Diane Kruger is a regular at Cannes every year. I assume she’s getting paid somewhere along the line, or maybe she just loves to return to the film festival where it really came together for her. In any case, Diane made her debut at this year’s Cannes last night, Day 3 of the festival. She usually brings it, style-wise. Um, she did not bring it this year. She wore a custom Prada dress which… is basically a crime against attractive women. It looks like Diane’s chest is bandaged and they just threw a dress over the bandages. I kind of wonder if the “bandages” were a last-minute add-on, given Cannes’ new dress code – maybe the original look was very “exposed” and Prada was like “f–k it, we’ll build in a weird boob halter.” The worst part, in my opinion, is the headpiece. It’s giving synchronized swimming.

Andie MacDowell in custom Alberta Ferretti. Love her, love her silver-grey hair, she’s such a beautiful woman… and this dress is incredibly unflattering. I’m so sorry.

Ariana Greenblatt in custom Cong Tri, with Chopard jewelry. Classic, elegant, simple. Killer bob as well – it might even be a “f–k ass bob.”

Irina Shayk in Elie Saab – this is honestly the best dress she’s worn so far in Cannes. But I cannot get over Irina trying to do “wet look hair” at Cannes. Either that or she genuinely has wet hair two nights in a row. Did someone forget to pack their hair dryer?

Luma Grothe in PatBo with Messika jewelry. I’m a sucker for a gold dress, especially the plated or scaled dresses. This looks so cool!

Elaine Zhong Chuxi in Elie Saab – I love it when the girls really commit to the princess look for Cannes, like a full ball gown and Disney princess vibes.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.