And to think, when I saw this Star Magazine cover this morning, I thought it was going to be another boring bullsh-t story. But it’s actually funny! Star hasn’t released anything online yet, but Jezebel had some absolutely hilarious excerpts from “Celebrity Assistants Tell All!” Here are some of the best pieces (operative word: toupee):
*Kourtney Kardasian makes her assistant ride in the trunk of her Range Rover when the car is full. She believes in a lot of old wives tales, like if you walk over a baby, it won’t grow, so she freaks out when Mason is on the floor.
*Khloe Kardashian sends her assistants to buy sex toys. Britney Spears talks in a baby voice all the time and throws lots of temper tantrums.
*Mariah Carey has taken to lying on the couch, having her assistant feed her pizza or ice cream, like she’s a toddler.
*Miley Cyrus is a flasher; she thinks it’s hilarious to greet first-time guests at the door and shock them by showing some skin.
*John Travolta has 102 hairpieces in different lengths, colors and sizes, in case he gains or loses weight. They have their own refrigerated room in his house. A source says: “He likes to visit and pet them once in a while. They’re his little treasures.”
[From Star Magazine via Jezebel]
The Travolta one still has my laughing, but the Mariah one is good too. At the end of the day, though, does the Mariah story really surprise anyone? I mean, don’t you just read that and think “Yes, of course.” I would be disappointed if Mariah did NOT get fed like a baby. But the Travolta one – “They’re his little treasures” is maybe the BEST LINE EVER. Second only to “He likes to visit and pet them once in a while.” Okay, I just snorted from laughter. “My precious…oh, my front weave. Preeee-shaaasss….”
Speaking of Travolta, Star does have a nicer little story online. According to their sources, Kelly is not pregnant with twins, just with one baby, and it’s a boy. Apparently, they’ve already had a (Xenu-themed?) baby shower. I would be coughing “Bullsh-t” right about now, but Star broke the story of Kelly’s pregnancy first, so I think they must have a decent source in the Travolta camp. And you know that ALSO means that we can take the refrigerated hairpiece story as motherf-cking gospel!
Here’s a closeup of one of Travolta’s treasured mesh fronts.
Travolta in NYC on Feb 2, and in Paris on Feb. 11, 2010. Credit: WENN. Star cover courtesy of Jezebel.
That is freakin hilarious. Love the “my precioussss” stuff. TFF!!
I dont see why, if you need a hair piece and you have Travolta’s fundage, you would go with the peninsula in front style.
NOOOOO!!
Not Danny Zuko!!
OT: Word of the day “Motherf*cker”
Since Kaiser used the word motherf*cker today, I want to leave you with art of using said word, courtesy of Bernie Mac (RIP):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9FaHXIhX_4
I wonder how bald he is, like a Trump comb over kind of bald or full on cue ball.
I can’t stop laughing about the hairpieces
LMAO! Tomorrow I’m going to pet my ponytail 😀
if he’s so bald I don’t know why he doesn’t just embrace it. he didn’t look too bad with a bald head in that punisher movie.. I think it was punisher.
does he take them to a groomer? lol
the maria one’s gotta be for real:
http://www.edrants.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/03/mariah_carey_straw1.jpg
Re: Bald Celebs…can’t they afford Bosley or whatever it’s called? What’s with all the bad rugs??
Also: I’ve been reading blind items about a Hollywood star who is only pretending to be pregnant, wearing an artificial baby bump (see D-Listed). Anyone else think it must be Kelly?
I’m sorry that John Travolta lost his son and then the tragedy with the dogs, but damn- the guy gives me the shudder-willies in the worst way. I don’t get a creepy vibe from his acting, I LOVED him in Hairspray- he was an awesome Edna, but J.T. the actual man is really creepy.
Ok, so i have a shaved head. The day I hit 30 my hair started to fall out fast. I had always had great thick hair and was not at all happy about this. So I looked into Bosley. They can do it, but there is so much maintenance that I passed. It cost’s about 20,000.00 and then you need to continue to do it every few years because the baldness is going to continue back further on your head. They suggested getting “updates” every 7-10 years at…20,000.00 a pop. So it’s very pricey if you want to do it right and there is always a bit of the “plug” look even now. My agent has had it done and honestly you can tell. He would bitch slap me for saying that. So.. I shaved my head at 32. It was one of the best decisions I have made.
These are funny, but I doubt they’re true. The fact is that celebrity assistants have to sign some pretty iron clad confidentiality agreements so disclosing shit like this would get them in serious trouble.
The one about Travolta’s hair-pieces made me LOL hard, but then I remembered how sexy he was in Grease with that lustrous head of hair and then I was just sad.
Damn, aging really is a motherf*@ker.
ETA: There was a movie recently where he was bald and he looked sexy bald!
