Lindsay Lohan is a f-cking mess in Cannes, of course


As a Lohan-watcher for the past few years, I can tell you something that I’ve observed – Lindsay gets the good sh-t when she’s in France. Inevitably, when she’s in France, whether it’s Paris or Cannes, she looks totally f-cking jacked, out-of-her-mind f-cked up, her crackface even more skunky than usual. Perhaps French dealers don’t know when to cut her off. Maybe the French dealers just get the premium sh-t for Lindsay. Perhaps Lindsay has already built up a tolerance for American drugs. Perhaps it’s all jet lag? Hahahaha. Anyway, here are some photos of Lindsay partying and looking jacked in Cannes yesterday. The Sun has the rundown of her first day:

ALL-night partying is hardly uncharted territory for LINDSAY LOHAN. Neither is tumbling to the ground after one too many. But to do it all in the company of a male date marks a new phase for her.

The troubled star hit a plush yacht party – and an unforgiving pavement – at the Cannes Film Festival hand-in-hand with a mystery hat-clad man.

As her eyes grew increasingly bleary throughout the evening, her legs correspondingly became wobblier – culminating in a spectacular roadside collapse in the French city.

Later on, Lindsay took time out from standing upright to enjoy a relaxing squat, brandishing her grazed knees in the process.

Meanwhile, the Mean Girls star has been issued with a huge incentive to clean up in her carjacking lawsuit.

The three men who are suing Lindsay for allegedly stealing their motor in 2007 have offered a bizarre settlement deal, asking for $3 million that they’ll dish out to charities – instead of spend themselves – if she manages to stay sober for 42 months.

Good luck with that…

[From The Sun]

Is this the worst she’s ever been? No. But it comes at a time when she’s under heavier scrutiny for the terms of probation, and whether or not she’s in compliance with her judge’s orders. Radar claims that the court is in the process of finding Lindsay in “very good” condition as far as her progress report goes. Jesus… did they not hear about her throwing a drink in someone’s face? Did they not hear about her 30-person entourage and her nightly hissy fits to security people who refuse her entry to clubs? WTF?

At least she’s wearing panties, right?



Lindsay in Cannes on May 16, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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66 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is a f-cking mess in Cannes, of course”

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  1. glitsha says:

    Why is she ALWAYS frowning in that weird Grimace!?

  2. mO says:

    jesus! i hate her.

  3. Just a Poster says:

    Well at least she is wearing underpants..
    its a start.

  4. Leek says:


  5. glitsha says:

    is she holding a coke straw in the 6th photo?

  6. Kaiser says:

    glitsha – no, it’s a cig.

  7. Sumodo1 says:

    Looks like a straw and any straw will do.

  8. Katalina76 says:

    Oh, it’s DEFINITELY a straw. Send this mess to jail please!

  9. kai2 says:

    I LOVE that story about the settlement offer.

  10. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Its a joke – she’ll get off scott free afyer flouting the law

    Makes me angry that anyone else (read non-celeb) would have been thrown in jail ages ago!

    42 months sober – hahahaha!!! I can’t stop laughing, are they serious…

  11. Snarf says:

    Is it wrong of me to really hope she ends up going to jail for a couple of months or so?

  12. Tia C says:

    Making Cannes a priority with her court case looming is such a WISE choice. If she had all her ducks in a row, that would be one thing, but by all accounts she does not.

    What is the deal with her face lately? For the past few weeks she’s been sporting a double chin, for which she’s way too young, and a general bloated appearance. Is she in her bloaty-almost-dead-Elvis phase already? And she’s barely done anything!

  13. meme says:

    @snarf, nope ain’t wrong of you. personally, i don’t care if she ends up dead. the way this twat is allowed to circumvent the law pisses me off. this whole celebrity justice thing is a crock of shit. michael douglas meth dealing felon son just got moved to country club jail. unbelievable.

