Deep down in my little heart, I truly, deeply believe that the most romantic thing a couple can do is talk about the legal specifics of their love. What says “I am passionately, over-the-moon in love with my new spouse” more than calling Ryan Seacrest three days after you got married to tell him about your pre-nup? You’re sitting there silently because the answer to that question is obvious: nothing. Nothing says love more than chatting amicably with Seacrest’s hair spikes about your big day.

And as a wedding gift to his new wife, that’s exactly what Pete Wentz did this morning. Actually, he snuck out of his bedroom while Ashlee was still asleep. But that’s just a technicality.

“We have signed a pre-nup,” the newlywed rocker admitted on Ryan Seacrest’s KIIS-FM radio show Tuesday. (Ashlee was alseep, he said.) He said “she legally is a Wentz … I don’t know what she’ll do with her stage name, that’s up to her. She hasn’t decided that.”

He said they’re skipping out on a honeymoon (for now) and have been hanging out in their basement in L.A. “We got some blow-up palm trees,” Wentz said. “A little fake-n-bake tanning booth. We’re eating DiGiorno’s pizza, getting in that tanning oven every once in a while, it’s great. It’s gonna look like we’re on that private jet,” he added. “We’re gonna save that 30 grand, you know?” I feel great!” he said. “It is sunny and 65 in my head.”

Wentz still refused to confirm Simpson’s pregnancy. When Seacrest asked why they decided to wed now, Wentz replied, “I get the backdoor question you’re asking me, but it’s been something we’ve been planning for a long time. I gave her a promise ring four months ago.” Seacrest later asked if he’s thought about baby names. Wentz laughed. “Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed,” he said. “The only thing I’m confirming now is that we’re in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees.”

[From Us Magazine]

Um…

Um…….. alright. Where to start. [JayBird inhales deeply]. I didn’t HEAR the interview, so it’s hard for me to tell if/to what extent Pete Wentz is teasing. On the one hand, my instinct is to think Ryan Seacrest must have asked him what they were doing instead of a honeymoon, and Pete was just joking. On the other hand, it’s Pete Wentz and Ashlee Simpson, and having a bunch of blow-up palm trees and a microwave pizza for a basement honeymoon doesn’t seem that out of character.

I will point out that Pete said this” baby has not been confirmed. Not “a” baby has not been confirmed. To me, the phrasing he used is a little more personal, and implies that a baby does indeed exist. But frankly my brain is so boggled from trying to figure out if there’s a blow-up kiddie pool in the Simpson/Wentz basement that I’m not sure I’m able to dissect the inner-workings of Pete Wentz’s brain. And I’m pretty much okay with that.

Here’s Pete Wentz trying to eat Ashlee Simpson’s face at the Cloverfield premiere on January 1st. Images thanks to WENN.