Lindsay’s dad: ‘God is taking her career away from her’

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Oh, Michael Lohan. I want to kick you in the face. He just has no idea how to be a parent. Especially to an adult. Parenting is tough with kids, but when your children are grown (but still acting like kids) it can add a lot of challenges. You can’t force them to do what you want, and you can’t punish them. Since Michael Lohan can’t make Lindsay have a relationship with him or get off drugs, he’ll just take it to the streets. Well, take it to Radar. And Twitter, and anyone else who’ll listen. We’re supposed to believe this is genuine concern, by the way. Filming clips for Radar intended for Lindsay. I’m sure it has nothing to do with attention for himself.

In the very public Lohan Family War, Michael Lohan is adamantly defending his decision to release tape recordings of Lindsay’s phone calls with him. In an exclusive and brutally candid interview with RadarOnline.com, Michael accuses Lindsay of lying about the seriousness of her situation and the relationship she has with her father. “Mom was saying it’s not dire, but it is,” Michael pleaded to Lindsay.

Another explosive accusation Michael levels against his family is that Lindsay learned to lie from her own mother Dina. “She was taught by her mother, unfortunately,” he said to RadarOnline.com about Lindsay’s lies. There certainly isn’t any love lost between Lindsay’s parents.

Michael said that he released the tapes because he fears for Lindsay’s life — he even emotionally addresses his daughter in the interview. “I’m concerned. I love you,” Michael says. Defending himself he stated “I’m tired of being called a liar.”

Michael also pleads with his fragile daughter to take responsible actions for her life. “Please go to a therapist,” he said. “I want Lindsay to get help.”

Lindsay’s lawyer Shawn Chapman Holley tells RadarOnline.com that Lindsay wants to go after her father and that they are “exploring all options both civilly, and criminally. We are talking to legal authorities in New York and Los Angeles to determine if any laws were broken.”

[From Radar]

You have to watch the video and see and hear Michael to really understand why it’s absolutely necessary I punch him in the face. Normally I go with something a little more vague and gentle, like “I wanna kick him in the ear,” or “I’d like to step on his stomach.” But whenever I do that I’m always thinking how I’d really love punch that person in the face. And with Michael Lohan, I’ve just got to say it. He needs to be punched. A lot. I’ll give the requisite disclaimer that you shouldn’t. But oh my God would I understand it. Just saying.

If that all weren’t enough, Michael also says that God is taking Lindsay’s career away from her. You remember that part of the Bible, where God is talking to that douchebaggy guy and is all, “Thou shouldn’t snort things up thou’s nose. And if thou doest, I shall smite you with straight-to-DVD film roles.” (That was a little bit of old school God and a little bit of Shakespeare).

After the first tape was released, Lindsay tweeted that her father was a “loser.” On her Twitter site yesterday, in an apparent reference to her mom, LiLo tweeted, “She blames herself for staying w/him for so long, I’d beg her not to leave b/c he always threatened to kill her if she did.”

But Michael told The Post’s Rita Delfiner, “That’s a lie. I guess Lindsay is on more drugs than I thought to say something like that. Now I’m going to release more recordings that prove everything she is saying is nothing more than a bunch of lies.

“No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her,” Michael continued. “Because she’s forsaken everything He’s given her and she’s done nothing but misuse all the gifts she’s given.”

[From the New York Post]

Oh the sanctimony. It is perfectly God-like and Christian to escalate things in a childish war of retaliation with your own daughter. But if she says things about you that you don’t like (and which may well be true), then God’s taking her career away.

You just know this isn’t going to end well. “Well” would be Lindsay going into rehab. And Michael falling down an elevator shaft or something. But the way this drama is escalating, it feels inevitable that pretty soon we reach the climax. I think everyone can see it but the Lohans.

Here’s Lindsay at the opening ceremony of a Beach Resort in El Jadida, Morocco on Halloween. Images thanks to INF Photo.

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44 Responses to “Lindsay’s dad: ‘God is taking her career away from her’”

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  1. Lantana says:

    Too bad God doesn’t take her father away.

  2. Praise St. Angie! says:

    OMG, I think I laughed about 20 times reading this post, JayBird.

    but the best one, IMO, was…

    “Thou shouldn’t snort things up thou’s nose. And if thou doest, I shall smite you with straight-to-DVD film roles.”

    you are FUNNY.

  3. Leni says:

    Shheesh, as if he has any idea what God would do. How about trying to be a parent before becoming a Messiah. What an absolute a**hole.

  4. murmur says:

    Now the last thing she’s gonna do is prove him right by going to rehab.

    Good job, Dad.

  5. Firestarter says:

    What would Jesus do is my question?

  6. Ruby Red Lips says:

    He is totally riduculous and crazy! No wonder Linds is such a mess

  7. anna says:

    TOXIC PARROT!!!!

