John Mayer to Huffington Post: “Go f-ck yourself”

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At some point around lunch time on Thursday, The Huffington Post put up a little story in their Entertainment section called “John Mayer & Jennifer Aniston BACK TOGETHER?” It stayed at the top of the Entertainment page for about an hour, and then made the slow descent to the “old news” part, lower on the page. I’ll admit, I clicked on the story just to see if there was some new dirt. There wasn’t. The HuffPo piece was based on this E! News report from last week – basically, that Aniston was backstage, in the wings, at Mayer’s concert, and he kept looking over at her and flirting with her as he performed.

All in all, a pretty innocuous little piece, made worse by the fact that it was actually old news (old news in the gossip world). However, this was the biggest thing to happen to John Mayer in months. And Mayer’s Famewhore Douche had to come out to play. BIG TIME. Mayer responded to HuffPo’s article a few hours later:

Ahh, Huffington Post, the internet Death Star. The world’s first spectator banking website. Come watch a site’s intelligence move in and out like bellows of accordion depending on whether or not there’s ad dollars to be sucked out of any willing orifice.

From their front page item “BACK TOGETHER?”:

Are John Mayer and Jennifer Aniston back on? Mayer seemed to indicate they might be when he spoke in front of a crowd of 18,000 at his concert on Sunday at the Hollywood Bowl in LA.

“I believe in second chances!” he said. “You might have been a pain in the ass the last time around, but you can still start over again from home base. Next time you get a text from the one you love just text back ‘come over’ – no matter what happened in the past. If you really love someone, just tell them and be with them.”

Huffington Post, this is reporting? How do you pay your writers now, in Silly Bandz? Do you meet your sources in a malt shoppe? This is equal parts fabricated, cobbled together and misleading. Let’s break it down: I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point. The next sentence is from the song “Half of My Heart,” in reference to the idea that meeting new people allows for hiding old mistakes. (Well, for most people at least.) The sentence about texting comes from the show’s encore, “Edge of Desire,” in a moment of giving people permission not to beat themselves down for still wanting someone. Two sentences about different things at different points in a concert.

The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks. Those other rags know who they are, and even if they’re obnoxious, I’d rather have to live with them because they (and the rest of the world) know where they stand, which doesn’t make them one tenth as dangerous as you are. You’re a stripper wearing reading glasses. Or maybe you’re an insolvent law student willing to dance for a few extra dollars. Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.

I’m not a politician. I have no celebrity endorsements. So it is with a clear conscience that I’m able to title your piece on this post, should you decide to try make a few more bucks for whatever body wash or slasher flick you’re hocking today.

JOHN MAYER SLAMS HUFFPO: ” GO F**K YOURSELF!”

[From John Mayer’s Tumblr]

Mayer’s back, bitches. Would you like some racist humor with your asinine rant, peeps? How about we get some talk about sexual napalm in the hizzy, sluts? BAM! C-Span scar!! Mayer just blew your mind, didn’t he? “You’re like a stripper wearing reading glasses”!!! BURN. No, seriously, burn this douchebag. With fire. The gist of Mayer’s hissy fit is that HuffPo shouldn’t have an Entertainment section because they report real news. I guess The New York Times shouldn’t have an Arts Section and the Washington Post shouldn’t have a Style section – you know, because people might get confused! “Oh my God, Cooter, on one page they got some dang gum news about war in Afghanerstand, and on the next page theys talkin’ ‘bout this Mayer fella! That’s so confuzzling!!!” I especially like his “burn” about ads too. Keep in mind that Mayer’s rant is posted on his website/Tumblr page, where he’s advertising dates for his next concerts with Keith Urban.

Oh, and he didn’t really deny that he’s slipping Aniston his KKK dong, did he?

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Mayer performing on August 14, 2010 in Chicago. Aniston & Mayer at the 2009 Oscars. Credit: WENN.

