Jason Bateman discussed his patronizing podcast moment with Charli XCX

A few weeks ago, CharliXCX appeared on the SmartLess podcast, at Sean Hayes’ invitation. The interview was interesting up until Jason Bateman started pressing Charli on being an only child and whether she wants kids. She spoke about how she’s not going to have children and gave her reasons why, and Jason responded by telling her that she could change her mind when she meets someone (Charli got married last year). Jason came across as patronizing, to put it mildly. People yelled about him on the internet but he never said anything about it… until now. Jason chatted with the Hollywood Reporter to promote his latest TV project, DTF St. Louis, and they asked about that Charli moment and a lot more. Some highlights from his digital cover interview:

His career bottomed out in his 20s: “Were it not for some of that cliff-hanging earlier in my career, I don’t know if I’d be as good as I am at the caretaking of these opportunities. But I have seen and felt what it is like to really not have a lot of prospects, and it keeps you hungry.”

Whether anyone suggested that he take a break to go to college when he was young. “My parents were my manager at the time, so they kind of had a conflict of interest there. They’re not going to say, ‘Stop doing this and start studying something else,’ ” he says. In retrospect, Bateman, who never even graduated from high school, wishes that they had. “But I did Teen Wolf Too at 18, and it was like, ‘Well, it’s all up from here. Look at me, I’m starring in the movies!’ ”

He partied hard in his 20s: “Fortunately, I was living at a time without social media and camera phones, so I got away with a lot, but it was definitely close a few times.”

Arrested Development changed everything: “America didn’t watch, but the people that handed out jobs did, and you could just tell, like, oh, this is cool and us being a part of it actually makes us cool by association. And so it was that stink I could almost smell being washed off of me little bits at a time.”

His wife Amanda Anka asked him to stop partying: She’d been the breadwinner early in the relationship and continues to be a strong, steadying force. “Amanda and I definitely had a few negotiations about the point at which the [partying] spigot was going to completely turn off. She’d be like, ‘This drip, drip, drip is annoyingly unpredictable, Jason.’ She didn’t demand that I completely absolve, but that was sort of the back-and-forth, and I was like, well, I feel like my [sobriety] ETA is six months away, but if I could land this plane now, it would alleviate a lot of the tension, so let’s just f–king do it.” (While he’s abstained from booze and what he’s called “the Scarface stuff” for decades now, Bateman has joked that he is “California sober,” which is to say he’s not above a gummy.)

The Charli XCX mess on the podcast: He then stepped in it when he asked the 31-year-old how many children she wanted; and when she said none, suggesting her mind might change when she meets the right person, as his wife’s did when she met him. Of course, had Charli been Bateman’s guest, he would have known that she was, in fact, already married and that she’d mined her feelings around child-rearing in her music. The exchange itself was friendly, but the online response to Bateman’s line of questioning was decidedly less so. Asked for his thoughts on what transpired a week later, he offers this: “We were having a great conversation about her life growing up as an only child. It seemed like a very natural follow-up to that. That’s all it was. I don’t really have much [else] to say about it, except that it is always interesting and valuable and educational to hear people’s thoughts, reactions and feelings to anything I say or do.”

He loves being a quiet family man: “I’m a softie,” he says, proudly. “I like moving the Elf on the Shelf every day. In fact, we’ve got a new little thing, a troll, that I move around now in the offseason. But I love it all: the slippers, the fireplace, the nesting.”

[From THR]

Listening to that episode of SmartLess, it’s true that there was a natural progression to the conversation, which I said at the time. Charli spoke about being an only child, and the loneliness that comes with it and having to learn different social skills later in life because she didn’t have a sibling. Jason’s questions about whether she wanted kids flowed from there. And I do think the “do you want to have kids?” question is fair – it’s a podcast interview, and she was clearly fine with talking about it. That wasn’t the problem – the problem was that instead of accepting her answer about why she didn’t want kids, he patronized her and told her she would change her mind when she met the right guy. Jason’s answer here shows that he really doesn’t understand why he actually offended people. This would have been the right moment to just say something like “yeah, people had a point, I didn’t come across well in that moment and I shouldn’t have said it.” Is that so f–king difficult?

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.

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13 Responses to “Jason Bateman discussed his patronizing podcast moment with Charli XCX”

  1. Lala11_7 says:

    An entitled White Man admitting they did wrong is NOT a thing in human history on planet 🌏….😕

  2. Jais says:

    Yeah, he didn’t address the issue and the problematic part, which was when he pushed back on her answer of not wanting kids. That was the hard part to hear. And the fact that he can’t even reflect on that at all. Something like wow yeah on reflection, I was out of pocket for that and I learned something from that exchange. But nope. He doubled down on defense. JFC, it’s nice to be a white coddled rich man in Hollywood, amirite?

