Jessica Simpson is a goth hobo homewrecker, apparently


Don’t ask me what Jessica Simpson is doing in these photos. I have no idea. I don’t know why she’s dressed like a goth hobo, and I have no idea what that thing is on her head, and I have no idea what she’s doing in Aspen. She’s apparently there with Eric Johnson. Poor dude. That’s what I think when I see him, although I actually feel sorry for both of them. I feel sorry for Jessica because she thinks she’s won some kind of prize with this guy, and I feel sorry for Eric because it must be embarrassing to date her. I’m not trying to be horrible, I’m really not. Jessica may be very sweet, and a very nice (and stupid) person. But she’s embarrassing.

Anyway, Star Magazine’s cover story this week is about how Jessica is a “homewrecker”. The tabloids have been trying to make this “Jessica home wrecked Eric’s marriage” story happen for a while, and while I will accuse Jessica of all kinds of things, I don’t really think this accusation is fair. Eric was separated from his wife when he and Jessica began dating, and he and estranged wife had some kind of quickie divorce when he and Jessica became more serious. Is it poorly timed? Yes. Is it sketchy? Sure. But Jessica thought she was starting something with a free agent, and I think she was. BUT – Star has “proof” that there’s more to the story:

Eric and Jessica first met in 2009 – not only was he still married at the time, but Star has learned exclusively that Eric’s wife was by his side on that fateful night when he first locked eyes with the bodacious blonde! That didn’t stop Jessica from pursuing a relationship behind the scenes with Eric shortly after he and his wife, Keri Johnson, agreed to “take a break” to try to fix a rough patch in their four-and-a-half year marriage, a friend tells Star.

“Keri told me, ‘I always hoped Eric and I could iron out our problems and make it work for good. Then I started hearing rumors that he and Jessica were spending time together!’ It was like a cold, hard slap in the face – and it’s really difficult for anyone close to Keri to see Jessica as anything but a man-stealer!”

[From Star Magazine, print edition]

Those are the basics, although Star Mag fills another two pages with the same stuff, rehashed in different ways. Jessica and Eric first met when he and his wife were fine, then Eric and Keri separated, and Eric and Jessica began seeing each other. Oh, and they make a big deal about how Jessica claimed in a recent interview that she had never met Keri, which Keri’s “friends” are quick to jump on as LIE that proves everything, I guess. Maybe Keri really did think she and Eric were going to get back together, BUT they really were separated at the time. Whatever. Actually, I find the most interesting piece of news in the story is that Keri told friends that Eric was “plain out of money” towards the end of their marriage. Now THAT I’ll believe. Lucky for him, he found a rich, ditzy blonde full of raging need.




Photos courtesy of Fame.

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71 Responses to “Jessica Simpson is a goth hobo homewrecker, apparently”

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  1. Trillion says:

    Ack. She has no sense of style whatsoever.

  2. the original bellaluna says:

    WTF is on her arm? And why is it hanging down to her ugly-ass shoes? It looks like she’s draped a dead animal over her arm! Combined with the leopard-print purse, it’s an horror!

  3. luciana says:

    OMG!!! I think she is channeling MK Olsen. Jess, it doesn’t work for MK and it doesn’t work for you either. This girl is in desperate need of a shrink. She’s a trainwreck maybe not a la Lohan stile but I can’t help feeling sorry for her.

  4. Dana says:

    I’m telling you, she’s pregnant. Early stage, but pregnant.

  5. luciana says:

    *style. sorry!

  6. Hautie says:

    I love how men are never at fault for the marriage ending. There must always be a home wrecking female to blame.

    And I am sure that these alleged inside sources/ex-wife got paid for this BS exclusive story.

    Sadly, if the ex is talking about it now… it just makes her looks creepy and desperate. Especially after she trashed talk him for being broke…

  7. photo jojo says:

    No woman can ‘steal’ a man who is happy and in love with this spouse or ‘homewreck’ a home in which the marriage is a strong, stable force.

  8. Tess says:

    Check her feet.
    I smell Hobbit.

  9. LolaBella says:

    The Ross Geller ‘We Were On A Break’ defense! LMAO.

    I think Jessica wants to settle down and have babies and she wanted to do it with someone whose star power would not eclipse hers.

    She can have a few babies,Eric can take up his place at Wharton, graduate and become an executive in her billion dollar empire.

  10. Lola says:

    Thank you jojo FINALLY someone aside from myself has said it!!!

  11. brin says:

    Maybe she just doesn’t know which style she likes so she wears them all at once….goth, boho, animal print, with a side of faux fur. Eric can represent the grunge look.

  12. Nanz says:

    Is she covering a baby bump in that pic??

  13. Ashley says:

    She looks preggo

  14. Bam Bam says:

    Why is her face so doughy? putting that thing on her head is no substitute for a good hair brush!

