Donald Trump’s birthday parade went ahead as scheduled on Saturday, amid political assassinations, thunderstorms and what was reportedly the largest organized protest in history, the nationwide (and international) No Kings protest. To say that the parade was poorly attended would be the understatement of the year. It reminded me of Trump’s dumbass political rallies, which got smaller and smaller every year. Trump supporters are totally fine with everything he does, but they stopped caring about stroking his ego years ago.
On Saturday, President Donald Trump held a hideously expensive military parade in Washington, D.C., on his birthday. Trump and his top officials stood on a stage at the National Mall behind two tanks, before two large digital American flags. Military bands and troops, some on horses, some in vehicles, some in tanks, others in Howitzers, marched in the streets. So did a few robot dogs. An army parachute team jumped down. Helicopters flew over. Drones flew by. There were many, many tanks.
The spectacle was billed as honoring the U.S. Army’s 250th birthday — and planners put in admirable effort to sell this fiction, with processions designed to honor key times in American military history. In reality, the event was just one part of the Trump administration’s vast, billion-dollar government effort to make the leader feel good about himself.
The weekend’s pageantry, which some administration officials referred to as “Donald Trump’s birthday parade” behind closed doors, fulfilled the president’s longtime desire for a grand military parade. Starting at the Pentagon in Virginia, the troops in the parade — who honored the Revolutionary War, the Civil War, World War II, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, and the Global War on Terror — had to walk for about two-and-a-half miles.
Trump sat next to his wife Melania and the former Fox News host, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth. At points, Trump stood alone in front onstage, such as when he saluted troops marching as the 1st Cavalry Division. At another point, Secretary of State Marco Rubio was pictured yawning on C-SPAN. The military officials shown on C-SPAN spoke with reverence about the War on Terror.
After two hours, the event reached its logical conclusion: political speeches. J.D. Vance briefly went first. “June 14 is of course the birthday of the Army,” Vance said. “It is, of course, the birthday of the president of the United States. And Happy Birthday, Mr. President.” He delivered the laugh line of the night. “It’s also my wedding anniversary,” he said before immediately leaving the stage.
Rubio wasn’t the only one with a case of the sleepies – it looks like Melania also dozed off for a moment mid-parade. This whole disaster was intended to be some kind of showcase for military might and Trump-era power, and it failed miserably – the United States military looked idiotic and like they were swearing an oath to a fascist dictator who misspells “parade” as “perade.”
The silent crowd with the squeaking has me CRYING pic.twitter.com/3QhHnAyXVw
— B.W. Carlin (@BaileyCarlin) June 14, 2025
Our idiot-in-chief folks
“PERADE” pic.twitter.com/kOpuomqSKT
— Rep. Eric Swalwell (@RepSwalwell) June 14, 2025
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
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- 250th anniversary of the United States Army with a military parade, which happens to coincide with US President Trump’s 79th birthday, is expected to cost up to 5 million and feature 6,600 soldiers, 50 helicopters and 60-ton M1 Abrams battle tanks Featuring: President Donald Trump Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 14 Jun 2025 Credit: POOL via CNP/INSTARimages.com
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- 250th anniversary of the United States Army with a military parade, which happens to coincide with US President Trump’s 79th birthday, is expected to cost up to 5 million and feature 6,600 soldiers, 50 helicopters and 60-ton M1 Abrams battle tanks Featuring: President Donald Trump, First Lady Melania Trump Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 14 Jun 2025 Credit: POOL via CNP/INSTARimages.com
I’m surprised how badly done this looked, considering how much they supposedly spent on it. It was really half-arsed.
Unfortunately, it didn’t rain. The storm turned at the last minute. Some are speculating the soldiers were sloppy as their own form of protest. And I’m not convinced that’s the real Melania. Her waist is much slimmer.
The Army planned a 250th birthday parade in DC. It was going to be troops in period costumes, dress uniforms, and performance teams like the parachutes. Then Trump got elected and appointed himself chairman of the parade committee. He added all the tanks, howitzers, helicopters. He turned OUR Army’s celebration of their historic 250 years into a parade of war weapons.
So the soldiers walked instead of marching, they didn’t wear dress uniforms, were out of step and they looked MAD. I really feel sad for them.
I was a little shocked to see how out of step most looked. Who could blame them. My father served in WWII, HATED war, but felt that veterans were so ignored when they transitioned back to civilian life. He would have been horrified at the parade for Trump using them as his toy soldiers
Ah, that explains a lot. Army already had plans that trump appropriated for his own ‘perade’.
