Maxim plays the too little too late game with Sarah Jessica Parker

In a superbly lame-ass attempt to make amends, Maxim has declared Sarah Jessica Parker this year’s “unexpected crush.” Because that totally makes up for calling her the “unsexiest woman alive.” That’s like if the woman that called me fat today called me up in six months and said, “But you have nice hair.” And hung up. Damage totally erased!

Sarah Jessica Parker has been hailed this year’s unexpected crush by a men’s magazine bidding to make up with the actress after calling her the unsexiest woman alive.

The 43-year-old Sex and the City star was outraged last year when men’s publication Maxim bestowed her with the unsexy honor, insisting the insult was “brutal.”

And Parker’s outspoken opposition to the title seems to have worked.

The actress will receive her award in the August issue of the magazine.

[From NBC affiliate KGET]

I really hope she tells them to suck her mole. And then mails it to them. Seriously, having a list of the least sexy women was so unnecessary and stupid in the first place. And what a crap-ass way to atone for it.

In other SJP news, she’s denying that she had a molectomy. Yes I made that up. And I think it works just fine, thank you. Her rep told IMDB that “Nothing has been removed.” I assumed that she’d cop to it, but say it was pre-cancerous or something. There are a million ways to make a molectomy look like it was done out of medical necessity.

Note by Celebitchy: Sarah’s rep may have denied that she had the mole removed, but US Weekly and the AP quote a source that confirms it.

Here’s Sarah Jessica and husband Matthew Broderick shopping for a fridge on July 1st, according to Splash.. Images thanks to Splash.

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32 Responses to “Maxim plays the too little too late game with Sarah Jessica Parker”

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  1. Cassie says:

    If I was SJP I’d tell Maxim where they can stick their ‘award.’

    But also: say whaaaat? I was totally with you on that one, Jaybird, I don’t get why she’d deny getting it removed when it blatantly is NOT ON HER FACE anymore. I would’ve thought she’d play the health issue card and be done with it.

  2. Shane says:

    Who is Maxim to define the standards of what is sexy / attractive? I’d like to see the magazine editors & writers in a photo line-up and rate them 1 – 10 for their looks.

  3. geronimo says:

    Hope she DOES tell them to shove it. Ignorant assholes. That was just cruel.

    Weird on the mole front. “She’s had no surgical procedure” according to her rep (from IMDb). Unless she disolved it with some, I don’t know, expensive celebrity mole-dissolving solution? Like a wart?

    Not that she owes anyone an explanation or anything but why issue a statement about it at all when, plainly, it’s gone and something has to account for it being gone. Weird.

  4. suede says:

    All the award does is bring even more attention to her horse like face.

    She is not an attractive woman, slender, nice eyes, extensive clothing collection but nope she’s not a pretty one by any standards.

    The mole removal is an improvement though.

  5. Kevin says:

    I don’t know that Sarah is the least sexy star around, but if Maxim is gonna make a list like that, someone has to be the loser. Sorry Sarah, but in this instance it was you. Maxim should have stuck to their guns, not be wimpy and try to suck up. No winners in this whole situation.
    As far as her wart, I think she had it removed, bronzed, and now is using it as a door stop or paper weight in her New York apartment. I wonder if they cut the long hairs off it before they bronzed it or just bronzed over it like some kinda weird antenna.

  6. Katie says:

    @ Kevin – so horrible, but funny :P

  7. geronimo says:

    Trying not to laugh at that but too funny, esp. the antennae bit. Now got a very clear image of it in my mind. Bad Kevin. :lol:

  8. Andrea says:

    Not saying she did it, but there are ways to remove a mole without having surgery or even seeing a doctor. You can order an herbal mix on the internet and put it on the mole covered by a bandaid and the mole will fall off within a certain amount of time. The time of course depending on the size of the mole. Flax seed oil has also been known to eventually get rid of some moles. It’s a more gradual process though that you can see happening with the flaxseed oil.

  9. Dingles says:

    I still can’t believe Maxim would publish such a mean-spirited, unwarranted “contest,” although I can’t say I’m really surprised that the men who work there have warped ideas of how to treat women.
    She should tell them to kiss her ass; “unexpected crush” is still a backhanded compliment at best.

  10. Kaiser/ Hippacrat says:

    Yeah, I’m not SJP’s biggest fan, but any list of the unsexiest women that doesn’t start with Paris Hilton is just for the birds.

