John Mayer obsesses about future wife, takes Xanax, annoys interviewer

John Mayer has a new interview with Best Life Magazine, in which the 30 year-old singer goes on and on about his thoughts on life and fame, to the point that the author calls him a blowhard several times in the article. For as much as Mayer talks at exhaustive length and about how he’s immune to criticism while focusing on how it bothers him, there is one subject he won’t discuss – his childhood.

At first Mayer says that he thinks about the positive attributes of his future wife “all the time.” He revealed that he’s looking for a “yes” woman who won’t give him any shit or ask for much attention or understanding in return. Maybe he’s asking for a gorgeous woman who’s not a drama queen and who is mellow, but I just don’t like him and can’t help but think he wants a robot barbie.

John Mayer on his future wife

“I think about my wife all the time,” says Mayer. “I kind of obsess on it, and what I want to find is a person who can speak those kinds of magic words. I mean ‘No complaints’ is a great way to live. Also, I want a woman who doesn’t hear ‘How are you?’ as ‘I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said ‘No complaints.’ When I find the person I can relate to on that level and who is also a pinup and who also says ‘Can I please take pictures of your ass?’ then I am going to get married to her. That I can promise you.”

[From Best Life Online]

Mayer revealed that he’s worried, though, that his bad reputation, twisted and embellished by the tabloids, will precede him and keep him from landing that sweet perfect woman who will never ask him to deal with any shit whatsoever:

John Mayer on not being able to land his soul mate due to the tabloids

“My fear,” he says, “is that I go up to the girl of my dreams and say, ‘I’m sorry, but I’ve got to say hello to you,’ and she slides the stool back and gets up and walks away, saying, ‘Not for me, Bub. I don’t want anything to do with you.’ And she says that because of something in my past. I mean, I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing. And my past is actually pretty sterling. But when I think about my wife, I worry. I worry about what she thinks when she reads about me in US Weekly. It’s all vapor, nothing, ether. But I worry about it. I worry about what she thinks.”

Mayer said that his personal life is not who he dates or what he does, but that it’s “what happens in my heart and my head.” and adds that “nobody knows what’s going on in my head.” From the length and content of this interview, I would beg to differ.

Interviewer wishes Mayer would shut up
The author is not kind in his assessment of Mayer, and gives the same criticism of his overlong interview that I’ve given of his writing, calling him “a great big overstuffed load of verbiage.” Mayer admits “I’ve always been verbose,” to which the author writes “with that admission, you’d think he might slow down a little. But then off he goes again, full-steam ahead.”

John then talks about how the media circus over his relationship with Jessica Simpson gave him headaches and describes it as this horrible experience.

John talks about Jessica Simpson media circus

“Let me bring you into the mind-set now,” he says. “When you take two people who are trying to get together and relate, that’s already kind of a cluster f–k. But then, with us, there was this whole looming threat. And at a certain point, I got so many tension headaches just from magazine covers. Real tension headaches, from the mention of my name with someone else’s name and how people felt about that. Literal physiological responses where I was like, Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I thought to myself, Are you sure you want to do this? And what I said to myself was, You know what? There are times in your life when there is nobody to confer with but yourself. And you know what? This is my life, and this is a person I want to spend more time with, and I’m not going to let that other vapor get in the way. And I’ll defend that decision till the end.” He pauses, then marches on. “I also want to say about Jessica that I don’t want to talk about her or my experience with her as a dark cloud or something tumorous or cancerous. That’s all perception. It was very comfortable and very soothing. I never went, Gee, I sure would like two or three days away from this.”

Interviewer wishes he would shut up again

It’s interesting the way he spills this last bunch of words. No one here has mentioned cancer or tumors, nothing even close. On the contrary, his time with Simpson seems to have been good for him. But up come these ugly thoughts and images, ushered forth for no apparent reason. It’s as if he doesn’t know when to put a sock in it, and you have to wonder where it comes from, that uncontrollable urge to talk, come hell or high water.

The rest of the interview is more of Mayer masturbating with words, telling us he keeps things private while exposing his every half-baked thought.

When asked about his childhood in tony Fairfield, Connecticut, he doesn’t say much, except that “I think it’s for me in my life a really good idea to close off certain parts of my past.” The author reveals that Mayer’s parents were so concerned about the way he shut out the world in favor of mastering his guitar that they brought him to two psychologists. It’s probably a good thing for Mayer’s career that they couldn’t convince him to give it up, but he could surely benefit from some therapy.