This was a classic case of “you can have it fast, you can have it good, or you can have it cheap…but pick two.”
The Army had a more modest, more family-focused set of reasonably budgeted activities at posts all over the country up until a few months ago when Trump decided he wanted this and Hegseth directed nearly all “existing” budget for the celebration to be redirected to this parade.
Events like this in Washington are common, but apart from large gatherings with speeches, any massive event like this, combining all day activities, displays and exhibits, parades, music, speeches, reviewing stands, security, and exhibitions are YEARS in the making (2-3, typically, sometimes as many as 5-10). They involve more people and agencies in consultation and planning than most people can fathom. The planning, the scheduling, the preparation, the interagency cooperation, let alone the drilling, run throughs, and rehearsals, is intense. About the only time it comes together quickly is for presidential funerals and that has a standard protocol that is planned, set, revised, and rehearsed regularly among primarily ceremonial units in the Military District of Washington whose entire job is sharp and impressive ceremonies and events–not hundreds to thousands of every day troops yanked from their day jobs at the (relatively speaking) last minute to throw something together.
People want to knock the military or think they ruined it on purpose, but it’s important for people to know that soldiers, sailors, airmen, Marines, and guardians don’t spend their days drilling for ceremonies–they don’t practice marching for high scrutiny precision on city streets, for example, as part of their day to day job. Ceremonies are typically restricted to familiar parade fields, happen a few times a year, and have rehearsals and advance drills. People are typically sleeping at their own homes and beds, not in empty office buildings hurriedly set up to house thousands of troops each in a new and unfamiliar location without prior planning.
This was mass chaos. The money only bought the materials and overtime to get the reviewing stands and infrastructure up on deadline, and paid for all the transportation and housing (as loosely as you can use that term). It doesn’t buy training, drilling, and rehearsal times. It doesn’t buy coordination and plan review time, availability, etc. It doesn’t buy any of the things that can’t be solved by simply putting more money into something.
They got it fast and they got it on the cheap (relatively speaking, shoving soldiers into empty office buildings and calling it “housing”) but they didn’t get “good” and anyone in DC could have told them that was going to happen.
This explains a lot. I worked briefly as a civilian employee for the Army about ten years ago & I remember attending one event (an exercise–don’t know the exact term for it). And not only did they have viewing stands but there were things set up for afterwards because the soldiers’ families were there as well as the brass, everybody came. It was very well thought out in contrast to this. And of course, really, it’s because trump was involved. Mr. Slap Some Gold on It & Call it Good. I felt badly for the soldiers & their families. This ordinarily would have been an exciting day for them.
On another note, he’s the same height as Melania (in her heels) now. He’s lost a lot of height these last few years.
@MBalon – thank you so much for the fuller explication. Was quite dismayed to see people mocking (or appearing to mock) our soldiers who were plucked from routine duties and shoved into a demented weirdo’s ego exercise without adequate equipment or training. My guess is that 75% of the last-minute budget went straight into hegsethalcoholfund.
As an Army brat whose family settled in DC-area and still lives there, thank you for this.
I’m sure you educated many civilians today.
The inmates are running the asylum and they have guns.
If America survives the next four years with its democracy and elections intact, I would be pleasantly surprised.
We are the laugh of the whole world. Embarrassing is an understatement.
I shouldn’t laugh, because here in Europe we will also feel the consequences for decades, probably. But OMG this is funny if you get past the second-hand embarrassment of looking at the military people who had to walk in silence by a squeaky tank.
The sooner he craps out, the better.
The squeaky wheels did not get the grease obviously. Everyone should view the video of the marching soldiers because they are out of sync, a big no no in a military parade. Veterans groups are saying the missteps are deliberate. The soldiers are mad as hell. They found a way to resist.
That’s what I think too. It was a deliberate middle finger to Trump and his administration. They knew exactly what they were doing.
They are silently screaming Foxtrot Delta Tango
🎯
Has anyone heard of an estimate of how many people actually attended the fascist flop parade? From a credible source that doesn’t rhyme with Socks Snooze?
My organization lost the $10,000 that helps fund a free public event we do for our city every year thanks to the dissolution of the NEH, probably to fund this stupid vanity sh*t show. We get between 5,000 and 6,000 people to come every year in our mid-size city. By the looks of it, that’s how many people attended the depressing $45 million birthday party.
According to a YouTuber I watch, “tens of people” were in attendance.
20,000 was the number I heard from Meidas Touch, about a tenth of what they were expecting.
