Robert Pattinson stars as “Vesty McSparklepants”

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This is one of those posts about nothing. I just fell in love with these photos of Robert Pattinson on the Budapest set of Bel Ami on Thursday. I know you people hate me for hating on actors’ costumes, but what the sparkly hell is this? Yes, it’s a period film, but did people in the olden days really dress up like Mr. Vesty McSparklepants? This vest looks so… cheap. And not period costume cheap either. It’s more like, “Dude, it’s 1991 and I had to go to the mall to rent this vest with the tux for the junior prom. Now let’s bust a move to Vanilla Ice!”

And do you see how they’ve got the Edward Cullen grey makeup on him? Or is that grey color just his natural skin tone? The boy looks a corpse. A corpse on the way to the junior prom in a cheap vest.

By the way, Sparkles and Kristen Stewart have been on separate continents now for several weeks, if not a full month. Trouble in Vesty paradise? I read yesterday (although I can’t find the damn story now) that Kristen is very “moody” and it’s driving Vesty away. If he can’t handle her moods, how will he be able to handle it when sh-t gets real? I’ll tell you, the only thing this boy has in the world is his vest. VEST. That is all.

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Sparkles in Budpest on April 8, 2010. Credit: INFphoto.com.

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15 Responses to “Robert Pattinson stars as “Vesty McSparklepants””

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  1. Dorothy says:

    Yeah he looks like crap. I just watched New Moon last week and I am ashamed to say i liked it . But I am totally team Jake, man that kid has a great body. Alas I am WAY too old to be even thinking these thoughts…

  2. Sarah says:

    “The only thing this boy has in the world is his vest.” — THANK you Kaiser, I needed the laugh this morning.

  3. Pont Neuf says:

    I think the costume is nice enough – only on someone who is naturally elegant, and doesn’t look like a malnourished little child playing “adult” dress up.

    Also, Mr Pattinson always looks like a pale lizard with a greasy wig on. Why anyone ever considered him to be anywhere near handsome, is beyond my comprehension.

  4. Other Laura says:

    Kristen is very “moody”???? How does that compare to her all the other times?

    And water is wet and the sky is blue. Good luck to Sparkles, hahaha

  5. An23tom says:

    They are aging him on purpose. He’s character is in his 30′s.

  6. mel says:

    Kristen and moody?

    That’s her second name. She’s always emo depressed for no reason and looks bitchy.

  7. Aitch says:

    Oh I love period pieces.
    I think An23 answered my question: He hasn’t been looking too good in the photos taken on set–including these. I was thinking that in the the film– he will look totally hot.

  8. city says:

    the dark circles around his eyes make me think that maybe he’s on something – but maybe it’s just makeup? you are right about the vest.

  9. Whitey Fisk says:

    Is “Vesty McSparklepants” as funny as I think it is or have I just had too much caffeine this morning?

    I have read and re-read “…did people in the olden days really dress up like Mr. Vesty McSparklepants?” about ten times just to properly absorb it.

    Funny, funny stuff. Thanks Kaiser.

  10. jdao says:

    Omg I ♥ all the articles about Sparkles! Hilarious…

  11. Mel says:

    LOL! Kaiser I loved your take on this. Super funny. I really don’t think much of Kristen Stewart…horrible actress and not so attractive. Sparkles, on the other hand is quite dreamy (Ya, I know I know I know, he’s an ACTOR…his character Edward is NOT REAL. I keep trying to tell myself these things, let me just ride this fairy tale wave just for a little while longer.

  12. call-in says:

    my little sister said the word “sparkles” the other day and i immediately assumed she was talking about rpatz. she was really referencing actual sparkles. kaiser has redefined a word in my vocabulary.

  13. She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named says:

    Kaiser, too, too funny! :) thanks

  14. dagnytaggart says:

    Kaiser, did you catch Vesty in Little Ashes? The trailer on IMDB alone will make you laugh…Poofy McPointyStash!

  15. lucas says:

    well if you believe the tabs with their very careful no geo markers photos, the two were together this weekend.
    that said, why in hell, if they are a couple, has neither of them said it ever. and why has no one gotten a photo to support all the alleged kissing etc. I don’t buy it. Friends sure, with benefits once or twice,perhaps. offscreen couple to match their onscreen, nope. and I think they aren’t denying it because they know all the obsessed Twihard fans that think they are their characters won’t believe it so why bother