I just watched this new trailer for Cowboys & Aliens with my mouth hanging open. I mean… how did this film get greenlit? What was the pitch? “You know how people loved Independence Day? You know how people love Clint Eastwood cowboy movies? Why don’t we combine the two?!?” Yes, this film is about cowboys like Daniel Craig (the outlaw cowboy) and Harrison Ford (the federal marshal) battling aliens in the old west of something. I guess it’s supposed to be circa 19th century? All I know is that Daniel Craig’s accent work is horrendous, and the story looks like something two middle-aged Clint Eastwood fetishists came up with during an acid trip. Oh, and Olivia Wilde is in it. She plays an old-timey whore, I think. Even though they tried to ugly her up (I think), she just looks too modern for this.
So… is the story that Daniel Craig was an outlaw who got abducted by aliens and they gave him some magical bracelet that deflects the alien powers while also wiping his mind of everything, including whores? And then he goes right back into town and Harrison Ford is all “GIVE HIM TO ME!!!” and then the aliens are like “Wazzup?!?” and Daniel is all “Remember that bracelet you GAVE me? Eat it, bitches!!!”
Jesus. If this film is a success, I shall eat my hat.
Thanks to Gawker for the tip!
looks strange
What. The. Hell. That looks like a truly strange movie with a lot of big names attached to it. At least they are thinking outside the box a little bit.
LOL Ok its not a dongfest All I can think about is Harrison Ford having a heart attack during sex and I don’t find Daniel Craig attractive. Who the hell is Olivia Wilde and why don’t I know who she is?
The concept of this movie looks hella cool to me. Its Sci-fi meets western. I hate westerns but the sci-fi makes it interesting. My interest is piqued.
Quite strange yes, but this trailer is so good that makes me want to see this movie.
And there are a lot of good names attached to it… plus I’m a steampunk fetishist.
Thumbs up.
I will see it!
More like a bongfest, because you will need one before seeing this movie.
chessefest…but whose a$$ is that with the serious wedgie? has to be craigs.
Looks…different. I love Daniel Craig, so chances are I’ll probably go see it.
I’ll definitelly see it. Too crazy to miss 🙂
The best thing about this movie is probably Daniel Craig’s butt in the movie poster. Otherwise, Harrison Ford is at least 2 decades past the dongfest years.
@jen..lol…bongfest!
Sounds like that Jonah Hex movie only Olivia Wilde replaces Megan Fox as the old timey ho. Oh, and there are aliens, too.
Harrison can do no wrong…sigh…
I love the Daniel Craig Serious Face.
Absolutely ridiculous premise for a movie. However… The movie poster is excellent! Yes please, I would like the poster. Thank you!
He looks like Spartacus in the the thumbnail
I don’t know…. it sounds a little weird to me..
I’ll check it out. I love dudes in chaps…
It’s based on a comic book, so that’s why it was greenlit!
It’s actually a really good trailer, I had no idea the film was going to be as serious as they’re making it out to be. I’m honestly looking forward to this more than The Green Lantern (which had an absolutely atrocious trailer).
I’ll just watch it for the a$$ in the chaps! LOL
daniel craig, harrison ford, old-time western and aliens…sounds like my dream movie!
Sounds stupid, but it looks pretty cool! And you didn’t mention that Steven Speilberg is involved…..are his movies ever NOT hits?
Plus, I <3 Daniel.
BWWWAAAAHHHHAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! I might rent it and get drunk with some friends while watching it.
Yummy, mindless destruction and wanton violence… I’m in !!!
Cheesy goodness!
I love Sophie Marceau’s comment that Daniel Craig looks like a Russian Spy (because he IS!) His face is looking starved like Lambert Wilson and Pascal Greggory though.
Going to the movie theater is a special treat for Mr Missy and me. The last movie we saw was “Inception” and it was worth every penny of the $16 “matinee” price.
. . . This is totally a movie worthy of a date night. I’m so fucking in!
Forget the movie, the ass on that poster is awesome. Or is it the chaps that make it look so? I wonder if it’s Daniel or a stand in…
Could. Not. Stop. Laughing!
From Daniel’s slightly serial killer look to Harrison’s wheezing while riding the horse and delivering horrible cheesy dialog…what is not to love???
Seriously, this looks like an epic pile of crap, but I have to see it because it’s Bond! and Indiana! and Thirteen! LMAO!
Now, where can I get a full sized version of that poster??
It actually looks okay to me. It has a lot of big names behind it so I’m sure they’ll promote it well and it will sell.
