When Lindsay Lohan burgled herself, she forgot to take her naked pictures

Lindsay Lohan has a busy couple of weeks, what with all of the break-in drama and moving out of her burgled home, and… you know, the normal crackhead stuff that can be so utterly draining. So, do we want the good news or the bad news first? Let’s start off slowly and have the good news. It seems that those rumors of burgled sex tapes were probably nothing. The Enquirer is reporting that, yes, of course Lindsay has a whole collection of photos of her and Sam Ronson, maybe other girls, and many men. It seems Lindsay can’t hookup with someone without taking a picture of the two of them in bed together. Anyway, it seems that this stash of photos was not taken in the burglary:

Lindsay told her pals she freaked after coming home to find her Hollywood Hills home had been burgled for the second time in three months, raced inside, quickly checked her secret stash of sexy pics clicked over the years – and literally gasped with relief when she discovered the thieves hadn’t dug up her naughty treasure trove.

“Lindsay admitted there were girly poses of her and Sam, scantily clad,” said a source. “Other photos showed her in compromising poses with both girls and guys. She never exactly said any of the shots were pornographic, but she kept repeating how she’d been absolutely frantic that they’d end up splashed over the Internet. For a girl who’s already experienced the shock of seeing no-pants photos of herself flashed on the Web, she seemed super-worried – acting like some of the shots might be way over the line. She was just totally relieved the thieves hadn’t snagged her snagged her bag of goodies.”

[From the National Enquirer, print edition, September 14 2009]

It’s totally weird that the burglars didn’t take the photos, isn’t it? Although I never really thought the photos/sex tapes were stolen, because we would have seen that stuff about two seconds after it was taken. But it is strange that the burglars went right for the $2 million in jewelry, rather than a classic investment in crackhead erotica. It’s a case for Sherlock Holmes, I swear. Or we could go the simplest theory – that Lindsay burgled herself (are there photos of that?!?):

When grainy photos of the burglars who broke into Lindsay Lohan’s LA home were released, no one could deny that one looked remarkably like La Lohan herself! Would Lindsay really rob her own home? It seems doubtful, but it would help avoid returning $2 million worth of baubles loaned to her two months ago by jeweler XIV Karats. Lindsay insists they were in a safe taken during the Aug. 23 burglary.

Also, after fighting with Sam Ronson in the early hours of Aug. 27, Lindsay spent the day downing vodka drinks poolside at the Sunset Marquis hotel in LA – and fresh slash marks were visible on her left arm. “They were really nasty,” says an eyewitness. The next day, Lindsay chillingly refernced her emotional and perhaps physical pain in a Twitter post: “Last weekend and this week have definitely left some unforgettable scars.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition, September 14 2009]

Christ, is Lindsay cutting herself? Or were the cuts burglary-and/or-crack related? Anyway, back to the burglary – yeah, I do think Lindsay had something to do with it. Maybe she didn’t technically burgle herself (hehe), but she might have known her burglars to some extent – they could have been her dealers or something. I don’t know.

Ready to end on a high note? There’s this little report from Star – Lindsay and Sam were in Italy recently, and Lindsay requested an “all female” staff to wait on her at the club: “It’s official: Lindsay Lohan does not like men! While partying with galpal Samantha Ronson at Fiat Playa in Sardinia, Italy, she asked for males to be banned from the club! Management complied with her request – even making sure that only women were on staff – and the ladies spent the whole night of Aug. 18 dancing on banquettes. That’s amore!”


Lindsay Lohan is shown out shopping with Sam on 9/3/09. Credit: WENN.com. Image above is a scan from In Touch

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23 Responses to “When Lindsay Lohan burgled herself, she forgot to take her naked pictures”

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  1. GatsbyGal says:

    Busted, bitch!

  2. ... says:

    This doesn’t add up at all. The prior break in at another wowmans home shows the same guy, so are you saying Lindsay was into the other break in as well? The outside footage before they went in without hoods didn’t look like her at all.

  3. DrM says:

    (Lindsay’s publicist says:)”This doesn’t add up at all. The prior break in at another womans home shows the same guy, so are you saying Lindsay was into the other break in as well? The outside footage before they went in without hoods didn’t look like her at all”

    Are you blind? Or on her payroll? I went and looked at the pictures and guess what? It could easily be her…and yes many MANY people think she had a hand in the burglary…its a bit too convenient.

  4. This chick is in a tailspin we have not seen the likes of since…

    wait for it…

    nevermind. They are all tragic wrecks!

    I don’t feel bad for them one bit, though.

  5. Neelyo says:

    Remember when people said she could become the next Julia Roberts and she’d win an Oscar someday? Now she’s just Dana Plato with a better publicist. Though I actually felt sorry for Dana Plato.

  6. princess pea says:

    DrM, that was awesome!

  7. YoMomma says:

    Well the video of the breakin shows three young people that look like amateurs. And didn’t I read in some report that the thieves were familiar with the house?

    As for the comment about the pics of “Sam, scantily clad” EWWWWW! For some reason I just can’t picture it in my mind.

