Once in my youth, my aunt and I were sitting side-by-side waiting for something — Our pedicures to dry? Our table to be ready? The movie to start? We can’t remember! — when my aunt gently tapped my arm. In response, I gave her arm two taps, she then gave me three, and so on, until I turned to her and said, “Anything can be a game.” I bring up this scintillating tale because the following story out of Marine on St. Croix in Minnesota has real “Anything can be a contest,” energy. Last year, kid siblings Setona and Soren Mahoney were hiking with their mother Leah when they stumbled upon “an unusually straight stick.” Setona suggested, “Maybe we should start a straight stick competition.” And they did. I can’t tell whether I find this to be one of the saddest or simply an ingenious way to entertain kids (who aren’t living through a Dust Bowl). But one thing it is for certain is a success — the whole town got involved, and they just held the second annual Straightest Stick Contest. THE MAYOR WAS THERE.

Get this straight: It’s the time of year in Marine on St. Croix when attention turns to fall colors. But a new tradition has flipped the focus to another part of Marine’s trees. “Let the games begin,” Mayor Kevin Nyenhuis proclaimed after setting up a long table Oct. 3 in Gazebo Park. Soon, children and adults began arriving to register. “It’s our first straight stick competition,” participant Albert Jongewaard said as he clung to a stick taller than he was. “We’re excited to be here.”

Origin story: Setona Mahoney, 10, and her 8-year-old brother Soren scurried about, helping with check-in and taste-testing snacks. Figuratively speaking, the siblings are the sticks that stir this contest. “We were hiking last fall,” their mother, Leah Mahoney, explained, “and the kiddos found an unusually straight stick.” “And then I [Setona] said, ‘Maybe we should start a straight stick competition,’” Setona said. Folks in Marine on St. Croix have been seeking the straightest stick ever since. … Fifty sticks were entered this year, up 20 from the contest’s first year. “Last year a dog won,” said Dan Mahoney, Setona and Soren’s dad. The Labrador won second place with a stick he carried in. “It was very straight,” Setona confirmed.

Sticky situations: Eric Sanford stood at the registration table with a butter stick. “Yeah, last year somebody submitted a yardstick that got vehemently disqualified, so I figured I’d be that guy this year,” he said, smiling mischievously. The wrapped butter stick immediately sputtered discussion as Setona and Soren huddled with the third judge, Nyenhuis. “Disqualified!” the siblings said in unison. “We do have some rules here, people,” the mayor said, laughing at the absurdity of the entry. Here, a longer straight stick trumps one shorter. Extra points are given for sticks that show signs of having been in nature. Worm trails and lichen are viewed favorably. “This is a twig,” Soren said, as an entry — deemed too short to be a stick — was passed over.

Sticking it to the winners: “You won! Congratulations, Pepper,” the mayor shouted as preschooler Pepper earned the Most Interesting Stick Award in open class for some skeletal remains of a cactus. Among her winnings: a sack of leftover parade candy from Setona’s and Soren’s private stash. Once the third- and second-place straightest sticks were announced, the mayor lifted from the entry table the judges’ choice for first place. “Lucy!” he shouted as the third grader emerged from the crowd, lifting her stick in a victory pose. The crowd cheered. Leah Mahoney handed Lucy her prize. “A hand-painted gourd by your mom,” Leah announced as the crowd erupts in laughter. … “I think as a community we may have found a new way to gather,” Nyenhuis said.

[From 10 WBNS]

Leftover candy and a hand-painted gourd by your mom… Those prizes are tipping the scale in the sad event direction! Don’t worry, that wasn’t all: winners were also presented with gift certificates to local merchants, which is lovely, but may mean more to the parents than the kids. I’ve been poking fun at this most rudimentary, or I should say straightforward of competitions, but I actually have genuine fondness for a lot going on here. I love that the whole idea was the brainchild of a kid, and the adults in the community went all in on championing the project and taking it seriously. (Butter and yardsticks notwithstanding.) Plus it’s educational, as they get into the weeds on the imprints of nature giving each stick its unique character. Hearing a preschooler tell local news that her stick “has lichen on it” made me so dang happy I nearly cried. (Eight-year-old Soren bemoaning to a would-be contestant “It’s a TWIG!” will also be living rent-free in my head.) And best of all, there’s not a phone/tablet/screen in sight! Except for taking a group photo at the end. Though once those kids inevitably do grow up and go online, we know where they’ll be headed: StickTok, which is exactly what it says on the tin.

PS — The dog winning with a stick he carried in is one of the greatest things to happen in both his life and mine.

Photos are screenshots from YouTube