Taylor Momsen,16, has a best friend – her vibrator

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You know how much I love Taylor Momsen. Well, I love her in the way I love someone who is a total douchey poseur, like how I love to cover Megan Fox’s interviews because she’s so full of herself and so, so idiotic and desperate and insecure but trying to front like she’s the hardest bitch out there. Well, Agent Bedhead noticed the Momsen-Fox comparison too – calling Taylor the “Jailbait Version of Megan Fox”. Where Megan is trying to be Angelina, I think Taylor is trying to be Courtney Love. And Shirley Manson. And probably Kim Deal too, although I doubt Taylor knows who Kim Deal is. Anyway, Taylor gave yet another priceless interview, and this time she’s trying to shock (!) us by talking about her jailbait vadge and how she loves her vibrator. Once again, this chick is 16 years old.

After three seasons of looking like a panda-faced whore, Taylor Momsen and her ratty-ass hair extensions slunk off to the sidelines of Gossip Girl this year. But, guys, guys, she’s got, like, a record now, and you will just be shocked, shocked! by her sexy, scandalous non-thoughts.

Speaking to Disorder Magazine, hot mess Momsen declared her that her new album, “is a life record and it confronts issues and goes, here’s what f*cking sucks about everything and I don’t really know how to fix it but I’m f*cking dying and I’ll sing about it.”

Taylor! Two quarters to swear jar! But, sensing that perhaps talking about what “f*cking sucks about everything” wasn’t escandoloso enough, Taylor saucily decided to talk about her vagina, with the magazine reporting “that she’s not into guys, waits a beat, then adds she’s not gay but just bored of men and her best friend is her vibrator.”

Oh my word! Some one fetch me my smelling salts! A woman, talking about sex? And vibrators! Why, it’s so shocking…provided this was 1971. Better luck next publicity stunt, Tay-Tay!

[From Movieline]

Now, THIS reminds me of my teenage years. Awkward, dumb jokes about sex (glad I outgrew that, right?), talking about “my vibrator” just to be SHOCKING. It’s a rite of passage for girls with low self-esteem – get to the joke first, before someone else makes fun of you for it. And Taylor does have low self-esteem, much like Megan Fox. And like Fox, she’s trying so, so desperately to come across like she’s full of herself. Ah, teenagers and their vibrators. So f-cking dumb.

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Taylor on June 25, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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55 Responses to “Taylor Momsen,16, has a best friend – her vibrator”

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  1. denise says:

    How inappropriate.

  2. Canucklehead says:

    Yawn.

    Someone wake me when her 15 minutes are up.

  3. Sasha says:

    Do you remember the Mena Suvaris cacharecter from American Beauty? She is like that…

  4. GrnMtGirl says:

    Bored with Men? She’s 16…does she even know what a man is?

  5. Erin says:

    There is something so whiny about her. Ewww.

  6. Team Bethenny says:

    I blame Miley.

  7. Jeri says:

    In 15 years she’ll probably have 6 kids & work for the U.N.

  8. cherryberry says:

    Courtney Love and Shirley Manson I can see but NEVER Kim Deal. I haven’t heard Taylor’s music but Ms Deal has dressed in any way remotely resembling this. At least not in public.

    Also, why she may be going for shock value by mentioning her vibrator, I do think that more teenage girls should be enccouraged to explore their bodies and sexuality on their own without risk of stigmatization. Not only is it the safest form of sex, its empowering to be able to bring yourself such pleasure. I wish I had a vibrator when I was 15, 16. It probably would have saved me a lot of heartache.

  9. ctkat says:

    The dark eye makeup just makes me cranky.

    That is all.

  10. guesty says:

    so chris hansen-ish.

  11. MissyA says:

    God knows I love you, Kaiser – but never, ever invoke the allusion of my beloved Kim Deal and Shirley Manson when speaking of this poseur. The former are iconic, game-changing women in rock and roll in the late 80′s/early 90′s. The latter is a stereotypical teenager with a hard-on for the limelight.

