Cristiano Ronaldo’s new Armani ads: sexy, or still a douche?


Everyone thinks Cristiano Ronaldo is a major douche, right? He’s boned illustrious women like… Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian, plus some of Europe’s finest hookers, models and assorted football fans. In short, he enjoys his stardom and has basically no standards other than “no fatties.” Well, I still can’t hate him completely. Because he has a really insane body that is so lovely, I can barely even concentrate. These are some of Ronaldo’s new ads for Armani underwear (and jeans). The ads were done in Madrid. But who is looking at the set pieces, when there’s that big piece right there?


See, I just have a hard time believing that a dude with a body like this would be ALL bad. Perhaps he’s just naughty? And yes, I have a problem, I know. Sometimes I go for really sleazy guys. If dudes can gawk at Megan Fox, I can enjoy Ronaldo just on pure eye candy level. Here’s one more, and older Armani ad:


Sigh… does this make you want to root for Portugal in tomorrow’s game, against Cote d’Ivoire? I’ll watch…

Photos courtesy of Towleroad.

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42 Responses to “Cristiano Ronaldo’s new Armani ads: sexy, or still a douche?”

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  1. buckley says:

    As the sportscaster from that SNL skit would say:

  2. Team Bethenny says:

    While the body was definitely crafted by “the hand of god”, nothing above the shoulders does anything for me.

  3. hstl1 says:

    He is hot, no doubt about it. I think we all want to hate him because he seems to have a pretty awesome life and he takes advantage of all of his advantages!

  4. Jeri says:

    He always looks greasy and not in a sexy way.

  5. Karen says:

    Euro-douche TM

  6. maya says:

    He is known as “euro-trash”.

  7. LindyLou says:

    I vote douche. A muy caliente one but still a douche.

  8. JJ says:

    Ugh. I’ll get back to you on that after he lays off the wax and tanners. Ick.

  9. qb says:

    He is hot. The funny thing about him is that when it comes to relationship he has horrible taste and is always getting in to trouble but you ask anyone who worked with him and they tell you how great he is and how fun and nice he was to them.

    I remember seeing a docu that they did with him and they showed him with his nephews and other sick children and he was adorable with them. Plus the fact that he is a bone marrow donor sort of make me like him even more.

    Behind that douche facade there is a sweet guy.

  10. KJ says:

    Whatever, he’s hot as fuck. His styling screams douche whenever he’s out and about (greazy, faux-hawk/mullet that is EVER so popular with euro men, unfortunately), and he can look a little too “pretty” and pouty at times, but in these ads he looks downright delicious. God. Damn.

    That said, he is a MAJOR douche bag and I would only sleep with him if he (a) TRIPLE bagged it and had a certificate from Planned Parenthood clearing him of STDs and (b) he never said anything other than my name. That’s ideal. But yea, douche bag.

  11. Nanea says:

    Cristiano most certainly is not the brightest bulb – but then he’s a footballer, not a scientist.

    As to his dating habits and the way he often dresses: once a douche, always a douche.

    But as #9 – qb said, he has a heart of gold and donates money to UNICEF, Red Cross, to the Tsunami victims etc.

  12. maria says:

    Anyone who wears their hair like Ed Grimley is in the douche category.

  13. Melanie says:

    always a douche with the most punchable face in the world

  14. Bonfire Beach says:

    Douche extraordinaire and total eurotrash but that friggin’ body – Jeez! Put someone else’s head on it.

  15. Bellatrix says:

    Maybe it’s because I get to drool over the Dieux du Stade calendar on yearly basis but this “doosh” does nothing for me.

    There are a lot of men (well, obviously in the rugby and soccer domain) out there with that body but minus the Euro-trash face and reputation.

  16. Electric says:

    he’s hot

    sexy and still a douche. Those two things are not mutually exclusive 🙂

  17. Mika says:


    … remember when he whined to a ref during the last world cup to have Rooney red-carded and then when the ref did his douche bidding, he whined about how he couldn’t play soccer in England anymore because people where mean to him there??
    Yeah… DOUCHE!

  18. Brooke says:

    the level of hyper-neat manscaping combined with embarrassing duckface pouting seems indicative of extreme narcissism; classic fatal flaw for douchebags.

