Truly, in the immortal words of Kanye West, let’s have a toast for the jerkoffs. Let’s start this recap off with discussing Chelsea Handler’s hosting duties for last night’s VMAs. There were a lot of drinking jokes, and a lot of jokes about black guys. That’s her comfort zone. I thought she seemed rather nervous during her opening bit, and she had good reason to be nervous – she wasn’t very funny. True, her humor did not fall flat as I expecting (hoping) it would, but most of her jokes seemed really obvious – like, stuff I would come up with in two seconds as I was writing, as opposed to the kind of joke Chelsea and a team of comedy writers would come up with after several weeks. All in all, she felt like a very safe and unchallenging host, made worse by the fact that she played like she was being naughty and avante garde.
Onto the winners and losers and memorable moments:
* I really enjoyed Eminem’s opening number, “Not Afraid” plus his duet with Rihanna with whatever, the fire song. Just after he performed, Em got on a plane so he didn’t get a chance to walk up and accept his awards for Best Male Video and Best Hip Hop Video. I’ve really been buying Em as authentic about being clean, and so “Not Afraid” was especially moving.
* The Black Keys won Breakthrough Video! I love them.
*Jared Leto’s rock band, 30 Seconds to Mars won Best Rock Video. Name the song. You can’t, right?
*Baby Justin Bieber won his first VMA for Best New Artist. He also performed, but not in the theatre, he performed to a bunch of tween girls and with a bunch of embarrassed-looking backup dancers.
*Lady Gaga took home so many awards! Her “Bad Romance” video was like R.E.M.‘s “Losing My Religion” – if that doesn’t date me too badly. Gaga’s “Bad Romance” took home: Best Choreography, Best Female Video, Best Direction, Best Editing, Best Pop Video, Best Dance Music Video, and Video of the Year. And she got to meet Cher! YAY!
When Gaga (clad in meat) accepted the award from Cher, she said, “I never thought I’d be asking Cher to hold my meat purse… I promised that if I won this tonight, I’d announce the name of my new record,” she said. After exhaling, Gaga revealed it is titled Born This Way. “God makes no mistakes…I’m on the right track baby. I was born this way.”
*The whole Taylor Swift/Kanye West thing. CB is covering it in a separate post, but I thought I’d show Kanye’s performance. Does anyone remember Fatboy Slim? The beat sounds like Fatboy Slim.
*Drake…? I like Drake, but I don’t know much about him. His performance was pretty good, even though it included Swizz Beatz. But f-ck me, I love Mary J. Blige.
Can I just say, I thought Florence & the Machine was the best performance of the night? Her voice is f-cking incredible.
All in all, a night that was surprisingly about the music. Shock.
I really liked the opening number, which is all I saw.
Bieber was lip-syncing which is such a disappointment since he is still so young. I also think Usher was half syncing and half really singing. I was really impressed by Eminem.
My biggest disappointment was Chelsea. She was not funny at all and was very surprised since I usually find her really funny. I think maybe it was because she is used to talking so much trash and saying absolutely whatever she wants. Maybe mtv made her hold back some. Oh but I did like the part where she got in the hot tub with the Jersey Shore kids.
One more thing…..I’m over Lady Gaga. I just consider her ridiculous now.
Oh Kaiser! You were way too restrained in your analysis of Chelsea’s hosting! SHE WAS GHASTLY! Stomping around on the stage, spewing out unfunny material, looking like an 80’s streetwalker, it was AWFUL! I was so embarrassed for her I had to turn it off, only to flip back to it during Swifty’s song, and …..Oh Taylor! Honey- stick to the talky teenage love songs! Oh…she showed her complete lack of range last night and I felt so bad for her.
Can’t wait to watch Chelsea Lately tonite and see the round table lie to her about how great she was; The review in the NYT is scorching!
Florence and the machine did a great number. Her voice is reminiscent of Chrissy Hind and Rachel Yamagata.
Lady Gaga’s dress..what will say PETA about it?
Can MTV have a ligit awards show when they don’t even play video’s anymore? Maybe they should air it on YouTube b/c that’s the only way you can access them anymore.