    . . . Courtney Love, yeah sure, but Manson and Deal are verboten!!! ;)

    ps – Not enough people know who Kim Deal is. :( I love that you and Cherryberry do. I’ve just decided we’re all interweb besties.

  12. tiki says:

    that last picture–why is she checking if her deoderant’s still working? did the front row pass out?

  13. TaylorB says:

    Who is this person and why is she famous?

    As for folks like her, and several other notables (who shall remain nameless as their fans will attack) who talk about and flaunt their private sex lives with the MEDIA (I just did it in a Limo, or a Cab, or in friends bathrooms, etc.) total bull sh*t; these are the same people who b*tch about their ‘privacy’. Seems to me that the only people I know men/women who professed they were the best lovers ever (to everyone who would listen) couldn’t be sure where they were going and what to do when they got there.

    In my opinion, and only my opinon, a true mistress or master of the bedroom (and looks have nothing to do with talent) would never brag about their talents or situations, they wouldn’t need to do so.

    It bothers me that some celebs brag about their sex lives, yet complain that they have no privacy. What is more private than a sexual relationship? Or have times changes so much? Intimate Sex is grist for the mill, but weight is taboo?

  14. fashionfreak says:

    i really want to know what this girl is trying to accomplish

  15. mollination says:

    Oh man sasha, you pinned it on the head. Momson needs to just do her own thing and shut up – she’s going to be so embarrassed in a few years (assuming she ever actually grows self-awareness and humility).

  16. malachais says:

    After three seasons of looking like a panda-faced whore, Taylor Momsen and her ratty-ass hair extensions slunk off to the sidelines of Gossip Girl this year. But, guys, guys, she’s got, like, a record now, and you will just be shocked, shocked! by her sexy, scandalous non-thoughts. -Love it!!

  17. Kaiser says:

    MissyA & Cherryberry – I was trying to think of the hardest bitches that I loved growing up (and still love today), and Shirley Manson & Kim Deal were who I thought of. I’m not trying to compare – I was trying to say that Taylor is SO not worthy.

    More people should love Kim Deal! She’s so awesome.

  18. Jackson says:

    Her again? Ugh.
    Does anyone know if this girl is emancipated? Does she have at least one parent who keeps tabs on her? Oy.

  19. lucy2 says:

    Panda faced whore. LOVE it.

    She’s so desperate for attention and shock value, it’s pathetic.

  20. LindyLou says:

    Ten years from now, I hope she looks back on all of the stupid interviews she did and gets horribly embarrassed. Or maybe she will just morph into the next Lindsay Lohan…..then she will deny they ever happened!

  21. Cam says:

    @GrnMtGirl my thoughts exactly.

  22. cherryberry says:

    So in the interest of being (somewhat) informed, I just listened to a couple of her songs. Meh. Boring and trite though better than some of the stuff thats out there right now. Definitely nothing special.

    MissyA&Kaiser- I have never been a huge fan of Ms Manson but I did see Garbage open for the Smashiing Pumpkins and she had an incredible stage presence and voice. Much more impressive (to me) live than on an album. I was fortunate enough to see the Pixies on their reunion tour and Kim Deal was AWESOME! I’m seeing them again in Spetember and can’t wait. Alas, I have never seen The Breeders and probably never will. Sigh.

  23. Jewbitch says:

    I can’t stand the girl. But I will say, *if* she’s ‘sick of men’ and truly is using a vibrator all the time, I say great! Better than sleeping around. It’s safe, clean, and doesn’t talk about her the morning after to the tabloids. Now she just needs to shut up about it. And if I was her mother, I’d be real proud. Not.

  24. andrea says:

    sasha – omg, she IS mena suvari in american beauty. i wouldve thought her bff was her fing eyeshadow.

    maybe she’s onto something with that eye makeup. i wouldnt have to worry about dark circles anymore. just cover your entire eye socket area with black makeup. done and done.

