Lindsay Lohan will likely be a free crackhead within 24 hours (update: now?)


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Break out the pipes! Break out the Jello shooters. Break out the coke cut with Adderall, Ritalin and Oxycontin. The crackhead will be free! Maybe. According to TMZ, Judge Hamlet (Elden Fox) decided that he wasn’t going to pronounce some “mystery sentence” on Lindsay Lohan today, and instead he will make his ruling tomorrow morning (PST). Most sources are verifying that Judge Fox will FREE THE CRACKHEAD.

Lindsay Lohan may be a free woman in 24 hours … based on new developments in the case.

As TMZ first reported, all signs are pointing to Lindsay Lohan being released from UCLA this week — and we’re hearing it will happen tomorrow. Judge Elden Fox has decided not to issue an order today, but rather he will make a decision tomorrow at 8:30 AM PT.

As we’ve told you, the doctors at UCLA think Judge Marsha Revel’s mandate that Lindsay spend 90 days in rehab is excessive, and they are recommending an early release.

Sources tell us going into last weekend, the plan was for a Wednesday release, and all signs now point to Judge Fox releasing Lindsay tomorrow morning and ordering outpatient care.

[From TMZ]

It’s going to be quite a party, as you can imagine. Actually, I have no idea how bad Lindsay’s celebrations will be. Lindsay should get together with Tiger Woods and maybe they can split the costs of their orgies/celebrations/crackfests together.

Anyway, just prepare yourself. I’m imagining Judge Fox looks like Liam Neeson in Clash of the Titans, and it will be decreed in a booming Zeus voice “Release the Crackhead!” And Lindsay will rage up “RRREEEE!!!” like The Kraken.

Also: these are photos of Lindsay from last year… I’m trying to ease all of us into seeing her crackface in full force again.

UPDATE: Radar is reporting that Lindsay has already signed her release papers and could be leaving UCLA Medical Center momentarily (this is as of 5:30 p.m. EST). Stand by, crackheads!

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Lindsay Lohan on September 6 & October 4 & 6, 2009. Credit: Fame.

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55 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan will likely be a free crackhead within 24 hours (update: now?)”

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  1. Innocent says:

    Those pics of her in the white dress are absolutely horrific.

    The sentence especially the 90 days of rehab without an evaluation first taking place was excessive. It is clear this Judge was too involved in this case.
    Her friends are throwing her a get out of rehab party lol

    @Tracy
    No more SCRAM bracelet and her lawyer is trying to get the formal probation removed.

  2. TQB says:

    Innocent, honestly, do you believe this stuff or are you just playing devil’s advocate here? I’m serious – either way is fine and in fact it’s more interesting with your point of view, I’m just curious.

  3. mln says:

    the California justice system has pretty much proved itself to be useless. And I was hoping for another month or two without hearing from this Little bitch

  4. mr. stinky fishface says:

    I give her a month before an OD.

  5. Kate says:

    Assuming UCLA is correct and Lindsay really doesn’t have a substance abuse problem, or at least one that isn’t as significant as we all thought, that just makes her all the more disgusting and loathsome. If she were a cracked out meth head or whatever, at least she could blame the drugs (partially) for her behavior. Now, apparently, it is just who she is. A complete and utter waste of space void of any redeeming qualities.

  6. yourmom says:

    “RELEASE THE CRACKHEAD!!”

    Kaiser, you just made my day :)

  7. Innocent says:

    @TQB
    The D.A was only asking for 30 days in jail and the Judge tripled it. She then had to recuse hersellf and there was allegations that she was seeking out places that were going to be harder on Lindsay.
    The sentence she got for missing a few classes was extraordinary while on probation for misdemeanors. It wasn’t like she got another DUI or failed any drug tests.
    She will be free tomorrow anyway after 39 days out of 180 and this just highlights how wrong the sentence was.

  8. roxi says:

    Kate, I’m in total agreement.

  9. I’m DYING @ “release the crackhead!”

  10. emu says:

    just curious, when did celebrity become synonymous with grotesque? it’s an interesting phenomenon.

