We’re in week two of Momgate, which started when Ashley Tisdale published an essay in The Cut about breaking up with the mom group that she was in with Hilary Duff, Mandy Moore, Meghan Trainor, and other non-famous women. Since Ashley’s essay went viral, we’ve heard different reasons why things went south between both sides, but it sounds like it was a long-time coming. Hilary’s estranged sister, Haylie Duff, seemingly took Ashley’s side while Willa Ford stood up for some of the non-famous moms. Meghan Trainor made it clear that she had nothing to do with anything that went down.
The biggest nod to the ordeal came when Hilary’s husband, Matthew Koma, shaded Ashley in an Instagram post that mocked her photo spread in The Cut and called her “the most self obsessed tone deaf person on Earth.” Well, Becca Tobin did not like Matthew getting involved. Last week, she commented “Ew” on a Threads post about his picture. This week, she elaborated more on her podcast, calling him a “loser” and saying what he did was “so gross.”
Becca Tobin isn’t a fan of Hilary Duff’s husband Matthew Koma’s decision to get involved in her mom group drama.
The Glee alum, 39, spoke about Ashley Tisdale French’s “toxic” mom group drama on a Tuesday, Jan. 13 episode of her podcast LadyGang and slammed the Lizzie McGuire alum’s husband for involving himself in the drama.
“Now let me tell you, I don’t think there’s any loser…there’s no loser in this group, to me, not one except for Hilary Duff’s husband,” Tobin said on the podcast. “I think it is so gross when husbands jump in and get petty. Especially since Ashley did not name names.”
“I really am rubbed the wrong way when a man inserts himself like this, and it’s solely for him to get attention,” Tobin continued. Her co-host Jac Vanek then said that Koma, who is a musician, is known as someone who can “stir the pot” on the Internet.
“He always inserts himself into things. So it’s not as surprising that he would do that in that situation as like, a normal husband,” continued Vanek. “I wouldn’t want my husband doing it.”
Tobin went on to say that her issue with Koma was that he publicly “attacked” Tisdale French.
“He called her self-obsessed, or whatever. He said something about her being self-absorbed and I think that’s so tacky,” she said. “I would be so upset with my husband, whether or not I get along with this person. We had a falling out…whatever the thing is. She goes low, and then he goes lower.”
“I think it’s actually really gross when a man comments on something like this. It’s offensive for what he said about her. I don’t like it at all,” added Tobin.
Although Tobin said she doesn’t know much about the inner workings of Tisdale French’s former friend group, she shared that she can see both sides of the argument.
“This is where she is in her life. This is the moment that she’s at in her life,” she said. “A young mom with young kids. Your world revolves around your kids, so then your world becomes your friend group. And I think she was just trying to…and it’s relatable, many women deal with this as they become moms and navigate mom groups.”
“I understand why she did it, but what I don’t understand is that somebody in her life should have told her, the Internet sleuths of America – of the world — are so incredible that they’re going to know within three seconds that this article comes out exactly who you’re talking about,” said Tobin. “It’s very obvious.”
Was Matthew’s post a little petty and unnecessary in the overall scheme of things? Of course it was. Did he need to jump in to fight his wife’s battles? Not really. Should he have taken the high road and kept quiet? Probably. But, that would be pretty boring for the rest of us who would otherwise have to be subjected to their peers weighing in with mature takes like Becca’s or Crystal Minkoff’s. The world is burning, and I won’t apologize for being invested in silly, lowstakes gossip like this.
As for Crystal, on her podcast, she talked about losing her own friend group after she joined Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2021. She’s known many of the women involved in Ashley’s former group since childhood. While she also sympathized with her, like Becca, she was not taking sides because her personal experience with these women was positive. They both also stressed that they didn’t understand why Ashley would call everyone out so publicly without expecting blowback. I suppose that is the million dollar question. Her initial post to her personal website was powerful, but did not get much traction. She could have left it there, but she didn’t.
Photos credit: Xavier Collin/Image Press Agency/Avalon, Getty
They may have young children but they are not “young moms.” They’re mostly 40.
No, I agree. It was juvenile. Patronizing. And it reflected badly on Hillary. No, she’s not responsible for her spouse’s actions, but you are the company you keep.
Koma inserting himself gave me the ick too. I only vaguely knew who he was bc I loosely follow Hilary Duff. I went to his IG and watched a couple things he posted and the ick grew and now has been cemented in my brain forever.
These women are my age with kids’ the same age as mine and I would have been invested even before he decided to chime in. 🤷♀️🤷♀️
I think what Hilary Duff’s husband did was really petty. I would have been embarrassed if my husband did that. She may have been behind it. Maybe she expects him to publicly defend her. Who knows? But Ashley Tisdale should have kept all this to herself. It really hurts when friendships end, particularly if it’s a group shoving you out. It can hurt as much as a romantic relationship ending. But … it’s life. Friendships end and making friends as an adult is not easy.
I agree with Becca Tobin. There’s no way people weren’t going to dig around and figure out who Tisdale was talking about. Did she want them to? Was she hoping for a public blow up?