  25. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Do you think it hurts to be so f*n hardcore? I’m gonna say this is a fail b/c Angelina Jolie was probably pleasuring herself with a samurai sword at that age. Try again, Momsen.

  26. Allie says:

    @dreadpiratecuervo

    “Angelina Jolie was probably pleasuring herself with a samurai sword at that age.”

    LOL. Well said.

  27. MissyA says:

    Cherryberry – I was infatuated with Ms Manson since the 6th grade. Her intellectual, charismatic, “take-no-prisoners” type of badassity was a stark contrast to the prefabricated pop female that was heavily circulated during my middle school/high school development. That and she’s a “hometown” hero. You don’t generally see very many articulate feminists as role models in rural Wisconsin.

    In fact, in the spirit of inappropriate adolescent divulgence – I’d totally slam that. (Yeah, I know. Electra Complex, much?) I get a free pass to hit on her from Mr. Missy, and seeing how we’re in Madison at least once a year, I feel like I have a decent shot. . .

    I’m incredibly jealous you got to see the Pixies last year. As it happens, I was visiting home in Wisconsin when they played Mile High. I told my father that my forsaking The Pixies better be taken as a deep and symbolic gesture of my love for him – he just laughed and said he’ll plan to visit me when Petty or Dylan plays at Red Rocks. Assh*le. ;)

    My beloved knows that I have two conditions upon impregnation. (Well, two for the sake of this argument, anyway.) 1 – I’m going to need a vintage XL Breeders t-shirt for the third trimester. 2 – The kid’s middle name will be Francis or Pixie, depending on gender. (I own everything The Pixies ever recorded and I have a Debaser tattoo. There’s really no getting around this.)

  28. Kitten says:

    Perhaps if Sarah Palin had expounded upon the joys of a vibrator to her child then we wouldn’t be faced with the looming threat of a Bristol/Levi reality show.
    Much can be learned from Panda Momsen!

  29. Liana says:

    Her parents must be so proud.

  30. TQB says:

    Can we make Panda Momsen happen? PLEASE???? We need this.

  31. yeahRight says:

    Does anyone agree that her “badass” *snicker* racoon look is nothing more than a cheap ripoff of Daryl Hannah’s character in Bladerunner?

    http://www.filmdope.com/Gallery/ActorsH/7393-1925.gif

    Wow, talented AND original too!

  32. WednesdayGirl says:

    If Taylor Momsen really wants to be so hardcore, she needs to go look at Diamanda Galas. Now that woman is effin’ HARDCORE! Seriously people, go look at a few pictures of her and hear some of her music. Taylor is tame compared to her.

  33. yeahRight says:

    @WednesdayGi

    I just Googled Diamanda Galas. You’re right, she does have a similar look and quite a hardcore sound. Her voice just fractured my glass watch cover.

  34. serena says:

    oh fuck, I’m sick of seeing her pants, vadge or whatever.. please put something on!

  35. Gail says:

    I gave her a chance. I listened to some of the songs. It’s kind of sweet that she thinks her shit is edgy. She’s just young, she still has time to get a clue. Unfortunately that’s not very likely. If she’s making any kind of money she’ll be catered to and always told that she’s right.

  36. MightyMouse says:

    My oh my, I thought I was the only one who loved Kim Deal. Kim is/was truly an artist but definitely would not be accessible to anyone under 30 (I just gave away my age!)

  37. rachelmgcil says:

    does her voice even sound good?

  38. Gail says:

    No. She sounds exactly like every other little teen queen that ever came down the pike.

  39. Claire78 says:

    Kim Deal is so so super cool. This girl doesn’t have the charisma of a chair. Its embarassing that she is saying this kind of stuff – she is 16!! Its quite sad. Obviously deep down doesn’t think she is significant enough and is trying way too hard to make people notice her. Yuk

  40. LolaBella says:

    Aww, poor little Tay Tay trying to convince the masses that she is soooo fuckin’ edgy ya’ll. LOL.