  8. Kaiser says:

    If NeNe ever gets her hands on Michael, that toxic parrot will get his, Jaybird. Trust it.

    Edit: Anna, jinxy.

  9. Goddess711 says:

    Oh sweet Jesus, isn’t that great when a parent teaches the child not to take responsibility for their actions? Each of these screwed up Ho-hans need an intervention, for the love of…God!!

  10. JayBird says:

    How could I forget about that one?

    Michael Lohan is the fish in my unfair bowl.

  11. dirty martini says:

    Actually he was right on 2 out of 3 sentences.

    TRUE–“….she’s forsaken everything He’s given her and

    TRUE– she’s done nothing but misuse all the gifts she’s given.”

    However–“No wonder why God is taking her entire career away from her,” is complete, total, utter hogwash.

    She pissed it away. SHe snorted it away. She injected it away. She drank it away.

    God just shook her head in disgust.

  12. girlygirl says:

    I think the thing that bothers me the most is that he recorded all of these conversations without their knowledge; and with the intent to release them to the public.

    To me that just shows what a sick selfish person he is.

  13. Macca says:

    God isn’t Michael…. cocaine and you and that shrivelled up hag ex wife of you are.

  14. elusive says:

    and the spiral continues downward…

  15. bondbabe says:

    And it sounds as if he has forsaken his daughter. Actions speak louder than words and the only thing Michael Lohan knows how to do is talk, and talk, and talk and…talk.

  16. Mairead says:

    I wish God, Jesus, the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Holy Spirt, the Archangels, the Tooth Fairy – SOMEBODY would take away that bollix’s Blackberry :evil:

  17. pickelhaube says:

    Um, there’s this thing called “free will”. All humans have it, and Lindsay’s choices are ruining her career, it’s not God. I do wish people would stop talking about God, especially when they know nothing about Him or His ways. It just makes all Christians a target for mocking, which we definitely don’t need any more of.

  18. Katyusha says:

    If by “God” he means drugs and a sh*tty lifestyle, then yes. God is taking her career away.

  19. Cristina says:

    once again JayBird, you are hilarious and have made me laugh :)

  20. Si says:

    Mairead….that made me burst out laughing!!

  21. TwinkleToes says:

    Oh, Jaybird! Straight to DVD. I can’t stop laughing. But seriously, I can’t believe this guy is using Christianity in this way. That’s like the old school God talk like “God’s gonna punish you.” He never grew up and I feel so bad for Lindsay. Someone please adopt her. Brangelina, you guys want to add a red head to the mix?

  22. Firestarter says:

    LOL@Mairead!

  23. Neelyo says:

    Thou shalt not inject thy lips with the poison of food.

    Thou shalt not covet the fur and clothing of others.

    Thou shalt not shirk all responsibility in ones actions.

    Thou shalt not smoke the shavings of carpets, the dust of antihistamines and the acid of battery.

    etc, etc.

  24. lastwordlinda says:

    Well, yes, because if there was such a thing as “god”, he would totally want to mess with someone in just that way. After all we not only are not responsible for our actions when we misbehave, we are also not responsible when we are good at something. It’s all “god”. Not hard work, not talent not perseverence. It’s just if “god” likes you. Or not. So be careful because if you are in a car accident or something, “god” might save the person beside you but not you. Or make you a cripple for life but let someone else walk away. Because, according to lots of people “god” is like that. Nice. Very nice.

  25. Sigh. says:

    So does anyone else think that he is really and truly trying to save Linds at this point or keep his pockets lined and his name in the media?

    This is not about a sick daughter, this is about 2 grown-ass people, loooong-time divorced, who are still at war over their cash cow…

  26. whatever says:

    Poor Lindsay, she didn’t have a chance. My mom always said if you have one good parent, then you’re ok. And, she was my good parent, while my dad was pretty much non-existent. He thought us kids weren’t worth his time (his exact words). Both Lindsay’s parents are just narcissistic and self-absorbed. Then, they use their kids for fame and money. She doesn’t have a good parent. Sad.

  27. Giz says:

    Why doesn’t the family just shut-up!

  28. CB Rawks says:

    I literally have to look away if he’s on tv, or scroll down like mad if there’s a photo of him online. He makes me shake with rage and nausea, an interesting combo let me tell ya.

  29. Jazz says:

    All this tool is doing is giving Lindsay more publicity. Which I’m sure Lindsay will love because that’s all that matters right? Who cares about getting well just as long as her name is in the tabloids. Ugh.