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61 Responses to “John Mayer to Huffington Post: “Go f-ck yourself””

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  1. Gracie says:

    Huffington post is trash and No ONE should even give it the time of day.

  2. bite me says:

    of course that asswipe aniston took his arse back, she must like getting peed on

  3. LolaBella says:

    “Either way, it’s uncomfortable to watch you try to wrap yourself around a pole when you have that C-Span scar.”

    Fuckin’ BURN!

    …ladies and gentlemen…John Mayer is BACK!

  4. Kerry says:

    It doesn’t matter if they’re back together or not haters. Its her life so don’t pretend y’all care whether she lives or dies.

  5. Original Gracie says:

    Hey y’all…..if you see a post from now on with the name Gracie…it’s somebody new. I am changing my name to Original Gracie (as I was here first.)

    As far as Mayer and Jen go…it’s like when you like a guy and he’s not right for you so you break up …. but then the amazing sex makes you keep coming back. I bet you a million dollars that she is *hoping* he will change.

    I’ve been there.

  6. nnn says:

    Mayer has that type of juvenile fresh face that makes him look like he is barely 25.

    When pictured next to Aniston (like in the above picture), it’s really striking, and she looks like she could pass for his mum or aunt.

  7. WTF? says:

    uhmmmm shouldn’t this doodoo for brains be happy that anyone is even talking about him? Because the last time I checked he had just exposed himself as a racist sexist assface.

  8. lucy2 says:

    I liked it better when he went away.

  9. Marjalane says:

    Mayer may be a douche, but HuffPo is far and away douchier, so I applaud his efforts to call them out.

    AND

    I can’t thing of anything more entertaining than to have he and J.A. get back together! Between his interviews and her crappy movies, it’s a match made in heaven.

  10. Trustiva says:

    “The reason I’m calling you out instead of all the other magazines that make stories up out of thin air is that In Touch and Star Magazine aren’t concurrently writing pieces about Pat Tillman or WikiLeaks.”

    Um, he is absolutely right about this. You know what ‘kind’ of stories you get when you read the gossip mags, but Huffington Post wants to be a newspaper. A left newspaper, that is. But still they want to be a publication, and many people take them seriously. So bringing stories on the frontpage that are obviously cobbled together and wrong (and the HuffPost writers know it!) is dangerous.

    I mean, I don’t read the HuffPo anymore for a year now for reasons like that. But still many people do. And they shouldn’t be publishing stories that are SUN material.

  11. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    LOL The Huffington Post tweeted this story about John and Jen, I was wondering if it would get picked up here to but this is far better. I love the Huffington Post but see how irritating it is when major news site just half ass their entertainment section. Its annoying and many people tend to believe whats printed on a major news site. I think they should do a better job of reporting if your at such a organization as the Huffington Post, MSNBC, or Fox News.

    I feel John’s anger here.

  12. Camille says:

    Marjalane: I agree with the first part of your comment. :)

  13. Trillion says:

    Love Huffpo but seriously wish they’d lay off the gossip.

  14. Angel says:

    I don’t know, this one is hard. Sure, Mayar is certainly a giant rusty tool bag, but I can’t help but feel he is justified here. They (tabloids) have been harping on Jen and her ‘relationships’ for so long to such a stalkerish degree now that you have to wonder if the men involved don’t get right f-cking sick of it, and if it doesn’t play a part in her ‘desperate loneliness’ they like to obsessively report on in between relationship speculations. Apparently, they do. I also appreciate anyone who will call out these leeches who build fabrications entirely to suck money out of impressionable people. When a ‘legitimate’ News source gets in on it someone should say something because that’s definitely taking it too far. So it’s hard, but I’m Team Mayar this time. I guess.

  15. Pia says:

    He’s definitely an asshole (though entertaining in a automobile wreck kind of way) but in this case, he’s absolutely right. HuffPo should stay off the gossip beat. It’s just ridiculous.

  16. Whatever says:

    BURN. No, seriously, burn this douchebag. With fire.

