Paris Hilton dresses up like a trashy Marilyn Monroe for her ‘Tease’ perfume launch


I know, I hate covering Paris Hilton in general, but sometimes it’s a little fun, in the same way it’s fun in a cheap, easy, gross way to cover the Kardashians. Paris Hilton launched her new perfume last night in LA. The perfume is called “Tease”. Because Paris is a “tease” – get it? Because we don’t know ANYTHING about her, because we can’t read her big, dumb face like an open book, because she’s such a woman of mystery and enchantment. I wish she would have a sense of humor about herself and call the perfume “Trash with Money” or “Unemployed” or “Oxygen Thief”. Alas, Paris never takes my suggestions.

Anyway, I wanted to take about how Paris looked for the launch. Did she get a boob job? Or are her girls just jacked up beyond belief? I don’t honestly think chicken cutlets and the best push up bra in the world could make Paris look this boob-tastic. Also: the Marilyn thing. She’s done it a million times before, as has Lindsay Lohan and a million other girls. Why don’t these women ever realize that they’re grossly slandering their beloved icon? When I see Paris looking like a Botoxy 40-year-old prostitute with a Marilyn fetish, I don’t think “Oh, Marilyn would be so proud.” I think, “Poor Marilyn, look at what you’ve become for generations of celebutards.”

One more thing: is this a wig? If it’s a wig, it’s a really good one.



Paris on August 10, 2010. Credit: WENN.

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49 Responses to “Paris Hilton dresses up like a trashy Marilyn Monroe for her ‘Tease’ perfume launch”

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  1. Fluffy Kitten Tail says:

    She looks 10 times older than MM ever did, and isn’t this MM thing a little over done? Let’s try to be original for change. The only one who can pull off MM, is MM. She’s gone, let’s move on.

  2. Eve says:

    She will make anything look trashy. If she dresses like a pile of garbage, she will manage to look less elegant than the garbage itself.

  3. Jean says:

    This drag queen looks just like Paris Hilton.

  4. Katalina says:

    Did Paris get some new boobs? Either that or this is the world’s greatest bra.

  5. veronica says:

    her nose creeps me out. i want to take a pair of scissors and cut the bottom part off.

  6. MARKYMARK says:

    What I like about this is this whole thing (including the perfume) smells like desparation. She’s been getting less & less press lately & no one is missing her so she’s dressing in drag & putting out this “STINK” while slowly sinking into irrelevance..YOU GO GIRL-right into obscurity

  7. Solveig says:

    The commercial:

    Smells like yeast infection”

  8. womanfromthenorth says:

    More like Zsa Zsa than MM to me. And I don’t think its a bra, it’s the spandex dress… wow

    And if the makeup had been really fiftys she might have pulled it off.

    And yes she seems to be losing ground to the Dash crew.

  9. bnice says:

    Well, she still looks better than Lohan did trying it…*shiver*

    This is a wig–you can see the light color that is too pale to be her scalp. But, the color matches her natural hair exactly, and they’ve left a tiny bit out in the front to blend it all together.

  10. Toe says:

    Is that a wig?

  11. bnice says:

    Oops…should have said “natural” hair. :D

  12. Steeze says:

    yes, wig.

    no, just a smushing the boobs really tight against her chest. looks painful.

    shes a disease.

  13. meme says:

    More like transvestite Marilyn. Blasphemy!

  14. Jean says:

    What I find funny and revealing about this whole generation of so-called “stars”, Lindsay Lohan and Megan Fox in particular, is that they seem to think the mere association or mention of MM would catapult them into her sphere of glamor, beauty and eroticism.
    They seem to emulate MM, because she was, during her day, probably the most celebrated actress in the world.
    If they were really interested in acting, the craft itself, as opposed to just “being loved by the whole world” why aren’t they copying Kate Hepburn?

  15. Hautie says:

    I suspect that is wonder bra, sticky tape and chicken cutlets. All squeezed into that spandex dress.

    I do recall Paris mentioning years ago, that she would not get a boob job. Cause her father said it would “cheapen” her image.

    Yea I know… like a boob job would make any difference now.

  16. Mu says:

    The “really good wig” comment was a joke, right? It’s horribly glued to her head. yuck.

  17. Katie says:

    “Oxygen Theif” is pretty damn priceless.

  18. OMG says:

    Dear Paris, even if you wear a paper grocery bag over your head…your attempts to get attention are pointless. No one cares about your ugly face. Now please go away!

  19. whitedaisy says:

    I see she has attempted to have the wonk eye strategically covered by a wig curl…..

  20. Tanya Degano says:

    Wow, as much as I love Paris, she looks a bit like a man in these shots!
    Also, no matter what, she’s never going to sink into obscurity…

  21. Tia C says:

    This attempt at a Marilyn homage just ends up being an insult. Everything looks so tacky. The makeup is horrid.

    I thought the “really good wig” comment was a joke, too, Mu. It looks really obvious to me. Also obvious is that her boobs are just smooshed by the one-two punch of a push-up bra and an uber-tight spandex dress. No boob job here.

    It sure would be nice to see Paris do something useful with her money and social position/advantages. I’m not holding my breath though!