Gosh Rhihanna hasn’t a note in her head has she?
i just dont understand the hype over taylor swift because she sure as hell didn’t put on much of a show
rihanna….*sigh* we ALL KNEW SHE COULDNT SING WORTH A DAMN LIVE!!! she couldnt back in the day and she never will, end of damn story. her voice strained everytime she tried to hit the high note. ON A SIDE NOTE: WTF WAS THAT ON HER HEAD?! she looked like a used tampon
and kanye looked like santa claus and mr. t’s love child
ON A POSITIVE NOTE: mary j blige was amazing!! and i’d never heard of florence and the machine before last night but she had the best performance, her voice was so beautiful
I LOVE LOVE LOVE Eminem. I’m sad that he wasn’t there to accept his awards but I’m glad that he won. Always have liked him. I guess I’m missing something because I didn’t think Rihanna was *that* bad. Of course I can’t carry a tune to save my life so I don’t know what to really listen for I guess. LOL As for Chelsea, didn’t like her before last night, don’t like her now. And the Bieb lip-syncing? Guess the karma for that was him not knowing how to get to the stage when he won best new artist of the year! *wink*
If you listen to the Recovery album (which I *highly* recommend you do), there is a lot of pain and torture in those lyrics…but there’s strength and ferocity of spirit, too. It’s an amazing, amazing album…
I actually thought Florence was horrible live, which is a shame, because I do like that song, and her voice has a great tone to it. To me, it sounded like she wasn’t getting enough air to be able to hold a note on-key. Maybe she was nervous? I want to give her the benefit of the doubt so badly.
Though, she was far better than Taylor Swift. I’m thinking that Kanye thing screwed her up more than we know, because she was on-key when she sang last year, but hasn’t been in a live performance since.
Usher’s got so many layered vocals, so yes, he was half-synching. But he actually sang most of his song… unlike Bieber. Maybe he finally started going thru puberty and MTV was afraid his voice was going to crack. Haha.
The Cher-meat-purse line was probably the best of the night. PETA will probably be fine with it, because they weren’t mad when Gaga wore real meat.
Also, I liked “Drake” better when he was Aubrey, and was an actor.
Chelsea seemed nervous ALL THE TIME, her jokes weren’t funny at all and there were times when I wanted to get on a plane to LA just to punch her. Anyway, the ceremony was kind of boring, but I just kept on watching because I didn’t want to miss all Lady Gaga’s outfits, she’s amazing… I feel like I love her even more. And when she recieved her second award and yelled: ‘… but I refused, CAUSE WE WERE BORN THIS WAY!!’ I said to myself: ‘born this way, that could be a really good name for her next album’, and HELL YES! it WAS the name of her next album.
Other than that, I didnt enjoy the awards at all. Oh, wait… I DID enjoy when my lover Cory Monteith got on stage for like 2 minutes and talked for 3 seconds, oh boy… those were glorious seconds.
CHER still looks one thousand times better than Gaga could anyday!!! Get a designer, Caca! It would do you and your “style” a world of good.
Really, Gaga…dead carcass? I hope it was well-sourced, at least.
And Rihanna. Fucking hopeless. It’s like every time she opens her mouth to sing in public, her career dies a little bit. She just needs to zip her trap, look cute, and not deviate from that.
Chelsea wasn’t funny and just boring. Loved Florence, definately the best performance. I’m shocked that MTV would give such a lowkey performer a spot. Taylor sucked. She had bad live performances before Kanye so he can’t be scapegoated. Bieber did sing live on American Idol and sounded good. I think he lipsynched because of voice problems. He did cancel a couple of concerts on tour and said that his voice is changing. Since it’s just an awards show, it was probably safer to save his voice for concerts.
wow, i love Mary.
she always gives me shivers.
as for the rest
eminem is always interesting.
rihannia and swifty made me want to rip my ears out.
florence and the machine, i am not all that into them, she is interesting and her and her band right interesting songs, but i always feel as though she is yelling all the time, it grates after a little while.
gaga, i really hope her next record tanks so she can disappear
cher, is fabulous. she always will be.
I flipped back the 2nd hour because of course I watched True Blood the 1st hour and then second hour I switched back and forth between Mad Men and the show. It was an ok show, I hated hearing Chelsea’s voice but I was thrilled Gaga won all those awards. Bad Romance was a video that I seriously watched like a million times. I am glad she won. It was an amazing night for her.
Florence killed it, she is amazing so hopefully the US catches on to her now.
p.s 30 Seconds To mars – “Kings & Queens”
just because you don’t like Jared Leto can you stop slating his band, they are awsome and millions of people agree so…
I only watched the beginning to see Eminem, loved his performance until RiRi came on with that pitchy verse she does. Her sound was awful and actually hard on the ears. I cant even listen to that song b/c her voice is so annoying in it.
Glad he won a few but it was totally predictable who would win what.
I’m confused by all of the eminem love. Does anyone else think this guy is deeply disturbed? His lyrics either make me deeply sad or enraged. How many songs does a man have to write about killing a woman that he loves before it’s not okay. And I was particularly disappointed that Rhianna would duet with him on a song like that after what she went through. One of the lyrics talks about tying her to a bed and then setting the house on fire. misogyny as entertainment?
