Heather Mills buys $5 million NY apartment

Lock up your cows: Heather Mills and her bovine mouth really are moving to the U.S. The former Mrs. Paul McCartney has purchased a $5 million condo in the West Village on Perry Street. What a disgusting, disgusting thought. I’m not 100 percent positive, but I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to stable a cow in an apartment building in Manhattan.

I’m not calling Mills fat, but that jaw of hers unhinges in this dramatic fashion – and at a very unseemly angle – when she’s angry (which, let’s be honest, is about 90% of the time she talks), and it makes her look just like a cow chewing its cud. Ironic for a vegan, no?

Heather Mills has splashed out over £2.5 million on a New York apartment.

The former model – who won £24.3 million in her divorce settlement from Beatles legend Sir Paul McCartney – will be living in the same exclusive area as fashion designer Calvin Klein and actress Nicole Kidman.

A real estate expert said: “It’s a very special property. She will have important neighbours.” The apartment is in the prestigious 173 Perry Street block, designed by architect Richard Meier.

It is located in the city’s West Village area and lies just half a mile from a store owned by Heather’s ex-stepdaughter, fashion designer Stella McCartney. British-born Heather will live in the apartment with her four-year-old daughter Beatrice, from her marriage to Paul.

[From Female First]

Supposedly Heather is moving to New York because she is tired of the way the London press treats her. Always the victim, no? Heather’s completely unaware that the press hates her because of her horrible attitude – and if she doesn’t change that, New York won’t be any kinder to her.

Now that I know Heather’s address, I plan on parking myself outside her building wearing a sandwich board that says “Eat Heather Mills, Not Cows,” on it. She really can’t argue with it; my message is still vegan-friendly.

Here’s Heather Mills at the ‘Thank the Monkey’ Book Party at the SoHo Grand in New York on April 26th. I really wish there were more information on the last photo; I can’t even imagine what’s going on there. It seems Heather’s trying to ingratiate herself to New York City. Good luck. Images thanks to WENN.

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20 Responses to “Heather Mills buys $5 million NY apartment”

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  1. daisy42465 says:

    Thanks for the laugh, great story Jaybird!!

  2. Lauri says:

    Can’t they revoke her passport? We got rid of one disgusting cow-Madonna-already. We don’t need to start importing foreign ones.

    Besides, she should stay in England where that child will have frequent and easy access to her father. It is wrong to take the child so far away from her other parent. Seems like Sir Paul would have a solid argument if he wanted to legally prevent her from taking the little girl away.

  3. Syko says:

    Maybe that’s it, Lauri – this is the British revenge for foisting Madonna off on them!

    I think it’s wrong to take the baby so far from the father too. But these people have so much money, flipping back and forth across the Atlantic is no more a big deal than for you or me to run to the convenience store for a Slurpy.

    Ugly outfit she’s wearing. Ugly person too.

  4. Banana Boat says:

    Even when she smiles she has this snarling curl of her lip- it’s frightening. She’ll piss off the wrong New Yorker and they’ll have no reservations about beating her with her peg leg!

  5. Jody says:

    Banana Boat, HAHA :lol: peg leg…

  6. vdantev says:

    Did everyone else in the building move out ?

  7. duda says:

    Good Luck NYC!!!!

  8. Hollz says:

    Thank the monkey? and I’m the first one to think “spank the monkey” you guys are slippin :P

    I’m just glad shes not coming to Canada

  9. G. says:


  10. Karen says:

    First they send the idoiot Backhams (seriously, is there anybody dumber than those two on the planet) and now they send the cow? Looks like the Brits have launched a new cold war on us.

  11. Nan says:

    JayBirdie, very funny. Does Larry David help write your stories or what? I was thinking the same thing about her mouth when checking out that pic b/reading your story. I was thinking “Girl, control your mouth, it looks all sloppy & shit”. I’m a hop, skip and a jump from Perry St. actually. I go & get my foot massages there at a place called Angel Feet. They are dreamlike, so much I need an ambulance to take my ass home or just get carried to a car. Since I have an appt. w/them this friday…is there anything anyone here wants me to do?

  12. Cindy Kennedy says:

    People say they are sick of her, yet everything she does or says gets publicity, and people keep talking about her.

  13. CandyKay says:

    Interesting that you mention the dress, Syko. Designers are usually lining up to dress celebrities. Apparently not Heather Mills, however. This outfit looks off the rack.

  14. Carrie says:

    She’s not a REAL vegan. She slips into Burger King and shovels double cheesburgers into her face when no-one’s looking. Handy for her that her mouth is shaped like a rubbish chute.

  15. geronimo says:

    This better be true, Jaybird. Although having said that, she’ll wear out her ‘welcome’ in no time at all and will be back to scoping the globe for someplace where she and her grotesqueness will be welcomed and appreciated. I forsee a very nomadic future for Heather.

  16. silly lilly says:

    I see she really cares about her daughter so much that she is moving half way around the world. Oh yeah, she is special okay.

  17. Alice says:

    Good riddance, I’m glad when she’s gone. She’s such a waste of space.

  18. Cindy Kennedy says:

    I must say, the pin striped suit does look off the rack. Bet she got it at Burlington Coat Factory.

    She often wears mannish looking clothes like this. It doesn’t help her image. She already seems harsh and unfeminine. She could do well to wear softer colors, dresses and skirts more often.

  19. Flyttstdning says:

    I really enjoyed the article. Its always nice when you read something that is not only informative but entertaining. Thanks again, Jesus Bell ~ Flyttstdning

  20. kenneth says:

    poor heather.

    great article though!