John Mayer is quietly boning 21-year-old Shenae Grimes, allegedly (update)

NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 12: Shenae Grimes attends the Rebecca Taylor Spring 2011 fashion show during Mercedes-Benz Fashion Week at The Studio at Lincoln Center on September 12, 2010 in New York City. (Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for IMG)

Star Magazine reports that John Mayer hasn’t been content to feed his white supremacist dong a steady stream of random groupies. No, John’s KKK dong demands young starlets. Like, inappropriately young. Like Taylor Swift. And now 90210’s Shenae Grimes, that chick who is known for her radical weight loss as soon as she got a touch of fame. She’s 21 years old, and it seems like the girl has self-esteem issues. Both of which is cat-nip for a predator like Mayer.

The secret’s out! 90210 babe Shenae Grimes, 21, has been raving about her steamy connection with John Mayer, 33, to pals on the Santa Monica, CA set of her upcoming drama, Sugar.

“Shanae is telling friend that she’s having a secret fling with John,” an insider reveals. “They’ve hooked up a few times and talk and text, but John wants to keep it low profile for once.”

Lovestruck Shenae has actually been crushing on John for years – she was spotted swooning over him at a concert he gave in Hollywood in August 2009. Now she’s pushing him to go public with their romance, but she will likely end up with a broken heart instead.

“She just doesn’t seem to get that he’s not the kind of guy to fall for too deeply,” an insider says of John, who has loved and left the likes of Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston. “He’s a total player, and that isn’t going to change anytime soon.”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Ugh. There’s a reason why certain men in their 30s go for these young little things – because those dudes are totally freaks with massive issues, and the younger girls are less likely to call them on their bullsh-t. Which brings me to a story. A few weeks ago, a reader (who will be referred to as “J”) sent in a hilarious email about how her friend hooked up with John Mayer a while ago, and… yes, we have no idea if this is real or anywhere near the truth, but it’s just too good. Just read:

I’m aware that you can’t actually use this gossip as it’s second hand, but it’s so hysterical that I had to share. I’ve always been on the side of “give John Mayer a break, I think he’s just being funny.” That being said:

A girlfriend of ours had been living in Spain and just came back for the holidays so we had a get together. She started tell us the story about the time she hooked up with John Mayer right before she moved. She had gone to his concert and ended up hanging out with him and his band afterwards. She then went back to his hotel room to hook up.

He insisted on having his own music play while they made out. He talked repeatedly about his penis like it was a third person in the room, and kept asking her “do you like him? What do you think of him? Tell him you like him”. He then stopped having sex to put on another playlist – of his own music – because the music stopped.

She’s admittedly slept with a few musicians, athletes etc but she said he was the most narcissistic person that she’s ever been with.

I give up. He is a super douche. But her story and her impression of his O face was hysterical.

[Submitted from Reader J]

I mean… that’s what he’s like. It feels like the truth. So… my new thing is picturing Mayer’s psychotic O-face on top of Jennifer Aniston as his own music plays. That image will have you giggling for days.

UPDATE: …And Shenae is denying this. That’s interesting – I was expecting a Mayer denial. Maybe Shenae is smarter than I think? Shenae tweeted: “According to Star magazine John Mayer and I are in secret sexy cahoots. How wonderful for me…if wonderful meant embarrassing.” Oh, for goodness sake. She probably tipped Star off just so she could deny it.

John Mayer performs in concert on the closing night of his 2010 Battle Studies tour at the Cruzan Amphitheater in West Palm Beach, Florida on September 11, 2010. UPI/Michael Bush Photo via Newscom

John Mayer performs in concert on the closing night of his 2010 Battle Studies tour at the Cruzan Amphitheater in West Palm Beach, Florida on September 11, 2010. UPI/Michael Bush Photo via Newscom

John Mayer performs in concert on the closing night of his 2010 Battle Studies tour at the Cruzan Amphitheater in West Palm Beach, Florida on September 11, 2010. UPI/Michael Bush Photo via Newscom

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47 Responses to “John Mayer is quietly boning 21-year-old Shenae Grimes, allegedly (update)”

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  1. Rita says:

    At least he’s boning her quietly.

