What’s more real: Suri or the Loch Ness Monster?

People are comparing Suri to Bigfoot, so I thought I’d change it to the Loch Ness Monster to be original. Like Bigfoot and the Loch Ness Monster, there are “eyewitness” accounts, but no verifiable photographs of the Scientology savior, Suri Cruise. Something’s wrong with the baby or it simply does not exist. Katie may have had it earlier than “expected” or she may have suffered an unfortunate miscarriage that hasn’t been acknowledged. Regardless there is something off about this story that needs to be exposed by the mainstream gossip press.

All sane celebrity friends of Tom and Katie have yet to see the baby, except for Leah Remini, a devout Scientologist who now claims to have seen the infant:

Entertainment Tonight reports that the actress said in an interview in the upcoming issue of Us Weekly that she visited the baby several weeks ago.

“She’s a newborn and normal size!” Remini said.

Like Tom Cruise, Remini is a member of the Church of Scientology.

Even though they had a very public courtship, Cruise and Holmes have not presented their baby in public and so far haven’t inked a deal with a magazine for exclusive photos of the baby.

Conspiracy theories abound in the tabloid press and on blogs about why baby Suri hasn’t been seen. Some even speculate that the baby doesn’t exist at all, while others point out that Tom Cruise also kept his two adopted children, Isabella, 13, and Connor, 11, out of the public eye when they were little.

As for Suri, a family friend described the baby as “a cross between the two – [with] dark, straight hair and dark eyes.”

Yeah, so we’ll take your word for it, Leah Remini, even though Suri or a bundle resembling an infant has never been photographed despite hoards of paparrazi trailing the Holmes-Cruise family for the past three months. The infant also hasn’t been seen by non-Scientology celebrities since it was said to be born three months ago, and the “birth certificate” is suspect.

There’s a far-away blurry picture of Katie Holmes holding a tow-headed baby, but that’s probably a fake. There’s also a far-away picture of what looks like a baby carriage, but it could be a prop or something else entirely.

None of Katie’s family has seen the baby according to reports, but Katie was said to have visited them in Ohio at the end of Mayand to have brought Suri with her! WTF is going on?!

Katie was spotted back in LA visiting her favorite overpriced store, Barneys. As one commentor on x17 points out, she didn’t buy any baby items. I always get something for my son when I’m shopping.

The bloggers always uncover stories before the mainstream press does, and this is no exception. It’s not as important as a lack of WMD in Iraq, but it’s just as obvious.

Header image from Pink is the New Blog. Other images from x17online.

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1 Response to “What’s more real: Suri or the Loch Ness Monster?”

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  1. Jude says:

    This is getting fucking creepy. If these two really want to address the rumors that her pregnancy and spawning were fake, they’d better give us at least one good shot of the alienspawn.