  11. lucy2 says:

    LOL Kaiser!
    I’d love a condition of early release to be that she isn’t allowed to profit from this, but I doubt it.
    Whatever happens, I don’t think it will matter. If she gets any money from interviews, she’ll blow it. If she gets any acting jobs, she’ll be awful or get fired. If she’s taken off probation, she’ll get trashed and do something else stupid. She’s a mess surrounded by enablers, and I agree Kate – if she can’t blame her behavior on drugs, it is loathsome.

  12. Obvious says:

    @Innocent, is LiLo wasn’t famous she would have served hard time LONG before this AND had mandatory rehab. I think Revel may have been a bit involved, but at least she cared enough to teach LiLo her actions have consequences and try to get her serious help with rehab-was it excessive? Yes-now that we’re told she “isn’t” on drugs-but most of us couldn’t and still can’t comprehend someone doing all this crap without being on them.

    I’m still team Revel.

  13. Nudgie says:

    I thought Lindsay had gotten out last night after seeing the “Paris Hilton was almost knifed” headline.

    Oh well…

  14. TQB says:

    @Innocent, you’re avoiding the question. I wasn’t trying to be clever, I was genuinely curious.

  15. hellen says:

    The sooner she’s out, the sooner she will relapse (because OF COURSE SHE’S ADDICTED) and the sooner she will OD. I say, bring it.

  16. Jeri says:

    Supposedly she’ll still be under out patient care. Supposedly. Maybe they’ll do better then her last out treatment center, like actually have her attend meetings.

  17. Innocent says:

    @TQB
    I don’t get what you mean
    Yes i believe the Judge was extremely harsh and excessive and not just because i’m a fan.
    This was the same Judge who decided to delay her vacation just so she could personally see Lindsay in court. When she had already set the bail conditions, Lindsay had already met the bail amount and a stand in could have easily applied them.
    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/stacy-schneider/no-justice-no-jail-for-li_b_589761.html

  18. aenflex says:

    Celebs seem to always get better treatment from the justice system. But what are you complaining about? Anyone actually wanna be in her shoes right now?

  19. original kate says:

    so when she ODs on a deadly combo of drinking vodka redbulls & snorting vicodin all night at the chateau marmont it definitely won’t be because she’s an addict. because she isn’t. apparently.

  20. Ruby Red Lips says:

    Here comes the media crazyness with ‘poor’ LiLo getting $1 mill + for fake sobbing self-pitying ‘I’ve seen the light’ cr*p

    Until the next drug blowout and alcohol binge – which I’ll give it 2 months max

  21. Whatever!! says:

    OUTpatient rehab isn’t going to work for her. She needs hard core electro-shock therapy. Okay maybe that excessive. But keeping her in rehab for 90 days was smart. Dumb new judge. She needs to relocate to a small new Mexican town or visit Johnny Depps Island for a bit and get away from the parting and paps. This girl will be dead in 2 Years if she comes out behaving in the same way as she did before.

  22. Ruby Red Lips says:

    & I mean

    Just look at the girl….

    How can a 24 year old ‘non-addict’ look like that?!

  23. gg says:

    Oh, found another loophole, did she. huzzah. :roll:

  24. Leek says:

    Even worse than actual prison time is the sentence of her face aging 20 years in the matter of two or three. She looks like what Charlize tried to look like in Monster.

  25. moe says:

    The bigger and most important question should be How long before we are free from seeing her grotesque crackhead face everywhere? That girl is just GROSS.

  26. Moreaces says:

    That top picture looks older than me, and im 44, sad

  27. mm says:

    I still say a giant THANK YOU to Judge Marsha. I love that woman!

    Too bad Celebitchy kind of ruined our vacation from Lindsay by posting old photos of her EVERY SINGLE DAY. Enough already, they were bad enough the first time!

  28. LindaR says:

    Wow. Having not seen too much of her while she was in jail and rehab and now seeing her again makes me realize I don’t want to see her anymore ever. Like Paris Hilton, I wish that she and the publicity machine that is Lindsay Lohan would just go away.

  29. BrandyMc says:

    @ Nudgie: no, that was kim kardashawho!

  30. Novaraen says:

    Her drug addiction is as plain as the very deep set lines on her cracked out face. That girl is doing some rough stuff to mess up her looks that bad.

    I too am team Judge Revel!! If only the other judges could actually try to teach these entitled Hollywood brats a lesson like she did.