  15. guesty says:

    you know that headband is gonna leave an indentation with all of that bloat she’s got goin’ on.

    the most irksome aspect of this girl is her complete lack of self-respect.

  16. mln76 says:

    She isn’t pregnant people it’s drinking bloat.
    As for the alleged man stealing not buying it. The guy was a floater trying to decide between Grad School or going back to his wife when he met Jessica and saw dollar signs. In this case she’s just a beautiful mark.

  17. Pearl says:

    She looks pregnant to me too…trying to disguise it with the animal tarp.

  18. flutters says:

    I think the Star story is mostly BS. I totally believe Jessica didn’t meet Eric until spring 2010 which was after Eric’s ex had already filed. Us Weekly had what I think is a reliable account of their boozy hookup the night they met in May.

    Not that a quickie engagement so soon after a divorce is finalized is a good idea. There are red flags all over this one.

    I think Eric’s ex is bitter not so much because she wants Eric back but because she resents that he freeloaded off her and now she sees him freeloading off a wealthy woman. She and “friends” have given quotes to In Touch Weekly about Eric being out of $$ too. I think that part is true. I know the Simpson camp likes to throw out that Eric has some money from real estate investments but odds are he’s been losing money off those.

  19. Jmag says:

    Damn cut her a break- she’s making shit loads of money, she eats what she wants, and who cares if her boyfriend is lame? She is obviously getting hers.. She’s living the dream. Thousands if rich dudes support their girlfriends or wives. It’s not that big of a deal.

  20. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    I dont think she stole him from anybody, she cant keep her mouth shut for that long…

    But I do think she looks pregnant.

  21. Bailey says:

    looks like roadkill on her arm.
    She has gained a lot weight, maybe emotionally eating.
    you can’t steal a husband, because he is not property.

  22. mimi says:

    I don’t think she’s pregnant – she’s been seen drinking of late. She better watch it..if she looks like this at 30…40 is gonna be rough.

  23. TeeTee says:

    Poor Keri, she should have NOT filed and made Jessica BUY him from her..

    at any cost, these lil spoiled chicks will pay for them cause they want what they want-when they want it.

    Julia Roberts paid for Danny, I’d surely hold out and make the uber rich chick PAY me for my heartache and suffering..winkwink.

    Keri threaten a tell all and make Jess pay, she has the loot!!!

    I know Jess wants it all to be perfect before her wedding–put pen to paper girl!!

    SOME women are so damn desperate, NO ONE is off limits!

  24. Marjalane says:

    There’s some serious booze bloat going on there girlfriend! Yikes. I think someone needs to simmer down and step away from the bar!

  25. devilgirl says:

    She is fug, and since this is Celebitchy, I do not feel bad for saying that.

  26. Jo says:

    looks like she can’t decide whether to go to Woodstock or a KISS concert. Yikes.

    Oh and that’s a Krispy Kreme/booze bloat combo going on there.

  27. Leticia says:

    She now looks like the average American thirty something year old woman. Which is a shame because just a few years back she was drop dead gorgeous.

  28. Sumodo1 says:

    Pregnant. Has to keep up with Ashley, right?

  29. REALIST says:

    Is it Halloween again already?

  30. Guest says:

    Did Eric have any kids with his wife..just curious because I have never heard them mentioned ever

  31. mrsodie2 says:

    Her face is so puffy. That’s got to be booze or bulimia. Or both (love the aliteration).

  32. Jaz says:

    I also believe she is pregnant. My friend was pregnant and her face got puffy just like that.
    Bet an announcement will be coming soon. Seems that’s the only way a Simpson can get a man to marry her. I get the feeling she tried that on Mayer and it didn’t work.

  33. sapphire says:

    Mischa Barton just called- she wants her look back.

  34. lrm says:

    i think she is an alcoholic, or on her way there….

  35. archiepelago says:

    This is kind of a non story. A lot of the tabloid stories are like this recently. Very Beverly Hills 90210 – because as we all know, the new 90210 deals with adult themed stuff and not the crap you argued about when you were 12 – a la old school BH90210. I blame the Real Housewives for dragging us back to the bleachers!

  36. The Truth Fairy says:

    Made a billion off of a fashion line, and still can’t dress herself worth a shiz!

    This story seems to come out of left field, considering that she has been with this joker for awhile. My guess is they wanted to do an exclusive on the engagement, but Poppa Joe asked for too much $$ so they went a different way.

  37. OtherChris says:

    Honestly, I don’t feel bad for him for being with her. She’s a hot mess, but she’s also apparently good in bed and has a gorgeous (although sometimes chunky) body. He’s probably quite happy.

  38. cc says:

    totally a prego move with that fur thing over her belly…i just got finished being prego (baby girl!) and a former prego can always spot another prego 😉

  39. southerncheerleader says:

    What is that big furry monster thingy?

