Taylor Swift thinks Jake Gyllenhaal is good husband material

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Another day, another million reports of another date between Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift. It’s the one thing that every tabloid can agree on – Swifty and Jake are hitting it. And by “hitting it” I mean “braiding each other’s hair.” I said before that I find this whole thing icky and gross, and now that I’ve had more time to think… it’s still a very strange coupling. Maybe I just don’t get how a guy like Jake finds anything interesting/attractive about Taylor. What’s the attraction? Yes, she’s a pretty girl, but… I don’t know. She’s not sexy, at all. Whatever, I guess. The tabloids love this.

Hollywood Life’s report about the coupling suggests that Swifty is into “older guys” because “She comes on too strong. She scares off the men in her life … and her therapy is to express her feelings on paper.” Which scares off men, I guess. Because no one likes being called a butthead by the girl who writes songs about middle school! HL’s source also notes, “She has a thing for older men. She’s young and wants what every girl wants her age — to get married. … [Taylor and Jake] just met and are spending time together, but Jake seems to want to settle down. He’s ready for marriage and he wants kids.” Ugh. Yes, more “Jake just wants to get married and have babies” stuff. And now he’s found his perfect virginal wife! God, how stereotypical. I used to believe that Jake just wanted to get married and be settled down, but I don’t believe that any more. I think that’s just his line, what he says to get girls in bed. I think if he wanted to be married and have kids, that’s what he would be doing.

Next up: Us Weekly. They claim that Jake and Swifty’s first date was… apple picking. Jesus. Christ. Next they’ll be telling me that he picked dandelions for her, and presented them to her in a bouquet, wrapped in a ribbon that was originally part of his mother’s wedding dress. Us Weekly reports: “The two were spotted Saturday at the Fishkill Farms in Hopewell Junction, N.Y, where they toured fall foliage and went apple-picking.” A source notes: “They were walking through the trees, having fun together. They looked happy. Some of the customers tried to take a photo of them, but they were hiding from them in the trees. They drove through the orchard and bought the apples on the way out.” Jake paid. It was three dollars. The magazine also has a source who claims that the relationship is “maybe two or three weeks old…I’m not sure who pursued whom — but they’re both into it.”

Only People Magazine seems to have romance (and unicorn) doubting sources. The sources seem like they are deeply entrenched in Team Swifty, and they sounds very mom-like: “Taylor is very serious about her career. For her, it’s all about the career right now. She’s not really interested in getting heavily involved with anyone. If she does have a serious relationship, it’s probably going to be with someone who’s not in the industry or someone who’s not a household name. With Jake, she probably figures, why not be seen together and keep everyone guessing.” You know what, Mom? If you couldn’t get her to stop with John Mayer, I don’t trust you as a source. Anyway, a Team Jake source also chimed in: “They’re cute together. But I don’t think there’s anything to it. Everyone’s talking about it. They hung out. But that’s it. I don’t think they’re a couple.”

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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28 Responses to “Taylor Swift thinks Jake Gyllenhaal is good husband material”

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  1. LOVE ANGELINA says:

    I hope People’s source is right. I don’t think they would make a good couple at all. They have nothing in common.

  2. All Is On says:

    At least they don’t have her paired off with Adam Duritz…yet.

  3. Rita says:

    We can not let these types of relationships blossom in this country or we are doomed as a nation. This apple-picking-man paying- walk in the wood must stop and stop now. Good God, what is to become of our children if they pursue simple wholesome relationships? There’ll be no real fake celebrities.

  4. Relli says:

    I think she looks like a young pre-druggy kiki dunst, his other long time love. Also I don’t think he digs the sexy type he is into the blonde, girl next door thing kirsten, reese, taylor all fit that mold, according to lainey rachel mcadams. The vamp sexy girls don’t seem to last, maybe theey come off too strong. I don’t think an 8 year difference is that big of a deal after 25, but 20 such an awkward age.

  5. scotchy says:

    the whole thing seems like a publicity scam.
    i mean apple picking, come on.

  6. Rachel says:

    My impression of Taylor is that she goes into every relationship thinking the guy is the one. Life doesn’t work that way, especially at her age. People like each other, they get to know each other and date. Sometimes it works out, more often people realize that they’re just not interested. Most people move on, Taylor writes songs about how guys screw her over.

  7. Kitten says:

    This is awful. I hope it’s PR stunt because this is a terrible pairing.

  8. Marjalane says:

    This just makes what little regard I had for J.G., plummet. What people tend to forget is that even though Swifty is 20, and a lot of you seem to think the age difference is no big deal- She hasn’t had anything near a normal life, mom, dad, the managers, the crew- everything up to and including making her breakfast and paying her bills is done for her. I think she lives in some kind of teenage romance novel world, and she definitely hasn’t had any kind of education past a GED. I have to think this is a big showmance kind of relationship.

  9. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    EWWWWW, I dont like either of em.

  10. Isabel says:

    This is just gross! I never was a Switfy hater, but I’m getting super tired of this kid. The Swift/Gyllenhaal combo does NOT work. This is icky.