  30. la chica says:

    the problem here is that Lindsay has turned out EXACTLY like her father: emotionally labile, publicity-seeking, using public humiliation to control others, substance-dependent, jail-time, dishonest, abusive, and uncontrollable. the apple did not fall far from the tree.

    and each time he humiliates her further, she retaliates with disclosures of her own. this tells me two things. first, that they are two peas in the same pod. and second that Lindsay clearly has NO management of her own because she is handling this all herself.

    no management means no work. which also means that if she gets in trouble tomorrow, Michael Lohan is the first person she will probably call because her latest parent-substitute (SamRo) seems to have abdicated the role. can’t say i blame her. it’s hard parenting a big labile emotionally-abusive baby.

  31. Tia C says:

    Well, I don’t know – Michael is obviously a douche and Lindsay is a spoiled brat, but I find all this quite entertaining!

  32. Codzilla says:

    I apologize if someone has already said this, but the whole “I’m making these recordings public to help Lindsay” angle is obviously bullshit. It’s all about Michael wanting to “win” this stupid battle, and prove that he’s the better person. The irony, of course, is that his behavior only proves the public’s already set-in-stone belief that he’s a useless turd (just like everyone else in that damn family).

  33. Bambi says:

    Priority #1: prove to the public that you’re not a liar.

    Priority #2: save your daughter’s life.

  34. RAMONA says:

    Michael Lohan likes to pick at a festering wound, Thats apparent, also at this time Lindsey is like Mount Vesuvius. Its not gonna take much more of his money grubbing, fame whoring antics to cause her to erupt…What is sad is, he is trying to make people believe he is doing it all for the good of his daughter…In reality he is totally destroying any shred of relationship that they would have ever had…She will never forgive him for what he is doing to her…Some animals eat their young because it is an instinct…Some parents have that same instinct and will do what ever it takes to destroy their children….He is in the same category as Candy Spelling!

  35. Mimi says:

    Lol @whatever i agree with u but that phrase “she really didn’t have a chance” make me remember of one of the stand ups of Chris Rock he is hilarious but he also said something that is very true “what the hell happening with “Crazy” a person cannot be crazy no more what happening with the word crazy was risk of the dictionary?” hahah to me now she is just playing crazy and delusional “no more no less”… I LOVE CHRIS ROCK

  36. sesilia says:

    its this happen just to her and hers mather. she must to spent more with hers family and have fun this is better than a psychologist! shre really ned help! she is a normal people too. lindsay if you read this message as a person tell you its hurts me too see you suffer and have attitudes to people and your parents and opinare not about that bus all im saying is that God is and will be your best help he love you so much and he is the one like understand you and wanna help you! just tell to him your problem what i say is not only a religion now on your hear and he comes to listen you and you comes to see positive results! blessings!

  37. teehee says:

    Oooh! @Murmur- excellent point–!!

  38. bo says:

    I’m pretty much with pickle on this.

    Just because someone throws the word God around it doesn’t mean they represent Christian attitudes, like oh I don’t know… humility, non-judgment, self-sacrificing love.

    Not a guy I want representing me. Don’t we get to vote on these things??

  39. skeptical says:

    @la chica- i had to look up labile.. i learned something today! that word does fit lindsay perfectly.

    lindsay is a lot like her father. both use public pronouncements, a lot, and apparently with the intent to shame their target into the desired behavior.

    this is why i wonder if samantha was ever hit. if lindsay is so much like her father in these ways, then maybe, in a moment of anger, she can be like her father in other ways.

    we already know she’s broken things.

    and samantha was looking real bad from about dec 08 to the april 09 big breakup.

    i am very sad now. i also grew up in an abusive household. my mom went into debt to get me into much-needed therapy. didn’t lindsay ever get therapy? i think she could use it.

    and wasn’t The Other Side supposed to start filming last month?

  40. Bambi says:

    The worst part about this is that he’s had these tapes for AWHILE.

    That means that these past few years that he was pretending to care about his daughter, he had these tapes stashed away, waiting for the opportunity to share them with everyone.

    He recorded them secretly and held onto them– but Lindsay’s star is fading fast and I guess Dad figured he might as well release these now while most people still remember who she is.

  41. la chica says:

    the thing with the kind of abuse that people like Lindsay are capable of is that they themselves would be utterly shocked to be labeled abusive, because they are so completely wrapped up in the victim role. same with Michael Lohan. as far as he is concerned, he is the victim of lies and his only motive is to clear his good name before God and country.

    so even if Lindsay beat the crap out of Sam (as she apparently on occasion did her mother), she still represents herself as the victim of the Ronson clan who are seeking to separate her from her one true love. father and daughter and frighteningly identical.

  42. Sakota says:

    Her father is perhaps destroying Lindsay because once she’s gone, along with her sister, her parents will no longer be parents. They can then revert to full blown childhood with the perks and stuff of adulthood.

    “because they are so completely wrapped up in the victim role.”

    Which makes them all the more frightening.

  43. teehee says:

    @ la chica– bingo– well put insight. Its the same mentality on either side.

  44. NFLer says:

    God doesn’t take anything anyway from anyone, she’s messed up everything on all her own.