Amber Riley is still probably best known for playing Mercedes Jones on Glee, which is a shame, because since then she’s taken every opportunity she could to showcase her talents. In 2017 Amber won rave reviews and an Olivier for Best Actress (the British equivalent of a Tony Award) for her turn as Effie White in Dreamgirls (which you know must infuriate a certain costar who’s never been nominated for a Tony). In a recent interview with xoNecole Amber discussed new music (her first album Riley was independently released in 2020), her mental health journey and fighting to take up her ‘Big Girl Energy’ in an industry that doesn’t make much space for Black, plus-sized women:
Glee was ‘not her moment’: Glee launched in 2009 with the promise of becoming Riley’s big break. In some ways, it was. The show introduced Riley to millions of fans and catapulted her into major Hollywood circles. But in other ways, it became a reminder of the types of roles Black women, especially those who are plus-sized, are relegated to. Behind the scenes, Riley says she fought for her character “to have a voice” but eventually realized her efforts were useless. “It finally got to a point where I was like, this is not my moment. I’m not who they’re choosing, and this is just going to have to be a job for me for now,” she says. “And, that’s okay because it pays my bills, I still get to be on television, I’m doing more than any other Black plus-sized women that I’m seeing right now on screen.”
She wants respect, not approval: “My new mantra is ‘humility does not serve me.’ Humility does not serve Black women. The world works so hard to humble us anyway,” she says. It’s why she’s worried less about whether or not people see her as someone who is humble. She’d rather be respected. “I think you should be a person that’s easy to work with, but in the moments where I have to ruffle feathers and make waves, I’m not shying away from that anymore. You can do it in love, you don’t have to be nasty about it, but I had to finally be comfortable with the fact that setting boundaries around my life–in whatever aspect, whether that’s personal or business–people are not going to like it. Some people are not going to have nice things to say about you, and you gotta be okay with it,” she says.
On creating “a life worth fighting for”: She’s traveling more, too. It’s a deliberate effort on her part to enjoy her money and reject the trauma she’s developed after experiencing poverty in her childhood. “I live in constant fear of being broke. I don’t think you ever don’t remember that trauma or move past that. Now I travel and I’m like, listen, if it goes, it goes. I’m not saying [to] be reckless, but I deserve to enjoy my hard work.” After everything she’s been through, she certainly deserves to finally let loose a bit. “I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
Aesthetics first: the photos from this article are stunning. If you have any doubts about how the new mantra is working for her, just take a look. As for what she has to say, I kind of just want to send her a big Thank You for laying her thoughts out so clearly and confidently. It’s obvious that the woman she is today is the result of real work she put into her therapy. What she says about spending money in the name of enriching her life, while knowing money will always be a worry she carries, that’s a delicate balance. And therapy has helped her recognize that it’s worth investing in her own joy. That’s a lesson I appreciate hearing.
There were many moments in the interview where her descriptions were so vivid I nearly gasped. She talked about doctors in Hollywood pushing pills on her for anxiety, to the point where one day in makeup she put her arm down on a curling iron and didn’t even feel it cause she was so drugged out–the makeup artist had to point out to her that she was burning. She still has a scar on her arm. Amber doesn’t sound like she was complaining, she just spoke the truth (her truth). Looking to the future, she put out there that she wants to do a romcom with Winston Duke and someday play Rosetta Tharpe. Screenwriters, please make this happen.
Loudly cheering for Amber! and kismet your comments are just the best. Thanks for starting our Friday off so positively.
She also won Dancing With the Stars which helped her separate herself from Glee and introduce her to a whole new audience.
I love what she had to say about putting yourself first and forward. I think that’s something all women could take to heart. Especially in your professional life. And it’s exponential for WOC.
She was absolutely great on DWTS and I was glad to see her win.
I love how real she’s being here. She is so smart and I can’t wait to see what she does next!
She also won The Masked Singer in the US.
About being perpetually afraid of being broke due to childhood trauma: same, sis.
Yup!
I still sometimes get anxious standing in line in a grocery store, mentally tallying up my order and weighing what I might need to put back if I don’t have enough money.
Even though I usually pay by credit card, and pay my card off every month so cash on hand at the checkout isn’t an issue, and haven’t come up short in a check out for ~ 20 years.
Growing up in poverty, me too. I have the same terror, it has never left me.
I understand her. I’m the child of mixed race teen parents and my husband is the child of war refugee immigrants. We have money but we are both loath to spend it on ourselves. We have to consciously reassure one another that we deserve travel and other nice things. The trauma of poverty is life long and intergenerational.
Me similar, and nothing makes me feel safer and happier than a little stash of cash and a freezer full of sale price food.
Ooof, this really hit home. I feel the same way. Gotta hit those BOGO sales hard.
Beautiful and talented, she is wonderful scene stealer. I loved her without not having watched Glee..
I get it about the lean times between gigs, she should study John Travolta’s approach because we need her to have a long and happy career.
What is John Travolta’s approach?
I totally get the lifetime effects of growing up poor. I have never heard this referred to as trauma. My husband grew up poor too and is perfectly happy and well adjusted. I’m going to have to think on it
He bought name-brands used high-ticket items using cash not credit , instead of brand new..
For example, cars..etc
Lower financing charges ….
I’m glad she spoke about this.
The lack of humanity that black women and especially larger black women are afforded is just shocking.
Amber is a huge talent and I hope she finds her space in the industry.
I absolutely needed to read this message today! I recently heard a quote about ending her engagement, and she said something to the effect of “I don’t owe anyone a happily ever after”, and I thought back to all the crappy relationships I tried make work even when I knew they were a flop. She is out here changing lives, just by being herself!
It’s a little bit ironic that Amber’s real life experience while filming Glee was pushing and fighting for a little (well deserved) focus before realizing that she wasn’t going to get that because she wasn’t even who the showrunners picked for stardom, when Mercedes’ storyline in the show was repeatedly pushing and fighting for a little (well deserved) focus in the Glee Club before eventually realizing that Rachel was always going to get the lead because that’s who Mr. Schu picked for stardom.
“I have to have a life to live,” she says. “I’ve got to have a life worth fighting for.”
THIS was so powerful to read.
Reminds me that Amber Riley is in the earworm of a song Dream Ghost from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, if anyone needs something to get stuck in their head today.
I’m really glad to hear from her. And I would CERTAINLY watch a rom com with her and Winston Duke. Bring on that big man.
Hear me out on this:
Guys and Dolls with Amber and Winston, and Halle Bailey and Regè-Jean Page.
(I have no idea if Winston Duke or Regè-Jean Page can sing a note)
(I also don’t think it matters)
So well said & authentic! Happy for her!!
“In 2017 Amber won rave reviews and an Olivier for Best Actress (the British equivalent of a Tony Award) for her turn as Effie White in Dreamgirls (which you know must infuriate a certain costar who’s never been nominated for a Tony).”
Actually Lea Michele went to see Amber in Dreamgirls while she was in London in 2017. She highlighted visit to Amber and castmates backstage on her Instagram. She also Bravo! tweeted that the cast and show were amazing! And she raved about seeing Amber in the show while talking to interviewers on a Sunday Brunch show. I don’t think Lea is jealous at all.
I love her first picture in the pale blue dress and the goddess hair.