  2. Marjalane says:

    This story just climaxed in a clorox moment for me. when will I stop shuddering?

  3. bizzy says:

    see, i consider john mayer to be the most damning piece of public information about jennifer aniston. a grown woman who sleeps with this fuckwad is not ‘having it all’. unlss your definition of ‘it all’ includes pubic lice.

  4. the original bellaluna says:


  5. brin says:

    Watch out Joe Francis, John Mayer is catching up to you for the Biggest Douche award.

  6. Kaiser says:

    Marjalane – Aw, I put the “dick as a third person” story up for laughs!

    But yes, he’s disgusting.

  7. Karen says:

    @Rita – He’s boning her quietly while giving her his O face *and* wearing his own concert merchandise t-shirt (as he’s doing in the photos above). Blech…I need a shower.

  8. dragonfly says:

    C’mon now, nobody looks good in singing pics! *snortgiggle*

  9. mslewis says:

    Kaiser, Shanae Grimes denied this story just after it was published on Wednesday. I don’t know where I saw it but she did deny it. I believe it wsa on twitter.

  10. whitedaisy says:

    @ bizzy. That.
    And then she went back for seconds after he publicly humiliated her with unflattering details about the relationship.

  11. Kaboom says:

    One might argue that most 33 year old males are at the maturity level of 21 year old girls.

  12. Eve says:

    Boning her quietly??? Not for long, trust me. He’ll talk about this at some point — with unnecessarily graphic details.

    @ Kaiser:

    So… my new thing is picturing Mayer’s psychotic O-face on top of Jennifer Aniston as his own music plays. That image will have you giggling for days.

    That actually gives me dry heaves.

    @ Whitedaisy:

    after he publicly humiliated her with unflattering details about the relationship.

    Not only that, but he did that in front of the paparazzi that had been following him, like an impromptu “press” conference — while he repeatedly stated he was the one who did the dumping.

  13. LT says:

    “How wonderful for me…if wonderful meant embarrassing.” – love it! I don’t even care if she set it up just to deny it, it was worth it for that great line!

  14. abel says:

    lmao @ the pictures of him “O”ing. story seems quite appropriate. Shenae can do better.

  15. Jen says:

    I picture him looking in the mirror talkign to himself while he’s doing someone saying,”You like it like that don’t you? Oh yeeeaah” He’s like Quagmire.

  16. Str8Shooter says:

    He is such a fucking DOUCHE! How women (or men) find that repulsive little maggot attractive is beyond me. Icing on the cake that his bloated egotistical self needs to listen to his ‘mom-rock’ music while he bones.


  17. Eve says:

    @ Jen:

    Giggity giggity, all riiiiight!

  18. Shelley says:

    @Marjalane. Extreme LOL! Thank God for Clorox.

  19. Stronzilla says:

    Excuse me, does John Mayer ‘quietly bone’ anyone? Really? And another thing, my guess is while his music was playing Jen’s movies were playing on an extended play DVD and their O faces were mirror images.

  20. Iggles says:

    Eww. Shocking that the email made me dislike him even more! I didn’t think that was possible.

    The dude has MAJOR issues! Narcissists are insecure losers!

  21. Johnny Depp's Girl says:


    @Kaiser.. thank you for the extra story, that sounds SOOOO like how I imagine him.

    Shenae.. Remember that song “Stupid Girl”???

  22. Roma says:

    Okay, I was the one who emailed in my girlfriend’s story because it was too hysterical not to share!

    I think it was the penis in the third person that put it over the top for me.

  23. JuliaGuglia says:

    That story followed by the ‘O’ face pics after – too funny!!!!

  24. Kevin says:

    Oscar Mayer Wiener is on his way to bone Macaulay’s ex,,,book it. Humming to himself, “My body is a wonderland….”

  25. Squirtle says:

    Ugh. Gross. Please groupie chicks of the music world, stop banging this guy!!!

    Slightly more faith in humanity lost. *sigh*

  26. Squirtle says:

    Hahaaaha KKK Dong!