    This made me LMAO.

  17. Abbs says:

    As much as it pains me to say it 1) he’s actually right on this one, and 2) it’s actually coherent and funny. I kind of love this line “I don’t think I ever said “I believe in second chances!” but I can’t be 100 percent sure, as it’s possible I could have accidentally said something succinctly and to the point.”

  18. Bodhi says:

    This flaming asshole should be happy that anyone is talking about him at all. STFU asshat

  19. DetRiotgirl says:

    Eh, he’s an epic douche. But, I totally agree with him about Huffpo. Actually, I’ll one up him and say that Huffpo has one of the worst entertainment sections around. I say this not only because he’s totally right that they print cobbled together lies, but because most of the time they can’t even be bothered to write their non-stories in an entertaining way! It’s the least entertaining entertainment section of any major publication!

    The only gossip sites I check out everyday are Celebitchy, The Superficial and Dlisted, and that is because they are written with a certain sense of style and a good sense of humor. I like this site the best though, because CB and Kaiser often manage to be funny, entertaining and insightful at the same time. This site is far and away the most intelligently written gossip blog I know of.

    I only ever check in on Huffpo to read the comments. But, even the majority of the comments on huffpo are garbage. This site generally has the most coherent comments of all the gossip sites as well.

    Anyway, while I agree with douche face on this one, I can’t bring myself to call myself “Team Mayer”… So, instead I’ll just say that I’m team Celebitchy! Keep being a thousand times better than huffpo ladies!

  20. Meaza says:

    ok, stop hating on Mayer, yea he can be an ass at times but his musical GENIUS makes up for it…plus he’s f***ing HOT!

  21. Granger says:

    “Oh my God, Cooter, on one page they got some dang gum news about war in Afghanerstand, and on the next page theys talkin’ ‘bout this Mayer fella! That’s so confuzzling!!!”

    I haven’t laughed so hard in ages. Thank you, Kaiser!!!!!

  22. bizzy says:

    @original gracie: but then the amazing sex makes you keep coming back

    except, i suspect, without the amazing sex.

    john mayer is the dating equivalent of self-harming.

  23. Kitten says:

    Meh. I don’t read Huffpro but I don’t see why the can’t report on news AND gossip as well. Don’t most major newspapers have an entertainment section? I think it’s up to the reader’s discretion to decide what they want to believe when it comes to celeb gossip. Ugh the “stripper with glasses” analogy makes me wanna punch him.

  24. luna says:

    John Meyer is an artist and an asshole. He writes beautiful songs and has a beatific voice, and because we are America, we confuse the art with the artist. Know what, team? Picasso was an asshole. Julian Schnaubel was an asshole. Salinger? Vonnegut? Bukowski? Assholes. Love the art, not the channel. I love America, but hate what Americans have become. Quit being obsessed with the vessel, appreciate the art.

  25. Jas says:

    Huffington Post is not the only one out of place. If Mayer is a musician why don’t he stick to playing music and staying out of the tabloids. Thought that’s what he was going to do just play music.
    He seems to court media attention. I suspect the only reason he would want to date someone like Jennifer Aniston or Jessica Simpson is to get as much media attention as he can get.
    Funny, starting to date Jen again and already whining. Bad sign.

  26. GeekLuva says:

    This post and all of it`s comments are effin hi-larious! Great job ladies :)

    … and on this one thing…
    Team Mayer
    *runs*

  27. Sans says:

    Kaiser please. He said he was single at his Irvine Show and Hollywood Bowl show. This is on Mtv.com
    LATIMES.COM. Usmagazine.com it states they aren’t dating. What guy curses out a site callling it bullshit and telling to eff themselves. Asking them where do they get their sources. He’s denied it multiple times. If you could read you’d know he was using David Duke and White supremicist as a metaphor describing that he hadn’t had sex with a woman of color. He said at the end his going to start dating opposite of his dick. As in women of color. Read books from the Harlem Renaissance then maybe youll understand . David Duke and white supremicists hate blacks Jews and anyone of color. Remember the Holocaust. Well John Mayers dad is full blood Jewish. There is a pic of him with his dad on perezhilton.com. If he meant David Duke as an insult he’d be talking about his whole family if he didn’t believe in races mixing. I know y’all need site hits, but let’s use our minds Kaiser.

