Gwyneth Paltrow “played a role” in Gaylord Jwifty’s relationship

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Us Weekly’s print edition has another minor story on Jaylor/Gaylord Jwifty – the Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift romance. Last week, Us Weekly had the super-posed photos of Swifty and Jake wandering around arm-in-arm around New York, along with an absolutely hysterical article chock-full of quotes from Camp Swifty about Jake being the coffee-swirling love of her life. There was also a minor story about Jake and Swifty’s visit to the Gaylord hotel in Nashville, thus summarizing, however inappropriately and immaturely, my take on their relationship. Anyway, this week’s Us Weekly story is, as I said, minor, but that’s only because Gwyneth Paltrow is such a minor demon these days. According to their sources, Goopy played a part in getting Gaylord Jwifty together:

To welcome Jake Gyllenhaal and gal pal Taylor Swift to London during their secretive pre-Thanksgiving trip, Gwyneth Paltrow hosted a private party for the pair on November 13, an insider tells Hot Stuff.

“Jake and Taylor were driven from the Dorchester to Gwyneth’s and Chris Martin’s house in Primrose Hill for dinner,” says the insider. “They stayed there for a few hours.”

Paltrow and Jake starred together in Proof and she also shared a dressing room with Swift at the CMAs.

“Gwyneth seems to have played a role in their relationship,” adds the source.

[From Us Weekly, print edition]

Gwyneth is at the bottom of it! It’s all part of her dastardly plan. Global domination, one beard at a time. But of course Gwyneth is friends with both Jake and Taylor. OF COURSE. She’s friends with everybody. Everybody WORTH being friends with. And of course she threw them a little “party” too. I bet she even cooked! And decorated! And then washed the dishes with her perfect vagina.

By the way, Goopy’s new Goop newsletter is all about how she’s “freezing her ass off” – and she recommends some cold-weather items for us. $1000 for Burberry boots? Of course! Oh, and Goopy has items in dollars and British pounds, of course. I’m surprised she didn’t throw a few items in dinar-only, just to be smug.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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28 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow “played a role” in Gaylord Jwifty’s relationship”

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  1. bite me says:

    whoa that a scary picture of GOOP…this business arrangement is so screpyyyyy

    OT: kaiser doll can we get a thread of chealse handler glamour magazine interview, pretty please 😀

  2. Megan says:

    my 7 yo is sharpening her shank for all you taylor haterz out there ;P

  3. bellaluna says:

    I think “Gaylord Swillenhaal” has a better ring to it, Kaiser. Just rolls off the tongue a little easier. 😉

    Hope you’re feeling better!

    I wonder if the Goopster knows how unflattering these pictures are. The hair, the make-up, the outfit; it’s a perfect storm of yuck!

  4. brin says:

    Bet Lady Goop is going to take credit for Wills & Kate’s hook-up, too.

  5. Po says:

    Megan, I have a young one at home too and when someone says something about Taylor Swift the look on her face is priceless. Its not quick shank, but close enough.

  6. Delta Juliet says:

    Wow….she’s really looking like a stepford-wife, isn’t she? *shiver*

  7. Kaiser says:

    These photos are from earlier this year! Goopy’s sad Bump-It attempt.

  8. Lisa S. says:

    Not a good picture. Of course. At least she has friends right? 😉

  9. Stronzilla says:

    Well, if she did I wouldn’t be bragging about it.

  10. Sandy says:

    I’m sure she thinks we are all
    “just jealous”
    Blech… someone really needs to slap her mother.

  11. Rita says:

    What? Goopy “shared a dressing room with Swift at the CMAs.”

    How “prolateriate” of Miss Goopy. Didn’t Goopy rent a $50k per month apartment and completely remodeled it while shooting Country Strong? Now, at the CMAs she’s sharing a bathroom!! Those country folk just don’t know how to treat American Royalty.

    Knock, knock “I need to get in there”.

  12. Deens says:

    I was actually thinking the photo is a Madam Tussaud’s wax figure…no?

  13. guesty says:

    does she f*ck him for her too? *snark* gwynnie…such a condescending know-it-all. *eye.roll.*

  14. anti says:

    she likes coffee too?

  15. LittleDeadGirl says:

    Man, my vagina doesn’t even vacuum much less wash the dishes … what a lazy bitch …

  16. Nicky says:

    Their PR teams are still shilling this Brooklyn walkathon by leaking more photos and now a video of it. Give it up already! Between Jake’s awkwardness, Maggie’s fake laughter and Taylor pretty much overacting in each shot, it couldn’t be more staged if they tried. It’s turning into a hilarious mess with so much second hand embarrassment. I can’t wait for the carefully planned ‘split’ which will no doubt happen over coffee.

  17. original kate says:

    i don’t know how goop finds the time to fix up her friends! i thought she was too busy weaving baby blankets out of dewdrops, capturing rainbows in jars and setting the unicorns free. oh and pumping out GOOP, the lifetyle manual that teaches ignorant savages how to live a more noble life while swaddled in burberry.

  18. aenflex says:

    Some of those boots were much more reasonable than 1000 bucks. And really other, less expensive lines will make copies that the rest of us can afford. I love the Stella McCartney thigh-boots!!!

  19. Liana says:

    And then washed the dishes with her perfect vagina.
    ***************

    You owe me another keyboard.

  20. PrettyLights says:

    I read Goop’s newsletter and thought it was so rediculous – her Christmas gift ideas were things like a $200 pillow with an initial on it or $500 pictures of your kids handprints. Seriously? Is this newsletter only for the elite? If she’s trying to reach the ‘average person’ she’s certainly not doing it.

  21. janie says:

    of all of the things i cant stand about GP, the goop newsletter seems least offensive. why would she blog about 30 dollar shoes or reasonable gifts? she has access to the best and that is what she should write about.at least it is authentic.
    what is insufferable is the former macrobiotic purist wheatgrass guzzler who now is a “primarily self taught” gourmet chef. (and who then blogs about spending 3 days in one of the kitchens of the best restaurants in the UK.

  22. Frankly says:

    I prefer Swiffenhaal. Then I can pretend that they are cleaning my hardwood.

  23. Shoe_Lover says:

    Another reason to hate Goop

  24. Crash2GO2 says:

    $1000.00 boots? She’s going to lose her peasant following if she keeps this up.

  25. ItaloSuave says:

    I am always a big fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. Nice picture, but I don’t think this article does her justice. Neither does Hollywood, for that matter. She’s great.

  26. Henriette says:

    Fire that stylist, Gwynnie. Yeah, I get the fake eyelashes/ helmet hair 60s reference, but it doesn’t look good. At all.

  27. dinar says:

    Hi all, I am hoping someone can give me some serious advice. I have overstayed my visit to Tunisia for 10 months now and want to know if anyone has been in this position and the easiest way round it, I have been told its simple just get the overstay stamps in the passport, then I hear completely different stories, I am a UK national and if I was to return back to the UK – pay the overstay amount of 40 dinar a month – but then try to get back into Tunisia would I be allowed? Is this overstay taken as seriously as in other countries? Do I have to leave the UK to break this overstay or can I enter into Morocco or Turkey for example and this will be ok? Sorry for all the questions but I am due to get married in Tunisia and I’m worried about this overstay.

  28. Talisa Soto says:

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