    WHY IS SHE SO BIG — is that preggo?


  40. southerncheerleader says:

    What has happened to Jess?

  41. judyjudy says:

    Yep, definitely pregnant face.

  42. Jackson says:

    I simply refuse to believe she is not pregnant.

  43. December says:

    Maybe her current weight right now has been her true weight for all her life? Maybe when she was actually relevant, doing pop music and being married to Nick, her agents and publicity team made sure she kept working out and eating right to have that beautiful toned figure?

    Since she kind of faded from being a real celebrity, her team wasn’t too concerned about her figure anymore and left that up to Jessica. I’ve seen a lot of women that have to workout and be careful of what they eat to stay a certain weight.

    Obviously, Jessica just doesn’t give a damn anymore. Which is sad, because she used to look so stunning.

  44. Lady D says:

    Hard to believe that is Hilary on the mag cover.

  45. archiepelago says:

    PS It may just be the print/ink of the cover but Jessica fiance’s, ex-wife’s eyebrows are very weirdly penciled on looking. Almost cartoonish. It’s the little details that make me laugh.

    PPS Seeing these pseudo stars and their ‘entourage’ is somewhat ridic. You don’t see Meryl Streep or Charlize Theron with an adoring posse, ready to wipe their butts in every photo. Sure Jessica is a great businesswoman but the tabloids continuing to make her relevant as a ‘star’ is somewhat laughable. Maybe it’s the hand on hip pose, while everyone looks adoringly on that made me think this. It just screams diva to me (but I’m not sure she even is one).

  46. nnn says:

    Unless you kidnap someone you can’t stole that person. Unless you are Cupidon, noone can force someone to fall in love or fall out of love with a specific person.

    It’s one of those personal and intimate prerogative of one’s heart. even our mind can disagree with the heart who has its own ryhtm and beat and sings for that special someone in spite of our own mind.

    And marriage is no garantee to everlasting love. It’s a commitment to say that indeed the both love each other right now and intend HOPEFULLY to love each other till death.

    America is bizarre and likes to dehumanzie men lowering them at the level of inanimated objects with a mind of their own according the person they fall in love with.

    When they fall in love and marry someone, it’s BECAUSE of them and their own mind. When they stop loving that person and fall in love with someone else, it’s inspite of their own making.

    It’s like they have a mind of their own for specific persons and are victims of other superhumans bad, bad persons and become mindless and stolen inanimate objects.

    Talk about some weird logic only applied to men and their inner ‘object’ part. How convenient for those poor things.

  47. marie says:

    I’m sorry… goth? What is at all goth about her look in these pics? Black stuff does not equal goth.

  48. Whatever says:

    I’m all for calling out homewreckers, but if they were separated, it seems obvious that Jessica didn’t cause their divorce. They had their own problems that had nothing to do with Jessica. I feel bad when I see her. Such a pretty girl, but she seems to pick loser after loser.

  49. Crash2GO2 says:

    “And marriage is no garantee to everlasting love. It’s a commitment to say that indeed the both love each other right now and intend HOPEFULLY to love each other till death.”

    To stay married and in love is a decision I believe. One that takes a lot of careful thought and commitment. Unfortunately those two things are often in short order these days.

  50. Bobby the K says:

    bohemian glamour.

  51. TO BE OR NOT TO..WHATEVS says:



  52. nnn says:

    # 47

    Getting married is a decision of the MIND which is often triggered by a force of the HEART called love, wich we can’t control unlike the mind.

    When there is a mismatch between the heart and the mind because that force doesn’t exist anymore then you have two options ; stay in a loveless/or convenient marriage or leave.

    Both are everyone prerogatices.

    What i don’t like personally, is people going for the easy way (they are many like that), staying for convenient reasons hoping the heart will beat again for someone someday, letting the other one living with that Damoclès sword over the head or letting bitterness and frustration growing and creeping steadily within the marriage rotting it slowly but surely…then s/he leaves you at 55+ years of age, blaming you in the process for ruining his/her life, while he/she could have done it beforehand, giving you times to heal and more options to find another love to share your life with.

    As a woman who has a lot of self esteem and know the value of her unique life and time on Earth, i won’t allow any man staying with me out of pity or convenience or friendship feelings, wether i am married or not. Or for someone who doesn’t work at making love stronger.

    I will dump him if i have the slightest feelings that his feelings are lukewarm towards me, whatever my own feelings.

    I will never compromise for love and i have much more respect for someone who treats me nice including having the courage and decency to tell me that he doesn’t love me anymore instead of faking and cheating which is the same in my view.

