I apologize in advance, but I’m about to lay into Chelsea Handler. I may offend some, and I am sorry. But I can’t stand her. Anyway, Chelsea was dating Animal Planet dude Dave Salmoni for several months, but apparently it’s over now. She made some not-so-cryptic comments about the maybe-split last night on Chelsea Lately. When asked to confirm the split by Us Weekly, her rep farted out some bullsh-t about Chelsea only talking about her personal life on her show – desperate for ratings much? I would like to know what happened, but not enough to watch this racist, unfunny, nasty C-U-Next-Tuesday. Who is “35.”
Have Chelsea Handler and Animal Planet star Dave Salmoni parted ways?
During her monologue on Chelsea Lately Wednesday, the comedienne, 35, seemed to make veiled references to her relationship with Into the Pride hunk Salmoni, 34.
“I’ve decided to consult for other networks,” the E! star joked. “Up until a couple weeks ago, I was working very intimately with the Animal Planet, but unfortunately, that contract was terminated,” she said.
“However, I enjoyed being in bed with them and may hook up for an occasional project,” Handler added.
When asked about Handler’s current romantic status, her rep told UsMagazine.com: “She saves all commentary about her personal life for her own show.”
During a July 21 appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Handler confirmed that she was seeing Salmoni. “He’s really cute,” she gushed. “It’s nice to date somebody who can protect you from a bear or a lion.”
Salmoni flirted with her during a July 19 appearance on her show. “It sounds like you’ve been telling people that you’ve given me more than just a kiss,” he said.
Handler ended her relationship with Comcast CEO Ted Harbert earlier this year.
[From Us Weekly]
I have a few theories. One, Chelsea broke it off because he wanted to do something gross, involving her ass, probably. But God knows, maybe she likes that. Second theory: she broke it off because he smelled like one the animals he works with. Third theory: He dumped her for being a rude, obnoxious so-and-so.
Just for the record, the way Chelsea has operated so far is: hookup with the married president of a cable network, breakup the dude’s marriage, begin openly “dating” the guy when his divorce comes through, never respond to the “jokes” about f-cking your way up, negotiate an eight-figure contract with your boss/lover, then dump him after the ink is dry, then hookup with a younger man who works with animals on a daily basis, gushing about him publicly to promote the image of a lusty cougar to sell yourself, your show and your book, then publicly call him out when your relationship is over.
I don’t hate her or anything, but I do thinks she’s overrated. I don’t think she’s really all that funny.
35 my ass! She looks like a wrinkled old shoe.
He can do far, far better. He’s a nice boy and she is a haggard old turd.
The fact that they even did the nasty together is disturbing. I wouldn’t want to see her naked. In those pics, he looks less than thrilled. “jaw clench anyone?” I’m still convinced it was a media ploy and he was paid for his duties.
I can hardly begin to imagine why anyone would drop that incredibly hot bit of the ‘Wild Kingdom’. I bet he’s that tanned ‘all over’.
Ha ha I love her. Maybe the both (being adults) just hooked up for a bit and moved on. There doesn’t have to be a behind the breakup story for everything.
LMAO at this post-tell us like you feel it! For once I have to disagree with you Kaiser. I’ve never laughed as hard as I laughed reading her books.
I’ll be 35 next month & I still get carded. There is NO WAY this broad is 35!
@lisa, that is EXACTLY what i was thinking. 35 my ass.
35? please that’s more like 45!
Anyway, thanks for posting the other picture with the other hotness sitting next to her (damn he’s fine) This is the only time I wish I was in her shoes, nice sandwhich LOL
She’s hilarious. Although I don’t disagree with you on the whole sleeping her way to the top thing or anything. She still has some talent. And her show is really funny. But she’s not a racist, she just tells it like she sees it. And for her not to be hindered by pc rules is refreshing. I hate it when celebs and comedians dance around a topic or shy away from stating the obvious just because it may offend someone.
Geez if she is really 35, then she spent her entire 20’s doing alot of smoking and drinking. And has not stopped from the looks of it. 🙂
She seems really quite obnoxious.
Hmm. Who’s the cutie to her right?
How is she racist?
Just goes to show that an ugly whore with money still gets some hot ass.
not particularly a fan (she strikes me as someone who thinks she’s WAY funnier than she is) but I never got the whole racist thing, either.
did she say or do something to give that impression?
and yeah, 35 my bottom.
and agree with the other posters…who is that HOT HOT HOT piece standing to her right in that pic? he is FINE.
I don’t like how she makes jokes about the Special Olympics because that isn’t even funny and I don’t like her use of the “r” word to describe things that don’t work properly or ideas she doesn’t believe in. I think her hypersexulazation of black men can often go too far and is just raunchy and not at all funny. I think she stereotypes lesbians, gay men, and black women, especially those on her show, to a point that isn’t funny. She often makes very lame jokes about migrant workers and mexicans that aren’t funny and highlight the stereotype. When she first came on I liked her show. I liked that she had people on that aren’t asked to be guests on the popular talk shows: Leno, Letterman, and O’Brien. Her guests are often very interesting and I would never have known about them otherwise. I also liked her round table and thought that was a nice change of pace. But she is buying into her own hype. Any fifth grader can make up a joke about a dyke doing things lickedy split or a gay man liking a fridge packed with meat. These are not funny jokes and this is the crap she now says regularly. I’ve never read her books but I doubt she is as sharp as David Sedaris.