Then Mayer gets to the crux of the matter – that he was still scared of the world when he made it big and that it wasn’t until his relationship with Jessica Simpson that he really decided to get out there. He said he suffered from terrible acne up until a few years ago and that affected his self esteem. It wasn’t until he dealt with everything that went along with dating a celebrity that he realized he had it in him to be one.

Mayer on going from being afraid to talking too much to the press

“I’d been a famous touring musician who had also been a shut-in for a really long time, which was weird,” he says. “But I’d had it really, really good. I had hit song, hit song, hit song. ‘Did you hear about this kid?’ And I’m like, Look at my respect. Look how credible my artistry is. I’m really perfect. I’m really doing it. It’s aces. And you get addicted to cultivating that thing and making it perfect. I’m telling you, man, I’m not f–king with you. But it stopped being perfect the day I said to myself, Wow, my heart is involved in this. The one thing I’d never been in my life is a person without a guitar. I used to be really frightened that if I stopped, it would leave me. But I had to evolve. If I wanted to see Jessica more, I had to grow up. And that’s the day that I grew up. A lot of people say it’s the day I grew down. Too bad. It’s the day I grew up.”

And here’s the part that everyone is quoting today – Mayer said he still suffers from anxiety and keeps Xanax in his pocket at all times. If you got this far, congratulations. I had a hard time reading that whole damn interview and this is my job.

Mayer says he takes Xanax for anxiety

In his early twenties, however, some­thing shifted inside that private little self-created world of his. He won’t say exactly what happened, only that on one specific day, he realized that “you can create dark neighborhoods in your mind as easily as you can create rural wonderlands. And the day I realized that was one of the worst days of my life. It sent me on quite a spin. I went on a bender. An anxiety bender.” Which is why he keeps Xanax in his pocket even now: “Because there are these incidental kinds of loopholes in my brain, where the wires can cross for a second and the hard drive crashes.”

It sounds like Mayer just decided one day to let all those racing thoughts out and that’s why his blog posts and interviews come across as a stream of consciousness. He’s using the press as a therapist, and I guess it’s better than being a shut-in. Maybe he should figure out a way to get out more while not letting everyone be privy to all his conflicting thoughts about life and fame. He doesn’t seem like as much of a dick to me after reading this, he’s certainly self-absorbed and self-important, but it comes off like more of defense mechanism. He really needs to figure things out in his life. Mayer seems to be doing ok compared to a lot of celebrities, but maybe he should learn to parse what comes out of his mouth and save all the soul-searching for his therapist’s couch.

Thanks to Best Life Online for these pictures and the quoted parts of the interview.

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34 Responses to “John Mayer obsesses about future wife, takes Xanax, annoys interviewer”

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  1. journey says:

    doesn’t sound like the interviewer let meyer in on the fact that he wished meyer’d shut up. only after the fact, when he was writing the article up, did he rant about his excessive verbiage.

    and it’d be hard to be an anxiety-ridden, xanax popping sort-of-celeb, sitting there being interviewed by someone radiating hostility. Lord knows when i get nervous i sometimes talk too much. waaayyyy too much! write too much sometimes too!!

  2. Jody says:

    I didn’t realize he suffered from acne, maybe Jessica hooked him up with some free Proactive.

  3. xanax says:

    CB, what the hell is your problem with John?? he is honest & not full of himself like some half-assed “famous” people. I get what he’s explaining. If you don’t understand, don’t sit in judgment.

  4. Celebitchy says:

    I hear you xanax, but he really comes off as a blowhard to me. Read what I wrote, you’ll see what my problem is with the guy.

  5. Lola says:

    I thought highly about him. My roomate in college was actually his friends from days when he was struggling. Going out with Jessica killed him for me. I hope he does not over dose on those anti depressants.

  6. lulu says:

    I am SO glad that this interviewer called John Mayer out on the idiot that he is!!