  22. Sandy says:

    She looks like a tranny. I’m not even being mean. I don’t have to. I would swear this woman has a penis

  23. Sumodo1 says:

    It would be funnier if she were parodying ZsaZsa Gabor! That’s the first thing that came into my mind!

    New perfume by Paris Hilton, eh? Just what the world needs, just like another bad tranny MM “homage.”

  24. BabyCakes says:

    The lace front is glued so horrendously to her forehead. The point of those wigs is to make it undetectable. The orange tan, the ton of makeup.. You know she has someone telling her that she looks great. Blech! It’s deffo a push up because there is no volume at the sides they are literally pushed together. Keep trying I guess.. your 15 min was up a long time ago. Why is she still making news?

  25. lucy2 says:

    LOL Jean.

    She looks like a skanky old grandma (no offense to grandmas).

  26. lolo says:

    Look at her hands.. Yuck, Madonna’s look even better

  27. danielle says:

    Sure, she’d look like Marilyn…if Marilyn was jacked in the face! How does anyone think this chick is pretty?!?

  28. Cam says:

    Oh god, this girl’s trying TOO hard. No, wait… she’s not trying THAT hard, if that was the case she would have come up with an original idea. Urgh… you can smell her desperation, and yes that’s what her new perfume is all about.

  29. Melissa says:

    WAY TOO MUCH make-up!!!!

  30. Green Is Good says:

    Oh, *retch*. ENOUGH with copying MM already. This sh*t is old and tired. ANd unoriginal.

    If Lowhan and Wonky McValtrex are soooo inspired by MM, why don’t they take acting lessons at the Lee Strasberg Institute? Or finish high school. Or visit the Troops on the front. Or ANYTHING that’s not self-serving, Narcissistic, and immature.

  31. original kate says:

    marilyn monroe was a beautiful, sexy and talented woman. paris hilton is…not. that is all.

  32. NayNay says:

    She should be disowned by her parents for being such an embarrassment to society. She is so desperate and pathetic.

    Marilyn Monroe was a sex object, Paris is just an OBJECT.

  33. Lushus L. says:

    Please, let’s not bring poor Zsa Zsa Gabor into this. That is blasphemy even though she WAS married to Conrad Hilton! ;-)

  34. Kazoo81 says:

    LOVE the herve leger dress.

    the wig is terrible and very easy to spot where her hair ends and the wig begins.

  35. Ron says:

    She has a wig line in her hair! HAHAHAHAHA she needs to get in touch with a half assed drag queen to help her out with that. Fail.

  36. Jover says:

    Yes, only MM could do MM; although madge’s 80s rendition wasn’t bad and avoided self-parody or skankiness. Jean, LiHo, Megafarse and these other no talents can’t study Kate Hepburn because they’ve probably don’t know who she is – that would require intellect,knowledge and being interested in things other than yourself. NAyNay I’ll go further, PH isn’t even an object; she’s pimple on the rear end of humanity and she needs popped and emptied down the sink. Yes, it’s crude but she is a total, total, total waste – I don’t think all the posters to this site, if they put their collective intelligence together, could find a single redeeming quality to her anymore.

  37. Rio says:

    Wow, she looks like a NYC society wife.
    A 70-year-old one with tons of plastic surgery, that is.

  38. J says:

    Who are these people who are actually buying her perfumes??? Obviously they must be selling if she’s able to come out with so many varieties. Truly mind-boggling.

  39. serena says:


    She’s so horrible, old fashioned and all. Poor Marilyn, really.
    This definitely seems like a boob-job.

    Anyway the only one I can think of fitting Marilyn style is Christina Aguilera.

  40. mia says:

    she looks ridiculous.
    and yes, def. had a boob job and the face looks about 15 yrs older than last year.
    I thought she was finally out of the news for good… makes me sad she isnt :(

  41. sashavice says:

    OMG can’t these bitches be a little more creative? So sick of EVERY trashy little broad thinking she can be Marilyn. YA CANT!!

  42. sashavice says:

    I looked at the first picture again and busted out laughing. The funniest part is, she thinks she looks good.

  43. CB Rawks says:

    At least she has that great bra on for her Marilyn impersonation, unlike Lindsay’s saggy socks full of sand.

  44. BeeCee says:

    We all know you don’t have natural blue eyes Paris, those contacts don’t look sexy or cute or good

    …Knock it off you silly little girl

  45. labyrinth says:

    Who in hell is buying her perfume?

  46. Brittney says:

    She idolizes Marilyn because emulating that trademark side-swoop of hair is the only fashionable way to hide her left eye.

  47. Brittney says:

    Also, I submitted a paragraphs-long tip to Celebitchy awhile ago about this that apparently wasn’t news-worthy enough (and I don’t blame them), but I saw Paris a few times in Vegas this April, and I am DELIGHTED that I didn’t recognize her the first time. I took a picture of a celebrity who was walking with her (Adrian Grenier), rolling my eyes at the “blond floozy” on his arm and dismissing my semi-crush on him. Validates my opinion that she’s just a dime-a-dozen stereotype who happened to be born rich and make a sex tape.

  48. Rebecca says:

    Whoa, where did those tits come from?

  49. Truthzbetta says:

    Rupaul’s Dragulator went too far this time.