Personally and politically, I love drag queens and cross-dressers. Have fun and god bless. Do what makes you happy. Unfortunately, what I hate most of all is political hypocrisy from the far-right wingnuts. Those people have spent years demonizing, threatening and harassing drag queens. It’s one of the key tenets of the MAGA Republican party, that drag and cross-dressing are one of the worst crimes in the world and that drag queens are degenerates who should not be welcomed in polite society. Nevermind all of the child molesters hiding in plain sight with the same MAGA Republican party. But I digress, and I have a point, I swear. As it turns out, ICE Barbie’s husband is a cross-dresser. The whole time Kristi Noem was shooting family pets and imprisoning immigrants in alligator-infested swamp prisons, her husband was buying Party City wigs, hot pants and balloon breasts.
Kristi Noem’s husband is today revealed as a secret crossdresser who dons gigantic fake breasts and pink hotpants to chat with online fetish models.
While his wife has operated at the highest echelons of government, handling matters of national security in her recent role as DHS secretary, Bryon Noem, 56, has been dressing up and paying adult entertainers to talk dirty.
The Daily Mail has reviewed hundreds of messages involving three women from the ‘bimbofication’ scene – where p0rn performers transform themselves into real-life Barbie dolls by pumping colossal amounts of saline into their breasts.
Bryon has lavished praise on their surgically-enhanced bodies, confessed his lust for ‘huge, huge ridiculous boobs,’ and even made indiscreet remarks about his 34-year marriage to former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi, our investigation can exclusively disclose.
National Security experts consulted by the Daily Mail say his brazen behavior could have left the 54-year-old MAGA favorite, who oversaw ICE’s aggressive crackdown until she was removed from her position on March 5, vulnerable to blackmail.
‘If a media organization can find this out, you can assume with a high degree of confidence that a hostile intelligence service knows this as well,’ warned former CIA officer Marc Polymeropoulos.
In a selfie shared with one of his online contacts, Bryon, an insurance mogul, can be seen squeezing into a flesh-colored crop-top and skintight pink shorts.
Hold up – his name is Bryon??? Pronounced “Brian?” My god. You can see the Mail’s exclusive photos at the link. I not completely sure this is a standard cross-dressing thing, it feels like this is probably a sub-genre kink involving a very specific kind of dress-up within a specific group. But I honestly don’t know and I’m not going to look it up. If this was just some random guy role-playing online, I wouldn’t care at all. But given that it’s Kristi Noem’s husband… yeah, what a mess. Yes, she’s not the head of DHS anymore, but this will surely sink her political future, one would hope. Then again, I thought the same about her dog-killing confessions.
Oh, and here’s more tea – apparently, Bryon confessed to his online friends that his wife was/is banging Corey Lewandowski. My guess is that the cuck chair is probably one of Bryon’s kinks too. Noem’s reps ended up going to the New York Post to respond to the Mail’s exclusive: “Ms. Noem is devastated. The family was blindsided by this, and they ask for privacy and prayers at the time.” LMAO.
Trump shocked to hear about cross-dressing husband of Kristi Noem: 'That's too bad' https://t.co/OaiaEIxQ5o pic.twitter.com/F0NfGrRhnq
— New York Post (@nypost) March 31, 2026
Secret double life of Kristi Noem's crossdressing husband Bryon: The pouting 'busty bimbo' photos and trove of explicit messages https://t.co/6g6nIJlAwf
— Daily Mail US (@Daily_MailUS) March 31, 2026
Photos courtesy of Cover Images.
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- Kristi Noem, Governor of South Dakota appears before a House Committee on Natural Resources hearing on H.R. 3397, to require the Director of the Bureau of Land Management to withdraw a rule of the Bureau of Land Management relating to conservation and landscape health, in the Longworth House Office Building. Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 15 Jun 2023 Credit: Rod Lamkey/CNP/startraksphoto.com
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- Kristi Noem, Governor of South Dakota appears before a House Committee on Natural Resources hearing on H.R. 3397, to require the Director of the Bureau of Land Management to withdraw a rule of the Bureau of Land Management relating to conservation and landscape health, in the Longworth House Office Building. Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 15 Jun 2023 Credit: Rod Lamkey/CNP/startraksphoto.com
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- United States Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem returns to the West Wing after speaking to the media ash the White House Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 10 Mar 2025 Credit: Chris Kleponis/CNP/INSTARimages
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- United States Secretary of Homeland Security (DHS) Kristi Noem participates in a Cabinet Meeting in the Cabinet Room of the White House in Washington, DC Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 08 Jul 2025 Credit: Aaron Schwartz/POOL via CNP/INSTARimages.com
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- United States Secretary of Homeland Security Kristi Noem is seen during a US House Committee on Homeland Security hearing entitled “Worldwide Threats to the Homeland” in the Cannon House Office Building on Capitol Hill Featuring: Kristi Noem Where: Washington, District of Columbia, United States When: 11 Dec 2025 Credit: Mattie Neretin/CNP/INSTARimages
🤣😆😂😅…. Somehow this reminds me of how the early Nazi movement was mostly a homosexual bondage society.