There’s NO WAY this chick is 35, she needs to add some digits to those numbers.
p.s. I agree with Riley. Her show was actually funny when it first aired and I loved her non famous guest as well as her round table co-host. But she has jumped the shark in the last year or so, and when Aniston is a guest, it’s usually super boring.
Geez you really hate her
I assume the racism involves how she speaks to “her little nugget, Chewie.” He seems OK with it all but, then again, he’s getting paid. I’m Latina and haven’t felt overly insulted by her. I agree with everyone here who doesn’t believe she is only 35. I never understood why anybody would lie about being younger. Hell, ADD ten years to yourself and people will fawn all over about “how good you look for your age!”
Riley – David Sedaris ROCKS! he’s f-in hilarious.
Thank You Kaiser!!! I’ve never been able to stand her (or Tina Fey, for that matter), and I get so sick of people telling me how that makes me a bad feminist.
And yeah, there’s no way she is 35. She looks older than my mother, who is 57. Look at her neck!
Way to go Kaiser for saying it like it is.
How long has Chelsea been 35?
No way she is 35. I believe she would lie about her age. I really don’t like her. I think her humor is mean spirited, hateful and degrading. I don’t feel comfortable laughing at her hateful jokes.
I get a feeling she is so hateful that boyfriends get tired of her. I wouldn’t be surprise if she comes out of the closet one day.
actually i change my mind. she did some really good things for charity so she’s ok. i secretly like her a lot
I spent a ton of time drinking and smoking and am now 30 and get carded at rated R movies. This woman has some terrible genes and is full of sh!t…35 my a$$
You forgot: Then mock said man, whose marriage (with children) you broke up on your comedy tour, implying it was charitable of you to date him in the first place.
I actually find her funny. I watch her show every night.
I watch her quite a bit but now I’m kinda ashamed. Some of the comedians, (Joe Koi (Koy?)) are really funny.
I like the animal guy, David, and that is mean unless he’s in on it.
Anniston and Angie Harmon seemed really drunk when they appeared. They just laughed & laughed. I felt embarasssed for them. Not.Cool.Anniston. (Or is it “Un-Cool”) Chelsea did all the talking.
In Chelsea’s defense, she did stay with Ted for a couple years after her billion dollar contract was signed.
I like her. A ballsy, drinking, swearing, laugh-out-loud kind of broad is a refreshing break from the squeezed and tweaked, celery munching gerbils Hollywood usually forces down our throats. Go Chelsea!
“How long has Chelsea been 35?”
That’s funny.
Yeah, she’s a bitch, but I love listening to her rip the kardashian’s, etc. And she is VERY racist when it comes to Asian’s; I was kind of surprised that Margaret Cho didn’t call her out on it the other day.
Like I said the last time there was a Chelsea post- unless she started her standup at 15, she’s quite a bit older than 35. She was on the original Comedy Central when it started. Then she did that Bad Girls Club, or whatever it was called, like 15 years ago.
furst: I adore you Kaiser!! If I didn’t know it before, I know it now. Handler is the devil.
secund: That second photo should put away all doubts that Ms. Handler is anything younger than a well worn 43.
Ok confession time. In trying to get my book published, I recently received a rejection letter that said “if I were as famous as chelsea handler then I might be able to get away with the controversial parts of my story.”
this sent me cowering into the darkest corner of my home with a bottle of Ketel one and my Donna Martin doll. I didn’t come out for weeks. The Donna doll will never be the same.
This woman looks 50+, has a tranny kinda hard face and she looks scary, like severe scary with crazy eyes.
I don’t know her but she seems b*tchy and unsympathic. I may be wrong but that’s what i feel from her.
I’ll go with #3. I bet she’s a real pill after the booze wears off. 🙂
I used to like her a lot, but now I find her grating. Funny+mean jokes (like MK) is still funny. But, she’s all mean, while losing the funny. Now when I watch her, she just seems angry?
I’m with you Eileen. I woke up my husband because I was laughing so hard while reading the chapter about the dog in Chelsea, Chelsea Bang Bang! The bouquet of churros for the funeral was one of the funniest things ever!
I love her! I know she’s sarcastic and rude, which is what I love about her. Having said that, I don’t even believe she’s 35!
You nailed it Kaiser 😆 , couldn’t agree with you more if I tried.
Whoa, in the last pic this chick totally looks like that Beatle dude’s exwife with the one leg.
She IS 35! That is the scary thing. My good friend went to high school with her and was in her year as well.
35 she is…. she looks hard has hell.
