I became aware of billionaire biohacker Bryan Johnson (yeesh, it’s like Beach Blanket Babylon, only not fun) when CB covered him a couple months ago. Johnson made his kabillions creating a payment startup that was bought by PayPal, and now his life’s work is working to extend his life for… ever. No really, his self-declared catchphrase is “Don’t Die,” also the name of a Netflix documentary on him that came out last year. Anyway, he merited CB’s coverage for bravely coming forth to reveal that despite being Mr. Anti-Aging with an army of physicians and a literal fortune at his disposal, his autoimmune gastritis still went undiagnosed for years. Johnson’s emphasis was more on the diagnosis than the irony; that’s what we’re here for. Well, continuing in his streak of irony deficiency [pause for laughter], Johnson was at an exclusive “longevity event” in San Francisco. While there, Johnson debuted his newly-adopted sidekick: Katara, an almost-two-year-old Belgian Malinois who was professionally trained to protect Johnson from attackers out to kill him. And wouldn’t you know, Johnson has plans to keep Katara alive with him for eternity. Kinda sweet, fully delusional.

What a ‘longevity event’ looks like: This week, at a longevity event in San Francisco, Katara was a constant presence at Johnson’s side as he cheered on tech workers trying to complete as many push-ups as possible, one metric used to measure their biological age. Later, Katara, who will turn two in October, lay patiently at Johnson’s feet as he was interviewed by venture capitalist Sarah Guo. “I get quite a few death threats, and so she is my guard dog,” Johnson explained to Guo. “We go everywhere together, and we have bonded for the past month.”

Lab rat dog: Johnson clarified to Business Insider that he has no plans to launch a company focused on canine health yet. Rather, Katara will be subjected to a version of the rigorous data collection and longevity interventions that he chronicles in great detail for his millions of followers on X and Instagram. “She’s going to become the most measured dog in the world,” he said in an interview. “We’re going to do a whole bunch of longevity therapies on her because dogs are amazing.” Johnson thinks there may be relatively straightforward ways to improve dogs’ health, starting with food. He said most commercial dog food contains much higher concentrations of harmful compounds.

If only human drug testing were as fast as animal testing! “It’s remarkable how much dogs and humans have in common,” he said. “When you read through the literature on dogs, and you just replace humans with dogs, there are so many similarities.” Johnson has often been frustrated by how long it takes for new human treatments to be approved. That is much less of a problem in animals. “The path for drug approval is substantially faster for dogs than humans, so you can get a lot of scientific work done in a shorter period of time,” he said.

Long live dogs: Several startups are already working to extend dogs’ lifespans. Loyal is developing the first FDA-approved longevity and lifespan-extension drugs for dogs, while Rejuvenate Bio is taking a more experimental gene-therapy approach, targeting chronic age-related diseases in animals, such as osteoarthritis, heart disease, and cancer. Johnson does not expect convincing people to improve their dogs’ health to be difficult. As someone who urges people to sleep more and avoid alcohol, he has found that many will prioritize their pets’ well-being over their own. “Humans will oftentimes care for their dogs better than they’ll care for themselves,” he said.

[From Business Insider]

Dude has been a pup parent for all of a month and now he’s an expert. I’ll agree with Johnson on one point: it is common for people to take better care of our floofs than ourselves. Guilty, as charged. But as far as I’m concerned, every other comment Johnson makes here is one red flag after another. A kabillionaire moaning that human drug testing takes too long is dangerous. I sincerely hope it’s just poor phrasing on his part that makes it sound like he’s about to have Katara try out all the experimental drugs and treatments he’s eyeing for himself. Serious question: among the battalion of doctors Johnson works with, is one of them a psychologist? Cause the extent to which he’s made his entire life’s focus about not dying is… something. In a separate Business Insider article about this event, they quoted how Johnson ended the interview: “We all know I’m going to die, but it’s going to be being hit by a bus or choking on broccoli.” It’s like he cannot even fathom dying of old age, and that being a natural process.

Lastly, a separate issue because SF is my hometown: I haven’t visited in 10 years, but these articles confirm to me that I wouldn’t recognize the foggy city. One article begins, “The only topic these days that gets people in San Francisco to stop talking about AI is living forever.” I mean. It’s just. WHAT IS HAPPENING??

Photos credit Netflix and via Instagram