While I believe this is happening. Could that be AI generated photo of him? Sad I do not trust the world!
He was contacted by news orgs, didn’t deny it was him, confirmed her affair, and denied that he’d said anything disparaging about Kristi to the online lady friends.
When he was sitting behind her at the congressional hearings and seemed a little smug while they brought up Kristis affair, I thought he must have his own activities going on. I would’ve never guessed this.
I’m not a fan of outing people or kink shaming, but, as governor of SD, Noem signed despicable legislation that targeted trans kids in particular. She is such a vile person, I hope her dog’s ghost leaked the story.
@yankeedoodles,
It is a myth that the early Nazi movement was mostly a “homosexual” bondage society. You really need to do some research about the subject. The Nazis murdered gay people en masse locked them away in concentration camps and classified them as a threat to the state. There were some gay people in the ranks, but not in any way that would support your statement. This idea about them being a bunch of gays was originally brought about by the political opponents of the Nazis in the early 20’s and 30’s. There was one big wig, Ernst Röhm, who was murdered in 34. His murder was used by Hitler to purge gay people from society. There will always be some gay people supporting a terrible regime (look at Richard Grenell in the current administration) but that doesn’t make them the core of the movement itself. I’ve grown weary of this misconception of my community. The truth matters, even close to 100 years later. The pink triangle tells the true story of gays under Nazi control.
The truth lies somewhere between your assertions and those of the previous commentator. There were ultra masculine Nazis just like there are today and they were welcome within the movement while it was growing until enough power was attained and they became inconvenient.
This is amazing. My husband, whose federal career was ruined by Crusty Gnome, is enjoying this news.
The Daily Mail is finally doing the Lord’s work.
God knows I hate the Fail, but at least they are finally putting their investigative skills to good use.
I don’t think they dug this up on their own. It was leaked to them. My #1 suspect is Stephen Miller who Noem torched on the way out the door. It’s also a cautionary tale to the rest of the regime that there is obviously kompromat on them.
I read that one of his online partners is an immigrant (possibly not fully legal?) who was disgusted by his wife and the DHS. She’s apparently the source. The timing is a little too good to be true, but 🤷🏼♀️. Might just be the paper trying to protect the source from backlash.
Miller is not that smart, he’s more looking for loopholes in laws, like fire you the day before your pension vests type stuff.
It doesn’t seem like Bryon is hurting anyone with his kink/fetish and so to that I say to each their own. I also do feel sympathy for him while wondering if he didn’t secretly want this to be exposed or was just totally delusional about sharing what he shared and thinking his online “friends” wouldn’t cash in on him.
On the other hand how do we reckon with a group of people that put one reality forward as being right and pure and lethal – and demonize and threaten the legal rights of people for being who they are and living their lives while not endangering anyone?
If it takes airing the secret lives of some of these people if only to show their hypocrisy, maybe that’s what it takes? To show that the line they want to be perceived as a wall between us and them is in fact paper thin. The false hierarchy that serves as the foundation of their justification for taking away human rights and treating people the way they do should be exposed, though I don’t know if it will help erode their power.
i have no sympathy for him at all. he knowingly congregates and hangs out with people who have weaponized their hate against people just like him. either he wanted to be exposed, like you said, or he’s a massive idiot, he didn’t care about exposure, or he thought he’d be protected if found out. none of that matters to me. i save my sympathy for people who are in very real physical danger because of what his party has done, said and enacted. just to be clear, this isn’t about his kink-live and let live as long as it’s legal and safe. it’s about the hypocrisy and the damage he’s done. at the end of the day, he’s a rich, white guy. he’ll be embarrassed and maybe blacklisted or shunned. but he’ll be fine.