  27. mln76 says:

    @Roma thanks for the story it’s just about what I would imagine him to be like.
    @Stonzilla that’s hilarious.

  28. JRenee says:

    I don’t understand the attraction to such a known skirt chaser. Blech!

  29. Bodhi says:

    Funnily enough I met a chick who hooked up with him YEARS ago & she said almost the same thing. Aaanndd she was, like, 16 when she slept with him…

  30. chasingadalia says:

    Haha. That was a pretty funny statement, Shenae.

    … and she was always pretty thin on Degrassi.

  31. LolaBella says:

    I was prepared to believe this story until I read Shenae’s denial “How wonderful for me…if wonderful meant embarrassing.”

    That Is Made Of Win.

    After what he did to Jennifer Aniston and Jessica Simpson after their splits, I don’t think another famous woman would sleep with him.

  32. Jaz says:

    Mayer is a pathetic Db. Any women with him has low self esteem issues.

  33. dit says:

    Don’t get why girls are into John Mayer. He’s repulsive.

  34. Cyui says:

    You people sound crazy.

  35. Cyui says:

    She planted to deny. Is she something special. I never knew who she was. Its good people don’t want to be linked to him. They can use someone elsa for the media whoring.

  36. MaiGirl says:

    Fabulous “extra” story, and I totally believe it. However, I’m amazed that she went through with the boning. The minute foolio started asking for third-person dick affirmation, all boning possibilities would have evaporated for me!

  37. LolaBella says:

    @MaiGirl: LMAO at “third-person dick affirmation”.

  38. Hardy says:

    Is this an audition for the money shot?
    Is a new career in the works?

  39. Hakura says:

    After seeing Shenae’s denial… I think she probably did hook up with John, and is just embarrassed and regretful. I may not have believed it, but if she *was* a fan, it’s not hard to see that happening.

    I completely believe that story about his insane narcissism. If I can see anyone having a conversation with his own penis…it’s him. And I’m sure he DOES target younger girls because not only are they normally easier to manipulate in general, but in a lot of cases, aren’t as likely to know if he sucks in bed. Thus also meaning they won’t be making complaints, and may not make many demands regarding their own sexual satisfaction. (I realize those aspects do not apply to ALL young women, of course.)

    He needs to feel in control, all the time. It’s about time he got a taste of his own medicine. He’s SUCH a tool, & it’s a shame because I really liked his music, quite a bit, at first.

    But after I found out what a dick he is, his music went the way of Chris Brown’s, into the trash folder of my computer.

  40. mrsodie2 says:

    Come on, you don’t get why girls drop their panties for a talented, successful, good-looking young rock star? Women still throw it at Keith Richards and I’m pretty sure he’s dead. What happened to loving the bad boy?

  41. wonderful says:

    Ugh, his music would be the worst music to have sex to, EVER.

  42. Hakura says:

    @mrsodie2 (#40)- “Women still throw it at Keith Richards and I’m pretty sure he’s dead.

    LOL!! I guess the ‘bad boys’ just aren’t my type. John Mayer takes it way too far, and is more in love with himself than he’ll ever be with anyone else. Even if I DID find him attractive at all, he’s a lost cause unless I want my sexual proclivities broadcast via People magazine. I want my reputation to be more than a John Mayer conquest.

    But then, my Bullshit-tolerance meter tops out pretty low, too. So no bad boys for me.

  43. dweeb says:

    he is just being good to your daughters

  44. wonderful says:

    dweeb: Hahahaha YES, that song was……umm….

  45. JenJen says:

    I love that this dog is down to doing D-listers. Of course this famewhore is keeping it on the down-low. I hope he goes away in 2011,maybe to Europe,like all the other has-beens.

  46. Isa says:

    Hakura- I co-sign with your first comment. After the question was raised abotu him going after younger girls all of those thoughts popped into my head. I think he’s probably a selfish lover and can get away with more with a younger girl. Or women with the mentality of a young girl.
    He can also play mind games.
    I think he seeks a certain type of woman out to suit his needs.
    He is gross.
    And are you sure that’s not a picture of Vanessa Carlton? Jk.

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