Ethan Hawke sings song about his “fat beast” of an ex wife, Uma Thurman


Ethan Hawke was one of the musicians to take the stage entertaining theater guests between performances of the “24 Hour Plays,” which are six one act plays performed back to back that were written, rehearsed and set up entirely in just 24 hours. A journalist from NY Magazine was there, and she noted that the music act that was on before Ethan wasn’t so good, but that once the scruffy ex-husband of Uma Thurman came on stage the crowd was mesmerized – by his lyrics:

Out of nowhere, actor Ethan Hawke hopped up onstage, strapped on an acoustic guitar and bared his soul to the audience. “Someone I know wrote this song while shooting a movie in Paris during his divorce,” he said. We, along with the rest of the audience, gasped. He was totally talking about himself, and more important, Uma Thurman…

He proceeded to sing a ditty that included lyrics about “not caring if [he] ever saw New York again,” “the lawyers,” and — most telling — “my wife.” Uma! “My wife hates me,” he sang, adding something about how she would call him a prick, how he longed to send for his children, tralalala singing stuff. We were intoxicated, both with beverages and with memories of Dead Poets Society. And then! “My wife is a big fat beast,” he sang. We gasped, along with the rest of the audience. He called Uma fat! In public! Sheepishly, Hawke broke his musicianly stride: “Yeah, I was very upset at the time.” And still is, we suspect.

[From NY Magazine]

Ethan Hawke and Uma Thurman broke up in 2003 and were divorced in 2004. They have two children, a daughter, Maya, 9, and a son, Levon, 6.

Although Ethan’s cheating is thought to have ended their relationship, Uma took the high road when describing what happened, and told Oprah that “Blaming anybody doesn’t make you feel better and when you have two children, I think, that’s such a priority to protect them and to never lose sight of the fact that, even if you’re in a fight or even if things are going badly, it’s in their best interests that everybody comes out OK, so there’s no winning.” [from Softpedia]

Ethan kept talking about their relationship though, calling it “unfair” that Uma was so much more successful than him. Although he didn’t specifically name her, it’s obvious who he’s talking about.

“It’s unfair when one person’s career is taking off and the other is really suffering,” he says. “What happens — it’s not that they’re jealous of each other; it’s that the person you share your life with isn’t in the mood to support. You want to have a pity party for yourself, but they’re off to the Golden Globes and you don’t want to go because everyone is going to think you are jealous.”

[AMC's Shootout from Evil Beet]

Now Ethan, 37, is dating his family’s former nanny, 27, and his rep has confirmed that she’s pregnant with his baby. Ethan and the nanny supposedly didn’t have anything going on when she was employed by his family and are said to have hooked up afterwards. I wonder how she feels about the fact that he’s singing songs about his ex wife.

Ethan and Uma were photographed together outside their children’s school on March 13, presumably going to a parent teacher conference. The 24 Hour plays were on March 17, so I guess we can assume that Ethan and Uma didn’t entirely get along during that rare get together.

Ethan Hawke is shown filming scenes for “NY, I Love You” on 3/20/08, thanks to Splash News.

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33 Responses to “Ethan Hawke sings song about his “fat beast” of an ex wife, Uma Thurman”

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  1. geronimo says:

    How pathetic. Sounds like Uma’s well rid of him.

  2. Emma says:

    He is a PRICK, I used to think he was nice – how WRONG was I! I hope Uma has a lovely life without him.

  3. Granger says:

    I’ve always thought those comments were bizarre — about one person wanting to have a “pity party” while the other is off to the Golden Globes, and how the less successful person doesn’t want to go because everyone will think s/he’s jealous. Well, if you’re NOT jealous, then being at the Golden Globes, supporting your successful partner, shouldn’t bother you. So it sounds to me like Ethan Hawke WAS jealous of Uma’s success and his poor little ego couldn’t handle the scene anymore.

    What an immature, spoiled, egotistical idiot. No wonder he hooked up with the nanny. Uma was too strong and independent for him. He obviously needs a partner who’s chances of eclipsing him in the fame and success department are minimal, which makes the nanny a perfect partner!

  4. Anonymous says:

    My God, he is one UGLY man inside and out.

  5. Princess says:

    Well put Granger. He just made himself look ugly and bitter.

  6. snappyfish says:

    this guy is a prick. I thought he was cute in dead poet’s society. I was wrong.

    Good for Uma, not only to have had such class in her respect for her children and her former marriage not to diss it…and that she got rid of this waste product.

  7. headache says:

    Meh. Something went horribly wrong in their marriage. Maybe it was just him cheating, maybe it was a combination of both. Who really knows. Just becaue she’s taken the proverbial high road post divorce does not make her completely innocent.

    She hasn’t exactly picked winners since.

    Of course, it’s been quite a while since they split, plenty of time for him to get over whatever bitterness he harbors toward the mother of his children. For him to put this out there to be reported on where his children can read about it is shameful.

