Gerard Butler & Jon Hamm pose together, universe & panties explode

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

I was glancing through these new photos of Gerard Butler from an event last night in Los Angeles, and I almost had a heart attack. I was scrolling down, and there it was – Gerard and Jon Hamm (and Jon’s f-cking girlfriend). Is the universe still here? Is the concentrated hotness too much? I get that some women think Gerard has a big, pasty, potato face and that he looks dirty. But don’t you understand that his dirtiness is part of the appeal? He’s not Kellan Lutz. He’s not some coiffed pretty boy always looking at himself in the mirror. Unless the mirror is a headboard, and you’re on your knees. Gerard will f-ck the hell out of you without knowing your name. As for The Hamm… Jesus, the beard is back, and the twinkle in his eye and oh my God….

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

Here’s how I imagine the above conversation:

Gerard: Oh my God, do you know Kaiser? She’s my girlfriend!
The Hamm: That’s so weird, because she and I have been, you know…
Gerard: No, I get it. She’s not a one-man girl. I think she’s keeping Jeremy Renner and Clive Owen on the side too.
The Hamm: Well, good for her. Do you think she wants us to wrestle in a vat of chocolate for her affection?
Gerard: Probably. I’m game. I’ll do anything for her love.
The Hamm: Me too!
Gerard: Bring on the chocolate! Put up your dukes!

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

That’s good stuff, right? In truth, this event was for Artists for Peace and Justice, which is a cause Gerard has been involved with for a while. They’ve been raising money for Haiti, so whatever is happening in these photos, it’s for a good cause. Radar claims that Gerard had a “non-stop stream of ladies, all wanting a piece of him” at the party, but that his heart still belonged to me… he reportedly told a friend, “I can handle it at the beginning of the night but by the end I am so over it… for heaven’s sake I just want a little space!” Come home, Gerard. I’ll give you space.

Oh, look… Diane Lane was even trying to get a piece of him. Hands off, Diane.

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

Vanity Fair And Brioni Host Artists For Peace And Justice

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25 Responses to “Gerard Butler & Jon Hamm pose together, universe & panties explode”

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  1. Meow Mix says:

    Brilliant Kaiser. Especially the part about the mirror.

  2. Meow Mix says:

    And is it just me or does John Hamms girlfriend look like Lisa Kudrow?

  3. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Kaiser, I LOVE the imagined convo that you posted! hilarious!

    Butler presents somewhat of a conundrum for me.

    sometimes (like above) he is THE HOTNESS, but other times he looks a little blah. I think that, when he makes an effort, he REALLY looks good.

  4. Popcorny says:

    “Gerard Butler & Jon Hamm pose together, universe & panties explode …”
    -This tragedy could have been thwarted by Bean-O.

  5. bellaluna says:

    Gerard, yes, definitely hot. Jon, not so sure…

  6. teehee says:

    Neither of them does anything for me. My pink fruit of the fumes are safe. For today.

  7. Wow says:

    Who is this Jon Ham dude? He doesn’t come off as a panty dropper yet I’m starting to read of his name a lot this week. I’ll have to look Jim up, to see what the fuss is about. His girlfriend seems more “civilian” and age appropriate ( sp?) than “Hollywood” and that’s nice to see.

    Lol @ Kaiser’s script. I could totally see it going down like that on Gerard’s part. He seems like he comes from Monique’s school of non-fidelity.

  8. meme says:

    butler no. hamm YES but sans beard. lose the beard handsome!

  9. ElizabethM says:

    I will never look at a mirror the same way again.

    Kaiser, your imagery is much better than the “Mirror, mirror on the wall…” crapola.

  10. RobN says:

    Interesting how Butler looks like crap without the beard and Hamm looks like crap with one. Hamm looks like he belongs in one of those grecian formula ads where they dye the beard a ridiculously fake dark color and we’re supposed to think it looks natural.

  11. ien says:

    gerard butler is lost the hot so long ago.
    jon hamm is gorge without the beard

  12. Baghag says:

    I do not like Jon Hamm w/ a beard! He looks like Billy Mays when he smiles…

  13. Solveig says:

    Jon would be hotter if his chin was smaller.

  14. irishserra says:

    Don Draper….**sigh**

  15. Maritza says:

    I thought the same thing, Jon has a big head compared with Gerard’s. They are both handsome in their own way but the beards have to go. We have Brad Pitt to blame for this beard fiasco! Now all the hunky men in Hollywood have a beard!

  16. margaret says:

    thanks for this…yea, I would do both of them..together, separately and add Jeremy Renner to that equation….yea, that’s right. curses to my boring, no man life.

  17. Roma says:

    Oh. Dear. Gawd. Between the GB & JH combo, the beards (which can be essential for foreplay) and the MMF talk we had going on the Charlie Sheen post yesterday, I think I’m flushing.

    Seriously, I feel like I’ve been watching p0rn at work.

  18. Mihaela says:

    Jon is sexy but Gerard is waaaay hotter! Nice dialog, Kaiser, totally agree :))

  19. Feebee says:

    Kaiser, brilliantly written and great photo assumption conversation!

    @wow, she may look civilian but she’s an actress too.

    Prefer Jon without the beard but okay, and Gerrid is looking v/good for the moment.

  20. Lochie says:

    Just ‘fess up, Kaiser.

    No marshmallows, chocolate sprinkles, etc tossed on top of the chocolate manpile? Needless to say, the nuts are taken care of.

  21. canadianchick says:

    Oh.My.God. I’d like to be the cream in Jon and Gerard”s cookie, with chocolate sprinkles of course.

  22. lait says:

    Seriously HOT!! Jon Hamm’s girlfriend was on Cloud 9, clearly. What? Oh.. aaah! my panties just exploded!

  23. Whoa Diane Lane looks hot! Love the imaginary conversation, Kaiser. Haha

  24. I Choose Me says:

    Too funny Kaiser. :))

  25. Cravin says:

    Gerard Butler without a doubt, looks good and donates his time and money for many causes.