Lindsay Lohan is like a drunk, crackheaded Mohandas Gandhi

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Lindsay Lohan is merely hours away from being released from the Betty Ford clinic. I think it was supposed to happen tomorrow, but some sources are now saying Lindsay is going to leave on Tuesday morning or something. Whatever – SOON. Soon the crackhead will be back on the street. Soon the crack hustle will commence. Soon babies will be clipped and cars will be hijacked, and Samantha Ronson will be stalked. SOON.

In the meantime, Lindsay decided to tweet this little message:

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[From Lindsay’s Twitter]

Yes, she must be healed! SHE’S QUOTING GANDHI. Bitch. Mohandas Gandhi (called “Mahatma” or “The Great One” by his Indian supporters) was a great man, a politician, a philosopher, and most importantly, a pragmatist. I’ve never really sat around thinking “I wonder what Gandhi would think about Lindsay Lohan’s crack hustle?” but now that she’s quoting him, I’m forced to consider it. Maybe Gandhi scholars will disagree, but I tend to think Gandhi’s reaction when faced with the Blohan family would be utter horror and disgust. He fought to bring independence and peace to India, and now some violent, brain-damaged crackhead is quoting him like her fake-sobriety has made her wise beyond her years? Ugh.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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61 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan is like a drunk, crackheaded Mohandas Gandhi”

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  1. brin says:

    Well I know when I see Lindsay, the first person I think of is Ghandi…
    she is mastering self-discipline so well.

  2. albeli says:

    She’s pathetic.

  3. someone says:

    Her lips look ridiculous

  4. Isa says:

    Ah these pictures are so old.
    It’s a new year, so give the girl a break.
    We all want a fresh new start, so does she.
    She might surprise you this year and succeed in turning things around.

    Happy New Year Everybody!

  5. bubbles says:

    yeah, I agree. these pictures at this point are just downright nasty.

  6. teri says:

    I’m wishing her great years ahead.

  7. Innocent says:

    ROFL This post is hilarious.
    @Isa I agree
    New year and a new start for Lindsay with hopefully no more jail or rehab.

  8. DreamyVelvet says:

    Lohan: The new Tart of Trite.

  9. mslewis says:

    Actually, I’m rooting for her to stay sober. Won’t happen unless she sweeps away all of the enablers in her life but still, I’m hoping. She’s a pathetic young woman who could have spent the last seven or eight years making movies and earning money and possibly having a great career. Instead, she’s just a crackhead, just like all the other crackheads in any crackhouse on any corner. What a waste of a life.

  10. original kate says:

    i give it 90 days before she’s arrested for something.

  11. Liana says:

    best of luck to her.

  12. hellen says:

    @original kate, I think you are way too kind. I give her no more than 30 days before some crack drama ensues that will land her back in jail or rehab.

  13. Hautie says:

    My New Year hope for Lohan is that she never bleaches her hair blonde again.

    It is like Britney’s pink wig… I see a blonde Lohan… I think, she is cracked out. Bad hair colors always comes with a side of crazy for them.

    I hope someone can convince her to go back to her natural dark auburn.

    And it is stunning to realize that she is not even 25 and she looks 45 in these pictures.

    Though I love how she has used one of those extremely photoshopped Vanity Fair pictures, for her Twitter.

  14. Selena Castle says:

    Yes addict, true enough. Irksome yes. But to not quote Gandhi? I say, why not? If a few more people quoted and believed in great humanists like Gandhi then our world would be a whole lot better. I hope this down and out addict is truly following the edicts and not just looking at profoundquotes.com

  15. the original bellaluna says:

    She’s such an a$$hole. I seem to vaguely recall hearing something from what she said about the same thing (minus butchering Gandhi) LAST New Year’s. Blohan just needs to shut her blow hole.

  16. Po says:

    You guys I would like to see Lohan do better so we could simply move on to some other Disney star crackhead but it aint happening. Under the makeup, lip injections, and paychecks from the paps she is just an addict. Therefore, you’ll know that she is getting better when the drama leaves her life and we hear nothing about her for a while, the same as any other addict. She’s still staying out late, being accused of assault, and seems to have the same people in her life. The problem is with the advent of the 24 hour news media, what happens a few weeks ago can seem like it happened a year ago. When Lohan has no drama for a good 6 to 12 months you’ll know that she is “trying” to get better. Until then I give her about as much credit as Kaiser does in the attempted sobriety game.