I love me some bald men they are sexy, Michael Chiklis, Taye Diggs, Bruce Willis, Ed Harris (almost)…
“I will name this one George, and I will hug him, and pet him, and squeeze him…”
While I accept JT’s many hairpieces, I don’t believe the refrigerated room. IMO it should be temperate, but what’s to be expected from Star anyway?
Nanea,
Maybe, just maybe… his hair ‘weaves’ are kept in cold storage for preservation because they were the actual scalps of THEATEN filled people who shunned lord Xenu?!?!?!?! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry, just kidding. Maybe. :-0
people confirmed they’re having a boy
“They have their own refrigerated room in his house. He likes to visit and pet them once in a while.”
LMAO!! best quote EVAH.
oh, and i miss bernie mac,too.
C’mon, ya’ll don’t still believe Kelly Preston is really preggers, do ya? No one in H’wood believes this. Remember the blind item gossip from a month or so ago, about the A list celeb couple that was a a special event (big Scieno event) and her fake belly kept slipping down and she had to get her fitter to reglue it to her? Yeah.
Travolta is just like Alan Brady (Carl Reiner) from the old Dick Van Dyke show. He too had all his toupees lined up in a row from short cut to long cut. Check it out: http://www.hulu.com/watch/114027/the-dick-van-dyke-show-coast-to-coast-big-mouth
I totally believe the hairpiece story. I’m sorry, normally I’m a little smarter than that. But this time I WANT TO BELIEVE.
“I WANT TO BELIEVE.”
the truth is out there, aenflex!
Am I the only one disturbed by that pic of Robert Pattinson? And it’s not just that it looks like he’s wearing blue eyeshadow either, he looks a little ‘special’ to me for some reason. 😛
Attention ALL MEN:
even celebrities…
Please, if you’re going bald, just SHAVE it and rock the bald head. It is far more attractive and appealing than a wig, hair piece, or *drum roll* comb over…
I think it is really sexy when men who are bald/balding just shave the head. In my opinion, it always looks better than a rug, plugs, comb-over, long ponytail, etc.
Jason Statham is a prime example- if he had hair, the receding hairline would make him look like a middle-aged fart. With the shaved head- sex on a stick.
Dude, just let it go already. Bald is fine. Bald is great. Bald can be beautiful.
Also, we know there’s a surrogate. Embrace reality already.
Also, we know there’s a surrogate. Embrace reality already.
Pretty sure we aren’t allowed to- the P.C. police are always on the ready to criticize you for “being haters”!
What’s stupid about Travolta is we’ve seen him bald. OWN IT B*TCH! Patrick Stewart, Bruce Willis, Sean Connery, Ving Rhames and the iconic epically HOT bald man Yul Brynner.
Forgot: Ed Harris, Taye Diggs and David Stratham (sp?). Hot! Hot Guy Friday should be dedicated to the hot bald hunks.
They own it, and it rules.
EDIT: Mr. Green Is Good came in, and I showed him these pics of John Travolta. His comment was if it’s a hair piece, it’s very good. Note how JT has a widow’s peak going on.
I still say free the scalp!
I’ve been in front of quite a few cameras in my life, but it hasn’t stopped me being able to run it myself. The idea of being a celebrity assistant just seems like the biggest load of bollocks to me.
I know I shouldn’t believe anything Star says, and that assistants all have confidentiality clauses…but all this sounds totally plausible to me!
I don’t get Travolta’s hair either. It always has such a weird helmet look to it. I wish he’d just embrace the balding too, but I suspect there’s a lot of natural tendencies he’s constantly fighting (wink wink). Whatever’s going on with them though, I wish them happiness, because they’ve had a rough couple of years.
men in lacefronts tickle me.
You guys are forgetting The Rock and Vin Diesel! Yummy.
no, no…NO!
don’t you listen to ’em john!
scientology, i don’t care.
baldness be damned!
you’ll always be walkin’ that bad-ass walk of yours in that sexy white 70s suit in my heart.
“Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin’ aliiiiiiiiiiiii-hiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvve” 🙂
Kelly’s pregnant. Those boobs and bingo flaps don’t lie.
I’m trying to visualize how one can possibly have a face-to-face conversation with Travolta and not stare at that mesh? Even if I tried my hardest Not to be rude, my eyes would inadvertently be drawn back in awe.
That said, here’s a dumb little ditty in his honor:
I got chills,
they’re multiplyin’
and I’m losin’ my hair…
Sorry. Had to. 😛
He’s not just bald. Haven’t there been reports that what hair he does have is totally white?
this was a blind item quite a while ago: the hairpieces with their own room.
i do not like Travolta as an actor never did, but i just feel somewhat sorry for that guy…
the hairpiece thing is making me nauseous.
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