    Add to that the fact that while he is indeed a fine physical specimen, his posturing in all these photos is terrifically wooden and uninspiring; someone seems to feel that he need not make any effort and that simply being present is enough. blech.

    Not for nothing, but if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck…

  19. KsGirl says:

    The look on his face in the jeans/chair shot is cheeky/sexy but overall this guy’s style SCREAMS douche.

  20. Circe says:

    Ronaldo falls under that age-old wisdom that you don’t actually have to approve of someone’s personality in order to sleep with them.

    And anyhoodle, douche or no, he’s a pretty decent football player.

  21. Ú says:

    He is the most awesome player I have ever seen, and I’ve seen him play many times in the flesh.
    He is even more beautiful in real life than any picture can show. He is a gentleman (believe it or not) and he’s a humanitarian.
    Also, he is only 24 and what young man would refuse to sleep with all these starlets who throw themselves at him??

  22. OOns says:

    @Mika Eh, where do you get your information? He played in England, on Man Utd with Rooney for a couple more seasons after that. He won the Premier League and The Champions League and won the Golden Boot for the most goals scored in a season….

  23. risa says:

    Guys that look that good also act like they look that good. I am going to call this as I see it…. DOUCHE!

  24. Ruffian9 says:


    Not appealing. At all.

  25. Isa says:

    I agree with many of the other posters, love his body nothing else. He is so greasy looking.
    Feminine almost.

  26. isabeau says:

    his petulant face has never been my thing but he is poetry in motion on the pitch, no?

  27. mojoman says:

    Dayum, he looks like Lambert in the last pic! yeah, work that Zoolander pout girl!

  28. Mistral says:

    I don’t find him hot at all. And he is totally douchey. Great player, though. Now, Marco Boriello is a total douchey jerk, but at least he has the hot to back it up.

  29. city says:


  30. Shay says:

    I don’t care if he’s a douche. Most sports stars are not only douches, but they’re as dumb as a two concrete blocks…

    But man, they’re nice to look at!
    He’s fitter than Beckham!

  31. LolaBella says:

    Sexy AND a douche.

    The man has a beautiful body and is one hell of a footballer.

  32. mags says:

    i’d hit it, over and over, but yeah i’d want a doctor’s clearance first

  33. cedar falls says:

    “… remember when he whined to a ref during the last world cup to have Rooney red-carded”.

    Then again, Rooney had just stamped on another man’s testicles! That’s gotta be worth a red card anyway.

    As for the headline question – total douche and I’d hate myself, but yeah, I’d do Ronaldo.

  34. GeekLuva80 says:

    Based strictly on these pictures:

    The half-smile one is kinda hot…

    In the last one he looks like my ex… who turned out to be gay.

  35. CT says:

    Nice eyebrows, you girly man.

  36. Jazz says:

    Euro trash! Anyone who has hooked up with Ebola Hilton is a douche.

  37. OMJ says:

    Total douchey sleaze. But my-oh-my fine. After I tied him to the bed, gagged him and bagged ‘it’, I’d nibble on those abs for days.

  38. Mary Okorn-Jimenez says:

    Damn, he’s pretty.
    Who cares if he’s a douche?
    He probably knows his way around a woman’s body, and reverent or irreverent, probably causes said body joy.
    Or at least an orgasm. How many non-douches can say that?

  39. Kiska says:

    He seems too “manicured” too me. He probably loves to spend hours in from of the mirror grooming himself.

  40. Slymm27 says:

    Oh please! Enough with the douche thing. Its getting boring. You don’t even know the guy. He is so very hot, and he is a 24 year old single rich man, he can damn well sleep as many girls as he wants. He SINGLE! wth?

  41. Kali says:

    With the exception of the red card against Rooney in the last World Cup, I haven’t heard of anything that makes him sound douchey. He’s a manwhore, for sure, but so what?

  42. Ashley says:

    HAHAHHAHA…. Well I think he’s beautiful in his own right, he’s rich and successful, he’s an egoist… I mean charitable… you know he’s like any other celebrity! BUT YES HE IS A DOUCHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! There is no way of getting around that factor,only a douche would wear that much hair product, and tan so dark he’d put a black person to shame!