Love Eminem. The End.
m and m sucks. i don’t get all the adoration over a song that glorifies domestic abuse. the dude is a rich white boy singing depressing gutter talk songs. if he ever was…he is not a member of the hood. he lives in a mansion yet broods in his songs. its about time rock…real music played by real individuals makes a return. rap/hip hop has run it’s course.
Why, when I click on the Florence and the Machine video, does it give me only some BS Foot Locker commercial???
I guess I’ll find it someplace else …..
She had me until the meat thing. WTF?
Eminem is so hot.
florence + the machine are great live. saw them recently and the show was beautiful and really fun. she reminds me of a young siouxsie sioux. i love the black keys, too. i’m going to see them next month – yay!
I’m also confused at all the Eminem love. I haven’t liked anything he’s released in recent years. I listened to his “Relapse” CD last year and ended up tossing it out my car window after hearing his lyrics about being anally raped by his stepfather. Save that crap for therapy, cuz I certainly don’t want to be “entertained” by it TYVM!! Happy for him that he’s in recovery, that’s great, but there are plenty of people in the world who have suffered way more than him. He seems to think he has cornered the market on pain.
Bless her heart, I’ve come to the conclusion that Rihanna is almost completely tone deaf. Chick is sexy as hell but she CANNOT sing to save her life!! She should just model.
Lady Caca is revolting and her music sucks a$$. Her popularity is a trend that can’t end soon enough.
Oh, and I agree with the general consensus that Chelsea was not the greatest choice for host.
Kaiser, the song is Kings and Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars-love the song-never saw the video lol
LOL @Linda comment no.24!
I’m with ya girl!
WTF – and that is one big rhetorical WTF, because truth is, i really don’t want to know…
Love, love, love eminem… wasn’t always that way, years ago I thought he was a douche, but I love him now. I’m not wild about that song he does with Rihanna, I just think it could give kids in DV situations an excuse or something… but anyway, I’m Not Afraid is a fantastic song. I don’t think I’d wanna be friends with him, though, he seems tooooo intense.
As of last night, I can’t STAND Chelsea Handler at ALL anymore! She was hanging by a thread for me, but she was SO unfunny and offensive the thread broke!
God bless Cher! {=0)
I loved every song on the Recovery CD with the exception of Cinderella Man. His lyrics are just so catchy. I especially love “So Bad” and “Space Bound”. Long live Eminem!!
Chelsea was embarrassing to watch. She was clearly nervous and also probably more than a littl drunk. She came off as especially crass and hard. She’s over.
It speaks to my relevance to the pop-culture demographic that is MTV as well as my dismay with the state of “music” these days that I have no idea who most of these bands or people are. I agree with the comment that MTV was much better when it actually did play music videos and wasn’t yet the fame-whore/no talent but I’m hot/ platform.
I didn’t see all of the show, but I did see Taylor’s performance (awful), Kanye’s (not bad), that Drake and Swizznozzle (awful, even though I love Mary J) and Florence (LOVE). Best performance was definitely Florence and The Machine.
Chelsea Handler looked thick and trashy and was flat and unfunny as the host. I hope she doesn’t host any award show ever again. I would rather they had Ellen DeGeneres do it.
^^^Cosign
I disagree with those who think “I Love The Way You Lie” glorifies domestic violence. It is a song that is deeper than what appears on the surface. It gave me chills the first time I heard it…it is beyond powerful and is full of the agony of loving someone who hurts you. The way we fight something terrible is to put it in the bright light of day. I don’t see it as glorifying domestic violence but, rather, forcing the real tragedy that exists for some couples out in the open. I know many will disagree but I thought it was very brave for Rihanna to put herself out there in this song. It is so true that there is a thin line between love and hate.
Best performance: tie – Florence Welch and Lady Gaga’s brief singing during her acceptance speech. No lip-synching.
Oh Eminem. I’m glad he cleaned up and kicked drugs, but seems like he’s addicted to another kind of “drug”, you know that type injected on faces. I hope he won’t be rapping about botox and bleparoplasty anytime soon.
FLORENCE + THE MACHINE IS ONE OF A KIND!
Florence was f***ing awesome. And she can sing even more powerful thatn those few notes she ended with. Brit award performance with Dizzee Rascal anyone?!? Good luck to her in the states now.
And Rhianna was shockingly bad in those few lines with eminem in the opening. And Chelsea was sh*t.
I think B.o.B and Hayley Williams where the best performers, they sang live and it was an awsome medley of Rap and Pop-Rock !!!