  8. Roma says:

    Lindsay has large drug debt. Lindsay has no money to pay large drug debt. Lindsay tells dealers to come take some borrowed jewels from her but make it look like a burglary. Lindsay leaves door open to make it even easier. Lindsay gets more drugs.

    It kind of writes like a children’s book, doesn’t it?

  9. BW says:

    Wow! The thief wore a watch on her left wrist. Doesn’t EVERYONE wear their watch there? It would be more impressive if they both were wearing their watches on their right wrists, as that is very uncommon.

    Still, body positioning and all, it does look quite a bit like her.

  10. bros says:

    they should just subpoena her cell phone records and see what cell towers her texts and calls and twittering were bouncing off all that night. which they probably will do if this investigation goes any further. after all, this is a large burglary if the stuff stolen is 2 million. that has to be enough to get the police well involved…hopefully the company who owned the jewels will want to make sure all angles are investigated. I would SO love it if she were found to have robbed her own house. then should would truly be over and done.

  11. Wow says:

    Okay, a couple of things.

    Who would even WANT to see pictures of Lindsey and Sam? I don’t see any hands raised.

    Also, if it turns out that she set up this whole burgulary of her OWN house, wouldn’t that take her from being an attention wh*re to just plain crazy? I think there is actually a word for people who do stuff like this for attention. I mean a serious mental issue.

  12. LolaBella says:

    *Gagging* @ her ‘naughty treasure trove’.

    This girl will do ANYTHING for a bit of publicity. In her drug-addled state she doesn’t seem to realize that all of these shenanigans are going to prevent any director from hiring her for a movie; who wants an actor that is going to distracted and constantly under suspicion of stealing shit and just always embroiled in negative BS. She really is bordering on the pathetic now.

    Oh and I just threw up a little in my mouth at the thought of ‘sexy pictures of her and Samro scantily clad’. Uh, yeah…there went my breakfast.

  13. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Why does she get so many chances?!

    She is a mess. I totally belive she had a hand in the robbery

    & I agree the idea of her and sam in photos with their scrawny bodies makes me want to vomit

  14. Green Is Good says:

    Helen Keller could have solved this mystery.

  15. Nova says:

    When I first saw the video of the robbery, I immediately thought the scrawny legged girl looked like Lindsey. She totally left her house unlocked, blamed the staff…and conveniently didn’t steal anything other than those jewels she had yet to return. Geez that girl is dumb.

  16. Lem says:

    i”m a little slow this morning

    so you are telling me that grainy b/w pic of Lind is actually security footage of the burglar?
    No, I must have read that wrong no one’s that dumb.

    I didn’t need In Touch’s comparison photo, we’ve seen enough grainy images of her over the years. She better hope the jury doesn’t read gossip blogs, jeez. We’d probably recognise her monchichi ass in a ski mask and jump suit but ‘posing/ducking’ from the security cameras like they are paps. That’s insane. Is there no security shot of her sucking a finger or flashing a backwards peace?

  17. Nev says:

    Lindsey is white with pr so she keep getting away with her $hit. None of her projects make much money. She is floating on fumes.
    Like most drug addicts she is selling anything she get close to. She will keep squeaking by the law. She will keep getting hired for jobs untill one day she is found dead some where.

  18. maritza says:

    After the bad reputation she is getting no one in their right mind will lend her anything again. No more jewelry and no more formal dresses either. She obviously cannot be trusted.

  19. Hieronymus Grex says:

    She looks like she’s losing her hair.

  20. Obvious says:

    Wow. That girl could have been me. I have tons of hoodies and anyone can put their hands up on their hood.

    Why I don’t deny she probably knew the burglars, I doubt she did it herself.

    That girl could be anyone of thousands of girls.

  21. skeptical says:

    i would not be surprised if lindsay did it herself. she’s never had to really suffer consequences. she’s lived with a complete lack of accountability. that said, i don’t think the picture is quite enough evidence on its own.
    i still think she did it, but there’s no proof. only a very high probability.

    if the pics did get out though I’d really feel bad for Samantha. whatever she does wrong in this failure of a relationship, she still seems like far to shy a girl to like having naked pics scattered over the internet.

    she was actually hot back around 2003. now she’s a stick. but still a shy stick. sad if something like that happened to her.

  22. Daniel says:

    Come on guys, its a no brainer, why would the thief ONLY go after JUST the diamonds, head right to it, avoiding ALL the other valuable stuff? I mean seriously! True thieves that are good enough to break into a star’s home would steal EVERYTHING not bolted down, everything in the safe, including pictures, ALL jewelry, not just the borrowed stuff, electronics, even wall photos (if autographed), her underwear (yes seriously, think about it), her clothes, just about anything that is valuable would have been gone. Anyone who has been a victim of a TRUE robbery can tell you that thieves will tear up a place too in search of valuables. There was nothing “disturbed” in the house. This was a total “inside” job by Lindsey because she’s broke, etc. Time for her to go to jail! Bye Lindsey!

  23. Anoneemouse says:

    Yes, someone comes in an unlocked home and conveniently knows the combination of the safe that contains the jewelry. May have been more believable if they took the whole safe. And of all the people in the world to steal from? An out of job “star” who is not known to have any money and any money she does have is spent within moments? Yeah right. I called this one from the beginning.