Kaiser and I were just complaining to each other about how it’s kind of a dull tabloid week. Nothing of great interest seems to be happening and there’s a predominance of stories about celebrity bikini bodies and ill-advised diets. The Enquirer is running with another Oprah cover, which must be good sellers for them despite how boring they seem to the rest of us. They claim that Oprah and Gayle got in a “public screaming match” in which the words “I hate you!” were uttered. It’s just about an argument they had over some issue at a business meeting. Gayle supposedly said “I hate you when you act like this,” which is different than just saying “I hate you” and storming out.

According to the Enquirer they’re having some issues where Gayle is finally asserting herself over input into Oprah’s new cable network and isn’t having it when Oprah is trying to pull rank and shut her down. They talked it out, though, and I’m sure they kissed and made up afterwards.

The real dirt in the Oprah article is an inset story which claims that Oprah absolutely can’t stand it that Judge Judy sometimes beats her in the ratings and is vowing to crush her. She’s made it a point to ensure that Judy is never mentioned on her show or in any of her publications as she sees her as a huge rival. Plus Oprah thinks Judy is trashy for covering such low brow material with the guests in her courtroom. That’s so ripe coming from a woman who interviews pedophiles and the Octomom.

Here’s part of the Enquirer’s story:

Oprah Winfrey has vowed to burn her top TV rival “Judge Judy” before quitting her talk show, and banned her feisty ratings foe from all things Oprah, insiders say.

“The ‘Judge Judy’ show has not only tied with Oprah’s show in the ratings, it’s actually beating ‘The Oprah Winfrey Show’ a few times, and Oprah is furious!” an insider divulged.

“Now Oprah has made it clear that she doesn’t want Judy mentioned in her magazine, on her TV show or on her cable shows – anywhere, any time, any way. Judy is banned from Oprahland!”

The two TV powerhouses have been at odds since Judge Judy Sheindlin, who’d been a Manhattan family court judge for 14 years, debuted as “Judge Judy” in 1996, the source said.

“Oprah used to say ‘Judge Judy’ was just trashy people yelling at each other about their sordid lives,” the insider said.

“Over the years, Oprah tried to ignore the show, hoping it would go away. Instead, Judy is threatening to nudge Oprah out of her spot at the top of the daytime ratings.”

Feeling threatened, Oprah has shaken up her staff, said the source.

“Oprah wants her show to end in a blaze of glory. She’s made it clear that heads will roll if the ratings don’t climb…

“She doesn’t want cheap gimmicks and she’s rejected ideas like big giveaways. Oprah wants solid ‘idea’ shows with big guest stars…

“Just is well aware of Oprah’s anger, and she’s actually laughing about it… Judy has been telling her friends ‘Oprah started the fight, and I’ll finish it.'”

[From The National Enquirer, print edition, June 7, 2010]

I kind of ignore Judge Judy and I had no idea that her show had been on so long or that she makes a whopping $33 million a year. The thing that makes me believe that The Enquirer has a very solid insider source is their insistence that Oprah isn’t relying on “gimmicks” for ratings. That is absolutely not true, but sounds just like something one of her staff members would say. I’m sure she’s presenting it that way to her people, and maybe the almighty Oprah believes that her show isn’t trashy, but it really is. The Oprah show is full of tabloid material. I had to switch off a recent episode about child brides of some cult leader it was so disturbing. Plus she always hypes her celebrity guests and was recently asking the Pinkett-Smiths about their sex life, which is a favorite topic of Jada’s anyway. Oprah just can’t stand competition. I bet Oprah’s show will really take a beating when she moves it to her OWN network anyway. Oprah can’t OWN everything. Team Judy!

Oprah Winfrey is shown on 5/9/10. Judge Judy is shown on 3/18/10. Credit: WENN.com