@BeanieBean – thank you for the information. 20,000 doesn’t even fill a football stadium, wow. Like, that would literally be a poorly attended NFL game. The Savannah Bananas dancing baseball team just sold out Bank of America Stadium in Charlotte for two nights. That stadium seats almost 75,000. Just putting it all in perspective of how poorly attended the parade was.
The icing on the cake was playing Creedence Clearwater Revival’s “Fortunate Son” as the soldiers refused to walk in unison. I wonder if Trump understands what the song is about.
I think it was meant to be an homage to Trump, as the Idiot In Chief, who understands lyrics about as well as he understands everything else, has for years had that song played at rallies and the like (despite cease and desist orders). Like every thing else about that “Perade” it just made him and the US look like a laughingstock.
Oh, geez, really? I missed that. Idiots.
… Some folks are born made to wave the flag
Hoo, they’re red, white and blue
And when the band plays “Hail to the chief”
Ooh, they point the cannon at you, Lord
… It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no senator’s son, son
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no
… Some folks are born silver spoon in hand
Lord, don’t they help themselves, Lord?
But when the taxman come to the door
Lord, the house lookin’ like a rummage sale, yeah
… It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no millionaire’s son, no, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no
… Yeah-yeah, some folks inherit star-spangled eyes
Hoo, they send you down to war, Lord
And when you ask ’em, “How much should we give?”
Hoo, they only answer, “More, more, more, more”
… It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no military son, son, Lord
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one,
… It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate one, no, no, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me
I ain’t no fortunate son, no, no, no
It ain’t me, it ain’t me…
Yes, will Barron be volunteering if we enter a war between Israel and Iran?
He looked so bored.
Facsist is fascisting. I am really worried.
LOL I love the part that they RENTED the historical Army uniforms from HOLLYWOOD LMFAO
This fkn idiot. He looks more like he’s shielding his eyes from the sun, rather than offering a salute. YUGE, lazy loser.
I had a blast at my local No Kings protest. It ended at 7p, officially, but I was so jazzed up I didn’t go to sleep until 3am!
At first, I was screaming at mainstream media (outside of Fox) that they better not broadcast this travesty. And then I heard about the soldiers not marching in unison, the squeaky tank, and the looks of boredom on the faces of participants and attendees and I thought, oh please let mainstream media broadcast this travesty.
What a low turnout. They had more people at the protests in Old Town, Springfield, South Van Dorn, etc. then this mess.
And the soldiers marched out of step, the music was a mess, the tanks, soldiers everything looked so out of place in America. The whole thing was planned so poorly I got to wonder if they did it on purpose.
He just wanted to impress his Dictator in Arms brothers Pooty, and Kimmy. That he can have a parade too!
I am not a super religious person. But God sent the right weather on Saturday. I am in NYC and it was a miserable, rainy and cold day on the east coast. Love that for him.
Oh man, the SHADE. Good lord, that was pointed. Those guys can tight march in their sleep. The lack of dress. The contempt and boredom on their faces. Grandpa Racist should be worried. A clear message being sent. Most cheering thing I’ve seen in a while.
Russian state TV gleefully mocked their boi all day yesterday.
Saw that, it was freakin’ hilarious! Did you happen to see how he tried to hijack the G7 presser? Carney had to shut the whole thing down Trump was being such an asshole — bloviating nonstop about Dems and radical left and criminal immigrants taking over cities and wreaking havoc, praising Putin to the skies, and then he took shots at Biden and Obama…the guy is spinning out of control. Never been prouder to be a Canadian and see him getting politely reined in, because of course we’re polite here in Canada!
He may have US politicians and media cowed but he won’t get away with his demented ways here. Thank you, Mr. Carney!!
The squeaky tanks gave me the giggles, an excellent encapsulation of the whole farce.
As a non-American I was wondering how the military felt about this (my European ex-military family member is hard right as are all his buddies) and the out-of synch marching is interesting to see.
Malicious compliance… Foxtrot Delta Juliett Tango.
Now, we know: the army’s not with him.
As a near-native of the region (Dad was active-duty military + we moved there in 1968 when he went to the Pentagon), I just gotta ask: Who is paying for repair of the roads + bridges not designed for heavy loads rumbling down them?
As for marching out of step – you have to regularly practice for that. I’m sure Trump thought it would be like China or Russia where many of the marchers are not combat troops and do only parading. Our Army has better things to drill for – like combat!
god – I think about how disgusted my dad was with the Desert Storm parades and we’d actually gone to combat! Not hard to imagine what he would’ve thought about Trump, Hegseth, the parade, etc. Ugh.