I think you’re right in saying “He dumped her for being a rude, obnoxious so-and-so.” He’s a smart, good-looking and talented man. Maybe I’m wrong, but I get the feeling she does not know when to quit with the sarcasm, and she treated him like a dumb Neanderthal one too many times.
35 is younger than me, and she looks about the same age as my mother. Just a few years ago, she looked great, really pretty, even, but she has aged so much since her show started.
She’s funny sometimes, very NOT funny sometimes… I think it used to me more the former, less the latter, unfortunately, it’s switched.
Maybe she’s really 35. You know how most Hollywood faces look frozen. She hasn’t done any surgery so that could be what a normal 35 year old woman really look like.
Her split up with Animal Planet guy could be one of the demands of the Discovery channel hostage-taker.
Damn this Bitch is so ugly!!!
@ lh No sh*t! She is really 35?
I would have pegged her at mid-40’s Even with Botox she looks old.
she should be the poster girl for what tanning, smoking and boozing will make your face look like. yikes.
i think she is really funny.
She isn’t funny at all she is a pathetic bitch that is famous for making fun of people who’s boots she would lick if they could get her more exposure, I will take Kathy Griffin over her any day of the week. David Sedaris’s book is in a different hemisphere than hers( I had the unfortunate pleasure of reading it because a friend made me) . And nope she isn’t 35.
I kind of feel like the scrutiny on her is unfair. She’s a comedian, they aren’t pillars of the community and usually people are ok with that, she doesn’t promote herself as being a great person [but how is she racist??] and she has a fucked up personal life, why does it matter? She’s funny, she’s bitchy, she’s harsh…she’s what most male comedians are but because she’s female it’s a problem worth scathing her over?
There seem to be a couple of Rileys posting comments here… Riley who posted in 17 stands by her comments— and no Riley in 17 does not mean to sound like douchebag Kellan Lutz.
She’s built like a brick house and twice as hard.
I hate that she’s ever compared to David Sedaris–she’s totes NOT the female DS.
Her comedy is spot-on: when Chelsea is funny she’s good. Snark gets old unless there’s substance beneath it. I haven’t watched Chelsea Lately lately (!) and if the show has turned into a rating machine I won’t watch it.
I dig the commentors here but could we not speculate on her age? I think she is 35. Line her up next to Lindsay Lohan, the oldest 24-year-old EVER. She’s 35.
I think tha biz is harder for comediennes. You’re expected to be cute AND funny. Comedians (guys) get to be fat, bald, bucktoothed as that’s part of their shtick. Comediennes often get boxed into 1) low humor (I like sex, like to drink) 2) “feminist” humor (Janeane Garafolo) 3) Sarah Silverman.
Example: Kathy Griffin is naturally funny but her stage shows are a caricature. She had a bah-zillion dollars worth of plastic surgery just to fit in with the Hollywood set. I’m glad she’s open about it but I’m sad she thought she was unattractive.
Ugh. Sorry. Stepping off soapbox.
So she’s no longer an Animal Handler? She probably dumped him over a case of mistaken identity. She caught him in bed with a Komodo dragon and he thought it was her. Natural mistake.
I believe she’s 35. White women start to age 5 years for every one year of birth after they reach 25. Without makeup, almost all of them look 20 years older than they are. I’m not trying to be mean. It’s a fact. I used to date White women and they can go from “I look 50” to “I’m really 35” with makeup. Other races tend to hold their ages intact without makeup.
She could just have bad genes. I spent my 20’s smoking and drinking. I’m 36 and I look like 26. So ya never know. She can be funny sometimes. I only watch her if she is interviewing someone I care about. Which isn’t that often.
‘hookup with the married president of a cable network, breakup the dude’s marriage, begin openly “dating” the guy when his divorce comes through, never respond to the “jokes” about f-cking your way up, negotiate an eight-figure contract with your boss/lover, then dump him after the ink is dry,’
Well, you can’t call her stupid. She got the paycheck in the end. I don’t hate her as much as Kaiser, because she’s smart, and I will always love a smart woman. But obnoxious and disgusting, ITA there.
Sam, I think you’re nuts. Where do you get your information? I don’t look 20 years older than my age and I’ve done some hard living in my day. Such generalizations just make you look ignorant.
@ Sam
Race hasn’t nothing to do with aging. Genetics and lifestyle do.
I happen to be a white woman who is 40 and even without make-up people peg me for 29 or 30.
So there!
aaaaaahhhh….. how old is this woman who makes deuce out of alot of people except for herself cause she thinks she’s pretty and perfect, can’t she remember who she is, from ” GIRLS GONE BAD ” AND NOW SHE GOT TONS OF HOME MADE PORNS. YOU GO BIATCH !
She looks like she’s been rode hard and put up wet!
everything written in this article is absolutely rediculous n its really very sad at how jealous of her u r. shes hilarious and most everything u said was based on ur own opinion and assumptions. sorry she has her own tv show with great rating and 3 books that have all gone to number one not to mention sold out book tours and comedy tours and u just write articles online hating on her.