  7. Bodhi says:

    masturbating with words 😆

    I’ve always thought he is a douchbag beyond compare. Its not that people don’t “understand” him (hes not all that complicated after all) its that he buys into all the hype about him being a sensative soul blah blah blah

  8. Bodhi says:

    Xanax isn’t an anti-depressant, its an anti-anxiety medication. I bet even Xenu gets anxious sometimes

  9. xanax says:

    Okay, CB, I reread the article & your interpitation of him. I can see why he comes off the way he does & maybe I need xanax,but I understand some of the darkness & uncertainty he feels. My best friend is a musician (I’m not;I have no idea how to read a note) but I see alot of similarities in my bf & John & myself. I’ve been divorced & have seen the dark,sad sight of life. Somehow I relate to these types of guys. I think about finding someone too & of course I have a picture in my mind of who I’m looking for. Probably a good idea since I have no plans of being divorced again. John is just venting & trying to let people know what he’s about.

  10. xanax says:

    Sorry, one last thing. It seems as if the interviewer cannot stand John. Then why interview him to just give his own insight on John?? OK, I’m done.

  11. Scott F says:

    I think the interviewer was just saying what 90% of the men in America have been thinking about this guy all along. He’s the kind of douche that corners you at a party and forces you to listen to his theories about solving hunger in the third world for three hours, not because he actually gives a shit, but because he wants you to THINK he gives a shit and is therefor far more sensitive and deep than the rest of us.

    “I know how to be a celebrity. I know how to be a guy on the street. I know how to roll with the punches. I know how to do the whole thing” – For a guy who’s trying to come off as the dark and brooding introvert, he sure seems full of himself.

  12. Celebitchy says:

    Xanax I really appreciate you explaining it to me like that and it does make sense to me from your viewpoint. You’re saying that he’s just being open and honest about what he’s gone through, and you know maybe I’m viewing this guy through the same lens that the writer had. This is a tortured soul who is trying to share some of his reality and instead he’s getting beat down for it.

    To me, he’s someone who has issues and isn’t afraid to talk about them, but I can’t get past his bravado and the way he really comes across like he thinks his issues are all-encompassing or even super interesting to us. It’s like, yes he thinks and feels things deeply, but somehow he doesn’t have perspective on that and thinks his thoughts on all of that are super deep and important. He just really rubs me the wrong way, and seems pretentious in his angst, if that makes sense.

    I do understand the depression and anxiety aspect of it, though, and maybe the way he goes on is just part of that and it’s not my place to judge him.

  13. Celebitchy says:

    haha Scott that’s what I said in an earlier article about Mayer – that he would corner you at a party.

  14. xanax says:

    thanks, CB.

  15. Scott F says:

    CB, sorry for stepping on your toes there! The whole time I was writing that I was thinking “where have I heard someone say something like this before?”

    I guess it’s a common experience though, especially to anyone who’s ever been to college parties. To me, this guy has always stunk of ‘College know-it-all hippy’. Only difference I can spot is that he occasionally gets a haircut.

  16. Bodhi says:

    *shudder* that is a scary scary thought Scott & CB

  17. Loob says:

    Daaaamn. What a douche that guy is!
    I started out laughing and groaning, then very nearly slipped into a coma when his droning on and on didn’t have a break,
    then became nauseous at his self-congratulatory wank-fest.
    I dislike him now even more than I did before.

  18. mollination says:

    I for one am glad that the interviewer didn’t sugarcoat anything. I hate reading kiss-ass-postive-spin articles.

    Good luck to John finding a woman that will put up with his word vomit all day long but who isn’t allowed to do more than smile and say more than “No complaints” in return…..Wait a second, why would he ever let Jessica go? I see the attraction all of the sudden!

    P.S. Vapors

  19. mollination says:

    HAHAHAHA to Scott and CB! You’re both dead-on!

  20. I choose me says:

    I have ambivalent feelings about this guy. One time I think he’s funny and insightful another time I’m thinking dude just STFU. One time I think he’s cute; nice features and countenance then I see his pics in this article (vacant eyes) that I wonder why I ever thought he was attractive. I dunno maybe he’s two people. Or maybe it just the Gemini in me.

  21. Shannon says:

    “I want a woman who doesn’t hear ‘How are you?’ as ‘I would like you to come up with something dramatic now that will allow me to sit in front of you and give you more attention than I would have if you had just said ‘No complaints.’ When I find the person I can relate to on that level…”

    I believe what he’s looking for is a blow-up doll.