  17. manda says:

    the juxtaposition of lindsay lohan and gandhi totally cracked me up!

  18. Mel says:

    Wow that first pic, unbelieveable, she looks 55 plus, all those wrinkles at her age. Any sane person would look in the mirror and think ‘Crikes I look bloody awful’. That pic is evidence of how far her delusion has gone.

    I don’t see her ever getting better as long as her pathetic mother aids and abets with the delusion.

  19. Faye says:

    Let her quote who she wants, her actions will tell the story. We’re so used to (and amused by) her failing that we expect it. I don’t expect change considering her behavior while in rehab, but the only person who has to believe she can change is herself. Will it happen? I’m not holding my breath, but I don’t want her whole life to be wasted, so I hope that by measures she is able to alter her pattern of behavior.

  20. Innocent says:

    @hellen and original kate
    There is only 53 days between her leaving rehab on Janaury 3rd and her February 25th court date.
    Countdown – http://t.co/Bwv2i2H
    Surely she can pass all her drug/alcohol tests until then and break the rehab/jail cycle.

  21. teri says:

    I think expecting Lindsay to just disappear and stay in hiding is silly. She’s young and still needs to live her life, a healthy life at that. Drinking in moderation is good especially for her age. She needs to stay away from Paris H. and her group of druggies. I’m still waiting for that Brandon guy or greasy or whoever to od on drugs. The people she chooses to hang with will speak volumes.

  22. Kiska says:

    Her face is a mess. Holy cow. She use to be so pretty.

  23. Bella Mosley says:

    Between her crazy nut job mom, being an addict, and more than likely being uninsurable to make a movie I don’t see her prospects as very good. With her record I’d be afraid to risk a movie on her showing up, staying sober and doing her job. It isn’t going to be easy, but I do wish her well.

  24. Marjalane says:

    You keep those pictures of LaLohan coming Kaiser! They keep me from touching anything more than wine and vodka!

  25. Sassy says:

    Yes, Lindsay’s quoting Gandhi, so therefore she must be all better. No more crack drama in 2011. Hahahahahahhaahhahaha. *gasp* Hahahhahahaaaaahahahah. White Oprah should be making a statement very soon on how “cured” her CHILD is.

    Blohan is such an a$$hole.

  26. texasmom says:

    I wish her good luck — she’s gonna need it.

    Maybe she can make a living as a special guest at other people’s children’s interventions? “Please darling, look what could happen to YOU!!”

  27. lucy2 says:

    If she did manage to get it together and get her life back on track, that would be great.
    But in reality, I’d say the chances of that are pretty slim. Over and over she’s been at this point, and over and over she’s messed up bad.

  28. Nanea says:

    All people in her social network lack maturity and true compassion.

    They only see the $$$ LiLo used to bring.

    So I highly doubt that LiLo will get better unless she gets worse (treatment) first, like really being made to pay for her actions, not by going to jail but by e.g. doing social work, supervised, no special treatment because she’s a celeb, and I’m using that term loosely here.

  29. JenJen says:

    original kate- 90 days,that is kind of you to give her the benefit of the doubt! I bet it won’t even be a month before she is back in the slammer,if she doesn’t OD first.

  30. Gunthar2000 says:

    Every time Lindsay screws up she tries the same old 12-step AA hocus pocus nonsense that has failed her so many times before.

    Lindsay, if you are reading this, please take some time and research the history and mind control tactics of Alcoholics Anonymous. If you dig around on line you’ll see that AA is nothing more than a religious cult dressed up to look like a treatment for alcoholism. The same goes for all 12-step oriented cults. Hanging out with a bunch of fucked up people is not the answer to your problems. Just look at how they go on about you in forums all over the web… They hate your guts because you are famous… It’s nothing personal… These people hate anyone they can’t control… especially if that person has more of a life than they do.

    These people actually enjoy seeing you fail Lindsay… They smile in your face at meetings, and then they smear your name every chance they get.

    Get out now while you still can… Try SMART Recovery, LifeRing or one of the many other available recovery groups. These cult freaks are no good for anyone. Get out before they snatch your personality and everything you have right from under your nose.

    stinkin-thinkin.com

  31. Hakura says:

    I’m thinking the same thing as everyone else here.

