Billie Eilish: ‘I really don’t like to be alone… I really am flipped out, I hate it’

billie eilish cover

Billie Eilish’s new album, Happier Than Ever, is out and so that means we’re in yet another promotional cycle from Billie. We’ve been in a non-stop promotional cycle from Billie for easily three years. It’s not that I dislike her or anything, I just wish she would stop giving interviews for a year or two so that she could have new experiences and figure out more of who she is, because her personality at this point is just “the pop star who gives interviews and talks about the same thing over and over.” She’s 19 years old. Who she is at 19 is not who she is going to be forever. Stop expecting her to be anything other than a 19-year-old who f–ks up sometimes and has dumb opinions sometimes. Just let her f–king live. You can read her new Guardian interview here. Some highlights:

Complaints about her boyfriend Matthew Tyler Vorce & everything else: “Uuuugh,” she says of online trolls. “These people don’t do anything. I’m like, do something with your life! Go somewhere. Go get a hobby.”

On insecurity: “Since I was a kid, my dad and I have always talked about a certain type of person who’s so insecure, or hyperaware and self-conscious, that they never move in a weird way, or make a weird face, because they always want to look good. I’ve noticed that, and it makes me so sad. If you’re always standing a certain way, walking in a certain way, and always have your hair just so… It’s such a loss to always try to always look good. It’s such a loss of joy and freedom in your body.”

To people promoting unattainable body standards: “It’s completely fine to get work done – do this, do that, do what makes you feel happy. It’s just when you deny it and say, ‘Oh, I got this all on my own, and if you just tried harder, you could get it.’ That makes me literally furious. It is so bad for young women – and boys, too – to see that. I see people online, looking like I’ve never looked. And immediately I am like, oh my God, how do they look like that? I know the ins and outs of this industry, and what people actually use in photos, and I actually know what looks real can be fake. Yet I still see it and go, oh God, that makes me feel really bad. And I mean, I’m very confident in who I am, and I’m very happy with my life… I’m obviously not happy with my body, but who is?”

Disassociating from her body: “When I’m on stage, I have to disassociate from the ideas I have of my body. Especially because I wear clothes that are bigger and easier to move in without showing everything – they can be really unflattering. In pictures, they look like I don’t even know what. I just completely separate the two. Because I have such a terrible relationship with my body, like you would not believe, so I just have to disassociate… Then you get a paparazzi picture taken when you were running to the door and had just put anything on, and didn’t know the picture’s being taken, and you just look how you look, and everyone’s like, ‘Fat!’”

She hates being alone: “I really don’t like to be alone. I do like having anonymity, or autonomy, but I really am flipped out when I’m alone. I hate it. I have a lot of stalkers, and I have people that want to do bad things to me, and I also am freaked out by the dark and, like, what’s under beds and couches. I have a lot of weird, irrational fears. So I’m still at my parents’ house a lot. I just love my parents and really like it here. It’s very comforting.”

[From The Guardian]

Half of the interview is Billie complaining about being famous, complaining about how she wishes she could be more open with her fans, complaining about how no one should care what anyone else thinks and on and on. I’ve read, easily, ten interviews like this from Billie in the past two years. I get that her life is a self-styled chaos and that’s what comforts her, but at some point, shouldn’t her publicist be like “okay, maybe we’ll stop doing interviews for six months and take it from there.” The fact that she hasn’t outgrown that childhood thing of not being able to be alone bugs me too – it’s not just about stalkers and bad people, she’s always been like that. She doesn’t know how to settle down and sit with her own thoughts by herself. She needs the constant stimulation of “performing” for someone.

Billie eilish album

Photos courtesy of Billie’s IG.

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15 Responses to “Billie Eilish: ‘I really don’t like to be alone… I really am flipped out, I hate it’”

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  1. Ann says:

    My mom says she sounds anemic when she sings and now that’s all I hear.

  2. psl says:

    I have an irrational dislike for this girl. I listened to some music, was not impressed and something about her annoys me so much.

    • Rice says:

      I thought that I was the only one! I can’t put my finger on why she annoys me.

      Sometime last year, a story came out that she wrote a song in 3 months during the lockdown. Well, the interweb was not kind. Comments ranged from ” So what” to ” Dolly Parton wrote Jolene and I Will Always Love You” in one day”.