    That said, she could be a drugged out, sexually promiscuous famewhore, so I GUESS the fact that her vibrator is her best friend is the lesser of two evils. Sigh. :roll:

  41. Emily says:

    Is it even legal for a 16yo to buy a vibrator in the states? I had to wait till I was 18 to go to a sex shop here in Melbourne.

  42. GatsbyGal says:

    Hey, if I had had access to a vibrator at age 16, it would’ve been my best friend too. The night after I turned 18, you better believe I went to the Megaplexxx.

  43. Isa says:

    She probably doesn’t have a problem getting around the 18 or older rule since she also smokes.

  44. Kelly says:

    Shirley Manson- totally! The same potty mouth talent-free look at me everyone bollocks. I remember back when she was on Scottish TV practically licking toilet bowls for the attention.

    Kim Deal? You are DEAD to ME! Kim is the anti-momsen. Anathema. Do you even know who Kim is? Jeez!

  45. Kazoo81 says:

    is 16 considered an adult in ny? if not, where aren’t cps breaking down her parents’ door?!

  46. Emily says:

    @Isa, true, but from my experience, it’s a lot easier to get around that when buying fags, cause you can always just ask an older friend/sibling to get them. Buying a vibrator, I wouldn’t trust my friends to know what I like!

  47. ShyShy says:

    i must admit im a little J fan in GG but i think she gone off the deep end in fact she is starting to be an annoying attention seeker like Spencer on the Hills also a few tips: less make up wouldn’t hurt, just improve you so you don’t look like you escaped from the panda exhibit at the zoo and next time please wear a longer dress no one wants to see in between your legs

  48. di butler says:

    Stealing from Michael K, but “panda faced whore” should be today’s phrase that pays. I know we all are going to steal that one.

  49. Jillian says:

    Um, I’m all for de-stigmatization of female sexuality, but she’s a little late to the game. 1971, indeed. Hah.

    I had I vibrator when I was sixteen too (that was 2 years ago) but I didn’t go around telling everyone about it! Honestly. This kid has no sense of propriety.

  50. Julia says:

    Yeah, I’m all for freedom of sexuality and de-stigmatizing masturbation (especially as it pertains to women), but she needs to stfu. It’s not cute and it’s not sexy. She annoys me so much it makes me throw up a little bit.

    Some people really do mature faster than others, so I’m not going to make a blanket statement that no 16 year old can have deep thoughts, but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that unless you are a refugee from a war-torn country, your “shit that sucks” is going to seem small potatoes real soon.

    I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again, but the best thing about growing older is the realization that nobody cares about your so-called “sucky” life. Pick your battles. People have limited attention and emotional energy to spend on sympathy for you, and I have none for this trick.

  51. Noriko Takaya says:

    Hee hee! Aw lay off her, I think she’s cute (no not like THAT, you perverts)! Tryin’ to be all hardcore an’ sheet. When I was her age I was just as ditz; thank god no one was following ME around with a camera…

  52. eternalcanadian says:

    if teenagers had ready access to sex toys and the pleasure that is self-loving i am sure they wouldn’t feel the need to have sex because they’d be getting getting off without stds or pregnancy!

    vive le sex toys!

  53. Majosha says:

    @WednesdayGi: Hear, hear! Diamanda is in a class by herself. I’ll never forget the first time I heard her sing — absolutely mind blowing. I didn’t expect to cross paths with a fellow Galas admirer on a celeb gossip site — what an excellent surprise!

  54. Cazzyb-uk says:

    Hey They’re Robert Smiths eyes from Lullaby, get your own ideas Momsen.

  55. Meanchick says:

    Ah, the old “say dumb s**t for shock value” trick! It’s been done and by better skanks than you! Where are the parents of this pile of teenage roadkill? Seems her only talent is wearing Lil Kim’s castoffs and repeating the stuff she read off some porn site. Imitate much? I’d refer to her face as ‘Mrs. Salad Fingers,’ but then that would be an insult to Salad Fingers!