Karl Lagerfeld hates jogging pants, elastic & retirement

Karl Lagerfeld Receives 'Menschen In Europa' Award

As many of you know, I love a good “Karl Lagerfeld hates something of the week” story. Because this man is full of hate, for so, so many things and people. So much so, I’ve been keeping a running tally of some of his battles. Some of the highlights? Karl hates love, mirrors, the 1990s, public transportation, fat mothers, potato chips, sitting in front of the television, and anyone who says thin models are ugly. We have some new additions today – but they’re not anything epic. Today, Karl is hating on jogging pants, elastic, and retirement. Apparently, Karl, at a spry 76 years old, is determined to never sit around, retired, in jogging pants. Which is a delicious image, isn’t it? But Karl is still going to be designing until he dies. Which is epic:

You’re having a fashion crisis. Who you gonna call? Well, Karl Lagerfeld would be a safe bet. The 76-year-old designer has swatted away persistent rumours that he is set to stand down from his position as the helm of Chanel, insisting, “The world can count on me for a long time.”

“Retirement is not one of the topics with which I deal. Why should I?” he says. “I still have so many projects that I sometimes don’t know where to begin. Chanel will still need some clothes when I’m 89.”

Lagerfeld is a notorious workaholic. As well as designing for his own-name label and Chanel, he is the creative director of Fendi, an in-demand photographer and a celebrity in his own right.

His advancing age, however, means that many are considering the future of fashion without him. Lanvin’s Alber Elbaz is the name most regularly in the frame when it comes to the top job at Chanel, although he is always quick to deny it’s something that’s in the pipeline.

Lagerfeld, who famously shed 42kg in order to fit into the slim silhouette championed by Hedi Slimane at Dior Homme, counters that he’s fighting fit. His secret to maintaining a healthy diet? Step away from the jogging pants.

“Those things are dangerous because they have an elastic band,” he told Freundin, a glossy based in his native Germany. “It stretches and then you don’t know when you put on weight. I hate it when you let yourself go! I’m always looking the way you see me now.”

[From Handbag]

While I have to give Karl some credit for being hellbent on never retiring, it kind of just goes to show that the bitter, nasty ones always live forever, don’t they? I know everyone is always like “think positive, be nice, optimism will make you live longer” but I’ve found that’s rarely the case. It’s always the biggest bitch who lives forever. And if that’s really the case, Karl is immortal.

Karl Lagerfeld Receives 'Menschen In Europa' Award

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27 Responses to “Karl Lagerfeld hates jogging pants, elastic & retirement”

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  1. embertine says:

    Your list is incomplete; you forgot puppies, rainbows and the laughter of little children. ;)

  2. Huma says:

    Bahahaha. I can’t help it. I love this old coot.

  3. Michelle says:

    I admire his work ethic (as well as some of the work itself). It’s a shame he’s such a miserable old fart, but at the same time it provides a good laugh at him. Pretty even trade-off, I guess.

  4. Kayleigh says:

    I wonder who does his hair…

  5. nikki says:

    he always is funny!

  6. Praise St. Angie! says:

    for once, I agree…elastic waist pants are BAD. he’s absolutely right. you wear them and you don’t realize when you’re gaining!

  7. OXA says:

    This nasty old fart has permanent PMS and is irrelevant.

  8. Lisa says:

    Karl Lagerfield comments are idiotic, however severe restriction of calories does extend your lifespan, so he might make it to 120.

  9. lilred says:

    When he passes on he should be wrapped in jogging suit material for all eternity…He would spin in his grave for sure.

  10. WTF?!? says:

    But he loves spray-on tans and plastic surgery, so it evens out.
    Someone should introduce him to Crest White Strips.

  11. PrettyEmbalmer says:

    i am a mortician and i swear he looks dead to me….post embalming, restorative arts and make up dead

  12. filthycute says:

    Self-loathing former fatty. I called it.

  13. Yeah its me again says:

    Bitter old pepaw needs to un-wad his Depends undergarment, take a xanax and step in to reality. Hate what you will you old cartoon but retirement is a wonderful thing. You might just want to look in to it…

  14. snowball says:

    Karma will get him. When he’s reincarnated, it will be as a 500 lb. woman, the fabric of her couch adhering to her skin, eating Cheetos and wearing elastic waisted pants and a ginormous shirt proclaiming, “I’m with stupid.”

  15. LuLu says:

    I just love him. He is totally unapologetic with regard to his views. Maybe we are two peas in a pod because I don’t like the laughter of little children either. But rainbows are ok.

  16. Madelyn Rose says:

    Kaiser, your last three lines are classic!!

  17. fizXgirl314 says:

    is he using that ron popeil hair in a spray can??

  18. Firestarter says:

    I adore sweat pants, eating, but not the laughter of children. The purr of a kitten I enjoy though!

  19. Feebee says:

    I’ve give him 1/2 a point. Elastic pants can be bad but sweat pants are ultimately good.

    This former fattie really has so many issues he’s just a miserable, haughty, shell of a man.

  20. snaperific says:

    When did he get the collagen in his bottom lip done? Good Grief, 87 and getting his lips plumped? Vanity at its finest, and God bless him for that. I’m fat and I’m not the least bit offended by his hatred. To each their own. He’s mildly entertaining, and I swear he drinks virgin blood for breakfast, but I don’t think I’ll miss him (or even notice) when he finally does croak/retire.

  21. Liza says:

    “Nothing tastes as good as thin feels”…Kate Moss… p.s. This is my new motto and come on folks… Karl L. is a god. He can design some mean ‘ol frocks so stop being haters. We all know clothes look good on a hanger, so you better be thin to look good in your clothes.

  22. Rio says:

    Lol! I was studying to be a coroner (“Quincy” reruns ruined me as a child) as well as volunteering on the “Death Floor” at the local hospital in high school (aka the geriatric care ward), and I swear to CRIPES, I never saw a corpse that looked less lifelike than Karl L. I have no problem whatsoever with handling bodies, but he gives me the heebie-jeebies.

  23. BiggieShortie says:

    This dude is like the walking dead. A ghoul, inside and out. He is absolutely putrid, and I hate him as much as he hates elastic. That is all.

  24. KsGirl says:

    Is this guy a bitter old Euro snob? Hell yeah. Do his collections for Chanel continue to kick all kinds of ass – managing to be fresh every single season? Hell yeah. Can’t totally hate him. He’s got serious talent.

  25. Ashley says:

    Chanel needs to get rid of him. He’s ruining the brand putting those guady double C’s on everything. Not to mention making Lily Allen the face of the company. For why?

    Obviously the brand needs to move forward but Karls bringing it into Gucci territory and we all know what happened to Gucci.

  26. Jules says:

    You know what I hate? Karl Lagerfeld. I’m going to dance a little jig when he kicks it. I remember when you were a fat old cranky bastard!

  27. Jennie says:

    Wasn’t he in “Night of the Comet” and eventually blown away by valley girls with uzis?