Shia LaBeouf can’t score

Shia LaBeouf may make us average girls swoon with his mildly rebellious ways, but drunken drug store standoffs and a wanton disregard for smoking laws are not enough to impress hardened NY City women. Page Six claims that the baby-faced Transformers star failed to pick up any women at an exclusive hipster spot in the West Village. He was clearly out of his league and was said to have made a pitiful site:

SHIA LaBeouf may be a full-fledged movie star, but it’s not enough to impress the picky types who hold court at hotspot Beatrice Inn. One recent night, spies say LaBeouf was “desperately seeking a lady . . . but none of the hipster hotties were standing for it.” Our onlooker snickered that he finally turned to one woman and whined a line that will send any guy home solo: “How do I get a girl to go home with me?”

[From Page Six]

Poor Shia needs to turn it up a notch and act like the unapproachable movie star all his 14 year-old fans think he is. Maybe once the new Raiders of the Lost Ark movie comes out he’ll be more recognized and won’t have such a hard time picking up chicks. He needs some guy advice though, and it’s not like Harrison Ford is going to teach him how to score. He’s starring in a thriller called Eagle Eye with Billy Bob Thornton, which is out this fall. You know that Thornton could teach him a thing or two about how to work the celebrity angle. He had Angelina Jolie eating out of his grubby hands, and he’s not particularly attractive. Billy Bob’s most convincing role was as a touched guy, with a drunken mall santa coming in a close second. You don’t need looks to land the ladies if you’re rich and famous I reckon, mmm hmmm.

You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

20 Responses to “Shia LaBeouf can’t score”

Comments are Closed

We close comments on older posts to fight comment spam.

  1. neelyo says:

    Well judging from that picture I can see why he couldn’t score. He’s just not that attractive. And unless he’s grown up a bit from his days on that PROJECT GREENLIGHT show, he’s got the personality to match.

    And Billy Bob has been sexy in movies before. He made me swoon in MONSTER’S BALL. Is that wrong of me?

  2. Syko says:

    I was swooning right along with you, neelyo. I think Billy Bob is far and away better looking than Shia. Who in the heck names a boy Shia anyway?

    Mostly I think it’s because Shia looks like a young boy, and Billy Bob looks like a man.

  3. Ceenitall says:

    Shia, might have something to do with the outfit, and the shoes really need to go!

  4. headache says:

    Everytime I want to think Billy Bob is hot, I think of Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer handling him hin Tombstone. Cures that right away.

  5. Scott F. says:

    “and it’s not like Harrison Ford is going to teach him how to score.”

    Excuse me? Granted, it’s a bit dated, but I remember when I was growing up that my mother and all her friends thought this guy was the sexiest thing under the sun. Him and Sean Connery. God… I am getting old aren’t I?

  6. Syko says:

    Scott F. – not nearly so old as me, whose daughters thought Harrison was Hott in the good ol’ Star Wars days. Of course he’s my age, so they were going for the older man crush. Or something.

  7. Sasha says:

    Because he’s Shia LaFruit, duuhhhhh….

  8. Amanda says:

    If I was single, he could have me. And Harrison Ford could probably steal me from my hubby if he wanted too!

  9. Charity says:

    Harrison can have me anyway towards Sunday if he wanted…. oh baby!

    Shia’s a cutie I don’t see what the issue is!

  10. Ashley says:

    I have no clue whatsoever what the problem could be! TAKE ME, SHIA!!! I’ve liked him since ‘Even Stevens’ & he’s only gotten better. Those chicks must be outta their mind, they’ll be kicking themselves later!

  11. Bodhi says:

    Harrison, Billy Bob, Shia… I wouldn’t turn any of them down!

    I hope Shia stays a chill little stoner…

  12. amee says:

    maybe because-apart from the atrocious look he’s sporting in that photo, i know him from his “even stevens” days and loved him so much in that show i’d feel like a paedophile for going out with him!

  13. The Observer says:



    ( I mean all those millions o’dollars and can’t find something to wear that does not make it look like it was bought at a pawn shop or flea market, I mean C’mooon! ) 🙄

    -The Observer

    Shakira Mebarak still owes me money.

  14. xxx says:

    Confidence, confidence, confidence. He’s still an unexperienced youth trying to find out who he is. I just hope he doesn’t get into drugs. He’s cute for a little (young) guy.

  15. :) says:

    I believe the point the author was trying to make about Harrison Ford is that he never had any trouble scoring chicks because of his insane hotness–6’4”, manly, played Han Solo in those tight pants/boots combo, played sweaty sex-God Indiana Jones. If Shia needs advice, he needs to go to the ugly guys who know how to score hot chicks 🙂

  16. Michelle says:

    Maybe because he wears old man cardigans, has no shoulders and sports weird facial hair. Just saying… 🙄

  17. da gal says:

    well shia aint that cute, plus his outfit sucks, especially those pants and shoes!

  18. bethany says:

    excuse me!he looks so damn hot in that photo im melting!wat evs i dont give a shit wat u think anyway. 😡 ❗

  19. Angel says:

    He is really cute!!:-*

  20. jealousy says:

    He is sexy! I think he’s attracted to snobbby girls. If Shia asked me out I’d say “Yes”!