  11. Dorothy#1 says:

    You are right she is just not sexy, BUT he is sexy enough for both of them!

  12. Samigirl says:

    I just watched October Sky for the 8309283091th time. I absolutely LOVE JG, and I do think he would be a great husband/dad/ect, but…in a few years. I agree with Kaiser on this one 🙂
    I think Reese Witherspoon kind of spoiled him for a few years off marriage and kids, and right now, since people still see him in that light, he is going to take advantage of that. Hell, known womanizer Adam Levine is one of his best friends…I could see him playing devil’s advocate too.
    Anywho, if they were in there 30’s the 9 year age difference wouldn’t be so terrible. But right now, it is kinda icky.

  13. Oi says:

    Hey people, lets not knock the apple licking date here (edit: that’s supposed to say picking. help me…that image was not good)! I went apple picking with my boyfriend once, and it was very romantic! Granted we were both HS sophomores, his parents and younger sister came and drove me home after but that’s not the point!

    Please make this stop. Really. Maybe just make her stop.

  14. guesty says:

    she just doesn’t get it OR maybe she does! lol. first lautner then mayer now jakey.

  15. C'est la vie mon ami- says:

    He wants to settle down and have kids..? Well he’s just in luck! Taylor swift is a child. The question is whom is he REALLY settling down with? :/

  16. Kbomb says:

    I hate her more and more every day. Still wanna bang him half to death though.

  17. flutters says:

    The print issue of Us Weekly actually has a source it says is from Team Swifty saying they think this is for publicity. Also a Team Jakey source saying they don’t think this will last a minute. But other ‘sources’ in the mag say other things. It’s painfully obvious it’s a PR stunt and like that People source says their people want to keep the public guessing. I just think it’s so weird that it’s come to the point where this stuff is a promo tool.

    I feel the need to say that my skepticism has NOTHING to do with Toothy Tile because IMHO Toothy doesn’t exist. I think most blinds these days are either (rival) publicist plants or BS trying to bump up site hits by turning fantasy into a guessing game. There’s really not much stopping the tabloids from printing false rumors these days so blind items are otherwise pointless.

    Did anybody see Swifty on the Today Show yesterday? That was painful to listen to but it’s amazing how teflon she is when it comes to surviving AWFUL live performances.

  18. Kitten says:

    @Flutters-Could not agree with you more about the “blind items”. The fascinating part (to me at least) is how willing people are to believe the crap that is spewed by random gossip sites or bloggers (excluding C/B of course!). Never ceases to amaze me how easily people can be manipulated. *shrug* This is the country that voted Bush into a second term so I guess it’s not all that surprising.

  19. mollination says:

    Speculators are hilarious. We don’t know these people – who knows if they have anything in common or not for sure? People are so quick to take a persona at face value.

  20. zap says:

    Jake is gay Taylor wants press , that’s exactly what it is and its not the first time they have done the same thing with different people

  21. Angel says:

    No. This cannot happen and I refuse to believe it.

    NEXT.

  22. jover says:

    Thank you Marjalane and Flutters it is stunning how many bad live performances she can dial in and yet people in the media/show biz refer to her as a “singer.” Can’t anyone call it like it is. She couldn’t be any more contrived and manufactured if she tried. Her existence is nothing more than being chaperoned from one stage event to another to sell her crap music. How can you have any concept of the real world when you are totally wrapped in a fantasy celebrity bubble world?

  23. Pink Unicorn in the Room says:

    Ha! Hehehehehe…giggle and so forth.

    Certainly she’s ideal beard material: young and silly enough to accept a sweetheart deal between two Publicity Machines, with little personal obligation.

    There was a rumor he was finally going to come out, but his PR team squashed it for the same reasons that a number of you may squawk back at this post. (“Not Jack Gyllenhaal! Gay?! But he’s always heterosexual in my fantasies! Now I can’t imagine him as a leading man in a blockbuster, ever again.”)

    Too bad for his boyfriend. 🙁

  24. icantbelievethis says:

    ‘Never ceases to amaze me how easily people can be manipulated. *shrug* This is the country that voted Bush into a second term so I guess it’s not all that surprising.’

    Hey now, I don’t believe the Blind Items.

  25. Allison says:

    …um…isn’t she like 20?

  26. suzycreamcheese says:

    wow, she wears a TON of eye makeup!

  27. Nicky says:

    According to someone on Twitter, Jake was in Taylor’s dressing room hanging out with her mom whilst she was taping her NBC Thanksgiving special in NYC last night.
    This isn’t going well for Jake, he’s lost credibility because it looks like (and probably is) a sloppy PR stunt. Even if it is genuine, he’ll still come out of this with a dodgy reputation.
    I can see how it’s working in Taylor’s favor, this is what she’s famous for – dating celebs and then writing songs about them but I can’t see how this is benefiting Jake in any way. The overwhelming majority of the comments left on various websites are negative and Jake is fast losing the target demographic for his movie. It wouldn’t surprise me if this damages the success of the film at the box office and maybe his PR team realize that now, hence the latest article in People claiming that it’s nothing serious.

  28. Meaza says:

    he’s too hot for her