Joe Francis misses his blankie; suffers prison abuse


My heart really goes out to Joe Francis these days. I mean could the man who’s imprisonment is “one of the greatest miscarriages of justice ever” possibly get a fair shake? Naw. The man with the world’s most insincere smile seems to have a problem with not getting special treatment. He claims to have been brutally abused during his brief two week stay at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center in Oklahoma. He claims that he was denied food and blankets and threatened with being strapped naked to a chair for two days. It appears that he actually just had one of his contraband extra blankets confiscated, and they refused to special order his fillet mignon medium rare. And the strapping into the chair naked thing? I’m pretty sure that’s what Joe considers a good time, so I don’t know what the hell he’s complaining about. Okay the steak thing isn’t true, but the other two are.

The millionaire producer of the “Girls Gone Wild” video series has accused guards of abusing him during his brief stay at an Oklahoma jail, a newspaper reported Friday. Guards at the Grady County Law Enforcement Center denied Joe Francis food and blankets and threatened to strap him naked to a chair for 48 hours, Francis’ attorneys alleged last month in court papers seeking his release on bail in a Florida case, The Oklahoman reported.

Grady County officials denied the accusations, telling the newspaper that guards never threatened to strap Francis to a chair, that Francis had an extra blanket he shouldn’t have had confiscated and that his transfer was delayed because his family had somehow found out when he was to have been moved, creating a potential security risk.

“Mr. Francis was treated like every inmate that comes through the Grady County Law Enforcement Center,” jail administrator Shane Wyatt told the newspaper.

[From Yahoo! News]

I think that last sentence perfectly summarizes the problem here. Joe Francis was treated like everyone else, and not like the sexy rock star he is. And if I were Joe Francis and I looked into the mirror and saw my Alvin from Alvin and the Chipmunks face looking back at me all sexy and didn’t get special treatment for looking so good, I’d be pretty damn pissed too. Seriously, does anyone even care if Joe Francis gets shanked in prison? I didn’t think so. All his hissy fitting it just giving the rest of us more opportunities to make fun of him. And let’s be honest, with a face like that, he probably shouldn’t give us more fodder than we already have.


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