  22. Bea says:

    Can you say crazy? What a freak! lol

  23. headache says:

    Shannon, maybe he should get a “real doll”

  24. RC says:

    ok, i agree that he’s kinda pretentious, BUT…
    as a hardcore depressive, anxiety-prone introvert myself, you’re just so gosh-darned excited when someone decides to talk to you that it’s hard not to go on and on – even once it happens a lot, it’s still a bit of a surprise. the way he talks just sounds like a manic stream of consciousness to me – i’ve had more than a few. like all the time. even on meds.
    as for the stuff about his future wife, with all the drama in his head, i can understand how he doesn’t want someone like him. stop making it sound like he wants an automaton and read it again. he just wants a woman who won’t invent problems when she has none. and thinks his ass is hot, which really is not too much to ask.
    I don’t even like him, i think his music is insipid and dumb. but i see a lot of myself in him and i wish people would stop ganging up on him for what is clearly a manifestation of anxious-smart-guy-itis. makes me paranoid about what people say about me 🙂

    p.s. see? verbose!

  25. Alex says:

    RC, you’d sure make a great defense attorney!

  26. Emma says:

    what a wanker!

  27. AC says:

    im not a fan of him. and i c ouldn’t even get through this article… even though it was kinda funny there’s only so much you can take. I just don’t CARE enough about him to read through all that crap. yuck. annoying.

  28. Mairead says:

    Oh f*** I’m John Mayer without Xanax and the geisha obsession

  29. Haylie says:

    This guy has an overblown ego and is becoming more pompous by the day. Is he that special?

  30. John says:

    I don’t understand the hostility towards him. Everyone has a different lens towards the world and it amazes me at the unwarranted resentment some people have towards others that haven’t done anything malicious.

    John Mayer is a beautiful man that makes beautiful music and that’s all that matters.

  31. JaQ says:

    So, a human who thinks out load, in less than ordered thoughts (sometimes). You never did that? As fortune has it there’s no-one around to record you doing it. Seemingly he speaks from the heart and spirit. Look into you, all those who critisize, is it 100% a pretty sight. Would you hold up to such scrutiny? Not me. Certainly he’s the only artist to make me sit-up since Jeff Buckley.Which affords him my respect. AND I would reserve judgement of him on a personal level without having personal contact. It would be too awful to be judged without being known. I’ll shut-up now…”One more thing……”just listen to his music, if you don’t like it,switch off

  32. ALfanofJCM says:

    “I don’t understand the hostility towards him. Everyone has a different lens towards the world and it amazes me at the unwarranted resentment some people have towards others that haven’t done anything malicious.

    John Mayer is a beautiful man that makes beautiful music and that’s all that matters. ” From John above.

    Thank you, John. This is exactly what I was thinking. What has he ever done to any of these people? If you don’t like what he has to say, don’t read his interviews. John is an amazing talent that deals with celebrity in his own way. Who doesn’t do things that annoy people?
    As far as what he wants in a wife, I don’t see it as him wanting a blow up doll. He wants someone that he can relate to on the level of very little to no drama. He wants someone that isn’t going to give him crap about practicing 12 hours a day for months just to prepare for a 8 month tour. He just wants someone who gets the fact that he has a demanding career and he is extremely passionate about it. He wants someone that can enjoy the ride with him, rather than trying to pull him off the ride early.
    Also, bravo JaQ! Hit the nail on the head.
    John Mayer is extremely intelligent, and true, he is verbous. But that is a beauty, not a flaw. He speaks what he feels and speaks from his heart. To anyone that follows him recently, you would know more about him. I think the one thing he wants more than anything is a wife. I give him major kudos for not just settling with the first person that comes along. He is looking for that one person that changes his whole world. I believe when he finds that, we will see a new side to him. One that is even better than the ones we have already seen. And also, did anyone ever critize any of you for looking for your “the one” when you were dating and looking to choose a spouse????
    He knows that he talks alot & that it gets him in trouble sometimes. Anyone who is or ever was a Mayer fan would know that. Just listen to his song,”My Stupid Mouth”.
    In conclusion, JM is an amazing talent. I hope to see him in the music biz for a very long time.

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  34. Katie says:

    John, if you read this: you sound like a guy with a sweet, tender , good heart. Stop talking to these clowns who make money off your talent. Find that perfect girl and be a good hubby and daddy.That means stick and stay no matter what. Under all that glib snark, it sounds like that is what you want most for yourself and that’s who I see emerging. But do get a good therapist and work out your sh*t. Your future wife and kids will be grateful and you will be blessed with a good life and much love- which is what it’s all about, right? You are talented, gorgeous, funny and smart as a whip. Tear it up , baby. And don’t let these bozos tear you down. :)xxoo