  53. McMe says:

    @ jojo – I agree that you can not steal a man who is happy and in love with his wife or wreck a home that is stable. Agreed. But, the fact is, EVERY marriage goes through hard times when maybe the couple does not feel happy and in love or stable. It seems Eric and his wife were going through one of those times. I think people feel in this case and others on this blog, that it would be nice if people (women and men) respected marriage and considered it off limits until the couple decides to end on their own terms without outside interference. Divorce sucks, but it happens. It is just a shame when it is between three people and not the two who took vows. Thats all.

  54. whitedaisy says:


  55. Kim says:

    Why do scorned women always blame the other woman??? YOUR EX HUSBAND/Eric is the loser – he is the one who chose to cheat! Jessica wasnt married. If it wasnt Jessica it woul dhave been another girl. Granted hooking up with a still married man is desperate – Im sure he told Jessica they were already in process of divorce and not just seperated. He is sleazy!

  56. Kim says:

    Her face does look like she is pregnant. Its different from just weight gain – it has that full pregnancy look to it. It will be a race to see who will get pregnant first : Vanessa or Jessica and Vanessa may not even want kids right away but we know Jessica is overdue so shell get pregnant quick (if she can).

  57. Camille says:

    @devilgirl: ITA.
    Girl is rough and getting bigger by the day. She is either preggers or comfort/happy over-eating/drinking.

  58. Isabel says:

    I’m going to take a gamble and say that she isn’t pregnant…she’s just got beer bloat. Girlfriend is kicking back way too many brewskis. She’s a (semi) closet lush, right?

    That face bloat is straight up booze-related. She’s carrying that dead animal thing to make people think otherwise.

  59. Nikki says:

    I don’t think she’s pregnant, I think she just eats crap, doesn’t work out, and boozes a lot, she was looking fat even before she met Eric. And I definitely think that Eric guy seems like a free-loading loser, I don’t think this marriage is going to last.

  60. lola lola says:

    Poor girl. She looks so fat. Time to push the plate away and say “no more Jello for me, Mom!”

  61. Dhavy says:

    If JS is as stupid as portrayed then she’s not that smart to “steal” anyone.

    I don’t think it was her fault at all because if a man cheats on his partner then is no one else’s fault but his and if he loves that person he will do anything to stay in the relationship.

    I think ever since she stopped hanging out with Ken she lost her sense of style completely because I’ve seen her looking bad before but never this bad!!

    Anyway, there’s only so much this Eric guy marrying her for money because I think Daddy Simpson keeps a tight grip on that money purse when it comes to his little girls

  62. original kate says:

    meh… looks like too many margaritas to me.

  63. Isa says:

    Okay, now I have to run over to Dlisted and see if MK has anything to say about Keri’s amazing eye brows!

    I’ve been seeing a lot of girls wearing those headbands and I think they look stupid.
    Unless you’re a hippy.

    Anyway, the way I see it is if you’re on a break you’re free to start seeing other people. This is something couples should discuss BEFORE going on break though. If you’re not prepared to deal with what a break might entail, then perhaps you shouldn’t have one. But that’s just my opinion.

  64. Hakura says:

    It escapes me how this woman has a multi-million dollar fashion-based-products career. My God.

    You’d think someone would pick out her clothing for her, as she’s sure as hell not doing her brand any good looking like this. This isn’t just ‘laziness’ like a lot of celebs will do on their downtime… this is just a mess.

    Like little girls who get into their mother’s closet and try to wear everything at once.

  65. truthzbetta says:

    True hippies are in their 60’s and 70’s. So yes, Jess looks straight up like a hippie right now.

    Hopefully the vacant eyes and gaping mouth are just from the drugs.

  66. Heat says:

    Why is it that, for some reason, I feel like this “home-wrecker” story came out of Jessica’s camp?
    It seems like Papa Joe is trying desperately to keep her in the news and a la “bad press is better than no press” he’s plugging this story to keep her newsworthy. Who cares? Neither Jess nor her fiance, whatever his name is, are doing anything these days. They are 100% boring. Now she’s dressing like some homeless bag-lady and she’s hoping to make headlines as a homewrecker. Maybe she’s still hoping to make news like Angelina Jolie with Brad Pitt.
    Honey: You ain’t no Angie and he ain’t no Brad. Sorry.

  67. Eleonor says:

    She’s got a billionaire fashion line and she can’t dress herself properly, I don’t like her superskinny as she used to be, but please girl: hire a f***ng stylist.

  68. JenJen says:

    Did she hunt down that poor animal in Aspen,skin it and eat the meat? It wouldn’t surprise me she is so disgusting.

  69. K-Burrrd says:


    There are plenty of ways to cover your bif without looking like the crazy lady at the Goodwill.

  70. MissyA says:


    Pity that someone who makes the majority of her donuts from fashion accessories always looks like she got dressed in the dark. . . with a box of donuts!

  71. Yael says:

    This BLIMPSON…better start losing weight, the double chin is winning pap space there! yuck! And why does she look like she stole Marilyn Manson’s freak platform shoes?????