Dane Cook’s eviction trial over dog poop is underway

Comedian Dane Cook’s landlord is trying to evict him for basically never cleaning up his miniature pinscher’s poop from the common areas of his West Hollywood apartment complex. Both Cook and his girlfriend have been warned multiple times and put on notice by their neighbors and the landlord, who was forced to start eviction proceedings when they continually refused to pick up their dog’s nasty presents. There are even “no dog poop” signs right on the yard where Cook was letting his dog defecate without apparently picking up a single pile. The case has now gone to trial, where it will be decided by jury.

Cook’s lawyer questioned potential jurors ahead of the trial, trying to weed out people who have the crazy idea that it’s grosser to step in dog poop than some minty gum:

Cook’s landlord has gone to court, trying to get the “comedian” evicted because his dog habitually craps in the public areas of the apartment building. Dane’s lawyer is asking prospective jurors a number of revealing questions, including:

– What’s worse. Stepping in gum or stepping in dog poop?
– If you live next to a park and saw dog poop, would you avoid that park?
– Would you confront someone about spitting out gum on the sidewalk or not picking up dog poop in a public place?
– Would you confront a neighbor about picking up after their dog?

From TMZ

There is no way the defense would pick me for that jury. My husband and I recently moved to Berlin and after a few months I’m still steamed nearly every day when I encounter piles of dog crap on the sidewalk. I was practically screaming when my son got out of the car yesterday and almost stepped in a pile. It is socially acceptable to let your dog crap on the sidewalk here and I have stepped in sh&t more in the few months I’ve lived here than my entire life leading up to this point. I now carry plastic lunch bags in my purses and pick up the crap when I go for a walk it’s near my house and my family is likely to step in it, but it’s hard to avoid it when you’re on a bike. (For the record this is a lovely city and I really like the people and all the great things to do here. I would highly recommend you visit. This is a major pet peeve of mine, though, and the main thing that distracts from an otherwise wonderful place for me.)

TMZ also reports that the jury is due to see a video of Cook’s squatting dog, aptly named “Beast,” which will prove beyond a doubt that he’s the owner who is irresponsibly leaving bacteria bombs all over the lawn. Cook should get his unfunny ass evicted, and he should be forced to pay a fine to the neighbors he’s inconvenienced during the time he’s lived there. Cook could potentially use this experience for material for his mostly plagiarized routine, but Louis CK (link leads to video) probably cleans up after his dog.

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25 Responses to “Dane Cook’s eviction trial over dog poop is underway”

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  1. bored says:

    The only thing that really strikes me as interesting about this story is the fact that Dane Cook has a landlord. Why is he renting? Can’t he afford to buy his own home where his animal can shit where ever it pleases without disturbing anyone?

  2. daisy424 says:

    CB; I found Paris the same way. But they have crews at night to clean up before morning.
    He should have hired a dog walker.

  3. YUP says:

    Not only is it shitty to step in it..harhar…but I wonder how the grass looks! It needs more upkeep now too!

  4. ri23 says:

    Your headline was funnier than anything Dane Cook has ever said.

  5. curegirl0421 says:

    All I can say is….


    Dane Cook is a douchebag.

  6. Meredith says:

    I can’t stand him. I wish he were forced to clean up after all of Berlin’s dogs .. God, he’s an idiot.

  7. oxa says:

    I heard he does have a poop fetish.

  8. geronimo says:

    Wow, that’s incredibly civic-minded of you, CB, picking up other people’s dog crap. I loathe people who let their dogs do this, just about one of the most unsociable things. Hope Cook gets the death penalty at least and his dog gets a new responsible owner.

  9. Frenchie says:

    Sorry to ear about your poop experience. I think in europe we are use to walk and look a long time ahead where we go ie check the way is clear. I agree the owners should be forced to pick up the poops, I think it’s horribly disgusting when it’s not from Your dog.
    One last tip : always look before you step out of your car + I avoid walking in the grass of anyplace

  10. Celebitchy says:

    I totally overstated the dog poop thing and should rephrase that. I don’t go picking up poop all the time and will only do it when it’s like right near my house. I was making myself out to be some poop-scooping hero and will change that. That’s how I picture my grand poop picking-up, but it’s more like me loudly bitching and picking it up when it’s right near my place and my family is likely to step in it.

  11. Bodhi says:

    😆 CB the poop-scooping hero!!