    Molectomy is right on. :)

  11. Zoe says:

    @ Kevin: didn’t wanna laugh, but that was awesome.

  12. geronimo says:

    Is molectomy not the medical term for having a mole removed?? It’s commonly used. Google it.

  13. twaddle says:

    They shouldn’t've apologized. She’s an eyesore, and her face looks like a foot.

  14. NHchicky says:

    I think if she was walking around with a herb scented band aid on her face for any amount of time we’d have heard about it. She had it removed. Why the denials? It’s ok to better yourself! Especially when you look like a foot.

  15. Mikw says:

    Hey Matthew Broderick! Mr. Ed called, he wants his wife back.

  16. kate says:

    i love sjp: she is elegant, stylish and a good actress. i love that she has not had cosmetic surgery – her face is her own. and unlike many other celebs she has not had DUI’s, gone to rehab, flashed her crotch, or made anti-semitic/racist remarks. plus she married ferris bueller! so maxim can suck it hard.

  17. Linda says:

    She’s young, she’s vibrant, she’s beautiful, she’s rich. Aren’t any of those thing sexy? Yes they are and how!

    We love her and Maxim’s prank was just that, an ignorant prank.

  18. ri23 says:

    She’s not in her 20s and hasn’t had any work done, so she’s definitely not Maxim’s fave. Whoopdidoo. Look at the list. Pretty girls, but all the same type. SJP looks just fine.
    @Dingles: “I still can’t believe Maxim would publish such a mean-spirited, unwarranted contest.” Um…they do it every year. Why is this year a surprise?

  19. Jaundice Machine says:

    Hey twaddle – I saw that episode of Family Guy too! If you’re going to be nasty, you might as well be original.

  20. northwesterly says:

    Tip: stay away from men who have stacks of Maxim magazine in their bathrooms.

  21. Whitey Fisk says:

    northwesterly- Amen. But even a single copy should be a red flag.

    SJP is fabulous and fashionable and rich, rich, rich- BUT I don’t think there’s an ounce of sex appeal there. Straight women and gay men love her, but I’ve never known a straight man or gay woman who’ve found her at all appealing.

  22. hello says:

    @ Jaundice Machine

    I thought that too!

  23. vdantev says:

    Why the long face, Sarah ?

  24. lola lola says:

    Yeah, Maxim would only like her if she had fake boobs, fake lips, bleached hair and stood around pulling on the straps of her bikini. They have no use for a woman with a brain. But, why deny the molectomy? If she wanted it removed & removed it, why deny?

  25. Diva says:

    She most certainly HAS had work done. A few years ago she had a very, very well done slight rhinoplasty. Not anything over the top, but certainly a polished nose look.

    I had to have a mole removed (I didn’t want to, it was on my chin, too) because my doctor said it looked suspicious, and all they did was a poke with a numbing agent, and a tiny slice with a razor blade thing… not at all a “surgical procedure” and my precious mole was gone forever! :(

    I still miss it.

  26. Sue says:

    Please it’s Maxim….who cares.Get me a pair of fake tits and suck my brains out then I would be sexxxxxy too!!!!

  27. Nan says:

    A lot of people with pretty eyes are unaware that they have a large or strainge jaw. When they look in the mirror they only see their eyes, not the bad bone structure. I guess it is a defense mechanism.

  28. CB Rawks says:

    “She should tell them to kiss her ass; “unexpected crush” is still a backhanded compliment at best.”

    Yes exactly, Dingles! It’s a slam in itself. What assholes they are.

  29. Other Karen says:

    Can’t moles be removed just by slicing them off? Or do you have to freeze them with liquid nitrogen and they just fall off? It’s a pretty easy procedure, anyhow. My friend got a massive one on his face taken care of.

  30. Other Karen says:

    Why does Maxim want to make up with her anyway? If they find her unsexy, then it’s not like they’ll ever want to do a photoshoot with her. And I don’t think that demographic wants to read interviews with her.

  31. Christina X says:

    I think a lot of nim-witted shallow men need to remember what actresses are here for.

    I’ve never watched Sex and the City, nor do I want to, however, at least she’s done something other than take her clothes off for a few photoshoots.

    I think Maxim should go fuck itself, not only for dishing it out and being unable to take it, but for crushing the dreams of not-so-pretty girls who may want to act someday, because god forbid, she’s not beautiful enough.

    This world’s morals have gone down the shitter.

  32. Christina X says:

    Maxim makes me sick.