I had never noticed Daniel Craig in anything until I watched a James Bond movie w Daniel Craig this spring. I was so turned off by the first scene where he is crawling all over a woman with his stubby, hairy man legs and pursing his lips together to imply some kind of serious emotion that I can’t see past that to anything he does as an actor. I find him supremely unattractive. I have an aversion to gnomes, as well. I wonder if that has something to do with it.
I might catch it when it comes to cable if there’s nothing else worth watching that night.
I really really don’t find Olivia Wilde attractive. And she is waaay to young for the aging male leads. Movie looks lame but I understand people loved the book. I won’t see it.
LOL – this should be the friggen poster tagline:
“Harrison Ford is all “GIVE HIM TO ME!!!” and then the aliens are like “Wazzup?!?” and Daniel is all “Remember that bracelet you GAVE me? Eat it, bitches!!!”
Linda R, I saw Daniel for the first time in Casino Royale. Didn’t bother to watch the next Bond films. He should have stopped at CR. A lot of people commented on the constant lip pursing. The most laughable scene to me was when he professed his love to Vesper Lynd while recuperating from his gratuitous torture. It was ridiculously horrible acting.
Daniel Craig has obviously hit a strange patch. Making a joke of a film like this, leaving his longtime girlfriend. . . what’s next?????
😆 sounds like a movie to watch on dvd, whilst drunk
Steven Spielberg is a producer, so…I’m going to bet it is a big hit.
I am totally going to watch this.
And Ron Howard is the director . . . so you might be right.
wonder why they decided to show a poster of a wedgie,
the film will be big, looks dumb tho
totally psyched to see this. i love this kind of stuff.
I hope you burn in everlasting hell for being stupid enough not to know this was a very popular AWESOME graphic novel.
Die in a fire.
Can’t wait to see it.
Daniel Craig is looking old.
It’s true, Kaiser, I love your stuff — but you should have done your research on this one. Spielberg, Howard, Ford, and a famous graphic novel? This will be tongue-in-cheek huge.
Targeted to the moneymaking summer demographic: teenage boys through 20-something. Lots of point and shoot, the equivalent of car chases, lots and lots of big explosions, grisly deaths every few minutes, fist-fighting and sex. Presented with a screenplay with all these elements the Hollywood bigwigs see mucho $$$$$$$$$ and thus a shitfest like this gets made with big names. What a bore…
Ugh. Big gobble turkey, as far as I’m concerned. And how the hell is Wilde getting movie roles? She’s good at playing a bitch, and that’s it. Maybe her princess pitch actually works.
Ugh.
EDIT: And all you guys getting excited about the graphic adaptation should remember ‘Jonah Hex’ and how stellar it did at the box office. Shitty actress playing a whore? Bomb. Excellent actresses playing whores? Success.
Are they for real?
It looks like Outlander in the old west though.
…only I am pretty sure I will still like Outlander better if ever I watch this flick.
You would be surprised by how many people dig the cowboy/space drama though. Look at the fan boys and girls who still fawn over Firefly/Serenity to this day.
Now that show was a big “wtf”. Cowboys in space, talking the old west slang with a bit of Chinese thrown in there..err yeah.
shit i’ll watch it. not in the theaters tho
Surely it can’t be worse than
‘Cowboy Ninja Viking’
http://uk.movies.ign.com/articles/113/1132858p1.html
Total cheese
uh, cowboys & aliens? sounds like a tanker. harrison ford & daniel craig? geriatrics, anyone? i’ll expect to see them with walkers going down the red carpet.
it’s actually getting good buzz. I will definitely see it. The Jonah Hex script was weak, this script is tighter. But of course, it’s a crap shoot since all the good actors just say what they want™(Alba 2010)
Somebody get me a cracker cause this looks like some serious cheese. And yet… I wanna see it. It may have something to do with Daniel Craig’s hot ass and that clench-jawed, pout thing he does that I find strangely hot. It may be the fact that he looks so damned dirty and rugged and well hawt! I wanna saddle up and ride that bitch till we’re both sore. Plus I have a thing for westerns ever since I used to sneak read my dad’s Louis L’Amour and other adult western books from his closet. And, Steven Spielberg is the executive producer. How bad can it be?
How ’bout ” Cheesy Dong” Fest?
You people are tools. If this post said it was a great up an coming film, all of you would have jumped on board with that too.
Just take it for what it is, entertainment. Good lord. People are allowed to make fun movies without a billion wannabe-critics jumping allover it before it even gets a chance.
Hi there very nice blog!! Man .. Excellent .. Amazing .. I’ll bookmark your site and take the feeds additionally?I am glad to search out so many helpful info right here in the publish, we’d like develop extra techniques in this regard, thank you for sharing. . . . . .
Magnificent beat ! I would like to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog site? The account aided me a appropriate deal. I were tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vibrant transparent idea