  31. wunderkindt says:

    Regardless of whatever legal flukes are happening now, Lindsay will be back in trouble soon because of her notion that she is entitled to be above the law.

  32. Majosha says:

    @Kate: Excellent post, and I agree in full.

  33. GatsbyGal says:

    Wasn’t there a celebrity like in the 80s and 90s or something who was either let out of rehab or prison, then immediately got so wasted that he OD’d and died? I know that happened to someone.

  34. princecastillo says:

    God i swear these hospitals are also star struck-90 days in rehab might have seperated the crackie long enough from her horrific parents and various other enablers to where she might have got clean and stayed clean…
    Its sorta sad if it werent so infuriating…
    Also the people saying the sentence is harsh-sorry what planet are you living on?
    Shes had plenty of chances and had she been an average Jo would have served far more time but more than that-she needs to get clean and this Judge Marsha did the right thing and might have just saved her life…
    I can guarantee that her freaking attorney got the doctors to say that shes not an addict because shes currently uninsurable on a film set and this will at least mean theres a chance that a studio could get insurance on her albiet at a huge premium…

  35. logan says:

    Who??????????????

  36. Betty says:

    yea, who?????????????????

  37. BethL says:

    These aren’t crack photos. They are awful cosmetic procedures photos. If it was a celebrity rehab like Promises or Cirque Lodge saying she wasn’t using drugs I would call them liars but UCLA isn’t a patsy rehab. It’s a real, hardcore center. Lindsay desperately needs counseling and a personality intervention but it doesn’t seem like she’s currently a hardcore drug user. She just sucks.

  38. fugly says:

    heck yeah hellen, and right-o original kate.

  39. buenavissta says:

    I’m glad I’m not the only person who isn’t buying the “not an addict” thing. I’m very curious about how she was assessed.

  40. Crash2GO2 says:

    Holy sh*t! She’s only 1 hour north of me! I’d better skedaddle.

  41. Innocent says:

    She is out according to Radar

  42. Solveig says:

    Yeah, I’m pretty sure she’s learned the lesson… (sarcasm)
    As somebody said “I’m responsible for what I do unless I’m a celebrity”

  43. AmyWinelake says:

    Jeepers, I am 7 years older than her and I look positively teen aged next to it! For shame!

  44. jc126 says:

    She’s out. WHY let her go early? Why not give her the full 90 days?

  45. Confuzzle says:

    Whoooohooo! Quick everyone, grab the bags of crack, she needs us more now than ever! Let’s throw her a welcome party! :lol:

    I’ve missed you, Liho. Get back to your cracked out ways stat. Celebrity news has been quite dull without you.

  46. CB Rawks says:

    @Innocent, I really don’t know what to make of you, but I hope you aren’t in charge of any young minds. Don’t be a teacher or a parent.
    When Lindsay goes nuts and glasses someone in the face and then runs them over with her car, we’ll expect to see you back here explaining why it’s someone else’s fault.

  47. DrM says:

    Dear CB – can we PLEASE put a moratorium on all things Lohan??? PLEASE!!! Don’t make me beg… LOL Seriously I am so over this child…

  48. Camille says:

    BethL: I agree with you completely.

  49. bellaluna says:

    Time will tell how “addicted” Blohan is, now that she’s regained her freedom. Dependent upon how much she celebrates, I’m sure we’ll be seeing lots & lots of pap pix of her out partying. She’ll be falling into cacti again in no time!

  50. Ме says:

    And the d3ath pool starrrrrrrrts… NOW!

  51. gem says:

    2 be a celebwhore and have all the perks early releases and easy rehab/jailtime million $$ interviews for being a damn druggie, wow woe is me right now

  52. gem says:

    @innocent hi lindsay how was rehab? feeling better i hope they weren’t too mean to you. we here @ CB wouldn’t want you to ever feel like you’ve done anything wrong, we all knew you weren’t guilty to begin with. *kanye shrug*

  53. Lindsay has to remain sober or she’ll be back to prison … For 30 days … That`s tough

  54. Addiction is a dark place and when addiction has consumed your life or the life of a loved one,

  55. yaxontov says:

    honestly before she vygledela better!