E! Networks has a new preview available for Lindsay’s mom Dina’s upcoming reality show, Living Lohan.

The preview is filled with such cringe-inducing and cliché statements as “A lion protects her cubs,” and “It’s a big game of chess and it’s our move. Bring it on now, let’s go.”

Dina is shown discovering the still from older daughter Lindsay’s alleged sex tape with ex Calum Best that turned out to be two different people entirely. 14 year-old Ali comes in the room, smiling and gaping at the computer monitor. Dina then makes some phone calls threatening someone about the photo that’s supposed to be Lindsay, saying “you need to get it down immediately because I’ve already been in touch with my attorneys, and the story is absolutely false.”

Dina says “there’s got to be boundaries with these people, the paparazzi and everything. There’s just got to be more boundaries set.” That’s rich coming from a woman who is letting cameras into her two younger children’s life!

As for 14 year-old Ali, who says she wants to be just like her older sister, Lindsay, Dina claims “Ali loves this business, and unfortunately I have to manage her.”

Unfortunately you have to let the whole world know exactly how you’re messing up your two other kids, Dina, but that doesn’t mean we have to watch it.

The NY Post has more details of the first episode, which sounds like it shows Dina in just as accurate a light as you expect:

The pilot episode, called “Mommy Will Fix It,” centers around the family’s North Merrick, LI, McMansion.

See Dina buffer her family from rumor, protect Ali’s music taste from execs, and help Ali cope with her music producer Jeremy Greene, who is rumored to be dating big sis Lindsay.

“You’re not here to please anyone but you as an artist,” she says to Ali during a conference call with music execs.

In her daily news search for all things Lohan, Dina, 45, says she’s looking for “idiots who are talking trash.”

“I don’t live my life every day going, ‘Oh, they’re talking about us,’ ” Dina snaps. “I’m over it. Yes, it still does hurt, but people are just idiots.”

“Oh God, everyone’s talking about Lindsay’s intervention,” she mimics in a valley-girl voice. “This is so stupid. They better not talk about Ali like this, or there’s going to be war. I’m like a lion with her cubs…”

[From The NY Post]

The real bombshell is this tidbit at the end of The Post’s story, though, which claims that Dina went partying, leaving Ali, 14, and Cody, 11, at home alone when a fire broke out in the house! This is the first I’ve heard of it, so if it’s true it was likely a small fire that they were able to contain and keep from reaching the press. It’s unclear from this story when this happened exactly or if it will be included in the show.

And mom’s right there with the bad girls – leaving the kids at home to carouse at a party thrown in her honor, only to discover that her Long Island house had caught fire with her children asleep inside, says a source close to the family.

When the family hits Las Vegas to record Ali’s first album, Dina meets with Hefner at the Palms and allegedly “allows herself to have a little fun” during a dinner with magician Lance Burton.

[From The NY Post]

That’s awful although the kids are surely ok if this is all we’re hearing about it. Do you think the house fire inspired Dina to hire a babysitter or stay home with her kids more?

Dina Lohan and Ali Lohan, 14, are shown at Candies Foundation ‘Event To Prevent’ Benefit on 5/7/08, thanks to WENN.