  3. MaisiesMom says:

    I’ve listened to that podcast a lot, at least in bits and pieces, because my husband likes it. Jason has a very dry, often sarcastic sense of humor that can come across as cutting. The three guys rib each other constantly. He’s pretty self-deprecating too.

    I’m not surprised that he was less than diplomatic in handling this question with CharliXCX. To be fair, I think he would have asked a man the same question and said the same thing (most of their interviewees seem to be men?). They have a bit of a bro energy, for sure, and like to push the envelope a bit. At least Jason and Will do. Sean seems like a less edgy personality overall.

    Anyway, it was a dumb thing to say. I’m not sure I’d expect different or better from them on issues like this, though.

  4. Kitten says:

    “I meant it with no malice but in hindsight, I completely see how it could come across as patronizing.” So simple.

    I don’t think he’s internalizing any of the very valid criticism he received at all, actually. And no, I don’t think he needs to be burned at the stake nor does he need to issue some long-winded apology–BUT–it would be nice if men like him learned that this issue can be (but not always) a sensitive one for women. Our society is constantly sending women the message that our self-worth and our value is intrinsically tied to procreation and any woman’s decision to not have kids deserves to be validated, not questioned.

  5. Miche says:

    The more he speaks the less I like him.

  6. Ellen says:

    OK, going to go against the internet grain a bit and say, I didn’t think the questions were that bad. Were they a little patronizing, sure, in the way that 95% of society is programmed to be about young people and kids. He wasn’t haranguing her or promising her she’d get baby crazy someday or – most importantly – saying she was wrong to not want kids. He related his experience and put it out there. And it’s true! It does happen that way for some people. I think people are frustrated that in general our society sucks at handling parenting conversations and supporting parents or not parents and are unloading those bigger frustrations on a pretty innocuous conversation.

    • Kitten says:

      Right that DOES happen for some people but for just as many people they never change their mind. The point is to avoid projecting your personal experiences on others and respect and validate people’s different choices regarding procreation. If a man regretted having children we would be rightfully outraged if he told a pregnant woman: “you’ll probably end up regretting it.” This is really no different.

      Otherwise, I agree with you that he wasn’t haranguing her. I just think that the entire conversation we’re having here is bigger than just Jason Bateman and as a society, we could learn to be a bit more sensitive about this topic. It’s always ok to say less.

  7. M says:

    I am a 40 year old woman who gets asked that same question ALL the time. It just happened yesterday at the nail salon. It’s another instance of people not believing women. If I tell you I don’t want kids, that’s the end of the conversation. Some stranger isn’t going to suddenly sway me.

    • DeeSea says:

      One of the best parts of being post-menopausal and visibly past childbearing age is that people have finally stopped repeatedly asking me whether I want kids and confidently assuring me that I’ll change my mind someday because I “would make such a great mother.”

  8. ElsaBug says:

    Jason Bateman was my first celebrity crush – since his Silver Spoons days and through adulthood. That ended with an awful, gaslighting interview that the Arrested Development cast did where Jessica Walter cried over abusive behavior from Jeffrey Tambor. JB, Tony Hale and David Cross over and over defended him and dismissed her until she literally cried. It was awful. Sample quote: Not to say that you know, you [Walter] had it coming. But this is not in a vacuum — families come together and certain dynamics collide and clash every once in a while.

    • Elle says:

      Same. Cannot stand him.

    • North of Boston says:

      If it was just this recent podcast i wouldn’t be side eyeing him so much

      But after he, and the other guys, were so dismissive of JW in that AD interview, minimizing HER thoughts, opinions, lived experience and how painful JT’s actions were to her, you’d think a grown adult would think twice before once again thinking HE knows better than a woman about her own experiences and opinions.

      But no, Bateman just can’t be bothered to give a woman respect. And instead thinks his worldview, opinions need to overwrite hers. Again.
      Even after other people point it out to him.

      (And I’m gonna try to forget that stupid story about him having to be told to stop going out party-hardy-ing after he got married. Just No – grow tf up dude.)

  9. Kirsten says:

    I don’t mind this so much because it feels like he was a bit clueless rather than having an agenda. There’s a different tone when the “women are nothing without having children” folks make this kind of comment.

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