Agree. It is his party who weaponizes othering.
These hypocrites ruin lives because they can’t deal with their own fetishes and kinks. No sympathy for him or Crusty, they can drag them both to hell and back.
Yeah I don’t care what people do with other consenting adults generally speaking.
But the husband of one of the main faces of hatred of this administration is cross dressing and engaging in these videos and such?? This administration has painted people who are drag queens or cross dressers as sexual deviants and her husband is one?
She deserves all the backlash/criticism/mockery she is getting right now.
And she totally knew despite feigning shock and horror.
Of course she knew!
I rarely have anything nice to say about the Mail but Bravo to them for digging into this and making it public. As for Barbie ICE, I don’t have any tots or pears left, they’ve all gone towards those whose lives she’s ruined.
That explains that terrible boob job she has and all the terrible face work. She’s trying to look like those women.
I was going to say the same thing.
Eh, I don’t think THIS explains it. I think she has been estranged from her husband for a loooong time and doesn’t care what he’s into. I think she did all of her plastic surgery for her own political ambitions (to please Trump, MAGA, etc.). Oh, and also to please scum like Lewandowski.
Agree! I doubt her husband crosses her mind most days.
There is no way on god’s green earth that this was a surprise for the Big Orange Turd – he’s an inveterate gossip and apparently relished the disgusting details of Noem/Lewandowsi’s affair.
No, this just proves that it’s now open season on Kristi the puppy killer. The MAGAs will gleefully release all of the dirt they’ve accumulated on her now. She is only useful to them as a punching bag and scapegoat, or I suppose as an example for any white house toadies who might be wavering in their loyalties.
Oh they have definitely kicked her to the curb, and I agree they knew all this before hand.. still doesn’t mean that we can’t enjoy her downfall.. now for the rest of them because all these people have skeletons in their closet and most are a lot worse than a husband who cross dresses.
For real! Enough with the salacious skeletons in everybody’s closets. F*ck all the couches you want! Wear all the fake boobs you like! Let the authoritarian white supremacists have their kinks. It’s time to get to the skeletons that expose why everyone is staying in thrall to the fascist Cheeto. Tell us about the skeletons that explain why even a tiny bloc of Republicans won’t move to impeach this clearly law-breaking president.
🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 Yes!
Speaking of open season on the puppy killer, I think if someone were to put her face on dog poop bags or a pooper scooper, those would sell like hotcakes.
Sadly I don’t think there are Kristy Noem dog poop bags yet, however there are Donald Trump dog poop bags. I know this because I ordered them and they are glorious. Even the box they’re packaged in is hilarious, let alone the bags themselves. And they are eco-friendly! I gift them to all of my friends who have dogs. Not sure I can put a link in here but they sell them on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Poop-Bags-Dog-Presidential-Outdoor/dp/B0G4MJX2DL
Sending prayers 😂
Lol
In the words of Lushious Massacr, “BRICK!”
I’ll pray that he gets a decent breastplate. These people can’t even do their own kinks properly, FFS.
Creature! Lol I love her so much.
THOTS and bears.
So funny. The best part is his skewed nipples.
I can’t wait for the South Park take on this.
And today boys and girls, we have another fun chapter in that new best seller, the posthumous book, Cricket’s Revenge. RIP Cricket. 🐕🐕🐕
@Giddy. Cricket’s Revenge: I must read that book!
Liz Winstead joked at No Kings that she thought Cricket killed herself rather than live with Noem, and that she rescued the goat from Noem too.
Kristi herself may have outed hubby to get sympathy rather than scorn for her affair. Or revenge on her in-laws for the recent articles about the loyal, long-suffering husband.
I will never kink shame, but her and her husband going after people who are not Christians can pound sand for real. I am sure MAGA is having a meltdown.
I literally laughed for a minute at this – WHAT!!??
These MAGAts are the biggest bunch of shameless hypocrites.
What an embarrassment for ICE Barbie, now we know why she was so frustrated with her life she had to create an alternate gun-toting reality and shoot puppies (instead of her cross-dressing husband?)
Total cringefest…
It’s always projection with these folks.