  14. Sudini says:

    I have to say, it must take some balls to wear shoes like that and then go get wasted. Like some kind of extreme sport…

  15. lucy2 says:

    The French dealers must be thrilled. They probably make all their cash during the week of Cannes when Hollywood comes to visit, and probably 50% of it comes from Blohan.

  16. Alecto says:

    i wonder if she had fillers put in her face or if it’s just bloat from her kidneys failing

  17. ViktoryGin says:

    Who the hell is footing her bill?!

    It’s cosmically unfair that some perfectly respectable, hard-working individuals get shat on while this slag continues to escape cosmic punishment. The universe will come to collect. And it’s not going to be pretty.

  18. B says:

    wow, just looked, there are cleary both: a straw AND a cig between her fingers, tools of her trade.

  19. Just a Poster says:

    ” Like some kind of extreme sport…”


  20. Larissa says:


  21. flourpot says:

    I can’t think of a single reason to carry around a straw. Well.. except that one. Ew.

  22. bellaluna says:

    Just, ugh.

  23. Frank says:

    How did she get those scuffs on her knees I wonder? Maybe ‘rehearsing’ for that Linda Lovelace movie with some important directors/execs from the movie biz?

  24. abbizmal says:

    It is a straw and that might be a cig above it or a coke baggie, hard to tell which, but def a straw. That girl is a mess and I don’t see any hope for her. I’m actually surprised she is still alive. Where is the picture of her eating the pavement? That’s what I want to see. 😀

    PS – At least she is wearing panties.

  25. Shane says:

    I just spent 5 minutes staring at picture #6 or lindsay_lohan_27_wenn2848579.jpg.

    Definitely a straw. You can clearly see it as a straw. It’s clear, circular opening on end. It’s not a pipe.

    And there is a white bag of some sort being clutched in her middle finger. It could be a bandaid maybe? But it certainly looks like it could be a bag of some powdery substance.

  26. a says:

    i agree with you shane ^

  27. toob says:

    In the “relaxing squat” photo (urgh) she looks like she has hooves.

  28. Deb says:

    Don’t they ever drug test that ignorant b*tch?

  29. boo says:

    I, too, just stared at photo #6. Besides thinking I need to get a life, I think that is a straw as well. I know you can get some funky looking ciggs in Europe but that looks like a straw.

  30. Juice in LA says:

    It really horrifies me that radar is reporting the court will find her in very good condition. I hope this is wrong. She really, really needs help.

    Horrible that there seems not to be anyone out there that can truly help her. I feel like we are all sitting by eating our popcorn watching this girl kill herself.

  31. Big Mama says:

    I just want to know who she is hiding from behind that chair…

    She is an odd and sick little girl. Pretty soon we will all be saying R.I.P. LiLo and/or good riddance. All the while her mother will be spouting off the “who knew” and her father will be pointing fingers at everyone but himself. *sigh*

  32. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Why is she allowed out of the country?

    As far as her staying sober to get that $$$ to go to charity (which would be a huge, positive PR move for her), I’m gonna vote no. God willing I’ll find out what 42 months sober feels like in August, but I didn’t get to 39 months & counting by going out to clubs every night. I did, however, go to close to 500 meetings my first year. & I also did something Lindsay’s not doing: I stopped drinking.

  33. Mouse says:

    She’s already been given so many chances to clean up her act, it’s pretty obvious it’s not going to happen w/out her being locked up and cut off, from the drugs and her trashy mother and sister. I think a month or two in jail would actually be a really good thing for her.

  34. Lindsay says:

    Deb: To make this mess at least to helpful for her she should be required to have weekly or random drug testing – if she is allowed to continue probation. It is not sounding good for her. The judge told her at the next court date she must have completed all of the required classes, but she has 4 left.

