Michelle Rodriguez seems hell-bent on her whole “I’m the victim” “the system is the problem” line of thought when it comes to her DUI conviction. Michelle has a pretty involved rap sheet that began long before her most recent DUI arrest in Hawaii while she was filming “Lost.” In 2002, she was arrested for assault after getting into a physical fight with her then-roommate. The roommate refused to press charges. In 2003, she was charged with eight misdemeanors including hit and run and a DUI. She pleaded no contest to the hit and run, DUI, and driving with a suspended license. Want to know how much time she spent in jail? A grueling 48 hours. She also had to do community service in two New York City morgues, and finished a three-month alcohol program. As a result, Rodriguez was placed on probation for three years. So all she had to do at that point was just not drink and drive and run people over. Sounds fairly easy, right? Well apparently not so much.

Between August 24th and October 1st 2005, Rodriguez was pulled over three times in Hawaii for speeding, and given tickets for doing 83 mph in a 55 zone, 90 mph in a 35 zone, and 80 mph in a 50 zone. But did that hamper her style? Nope. Because she then decided to outdo herself and drive home (speeding, naturally) after drinking. She was charged with a DUI and eventually pleaded guilty. And you know what really says a lot about her character? Rodriguez chose to pay a $500 fine and go to jail for five days instead of having to do 240 hours of community service. Because isn’t jail always better than doing something good for others?

That arrest was a violation of her previous probation, so Rodriguez was back to jail for the probation violation as well. Though she was sentenced to 60 days in jail, she only spent a matter of hours in what I can only assume was the lady’s shower, before she was released due to overcrowding. Rodriguez also had to serve 30 days of community service and work with Mothers Against Drunk Driving, along with wearing an alcohol-detecting ankle monitor, which she repeatedly bitched about publicly, comparing the experience to George Orwell’s novel “1984.”

But Michelle’s hatred of helping others has hampered her again: it appears she hasn’t actually done all of her community service, and hasn’t done her required alcohol education program.

“Rodriguez went to court Friday to answer to the latest claims by the city attorney’s office, which said the former ‘Lost’ actress submitted a document stating she performed community service on Sept. 25, 2006, but later admitted she was actually in New York City that day. If she is found to have violated terms of her probation, Rodriguez could face between 477 to 537 days in county jail and a $2,000 fine. Rodriguez, 29, kept quiet in court as her attorney, Richard Beale, argued that she performed 30 days of community service and said ‘a clerical error’ caused the discrepancy in the paperwork.

“Superior Court Judge Daviann L. Mitchell granted Beale’s request to call two county sheriff’s supervisors who signed off on her community service forms to testify. A hearing was set for Oct. 12. In August, the judge found that Rodriguez had not completed a required alcohol monitoring program and ordered her to perform 30 days of road maintenance work. On Friday, the judge noted she had not completed the program or the maintenance work.

“Beale said she is making progress, but the judge admonished Rodriguez to take her probation more seriously. ‘I’m not impressed with your completion schedule,’ she said. ‘There were 55 people here in court today and all but very few have completed their responsibilities. They work on much less flexible schedules than you do.’”

[From Yahoo! News]

I hope Michelle Rodriguez goes back to jail. I bet she hopes so too. (In case you’re missing all the snide references – or just don’t follow Michelle Rodriguez with the macabre fascination that I do – she’s a sorta-closeted lesbian. Hence all the women’s prison and women’s shower jokes. Because I’m sophisticated like that). She’s talked a lot about how ridiculous and unfair the system is, and has written on her blog ad nausea about it. Honey, if you don’t like it, stop drinking. Stop hitting other cars and leaving the scene. Stop speeding when you knock too many back and decide it’s a great idea for you to drive home… really, really fast. Then you won’t feel like a victim of the system so much… and everyone else won’t feel like they’re about to be your hit and run victim. See how everyone wins!

Picture Note by Jaybird: Here’s Michelle at the Miami Vice World Premiere in July, 2006. Header image of Michelle at the Los Angeles Municipal Court in Downtown Los Angeles on Friday. Images thanks to Splash Photos.