  3. Pinellas Pixie says:

    Oh man. I am weary of complaints from entitled people. Yes, Billie is young and she will (hopefully) outgrow this but it is tiring. People work to get famous and are then unhappy about it. Yes, fame is intrusive especially in the days of social media. There is a solution to that, however, and Billie knows what it is. In these days of people losing their jobs, their homes, and family members, when there is so much uncertainty in the life of the average person, just please stop, Billie. You are very talented and that’s a gift. Please allow yourself to enjoy all you have earned. Many of us just don’t have patience for hearing much more about your unhappiness right now.

  4. lanne says:

    I don’t know. I think it’s hard being 19 under any circumstances, but being young and dumb and having the import of fame imbuing your words with gravitas they don’t really deserve is hard, too. Does she have the space to just be a kid? That may the the responsibility of the people around her, but she’s a meal ticket for a lot of people now. Early fame is not good. It’s easy to get arrested at the age that you are, and stay that age forever. I don’t think we should be too cavalier about her fears of being alone. She really does have people who want to kill/maim/do her harm. She has crazy people who think they know her, that she”loves” them, and that she is sending “signals” to them. Let’s not normalize this skeptism of fear. Fear is perfectly normal, even important, in these cases. Ordinary girls online get this from boys and from grown ass men. Young celebrities like Billie feel vulnerable because they ARE vulnerable. Please, not-so-young women, don’t forget that, especially for young women who might be in our own lives. Let’s not discount their fears of stalkers because it’s more real than anything we had to deal with. Heck, older women deal with stalkers now, too. And deep fake nudes and porn. All it takes is 1 stalker to get through the web of security around her. She’s right to be afraid. It’s not like we haven’t seen young women killed by stalkers before.

    • Granger says:

      The beautiful and talented (but not as famous) Christina Grimmie was shot and killed by a deranged, infatuated fan in 2016. So I can’t fault Billie for feeling vulnerable or afraid to be alone.

    • Otaku fairy says:

      Thank you. That was very kind.

      • outoftheshadows says:

        Amen. I’m not famous but I know SO MANY women who get stalked and harassed. That’s part of life for women, and it’s much worse for young famous women. I’m far older than she is, but I understand her feelings.

  5. Lucy says:

    100% agree that she should try keeping to herself for a bit. She’s lovely and talented.

  6. BeanieBean says:

    I can’t imagine what I’d come up with if interviewed at age 19, I think she’s doing fine. She may have nothing new to say, but she has new work she needs to promote so I’m not sure what else she’s expected to do. And at 19, it’s OK to still be at home with mom & dad, geez Louise. Certainly safer. Is she supposed to buy herself a big ol’ house & hire 24-hr bodyguards? Or pay friends to live with her, as some do?

    • psl says:

      I guess it is a positive when Kylie Jenner was saying things like, “This is the year of like….realizing stuff..” at 19.


    • luna says:

      I think she’s doing her best, being only 19. She wants to be true to herself, opening up about her securities, hoping it would help someone, and/or make her seem relatable. What else can she do? She’s too young and early in her career not to promote an album. Also, opening up publicly could be helping her, too.

    • Lyds says:

      At 19 I was in college and surrounded by friends 24/7. Throughout the pandemic, I keep going back to the idea that it is entirely normal and healthy to not want to be alone all the time…that historically we have survived on communities and communal experiences. It’s the western notion of “independence” that separates us and tells us that we can and should be able to do it all on our own.

      I have never felt this more acutely than I do as a mother of two young kids during a pandemic. Far away from family and kept away from friends, it feels completely isolating and unnatural. When I become parents of older kids, I would be thrilled if they wanted to spend their free time with me, rather than “be alone with their thoughts to find themselves” all the time. We should really stop stigmatizing people who can’t be alone; and I definitely don’t mean people who are codependent and must be in a relationship, but people who prefer to surround themselves with others rather than be by themselves all the time.

  7. Kkat says:

    Besides all the stuff that comes from being hyper famous and young, she has some pretty severe mental health issues.
    She has tourettes, severe depression and anxiety and has had suicidal ideation. She is young so she may have more affect disorders diagnosed when she is older.

    So I cut her a lot of slack and it’s lovely how close their family is

    And not liking being alone how she describes, is common in some people with mental illness.

  8. Monica says:

    Poor kid. I hope she has a chance to get some perspective and grow up soon. As a fellow sensitive person, I don’t think it’d have been good for my mental health to be world famous and giving interview after interview at the age of 19.