Gwyneth Paltrow jumped onto the NFT bandwagon, which is the least surprising thing

It feels like it’s been everywhere in recent weeks: celebrities buying and showing off their really stupid “bored ape” NFTs. Even Serena Williams is an NFT “owner” now. Serena’s husband bought her a pink “bored ape,” one in which the ape is about to cry. So utterly idiotic. While I would have thought that Serena is smart enough to see this as a bored-rich-person fad, I’m shocked that it’s taken this long for Gwyneth Paltrow to hop on the NFT bandwagon and then declare herself the NFT pioneer.

As others pointed out, her Bored Ape just looks like Kurt Cobain. But seriously, completely on brand for Gwyneth. She’s probably working on a special Goop project where purchasing NFTs will be the next cure for clinical depression. NFTs are the new “stickers that cure cancer.”

Meanwhile, I think it’s weird/funny that crypto companies and NFT people are seeking out celebrities like Gwyneth and Reese Witherspoon to shill their sh-t. Gwyneth didn’t tweet anything for two years (May 2019 to July 2021) and then when she came back to Twitter, all of her tweets have been about bitcoins, cryptocurrencies and now NFTs. Same with Reese: these companies are clearly paying celebrities like Gwyneth and Reese for these sponsored tweets. Which tells me crypto and NFT companies are trying desperately to break into the Blonde Bored Rich White Woman demographic. Which should tell you a lot about the product.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red and Backgrid.

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19 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow jumped onto the NFT bandwagon, which is the least surprising thing”

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  1. minx says:

    Oh, brother.

  2. LolaCoasters says:

    If you don’t understand what a NFT is, I highly recommend watching Julie Nolke’s video about it. You still won’t understand it, but you will laugh. 🙂

  3. Cessily says:

    That is all way to complicated for me, I confess I had to look up what NFT even stood for.

  4. rea says:

    That’s weird, and I still don’t get the fascination behind it.

    • Wiglet Watcher says:

      It’s a way to launder money that has been circulating well in circles of back door sales. You can see it as dumb little pics that celebs have fun with, but it’s an untraceable way to grow your wealth privately and secretly.

      It’s smart branding to have celebs show it off because it appears fun and will attract more investments/sales.

  5. lunchcoma says:

    I’m hoping that the bandwagon of uncool middle-aged celebrities will be what actually stops this ridiculous trend.

  6. tealily says:

    I know some one who made quite a chunk of change off NFTs. Part of me is like “are you serious?” The other part thinks exploiting all this while the getting’s good is a crafty, crafty thing to do.

  7. Mike says:

    So now instead of snake oil you get a picture of snake oil?

  8. Lucy p says:

    Also I’d like to point out the huge environmental concern that comes with mining cryptocurrency, and her business is supposed to be environmentally friendly…

  9. lucy2 says:

    I’m just shocked she hasn’t taken credit for inventing it yet.
    I’m a little surprised Reese did it, but not surprised by Goopy, or Matt Damon shilling crypto.

  10. Dara says:

    A savvy friend compared NFT’s to Beanie Babies for dudes. I don’t know if it’s an accurate comparison, but it tells me I can ignore the fad without fear I’m missing out on some miraculous investment opportunity.

  11. gah says:

    so a lot of NFTs are stupid but my husband works in financial technology (like the old school kind) and while I think it’s lame that these basic bitches are shilling for suitably basic NFTs and crypto wallets, I think it’s important that the readership of celebitchy and the editorial too understand the far reaching implications of crypto on:

    – economic cycles, inflation and deflation, stores of value
    – the way governments will support their fiat currencies will most likely be crypto in future
    – the systems being created not the coins are what matter (for example eth and terra)
    – Defi as a cultural and ideological movement

    yes the environmental concerns are real. yes the loudest MFers on the internet talking about crypto are manipulating the market (there’s a whole cabal of dude bros in South Africa). yes some people use it for money laundering and nefarious means. yes it is unpredictable like any blue chip stock.

    but to dismiss the movement out of hand is like saying in 1996 that the internet is sketchy as hell and you refuse to learn about it.

    my husband and I have been having long conversations about how crypto will change the fundamentals of our economic systems (in good and bad ways). incredulity and outright dismissal are not gonna stop it. the wave is already headed for shore.

    • CheChe says:

      On point! With retirement looming, I’m trying to learn everything I can about new currency/financial systems because I won’t be able to pivot so quickly on a fixed income. Change is coming to money. Not something to ignore.

      • gah says:

        it’s important- glad you’re on the learning curve. we were rather late to the crypto game given my husband’s exposure and obvi the past 4 months have been a huge dump BUT the innovation happening is going to change so much over the next five years. I hope more women will be ready for it.

        our former babysitter who is an aspiring actor and sex worker has a coinbase wallet for crying out loud. it’s easy to dismiss bc of the hoopla around bitcoin and doge but individual coins are totally beside the point (tho bitcoin is as elegant a creation as one can conceive of). one day bitcoin will be the of the 2000s and we’ll all be buying a coin that’s the equivalent of zappos/amazon.

        and we’ll all be wondering how we ever functioned as a global economy without it.

  12. Cee says:

    I feel so st00pid like I don’t even know how this works and why a cartoon of a monkey has value and is important.
    It looks like Gorillaz’s newest member.

  13. The Recluse says:

    I keep hearing about digital artists having their work stolen all over the place so someone can make money off of NFTs. They aren’t getting much help from OpenSea either when they report the thefts. And I keep hearing artists taking their work off of the internet as a result.
    Also, you’re more likely to lose money than rake it in when you mint these things. If you don’t have a name to begin with or something that people will go for, you’re going to go into the hole.
    Basically, it’s looking like a pyramid scheme.

  14. confused says:

    this is a weird take. while i think what we are certainly seeing are NFT-brand ambassadors, i am really surprised to see such negativity herr. NFTs are a technology, and the technology itself is neutral. it’s on the verge of mass adoption. in a year if you buy a concert ticket, that ticket will be sold as an nft and will be logged on the blockchain. if that ticket is scalped and sold for profit? well, the code of the nft and its contract will ensure the original artist gets any royalties that are due.

    buying a BAYC (ape) NFT is no different than a celeb spending a ton of money on designer labels (ie look at Supreme). is it a status thing? sure. absolutely. people love to buy fancy watches, nice cars, expensive clothes. it’s called signaling and it’s innately human. but with NFT and blockchain technology, there’s also utility. buying an NFT is often times like buying a share of a fully seeded startup. it’s like joining a club with a very active, progressive, and smart community. amazing for networking, friendship, access, and of course there’s the financial incentives. the NFT is a token. proof of ownership.