Selena Gomez doesn’t read comments: they’re ‘so specific and mean’

Selena Gomez was also featured in Vanity Fair’s latest Hollywood issue and wore a pretty great yellow jacket in one of the pics. Selena has had a lot going on the past few years and it looks like she’s keeping that momentum going. She talked to Vanity Fair about a few topics surrounding her documentary release and future projects, including her bipolar diagnosis, being a role model, social media, and the other two-thirds of the best show ever. Some highlights:

On her bipolar diagnosis: I’m just so used to censoring myself that it was (a) me wanting to let go and (b) if they’re telling me to be quiet about it, that’s not good because that’s genuinely not the place I’m in anymore. Maybe it was weird and uncomfortable for other people, and obviously I was worried, but I think it finally allowed me to start being open about everything. It’s not that I was kind of sad—I actually have things that are chemically imbalanced in my brain. I don’t ever feel, even for five seconds, that I’m crazy. I don’t want people to ever have anybody tell them, “Don’t say that because it’ll seem bad. You won’t get this job or that boy or that girl or whatever.” I guess I was rebelling.

On honesty and being a role model: I wasn’t a wild child by any means, but I was on Disney, so I had to make sure not to say “What the hell?” in front of anyone. It’s stuff that I was also putting on myself to be the best role model I could be. Now I think being the best role model is being honest, even with the ugly and complicated parts of yourself. Now I don’t feel like I’m lying to people. It’s not that I was lying…I was scared of what people would think or that people wouldn’t hire me. Now I don’t think that way.

On social media and mean comments: The world was my high school for the longest time, and I started getting inundated with information that I didn’t want. I went through a hard time in a breakup and I didn’t want to see any of the [feedback]—not necessarily about the relationship, but the opinions of me versus [someone] else. There’d be thousands of really nice comments, but my mind goes straight to the mean one. People can call me ugly or stupid and I’m like, Whatever. But these people get detailed. They write paragraphs that are so specific and mean. I would constantly be crying. I constantly had anxiety…I couldn’t do it anymore. It was a waste of my time.

On her Only Murders grandpas: I really love them. I don’t like calling them my grandpas, but they kind of are. They’ll tell me the same jokes and I laugh every time. What’s funny is Marty will text me, but Steve will not. He has my email, but he won’t send me the email. He will send it to [my assistant]. I think he wants to be polite. It’s very endearing, but he makes it a whole thing.

[From Vanity Fair]

In the article, Selena does explain the system she and her team have with social media. She only has the TikTok app on her phone and her assistant does the posting on other apps. She also doesn’t look at comments anymore, but her team will put together a round-up of good ones. And honestly, I don’t blame her for that last part because people online are absolutely brutal and make such mean and unnecessary comments. It really is like high school on steroids. The anecdotes about Steve Martin and Martin Short are really cute and I love their dynamic and am happy it translates off-screen as well. And as always, I appreciate Selena’s constant advocating for mental health, but definitely think she’s rewriting the past a bit about being a role model and being honest even with the tough parts about herself. It’s her right to only address what she wants to, but I think she does still care what people think and censors herself and she’s not as transparent as she makes herself seem. But it’s Selena’s choice to share what she wants. If she ever wrote a memoir I’d read it.

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19 Responses to “Selena Gomez doesn’t read comments: they’re ‘so specific and mean’”

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  1. The Hench says:

    If I was a celeb I would definitely be on transmit and not on receive for social media. Occasionally I read some of the comments on insta pages for stars and they are at best asinine and at worst totally unhinged. Some fans seem to genuinely think they have the right to dictate what their stars should do.

    I believe there are studies that say that you need more than 10 positive comments to outweigh a bad one. On that basis I think all famous people should never read the comments to protect their mental wellbeing.

  2. Lily says:

    people say the nastiest things when they know they don’t have repercussions. most of the comments Selena gets anyways are about her weight. the girl has LUPUS and is a kidney transplant recipient!!! of course her body is gonna change bc she has to take steroids, be on crazy immunosuppressants, and probably can’t be as active sometimes when it flares. The standard people hold for female celebrities on their bodies is insane. even on this website, i get uncomfortable when we start making fun of someone’s hair or body sometimes. aka…everything about kate is she’s too skinny, she’s so ugly bc she’s mean, i bet she’s bald bc she wears a wig, etc. calm down folks.

    • Lady Baden-Baden says:

      Agreed. In particular – the Kate stuff centred on her looks and weight is out of control. But even mentioning it risks a pile-on.

      • Emily says:

        Totally agree. We can not like someone and acknowledge they are attractive (or at least not some hideous monster). Personally, all the “Kate looks so old” comments make me insecure because do I look horrible then too?

      • AlpineWitch says:

        Agree with both of your comments!!

    • otaku fairy says:

      True. Especially when they know that there will not only be no repercussions, but that their behavior will be rewarded with comments about how they’re entitled to be/can’t help being awful because the person they’re targeting Put Herself Out There. The attacks on anyone who calls them out for it are also part of the reward.

      • Mary says:

        My prior comment didn’t post but when it comes to Kate I think that if someone’s appearance, lauded to the hilt by the press, is a lie or unattainable without risk to one’s health it should be called out. There are people, including children and teens, that could be negatively influenced by the press’ putting Kate forth as a specimen of natural perfection.

  3. K.T says:

    Yeah, I think this is a good strategy and celebrities (and us all) should only see parts of the net, especially if you have a well known profile. Brigading, mobbing, policing and factionalism is pretty nasty and then the algorithm making whatever you watch even more hyper focussed means it’s pretty dark out there and only getting worse!

  4. MorningCup says:

    yes. selena’s definitely had it hard with all the comments about her body. people forget she’s not healthy and nitpick her on everything. it’s definitely part of the ills of being famous. even comments here sometimes pick apart celeb women.

  5. Eowyn says:

    She looks incredibly young.

  6. Eleonor says:

    This is an healthy approach.
    I work in customer service, and the last summer my colleague who is in charge of social network had a burnout.
    I had to replace her (because everyone was on holiday) people on Internet are THE WORST. I mean it wasn’t even persona, it was about the company, but oh Lord after 3 days I was “I get why she is in sickleave” .
    I can’t imagine dealing with all that on a personal level.

  7. A says:

    But Selena STAYS in TikTok comments and writing shady things about Justin and hailey. She loves victimising herself and it’s so annoying. People are definitely mean and the things the say about her is unacceptable. But she definitely fuels the fire and starts shit.

    • Southern Fried says:

      Selena and Hailey are friends now. Selena has evolved, grown more, has struggled with mental health and serious medical issues. She’s a wonderful young woman. Forgiveness is healing and healthy.

    • L says:

      Umm it goes both ways.. jb/hb and their stans start shit but I don’t hear that part. Anyway, everyone is living their life now. I think we should let them be.

  8. Mabs A'Mabbin says:

    OMG that last pic! She’s a baby! Beautiful.

  9. LBB says:

    I really hope her tv show “Selena and Chef” comes back on Hulu. It was a fun weekend watch.

    • Southern Fried says:

      +6! our family totally enjoyed it. I easily found her knife online and gave to our grown children as sweet reminders of how much fun we had watching it together during the holidays. We also made the empanadas and gazpacho together.

  10. Lady Luna says:

    She was live on TikTok the other day and people were so disrespectful. They kept putting emojis on her face and she looked really annoyed. She was pouring her heart out and it was so sad. Then people were upset that she was upset about the emojis. It’s like she can’t win.

  11. tealily says:

    That’s really sweet about Steve Martin. I imagine he’s a proper and respectful guy.