Demi Moore will invade every single media outlet in the span of one month, all to promote what seems like a supporting role in the comedy The Joneses, also starring David Duchovny. The Joneses was supposed to be out last year, but was mysteriously pushed back for some reason (perhaps because it sucked – we’ll never know). Anyway, Demi has already appeared on Harper’s Bazaar and Elle UK and given countless interviews in which she barely if ever spoke about the movie, so it’s not like she really cares.

Her latest interview comes in Parade Magazine, and some of the quotes are pretty much classic delusional Demi. Like this one: “I think that laughter and smiling are one of the best antidotes to aging that you could possibly have. I think that, in general, I pretty much think of myself as still being, like, five.” Demi Moore has the mind of a 5 year old. Makes sense. And I’m sure “laughter” made her face so tight. “Laughter” being some new name for Botox and plastic surgery. Oh, and this gem: “I guess I’m not ready to be a legend.” Really? Because I guess you haven’t done enough good work to be a legend. Here’s more:

Coming to terms with conspicuous consumption.
“There’s nothing wrong with wanting things. It’s just making sure that the stuff we acquire doesn’t define us. I think we are born with that drive to want. It’s when that becomes a measure of the value of ourselves that it goes askew, that’s where we get confused. Having things is OK. It just can’t become the end game.”

Being in bed with David Duchovny.
“On the one hand, it’s very practical because you’ve got the camera and you’re trying to keep your body in the right places. But it’s still very personal and intimate and thereby awkward in the same way as when you meet somebody new and end up in bed with them. I always find bedroom scenes very trying.”

Overcoming her inhibitions.
“I certainly have mine. Sometimes playing a role or posing for a picture is about getting rid of some of them. I remember I was driven by my inhibitions to want to do Striptease. The major issue for me was not taking my clothes off, but dealing with why, in our puritanical society, we look down on women who do it for a living.”

The secret to looking young.
“I don’t know if there is any particular secret, but there is one thing that I’ve thought of recently. I think that laughter and smiling are one of the best antidotes to aging that you could possibly have. I think that, in general, I pretty much think of myself as still being, like, five. Maybe that’s why my Twitter picture is of me at five. That’s how I feel. I’m just still trying to figure it all out myself.”

Knowing when not to tell all.
“In real life, there’s the truth that I’m not saying aloud about myself and my own relationship. So I guess when it comes to keeping secrets, for me, it’s really yes and no. I think there’s a difference between privacy and secrecy.”

Ashton told me he believes in “whole truth” in marriage.
“I guess I would agree with him in terms of a romantic relationship, not that it isn’t also true in our friendships too. But, it depends on what you mean by ‘the whole truth.’ I think I know what Ashton means by it, so I would agree.”

What’s more important than being famous?
“There’s a price that you pay for having some fame. But nothing that is written about us has anything to do with the reality of our lives. Forget fame, I’m thrilled with the success I’ve had. I’m thrilled to have been able to create goals for myself and achieve them. I set goals for myself in everyday life, not just in my career. Some days, my goal can be just getting to the dry cleaner.”

Let’s hear it for sisterhood.
“I think women have to stop judging other women. They need to be more understanding. As women, I think we have an important role to respect and encourage each other. Isn’t that a goal of feminism? We should break through our limitations. It happens to me every time I play a character. Sometimes it’s a confirmation of myself. Sometimes it’s a new discovery.”

Don’t call her a Hollywood legend.
“When you’re living, you don’t ever even think of yourself in terms of that word. I guess I’m not ready to be a legend. In the end, if you’re fortunate enough to have a career that spans a long time, there’s gonna be some crap mixed in with the good stuff. You just hope that, overall, you’ve been true to yourself. At the end of the day, I hope that what I leave behind has been authentic and honest, and in some way that I can keep trying to give back more than I’ve been given.”

[From Parade]

The “whole truth” marriage stuff is interesting. Despite my complaints about Demi, I have always bought that she and Ashton really care about each other and work on their marriage and everything. Despite rumors that Demi is jealous of Ashton paying attention to Kim Kardashian, that is. But I’ll also buy that Demi thinks like a 5 year old, while simultaneously being a legend in her own mind.

Here are some photos of Demi in Haiti this week. She’s traveling with Artists for Peace and Justice. Olivia Wilde and Gerard Butler are in there too: