While football has never been more popular in America, it feels like the NFL – as an organization – has never been less popular. While I have strong objections to many football-related and football-player-related shenanigans from the NFL, one of my biggest problems is that more often than not, the NFL screws the pooch when it comes to booking the Super Bowl Half-Time act. It feels like they’re going off a musical-popularity time table that is at least three years out of date. They rarely get it right, and if they do stumble, ass-backwards, on a good Half Time act, it’s usually several years too late.
With that in mind… the 2016 Super Bowl Half-Time act has been announced: it’s Coldplay. Coldplay, because they have a new album which is absolutely terrible. Because their first single off their new album is possibly the most dreadful piece of sonic bulls—t of the year. Because Chris Martin is still “hot” enough to score America’s Farty Sweetheart Jennifer Lawrence, right?
Set your “Clocks,” because Coldplay is set to be the 2016 Super Bowl Halftime headliner! The British rock band, which features Chris Martin, Guy Berryman, Jonny Buckland, and Will Champion, has signed on to perform at the annual sporting event’s 50th year, multiple sources confirm exclusively to Us Weekly. Insiders add that 2013 performer Bruno Mars will also be involved in the show in some capacity, as will other “friends of the group.” Despite previous reports, Maroon 5 and Taylor Swift are not scheduled to take the stage at this time.
This is what I mean about the Half-Time show never being timely. Taylor Swift still hasn’t performed at a Half-Time show. Ever. And she’s one of the biggest things in music. Which means they’ll probably ask her to do it in five years. You know who else has never performed at a Half-Time show? Kanye West. Rihanna. Cher. Incidentally, Maroon 5 has never played the Half-Time show, not that I’m complaining, but their middling “rock” seems like it would be right up the NFL’s alley. Blake Shelton has never played the Super Bowl, come to think of it. Dolly Parton hasn’t either. Sh-t. Now I want Dolly to do the Half-Time show. OMG. Think about how amazing that would be.
Anyway, back to Coldplay… I just don’t get it. I’m sure they’re promising to bring some guest stars out, but who would really agree to it? Would Rihanna? I don’t see her playing second fiddle to Coldplay when she could just wait a year or two and get the gig on her own. You know Gwyneth Paltrow will be all over this though. She’s telling her friends right now, “Oh, yes, my ex-lover and the father of my children is going to be performing at some major footballer’s rally and he’s just begging me to sing with him, I think I might have to, it will be so darling and quaint.”
Photos courtesy of WENN.
I’m totally fine with Coldplay being the half time show. It will give me time to actually get off the couch.
Just as an FYI re Taylor Swift, as long as she has her contract with Coke, she will never do the “Pepsi” half time show.
Yeah, I’m always kind of surprised people don’t realize that.
Plus, she performed at NYE in 2013 when we were there and I have honestly never seen/ heard a worse performance in my life…from anyone. Everyone is the crowd was looking at each other with wide eyes; it was awful.
Coldplay wouldn’t be my first choice, but Beyoncé and Bruno Mars are supposedly going to be there as well so it may still be pretty good.
See… That’s the thing about ol’ Swifty. She’s business savvy as hell, she can write catchy lyrics, but when it comes to actual musical talent? Nah, not so much. She doesn’t really have a singing voice, at all, and she’s still an awkward 13 year old which translates into her (lack of) stage presence.
As far as the Coldplay choice, wouldn’t it cost less money to put an elevator on stage and let it play its music?
I wonder why not Carrie Underwood over Chris Martin, since she does the NFL song “waitin’ all day for sunday night” (or whatever it’s called). and while they are both Blond and white, at least she’s American… right? eh.
@mp, Carrie does that song, but it is an NBC song. The Super Bowl isn’t on NBC.
I agree though that she makes just as much, if not more, sense.
I agree – Taylor can’t sing, can you imagine how embarrassing the show would be? They would have to have her lip sync it. Has everyone lip synced halftime shows except Prince? I am pretty sure Beyonce, another tepid singer, lip synced, as she always does when the pressure is on. Or even in her concerts. (When I want to chuckle, I watch the video where she fell down the stairs at a concert, but “sang” all the way down. Way to rip off your fans!!)
At least Chris Martin can actually hold a tune.
I think they will put on a good show and the production will be off the charts.
I also don’t think it will be that bad. I know it’s popular to hate on Coldplay but some of their songs from before were actually pretty good. I know some of them, such as Paradise, lend themselves to big productions.
Also I’ve heard Bruno Mars is supposed to be back for an appearance. Possibly Beyonce as well.
THIS! ^^
I’m not ashamed to say iv been to their concerts multiple times and the production is always amazing.. I can picture some very cool use of the stadium and beautiful lighting/special effects (ala Olympic Opening Ceremonies). I will say, they’re the type where you cant just mindlessly jam/dance to any one of their songs, you have to know each song well, the lyrics by heart, so..
Also they’re not bad live either which is my BIGGEST pet-peeve about singers. I’ll watch, i like their “elevator music”.
I like Coldplay.
Not ashamed.
Would love to see them live- closest I’ve gotten is a show or 2 on Palladia!
Don’t hate the new album or the one before it.
They are definitely a band that – like U2- has some strong and loud detractors but I’ve been enjoying them since first hearing “yellow” in Sept 2000 in Milan and I will continue to actually buy their albums and get things done while listening to them.
And as for Chris Martin. Yes, yes I would. All day and all night.
I like Coldplay too. My husband took my daughter and some of her friends to a concert about 5 years ago, and he said they were very good. And we are of the age where we’ve seen Pink FLoyd Animals Tour, the Dead, the Stones multiple times. And he liked the Cold Play concert.
I agree. I think their production values fit in with what the Super Bowl usually puts on.
Their music might be elevator style but if you look up their concerts on Youtube (especially the ones in Paris!), the production values look like they’d be a hit at a Super Bowl venue.
While Taylor Swift is one of the biggest acts in music right now, she’d be a horrible fit. What songs would she even sing that would fit the demographic of the show/audience?
That said, while I think the pick for Coldplay sucks, I had heard they have several artists that were on their new album, including Beyoncé, so maybe they’ll just be lots of guest artists?
The audience is basically 70% of all Americans, including pets, within half a mile of a television, smart phone, or laptop. Super Bowl takes real effort to avoid
I meant it’s mostly adults. And while yes, I’m sure Taylor has plenty adult fans, I think mostly her demographic are teens and children.
Still, Swift does not scream Football. If it were a pop-warner game then yes, she would fit right in.
The point of that performance is to boost viewing by bringing in the demo that doesnt care for football. Why do you think the last five years have had Madonna, Bruno Mars, Beyonce, and Katy Perry? Taylor Swift would fit right in with this crowd. As would Coldplay of 10 years ago actually (they are just washed up at this point).
it’s especially hard to avoid this year in San Francisco, even though the stadium is 50 miles away. Streets will be closing for a week for a “Super Bowl city” and highrise buildings wrapped in Super Bowl logos. it’s unseemly.
and Coldplay and that headache-inducing new song is a horrible choice. If we’re bending over backward to welcome sports fans, even building a new stadium–how about a Bay area singer? Chris Isaak lives around here somewhere and is suitably dated, or how about Journey? Counting Crows? what’s left of the Doobie Brothers?
I avoid it completely. Don’t like football and have no desire to watch it. Even when we would go to other houses for Super Bowl parties, i managed to avoid watching the game.
Well, when you’re hoping for guests to make an appearence in the hopes won’t be THAT bad then there is definetly something wrong with the currently main attraction, don’t you think? If CP was a good pick, no big guests would be needed. It’s not like CP is a low key or new band. They have been around forever, the problem is that they haven’t delivered good music for awhile so people aren’t happy. They can’t make a good show on their own so they need big guests. This says a lot about the quality fo their work recently especially the new album. It’s bad.
i don’t understand. coldplay haven’t done anything successful in quite some time, why are they still a thing??
I think they’re still fairly commercially successful. But they’re SO BAD. I don’t really get how they pick the halftime shows? It’s consistently pop music, right? Like are a lot of NFL fans who are down with pop music? Everyone I know is a country fan. I just feel like Coldplay is about as popular of a choice as Barry Manilow would be.
I think they stick with pop bc it is indeed “Pop” and Top 40, as in, the most widely- listened-to music. While it’s not everyone’s flavor, they are going to pick artists that have the most general mass appeal. Seeing as it is the 50th anniversary game, it would have been cool IMO if they had chosen some classic acts: The Eagles, Journey, etc. They could have even chosen a big artist to represent each decade in American music: 70s, 80s, 90s, 00s, 10s, to showcase our pop culture history while choosing artists that would appeal to everyone on some level. I love Coldplay and look forward to the performance, but I think the NFL had a chance to do something really interesting this time around and kind of dropped the ball (pun intended).
Actually “Rap” is the new “Pop” if you’re going by this years Billboard, iTunes, and Spotify statistics. It is the most widely popular music genre at the moment and predicted to be 100% in 2016.
The definitions of Rap & Pop have also changed significantly in the last 5 years.
Country music is also on the rise and should continue in 2016. If anything traditional Pop is on the track to be replaced by the increasing “Alternative/Hipster R&B” (think The Weeknd, Fetty Wap) and “Bro-Country/ Country Pop” (think Thomas Rhett, Florida Georgia Line)
Did Taylor take over this blog today? Whats with all the complaining that she isn’t getting all the accolades?
In other news that top photo is so weird…
Boring!
Extremely so. Watching paint dry would be more entertaining.
I like Coldplay, but for a Super Bowl halftime show? Boring!
Agreed, I like some of their music when I’m in the right mood for it, but I think the superbowl half time needs more energy.
I’m not a country music fan, but why don’t they ever go get one of the big country names to do something?
Lame! Sell outs!
Not amazing, for sure, but it may be good for a chuckle. Chris Martin can’t sing, or dance, to save his life. But I wouldn’t be surprised if Uncle Jay popped up on stage. And the instagrams and tweets from Goopy will be giving us gossip gold for at least a good hour. Bet there will be a picture from backstage, captioned something like, “Backstage at the SuperBowl watching my baby daddy and their Uncle Jay crush it like it has never been crushed before. #bestdaddy #unclesrule #mykidsarelucky #hiphop4eva #rocknroll4eva #notincheapseat$ #worldpeace #checkoutgoopthisweek #allaboutthesuperbowl
Accurate.
Goop can do her version of the Cee Lo Green song .. forget you.. maybe her dance moves too?
Oh gosh, yes. Trust, Goop will make it all about Goop.
Oh yeah, like a rehash of what she did on Glee? OMG cringe worthy.
No. Just… No. They are a horrible choice.
I think Coldplay seems to fit the demographic of an NFL watcher for the most part so they’ll be fine. I saw a video of one of their performances and it was far more energetic and compelling than I would have guessed. Chris Martin really does have a not inconsiderable stage presence.
But I agree their latest single is terrible. The first time I heard it I was embarrassed for them.
Boring and stupid
I’d like to see a mashup of Country, R&B, Indie Rock, Gospel, Rap and maybe a little Bhangra or K-pop to reflect the diversity of America and the diversity of the Super Bowl audience. Just about everyone watching would be confused about some of the performers (as my Mom was with Bruno Mars a couple of years ago), but they might come away loving a new type of music.
I’d like to see Dolly Parton, Bruno Mars, Macklemore/Ryan Lewis, Sia/David Guetta and…Bon Jovi!
Prince for ALL the half-time shows.
The Best Ever.
DONE. <3
Bring back Left Shark!
Lol. Maybe Coldplay can hire him.
Boring and stupid.
And honesty, for those of you saying they fit the demographic of football watchers, are you kidding me?
Why, was Nickelback booked?? /s
There are so many other bands/acts that would have been a much better choice, yet this boring vanilla band gets the gig? Goopy will attend her first ever Superbowl just to get camera time, I’ll bet.
I think it is a good choice!
Ugh. Oh well I’ll plan to give my son a shower at half-time
I’ve never watched a Super Bowl so I don’t care.
The biggest names in music are doing just fine without performing in the Superbowl, so they don’t NEED the exposure such an appearance would bring. I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of the people mentioned as better alternatives just said, “Oh, hell no” and went back to counting their many monies.
I have to agree with others that Coldplay do put on a pretty amazing live show. I was at iTunes this morning and their album is at #1 so I don’t think they’re washed up yet.
No opinion on Coldplay at the football game. Just that picture with the tongue out. No no no no. How does he get all these beautiful women?
Because he’s rich, famous and powerful. Possibly they think he’s talented too. He had admitted he couldn’t get a girlfriend before he got famous.
I LOATHE Coldplay. Like cannot stand them for one single minute and never have. I have never gotten their ‘music’ and I think that they are extremely boring. I can’t see them doing a half time show.
Yes, one day Swifty will make a great half-time artist. Rihanna is TERRIBLE live and cannot carry a tune in a bucket (I’ve seen her twice, it’s bad) so she would be a horrible idea as a half time performer. I don’t know who would have been a better fit than Coldplay – pretty much anyone. Maroon 5 is pretty good and they are upbeat and danceable so I could see that…
Ugh maroon 5 are terrible, their songs are basically bubblegum crap dressed up as a serious band.
Not a fan of any of these people but chlkeI would rather watch Rihanna and Coldplay then Taylor and maroon 5.
Wow, guess so. Who got yelled at by don bushwald?
First year that I will probably skip the halftime show, unless they announce someone way more awesome to be joining them. I can’t stand Coldplay.
Every year I hope for the halftime show to be Weird Al, and every year I am sad. It’s bad enough my team’s QB can’t stay healthy and we are pretty much done for the season, but no Weird Al again? He’s be AMAZING.
I thought they were going to bring back Bruno Mars again? I thought he killed it. That was one of the only recent halftime shows I actually sat all the way through. And Prince. Because… Prince.
Oh Prince was amazing!
Major suckage.
I like Coldplay and they’re great live (seen them twice), but they’ve been on a downward slide since Viva La Vida in my opinion. I LOVE their first three albums and they wouldn’t fit at all at a Super Bowl Halftime Show as they’re a bit darker and in some cases quite minimalist. Their later work is pretty stadium-rock but it’s just… meh. I hope they do well, but my expectations aren’t high.
Great comments today!
My answer: if it’s Coldplay, then it’s boring. Easy!
Coldplay??? I prefer for Foo Fighter or Van Halen do SB
I think Coldplay will surprise a lot of people. They won’t struggle to put on a massive production with all the dazzling effects that the Super Bowl demands. Don’t like the music? Push mute and enjoy the kaleidoscope!
I can’t take them seriously after the AMA gorilla business. I say that as somebody who liked their older music and can tolerate the newer stuff. I want to know who gave the green light for that performance choice because all it did was make it all the more baffling how and why women let Christ Martin inside them.
Putting on a halfway decent Superbowl show would do them a world of good for image.
Their first album was so good, it’s so disappointing to see what they’ve become.
boring as 3 day old oatmeal. Why are they having a British band and not an American singer or band up…it’s an American sport. If they had a halftime show in TheUK or equivalent in their country during the biggest sport event of the year..it would make total sense for them to play..but we have so many great country music bands…pop groups who would just as good. Kanye West. Eminem.
Boring…their new album puts me to sleep. It’s actually been the only thing that’s worked of late. All I have to do is turn it on, and boom I’m down for the count. All their stuff sounds the same now. I know I”m going to get lots of “feedback,” but I feel about them the way I’ve come to feel about U2. Nothing new. Yawn. Gotta go back to bed for another snooze! Press play and….ZZZZZZZ