  28. canadianchick says:

    Pot meet kettle-he’s complaining about them running off at the mouth. Next!

  29. aury says:

    i wonder, is that his “O” face?

  30. Cheyenne says:

    That second photo is so sad. Poor Jen is gazing up at him with those adoring eyes and he’s look like “WTF am I doing here?”

  31. Sans says:

    Bradley Cooper and Gerard Butler. How many times did they have to deny they weren’t dating her. Cooper had to let folks know he was with Renee and Gerard kissed strangers in the street. This chick plants stuff whenever a movie is out. Whenever she needs attention.

  32. Sassy says:

    He’s a major twatwaffle BUT I totally agree with him on this.

  33. trashaddict says:

    Rest of the World to John Mayer: “Likewise”.

  34. Chloe' says:

    ah he’s getting uglier and uglier! what the hell?!

  35. la chica says:

    they used his words and arrived at a reasonable conclusion. apparently it’s the wrong conclusion. he could have ignored it. but no, instead he goes to great lengths to make it absolutely crystal clear that he is NOT dating Aniston. lol. poor Jen.

  36. fc2010 says:

    Douche….and not a great musician either…go away John

  37. jen says:

    For once I agree with John!

  38. Katalina76 says:

    @la chica: See the thing I found most interesting, was that he didn’t once deny he was back with her. He picked apart their story, but never once said “we’re not dating”. Of course, if he did that, then people would stop speculating and paying attention to him, and he can’t have that!

    @luna: Thanks for insulting ALL Americans, much appreciated.

  39. Roma says:

    I totally agree with John; I come to sites like CB for my entertainment but I waste just as much work time reading news. I used to be obsessed with HuffPo back in the day but they’ve moved away from journalistic leanings to random, usually mislead, gossip.

    I don’t like when boundaries get crossed. Unless you’re Jon Stewart, and you do it with insight and humour.

  40. bing says:

    If he wants to run his mouth, you are not obligated to read it, listen to it, or comment on it! You all luv it…

  41. Jazz says:

    Huffington Post to John Mayer: “Right back at ya douchebag!”

  42. padiddle says:

    he sucks, but on this he was both RIGHT and it was written WITTILY!
    Come on, C-SPAN scar was clever, as was the quip about him accidentally saying something succinctly.

  43. ViktoryGin says:

    @ Sans:

    We, and that includes Kaiser, are perfectly aware of the metaphorical subtext of his pseudo-intellectual musings from the Playboy interview. I don’t recall whether or not you were present on that thread, but note that people had less issue with its racism, and more with his cerebral grandstanding and patent arrogance.

    Even when he retracted the statement it still smacked of condescension….that we all are rather philistine not to follow his abysmal attempt at subversive wit. No John. We got it. Most of us (the astute and otherwise) have just decided that you fail. And that comment about aligning his heart with is dick was NOT a statement of intended purpose but rather one of potentiality. He has made no such resolution to do so, and honestly why should he reduce his dating life to quota system? For the white girls who claim him, they can keep him. Reduces the dating pool and his chances of inflicting his sour ego needs on even more women who are probably better than him anyway.

  44. Stephie says:

    I thought it was a good piece but then I like John Mayer. Except when he’s being an ass.

  45. bizzy says:

    @ViktoryGin: his cerebral grandstanding

    or, as i like to characterize it, ‘getting his IQ out and rubbing it to make it look bigger.’