    I doubt the Lohan family’s party line “I so busy working.” The judge won’t care that her dad was speaking negative thins about her, or that she had sell a bunch of items, or there was a huge sale at my favorite store. “I had to go to Cannes instead completing the required classes”

    Other possible excuses:
    “I came but I was drunk and high so the teacher made me leave after I started dancing on my desk.” He was just jealous of me and still hold a grudge from the day I brought bottles of alcohol. How was I supposed to know alcohol education wasn’t about hiding the fact your drinking and get creative idea. The water bottle is no longer working, also I was expecting learn how to make different drinks that get you drunk fast and what drug goes best with each drink”

  35. Naye in VA says:

    is that dude nxt to her Scott Disick?

  36. Victoria says:

    @Juice In: you said what I was thinking but in my case Im eating a candy bar and watching this woman kill herself

  37. gg says:

    Thankyou @ Sudini! The shoes these drunken little girls wear out everywhere are starting to look like pontoons to me.

  38. Missmilly says:

    She just can’t catch a break–her entire life is documented by stalkers!!! I would be drugged up all the time too if I had no privacy–what a hell! Hope she can overcome it and get her life back.

  39. Allie says:

    Geez, so much hatred for her, it’s really sad! I really hope she cleans herself up, before she’s the next Hollywood casualty. It’s incredibly sad, her own Mother can’t see how out of control she is, and intervene to get her the help she needs.
    All these bitchy comments, still can’t dimish the fact, the girl did have talent.

  40. Constance says:

    The girl had talent? hahaha. While I respect your opinion, I don’t think she was ever known, critically, to have anything other than an obscene amount of freckles.

    What’s sad is she gets all this free shit and “good times” when she most certainly doesn’t deserve it. I can’t wait until she’s photographed on Skid Row, maybe other stupid up-an-comings will learn a lesson in decency.

  41. gg says:

    Missmilly – she won’t stay in her house and she won’t stay away from the stalkerazzi – she courts them in fact. Just like Britney did before she was wrangled back into reality.

    LL needs to be wrangled back to reality as well.

  42. jay swiss says:

    how about we stop taking her pic. and let her go away

  43. GatsbyGal says:

    So…is she just not going to attend those last few alcohol ed classes? She better get thrown the fuck in jail.

  44. Lady D says:

    @snarf, (sigh,) you’re not alone in your wrongness.
    @dread pirate cuervo; Sincere congrats amigo. Wouldn’t wish that insidious, evil disease on my worst enemy.
    As a matter of fact, if I had things my way, alcohol would never have been invented. ‘Course if I had things my way, clothing would never have been invented either. Talk about a great leveler. Supermodels could model pretty rocks or something.The planet would also require a warm climate world-wide for this to work, but talk about freedom. Do you think people would still be as cruel about other’s looks or would we have a far more accepting society? I’d like to think it would be the latter.

  45. sharylmj says:

    I think she should be required as part of her probation to have random or weekly drug testing.. that would put a stop to her constant partying. She was caught with cocaine in her clothes she was wearing. I don’t understand why they are so leanient (sp?) on her. Does she stomp her feet in the courtroom and throw temper tantrums so the judge just lets her go? sad.

  46. Kat says:

    jail and or death in 3…2…1…

  47. glitsha says:

    ok, it’s definitely a coke straw and either a cig. or a joint (or both). damn! is her deranged sense of entitlement that out of control, or was she just cracked out of her damn mind? (or both!?)

  48. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Just to add my 2 cents: It does look like a straw but LL strikes me as the type to ask whoever she’s partying with for a $20 bill to roll up & then keep it.

  49. YeahRight says:

    She should layoff the chemicals, in her hair as in her body. Her hair seems to be thinning everytime a photo of her is taken.
    Oh, she’s going to be a **beauty** in five years from now when the booze, the drugs and the lifestyle finally catch up with her; but least something will catch up with her. It seems the justice system can’t.

    The only explanation I can think of is that she must be some kind of Jedi master using mind tricks on the cops and judges to keep her out of jail.

  50. soxfan says:

    It is a glowstick-saw it on another site.

  51. TaylorB says:



  52. buckley says:

    I for one I’m rooting for her.
    Guess I feel sorry more than pissed at her. I liked her in Mean Girls what can I say.