    I really hate it when people don’t pick up after their dogs. I have two of them & I try really hard to be responsible about them. I mean, yeah there are a few times when I’ve walked them & forgotten a bag, but still! People have gotten really bad about not picking poop at our local dog park. Its really uncool…

  12. Blackalicious says:

    Dane Cook is a jackass; he is UNfunny, worse that not funny- and I have read that he even cribs other people’s material for his so called stand up. And yeah why does he rent?

    I too hate people who don’t scoop s*it. When I am out for a hike or trying to enjoy a public place, I don’t need to step in crap. It is antisocial and assholish not to pick it up. I have finally started just telling people ‘you need to remove that” when I see them walk away. Total strangers but I don’t care. And they look at me like I am the rude person for even asking them to do it as they waltz off. Manners seem to be on the decline EVERYWHERE.

  13. Trillion says:

    I love how they put “comedian” in quotations! I have a friend (a dog owner) who actually carries little plastic baggies with him at all times so when he spies someone not “curbing”, he simply hands them a baggie. Not scooping is bad citizenship!

  14. TIA says:

    You def should pick up after your dog, but also people need to get a life, I mean give me a break.. our economy sucks, soldiers are getting killed in Iraq, people are losing their homes, teenagers are getting pregnant and this fool wants to bitch about dog crap.. UNREAL.

  15. Mark says:

    this is too funny. i work at a hotel where dane cook stayed at. he had the same dog in question with him in his room for the duration of his stay, for about two months.

    the dog trashed the room. it pooped everywhere and ate all the furniture. we spent thousands of dollars repairing the damage and replacing the carpet. and we no longer allow guests to have pets in the hotel, thanks to him.

    maybe there really is justice in this world.

  16. DaneHater says:

    Look at me, I’m famous u know.
    I don’t have to p/up after my dog.
    Did I mention that I was famous?
    If I have to I’ll pay someone to clean up my dogs s**t.
    By the way, did I mention I was famous?
    A legend in his OWN f**king mind!
    Seriously, what is he famous for anyway?

  17. hello says:

    I can’t believe him! I feel so bad if I don’t do a great job. One time my dog had the runs, and I left a smear on the grass and felt bad. People like him undo any small courtesies that people with manners do!

  18. terri says:

    Dane Cook is dog crap

  19. scarlet007 says:

    This trial was such a waste of the tax payers money. I am a big fan of Dane Cook. I was shocked to hear that such a huge star is actually renting. Maybe the complex he lives in is actually a dump and the little Beast thought he was actually relieving himself in the toilet? In any case, Dane, your fans still love you. Get a place of your own, you deserve it. Then just go back to your ex-landlords parties and have Beast shit on the coats!!!!

  20. I can not stand people who don’t pick up after their dog(s). We have a very similar problem here… check out:
    and see what we did about it … usually it takes a little public humiliation to get some action taken.

  21. Jeff says:

    I can’t believe Dane rents an apartment and is this irresponsible! Dane WAS funny up until the Vicious Circle album. That’s when he was a comedian. But he went to movies, which is admirable, but entirely forgot his routes.

    And to be forced to trial over dog poop is rather embarassing.

  22. sassyass says:

    WOW!! Dog Poop…If Dane Cook is living at an apartment who cares. The issue is the poop! Dane has got some money so the apartment is probably really expensive, so the landlord with all the money he is getting from all his tenants can’t afford a cleaning crew? Sounds like the manager is sitting back collecting and not wanting to hire a grounds keeper!

  23. Aaron Durain says:

    I think Dane is funny, personally. But as for the doggie do??? I think it is beyond pretentious that so many of you pick up dog poop — Last time I checked, dogs poop. That’s what they do. Outside. Frequently. Get over it. Do you think ANYONE until the last say 50 years went around picking up excrement???? Ewww. Leave it alone. Ick. IT BELONGS ON THE GROUND!!!!
    You know what I hate more than dog poo??? People using up my oxygen. Stupid people need to just take a hike to the nearest noninhabited planet.

  24. Alice says:

    Thanks !! very helpful post!

  25. All dog owners are responsible for the actions of their dogs this includes the biting end and the pooping end. I own a dog care (Home Boarding) business and engage a specialist “poop” man to dispose of any waste in my garden. We also carry poop bags when out on walks. If we want our animals and ourselves to be accepted and loved by the community that we live in we have to scoop the poop.