  46. aenflex says:

    I love Mayer’s music and don’t at all care for his personality or philandering tendencies. I don’t hate this rant though, but here’s why:
    If his quote was indeed multiple pieces of different quotes ‘cobbled’ together, that can be frustrating. I understand the vitriol. That would piss me off.
    I don’t agree with everything he said, however. There are thousands of information sources, and there always will be, so it’s up to each person to be responsible about what they read. To ask questions and get other opinions. And quite simply that’s because anyone can be bought and any editorial piece can be deeply and subtly flavored with personal opinion. That’s not exclusive to Huffpo, that’s exclusive to media period.

  47. Bina says:

    @ViktoryGin: are YOU single? If so, I’d like to date you.

  48. Sans says:

    @ViktoryGin

    First off stop trying to show off your “astute” vocabulary, it’s CB. Second you don’t know who he’s dating or who is in his personal life. People get on my last nerve thinking they know what’s going on in some entertainers home. You don’t even know what’s going on in your friends. I have parents involved in the Civil Rights movement, studied African-American studies, and minored in Psychology. My Mother is retired, but was an English teacher. So is John Mayer’s Mother. Speaking metaphorically, with analogies, and so forth is just how some speak. They actually use the English language artfully, instead of just cursing to express themselves.

    I told my dad what he said. Read it word for word and just asked him what he thought he was saying and he said oh he’s going to start exploring his horizons and date black women. Also he probably got bored with the chicks on magazines.

    You also have conflict in your statement. You said you understood, yet he retracted his statements.
    He never retracted. He gave a general apology for offending people. You say you understood, yet still yell racism. You said he said he was potentially going to date black women and hasn’t acted. You don’t know what he’s doing. People say they are going to potentially do something all the time. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t.
    Your conflicting statements show you didn’t get it. You yell racism. I read people’s comments and maybe one person understood.

    Sorry John isn’t just some white boy trying to be cool. He reads alot things having to do with black
    culture. Into black art. If you saw his apartment you
    would know ( Elle mag). He actually speaks like my
    old black parents. In their late 50′s. I do think he wants to be all the way in, but knows he can’t be. That’s why he states he can’t run around saying the n-word.

    Of course you want to connect as much as possible if your kids may be black. I think he does
    ego trip off of connecting so well with blacks though. It’s actually flattering, but he showed it to world. I
    had a professor, who was a lawyer/black/60 yrs old who said..the black kids are saying the n-word out right. The white kids would just say n-word. She told the white kids to just say it. People give words too much power. You take the power away you wash away the desire for folks to say it on the slide.

    These are things discussed in college classrooms and among folks in their inner circle. He put it in practice. The point he made is right, he can’t run around saying the n-word, cause there is no such thing as a ghetto pass cause he’ll never experience bigotry/racism like black people.

    Sorry, the only white people I hear talk about race relations are people involved in Human Studies. People who are educators. He came from an educator, his mother and father. Both teachers. Take in as much knowledge as possible.

    Saying he’s going to date women of different races isn’t racist. That’s ridiculous. Saying you can’t run around saying the n-word, cause you’ll never understand black struggle, isn’t racist either.
    n-word b-word f-word. It’s all profane and shouldn’t be used like whatever. Funny how the b-word is used like whatever.

    As far as his spews against aniston and Simpson. These people used his name tons of times to sale interviews. Simpson even stated she was abused in the past. Of course news referred to her past boyfriends. She came out and admitted it was kids in school. Horrible accusation a male can have. She stated her ex husband was bad in bad. She isn’t innocent.

    Said Mayer wasn’t a man cause he dumped her. Aniston used his name to sale interviews. Had statements coming out saying he’s immature 8months after he got rid of her. Started rumors they were dating again. Having friends lie in mags saying they were dating. Was lied on called a cheater and cheap by her people. Have you ever heard of John Mayer having issues dealing with chicks besides these two. NO!

    to act on dating black chicks

  49. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    Oh, this swamp donkey.