  8. minx says:

    once a douchebag, always a douchebag.. this just shows that Ethan Hawke is a tiny little prick.. the most telling part being that he impregnates his kids’ nanny.. nobody who can stand up to him or overshadow his “career”.. poor, pathetic egotistical Ethan. BTW, I hope everyone remembers that he used to complain about Uma’s vag being too big for him after she had kids. She is so lucky to be rid of him. And she looks fabulous.

  9. geronimo says:

    Are you serious, minx? On that last bit? If true, that puts him in a whole new category of douchebag. What a repulsive, loathsome waste of space.

  10. wif says:

    Yeah, he needs to rip up that song and throw it away. His kids will NEVER understand how he can be so disrespectful.

  11. minx says:

    geronimo, I read about it at the time of their divorce (or rather when he was romancing that young waitress in Canada). apparently, he told friends and friends told magazines.. at the time it seemed almost improbable but now looks like he’s the type to say something like that. I have no respect for him whatsoever.

  12. FF says:

    Yep he made comments about Uma’s body post-pregnancy. In public. To anyone who’d listen. As if he’d been the victim of a crime.

    I’ve loathed him ever since.

  13. ER says:

    Well, his attempt to make her look bad has clearly shot him in the foot. All it has done is make him look like a complete jerk!

  14. Bellatrix says:

    What a nice fella (oh, the sarcasm).

    I cannot be bothered by people like that in real life but knowing some (pseudo) celebrity is being purely mean to his ex-wife and mother of his children in public almost makes me happy. If this doesn’t end his carreer once and for all, I am speechless.

  15. Toubrouk says:

    As a man, I have a hard time listening to righteous douche trying to put the failure of a relationship on the other partner. This is especially true if the sleaze whine about it.

    I can’t believe such pathetic things live and exist in this world.

  16. Anonymous says:

    He simply proves the fact that men are the weaker sex…Can’t do anything until they consult that worthless sac between their legs. He’s a loser with no brain.

  17. Lola says:

    Wow, what a loser. Him and Ryan Phillipe.

  18. mollination says:

    what did ryan phillipe do? Allegedly cheat? We don’t know for sure, and we don’t know why if he did. Reese doesn’t seem like much of a treat to be around either!

    Ethan you have accomplished just the opposite of what you had hoped to. Instead of letting your side be heard and then being sympathized with, you broadcasted exactly what a lowly pathetic creep you are. Yes, Uma really was the more successful/talented and all around better one in the relationship.

  19. skyblue says:

    Seconded, Lola.

  20. lola lola says:

    His words about her body are so evil, childish and embarrassing. He’ll be better off with a nanny who has no career and is no professional threat to him. What a loser! He only got work years ago because he was good looking–but the years have NOT been kind to him (rightfully so). He’ll forever be on the edges of the acting world. Maybe the nanny can support him with her babysitting money.

  21. minx says:

    lola… you’re so right about his looks. Karma face, no doubt.

  22. Diana says:

    He’s a freakin’ idiot. I’ll never drop another dime to see this prick in anything. Ever.

  23. saintdevil says:

    Well, Ethan…

    …so you’ve got a low self esteem?
    That’s your problem.
    By whining and cheating you made it Uma’s, too.

    Isn’t it time to get a handle on life and just let her be?

  24. Nina says:

    Although Ethan’s a celebrity he is a human being. So he has faults, but he is a moving father and he was a husband in love. Uma just thought on her career. When they were together Ethan didn’t shoot a lot because he was caring his children. Now he deserves to be happy. But I think that he still loves Uma Thurman, unfortunately. But back then she said “I will always love Ethan”. It’ sad to see both separated.

  25. anonymous says:

    He looks like an old tramp.

  26. anon69 says:

    Pathetic excuse for a man.

  27. Haylie says:

    He needs new teeth.

  28. ringo says:

    He does have apoint though, she is a fat beast, homely looking and a very poor actor. Ethan, we feel your pain!

    –Edward Norton

  29. neelyo says:

    ‘ He needs new teeth.’

    Haylie, I couldn’t agree more. Those gray little nubs he calls teeth have always repulsed me. He’s a total loser who thinks way too highly of himself. I hope he doesn’t write another shitty novel, this time about the breakup.

  30. ThatBKChick says:

    Hmmm…((((Tapping my pen at my desk))))….thinking quietly…(((I GOT IT)))!!!

    I know why Uma kicked azz so well in the “Kill Bill” vol’s 1 and 2….She had the sweetest revenge…all that azz kicking in the movie, she was thinking about kicking his punk azz all the time probably while filming! LMAO!!

    Just imagine..she could had used all that Kill Bill training and put a whooping on his sissy azz years ago!.

    If it was me, I would had used that Kill Bill action expertise to put a whooping on his punk azz with the quickness,thus, we would be entertaining his “bitchassedness” now!

    It is clear and evident that Uma had taken and is still taking the high road on this snaggle tooth loser! SMDH!

  31. MRod says:

    He is starting to resemble Nick Nolte’s mug shots.

  32. Alek says:

    Actually he’s most starting to resemble John Malkovich… who I also used to crush on until he expressed his desire to shoot war reporters. Ethan = equally execrable. Nor more movie moolahs from me, boys!

  33. Да уж, такие положительные результаты :)