    Either way…I wish she would rebound!

  53. crash2GO2 says:

    @Allie: Her mother can do nothing, her father can do nothing, Santa Claus can do nothing. Only LiLo can do something, because she is (at 23 years of age) a legal adult. And responsible for her own actions.

  54. MissyA says:

    Yeah, I was buying into the straw conspiracy theory, but I think Dread Pirate Cuervo’s observation rings more true to Lilo’s character.

    If you’d excuse the pun – I had a very loose association with a couple of “party girls” in college. These bitches would come to a house party in the highest heels and the shortest skirts, and demand all the liquor, weed and attention. As long as you kept your distance, it was just as sad/awesome as Rock of Love.

    One of them buddied up to me (because I was a giant pothead – duh), and offered me this priceless gem (after she babysat half my joint) – “Never sniff anything with less than a $20 bill. Because then they know you’re worth it!”

    I remember laughing so hard at that party. . .
    She was totally the kind of girl who would pocket a twenty.
    She was also the girl who licked your mirror/credit card clean after she helped herself to the first line.
    But somehow I got the impression that she and her friends “earned” that first line in some sort of unsavory way. . .

    And my assumption is this is very much the MO of living la vida Lohan.

    I vote glowstick.

  55. boo says:

    Big Mama – She is not a little girl. She is an adult.

  56. boo says:

    Abizmal _ here is this weeks pic of Lindsay wiping out.

    That is a straw in her hand.

  57. passer by says:

    Dread Pirate Cuervo, Congrats on 39 months. That’s outstanding! Keep up the excellent work!

  58. sage says:

    Oh please keep droping the F bomb like this. I F(k!n love it.
    Constance… Freckles…
    F(k!n riot!

  59. Dawg says:

    I’m ashamed to admit I Puffy Heart her slutty shoes :-/

  60. Miss Tila Chlamydia OMGPOW! says:

    Okay for all you blind sluts! For the record, in that 6th thumbnail, Ms. Freckled Whore is clearly carrying a straw. See CB’s thumbnail #5 for clarity. Got it? See it? Believe it? Okay, well then, mosey along to MK’s DListed and see thumbnail #3. See that ring on her right middle finger that some of you thought it was a coke bag? Erm… it’s what I initially thought it was, just an ugly ring.

    All right. That’s all I got to say.

  61. Hautie says:

    Nice to see her fake tan is still spotty.

    I bet that dress was a couple of thousand dollars, yet she has on a $2 dollar bottle tan.

    And that whole bloat thing with her face, is just unfortunate.

  62. Kazoo81 says:

    how does she still have such an awesome wardrobe? the shoes & dress are both gorgeous…she is not. LOL.

  63. bellaluna says:

    @ Allie – It’s not “hatred” for Lindsay. It’s disgust: with her behaviour; with her attitude; with her sense of entitlement; with her excuses; with her getting away with everything short of murder; with her throwing away every ounce of talent and potential she ever had; with her not receiving any kind of justice. We’re all sick of her ungrateful, drunken, druggie antics.

    @ Juice – Kind of makes you wonder what the courts (and Radar) define as “very good condition” doesn’t it?

    @ dread pirate – Congrats to you! Keep up the hard work, for it is hard work to stay sober.

  64. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Thx for all the love!!! 🙂

  65. Linda says:

    LMFAO @ Sudini:
    it must take some balls to wear shoes like that and then go get wasted. Like some kind of extreme sport…


  66. mollination says:

    Those last two photos have her looking like a whiny infant possessed by satan. She is truly unnattractive. If I were a guy, that lip snarl and “i want it now, memmememememememe” face that she has in the car-photo would have me running for the hills. If not either of those expressions, the ear wax, grown-out straw hair, dirty smudge-face, knee scabs, fake tan lines, dilated pupils, premature wrinkles, and crack-skin would do it.

    **And that is most definitely a clear straw in the 6th picture if I ever saw one.