    I’m the Antonin Dvorak of encouraging all people to work together and express themselves freely in a joyous, inclusive and multi-faceted sprint to ‘THE ART’!

    But I’m the Richard Wagner of, ‘You know, you could just shut up for like, a nanosecond and practice your frigging scales, or something.’

    Pauvre bete, thinks he’s a master chef at the Cordon Bleu, when all he is is milquetoast.

  50. canadianchick says:

    Isn’t there a CB rule that we have to keep our rants short?

  51. Sans says:

    Sorry for my stuff being jumbled up. I’m trying to type on a cellphone. So John Mayer has dated a few chicks in Hollywood, never had issues till these two. They sale out their personal lives for fame and money. They aren’t talented and their value is placed on the social status of the male they are with. With Simpson still going on about her personal life and Aniston too, after over a decade of being out there. The problem is them and them choosing unavailable men. Not to mention, maybe they should date guys they have things in common with. Not looks, fame, and money. Hey I’ve been unavailable for the past three years, cause I have been working on moving out of state. Date folks for 3 months and then be done. Does that make me wrong too. They sold out his name and made snide remarks against him, way before he dissed them. GQ and Vanity Fair is just a couple of sources for Anistons snide remarks against him. You can google Simpson talks about John Mayer. People mag is one. I like the comment she made in people saying, Romo didn’t try to make her be intellectual like John Mayer did. Yeah a guy just fine with you being stupid is a good thing. 2008 interviews she dropped his name all the time. The view in 2007 she said she wanted to date a man, not a boy. Sorry someone isn’t a boy cause they dumped you. He is a player, but Newsflash so are most young males. Last time I checked I haven’t heard of his dating status since March of 2009. That’s someone whose slowing.

    Yeah I am a fan and I’m over some trying to diss him when he’s no worse than anyone elsa. Actually he’s getting better.

    P.S. He was #2 in concert sales, behind U2 and then when they stopped touring, JM was behind Bon Jovi. He’s being honored at the VH1 Save The
    Music Awards. He has done alot of things off the radar that people have told me about, in regards to being charitable. Only thing he’s really done wrong was date to fame whores, cause he wanted empty attention. Plus he got free sex from those chicks. Now he wants to get away from all that. It’s called growing up.

  52. Jo 'Mama' Besser says:

    But if we’re celebrating the artful use of language, why doesn’t that philosophy extend to VG?

  53. Sans says:

    Don’t have to read it. Check out Michael S. Harper a poet during the Harlem Renaissance. Uses terms during the Civil Rights Movements as metaphors. He stole the sexual napalm thing from George Carlin’ s book. Napalm and Silly Putty. Knowledge is power. If people kept their mouths shut, alot of horrid things would have continued in history. Problem is people shut up too much. He should have kept the race relation comments in an educated environment. Like Paul Mooney says. If you mention race you are already the enemy.

  54. Juice in LA says:

    The Douche is loose! ah good times, what with Mel going all silent but deadly on us.

    Although I will give Mayer credit for the “Stripper wearing reading glasses” line.

  55. CoCo says:

    @ Sans
    Thank you!

    I am so over the whole John Mayer is a douche bag thing. If you don’t like his music because you just don’t like that genre of music..fine, I get that. The actual fact is that he is well respected in musical circles (7 grammy awards, 15 noms, played w/BB King, Buddy Guy, Eric Clapton) and has over 2 mil. followers on twitter & his album debuted at #1. People like John Mayer and I’m proud to say I’m one of them. Just because you call someone a douche bag doesn’t make it true.

  56. kim says:

    I ditto his statement. Ariana Huffington and her post are TRASH!

  57. jas says:

    Wow that was quite the rant up there. I knew Mayer’s pr team was trying to fix his image but to come on a site and write a book honoring Mayer is something else. Omg I got tired of reading that novel.
    Wow so Aniston and Simpson are two fame whores he used to get empty attention and free sex. Wow I’m surprised team Aniston let that statement go by.

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