Well. This wasn’t on my bingo card for 2026. She is a money laundering, corrupt con who gleefully committed crimes against humanity and stole from tax payers. She needs locked up with everyone else financing and embiggening the tangerine terror. This deflects from mango 2.0’s corrupt administration. Warmongering Lindsey Graham wandering around Disney is much more horrifying than consenting adults participating in paid kink. The president is a ped#ophile. Release the Epstein files.
Perhaps I need to get to SpecSavers and my eyesight tested again but WHAT is the appeal of Corey Lewandowski?!?!?! I know he’s just as repulsive as the rest of them but he appears to be some sort of stud in the crowd.
Interesting that the news came out on her last day. Almost like it was planned maybe. Also just to point out CNN is going full maga. Felon47 was greeted by loud boos and cheering at Kennedy Center. They only report the cheers trying to block out the jeers that were all reported last night on multiple news sites.
I won’t kink-shame most people, but yeah, I’ll make an exception in this instance.
Was thoroughly enjoying the jokes on Bluesky about the oddly placed nipples on Bryon’s balloon boobs — including one wag who quipped, in reference to his fake boobs, “Will Kristi shoot those puppies now?”
The speculation is that this story is meant to distract from Lewandowski directing blame for Alex Pretti’s killing to Stephen Miller. What a tangled web they weave …
Well done Mail. Now release the Gridr accounts of every GOP member who consistently supports anti LGTBQ legislation, attacks Trans people, and talks about traditional values.
The header pic is just – Geez Louise the Khloe Kardashian hair the overinflated lips (again I know I always point this out but it is really next level sociopathic/diabolical/demonic to set goals for your department that have the aim of torture, murder, erasure, disappearances, harm, rape for POC, all the while appropriating the features of the very POC who are on the receiving end of this harm). Absolute sociopath and it shows you the degree to which many of these policies are rooted in jealousy – this has been the case for 400 years.
Have the year and life you voted for dog murdering bitch! We can’t wait to watch your Nuremberg trial in Canada.
KKKristi’s performative femininity is as drag as any drag queen, but much less imaginative or well executed.
Imagine the time and money she spends on her appearance, just to end up with a cheap looking dry-ass wig, gravel skin, and those tragic eyebrows.
Also, MAGA acting concerned about being vulnerable to blackmail is hilariously performative. They are all sickos and pervs and are all blackmailing each other 24/7, I’m sure, not to mention the foreign governments in on the game.
I mean. Apparently at the last Republican convention the Grindr site was so overloaded it crashed. Make of that what you will. LOLOLOLOLOL.
I think they made an outage happen this past weekend with CPAC too.
… because I’m sure prayers will help, right?
explains a lot, dunnit?
I find it ironic that she’s horrified and embarrassed by this. but not having a long term affair with Lewandowski and responsible for destroying lives and killing people. And pets. She’s just more filth and I hope she’s writhing in pain. I do feel bad the kids.
I’m so delighted by this…I’m actually judging myself much more that I am Bryon!
Kristi’s not emasculating, she’s enboobulating!
You made me spit up my coffee!! Amazing comment.
When Noem was governor of South Dakota she sure did make her anti-LGBTQ position known. Banning transgender athletes from women’s sports and she also signed a bill into law that allowed people, based on their religious beliefs, to deny LGBTQ people service.
She knew. She absolutely knew.
It’s prolly why she was so brazen with Lewandowski.
Not kink shaming, but it’s also why she’s so into the costumes…
It’s like Christmas came early! It doesn’t always happen but sometimes the trash does take itself out.
Doesn’t say much for the vetting process of the trump cabinet. 🙄 And absolutely yes! It’s the hypocrisy of it all! MAGA dines out on their hatred of cross-dressing, drag, LGBTQIA+, etc., etc., but sex trafficking of children? Cool. 😡
Hey, wait a minute, he PAID to do this? Did any of our tax dollars go toward his little fetish? I wonder if that will come out in the investigation of Noem’s abuse of the contracting system to pay for her dress-up excursions.
Truth really is stranger than fiction.
I hope Trump fires her from his Latin American despotic-themed Shield of America. Of course, to him and Maga, shooting a puppy is far better than having a cross-dressing husband. You can prove your toughness by killing, but the sexist strain in Maga would have to ask, “What aren’t you giving your husband at home that he has become a degenerate? It would be her fault for emasculating him to that degree–that he even dresses as a woman! She’s wearing the pants in the family! Now, do I accept blaming women for the “failures” of their husbands? Obviously not, but for this bitch, I’d make an exception. Fire her!