    It would be great if she could manage to really *want* to change, and not simply pretend in order to get off probation. I wish her luck in that, as someone who has been through an addictive situation before as well. It’s really difficult, and without support, almost impossible.

    Perhaps if her mom *was* taken for DWTS, Lindsay would have some time *without* her around. *I’d* put my channel on the show and hit ‘mute’ (and get online or read a book xD) if the ratings would keep her around long enough to help Lindsay somehow >.<

  32. Chris says:

    I doubt Lilo is capable of making it at this point in time. Life still has more to offer than boring 12 Step Meetings, there’re still more parties to go to, more dealers to shag and still plenty of paps willing to take her picture.

  33. Confuzzle says:

    The only cycle she’s going to break is a bicycle she runs over with her car whilst high.

  34. Anon says:

    I think Gandhi would be more horrified that words he spoke (passionately, I might add) are quoted/misquoted and thrown around so easily today.

    He was an amazing man who deserves so much more than to be used as a Twitter post by someone like Lindsay.

  35. wunderkindt says:

    She is still as much an addict as ever!

    I predict a big cokelicious party (hosted by ‘worst Mom ever’ Dina) on the very first day she is released.

  36. JenJen says:

    Really I do hope that Lindsay gets her act together this year. If Duh-na could get her own reality show,why can’t Lindsay? Perhaps overwhelming fear about finances contributes to her habit.She doesn’t have a responsible family member to fall back on,they depend on her. That is alot of pressure for a young person.If that is the case it’s sad,because she did work hard as a kid and took care of her family.
    She looks like she was trying to inject botox herself into her forehead and forgot what she was doing in the second pic. Yeah,I have to admit I would watch.

  37. Mettel says:

    Well do be fair, quotes are meant to be inspiring and they ought to lead a person to thoughts the quote is saying.. If Lindsay is quoting him .. fine, no problem, Gandhi wouldn’t mind, if she doesn’t believe in the quote, Gandhi wouldn’t care.. if she uses this to get more people talking about her – Gandhi wouldn’t give sh**.. Stop posting things about her!!

  38. Sumodo1 says:

    Does anybody remember how long it took the “on-probation with an ankle bracelet” Lilo to fail a piss test? That is exactly how long she’ll stay sober this time.

  39. Marjalane says:

    There is no way DWTS would take White Oprah without something IN WRITING about how many times crackygirl has to be in the audience and in the producer packages. Face it, it’s only people like us, who enjoy celeb snark, that even know who Dina Frickin’ Lohan is! and on that note, I’m going to sit myself down and have a long talk with myself about where my life is going!

  40. Shy says:

    I really don’t understand why judge didn’t put that SCRAM bracelet on her for at least a year. That would be the best punishment since she hates that thing 🙂

    Will there be probation for year or two? Or in a month she will be free to do drugs and alcohol?

    And the most amazing thing about crackhead and her crazy mother is that those two idiots really, i mean REALLY think that now after she will come out her career will be IMMEDIATELY restored and spielbergs and tarantinos will run to her door with scripts…

    They are just too stupid to understand that it took YEARS of very low profile life and good behavior for likes of Drew Barrymore and RDJ to rebuild their careers. And for years they starred in small films before they got a chance for roles in big movies. And those crazy Lohans think that after that fake rehab she will become promising and rising star again…

  41. Javagirl1 says:

    Maybe she should hang out with Nicole Richie. Nicole used to come across as pretty vile. But the way she’s changed her life is remarkable.

  42. Chris says:

    @javagirl: Nicole has probably got her act together by not hanging around with people like Lilo. So I doubt she’d be interested.

  43. Bodhi says:

    Surely she can pass all her drug/alcohol tests until then and break the rehab/jail cycle.

    IMO 53 days is just as generous as 90.

    I give her one month, during which I am sure that she will parade around in front of the paps carrying AA/sobriety related materials or “scripts”, be seen walking into/out of recording studios &/or pose in widows of astronomically expensive boutiques.

  44. echolocate says:

    Gandhi quote notwithstanding, any Twitter post from Lindsay at this time (or in the next couple of months) seems ill-advised to me, and bodes poorly for her recovery. Lindsay needs to break her addiction to attention most of all, to learn to live in a world where all eyes aren’t necessarily on her.

    Because, if she’s not immediately embraced by the industry as the new RDJr., with good new roles and opportunities (i.e., ones not involving ShamWow Vince), I think she’ll be strongly tempted to go back to her old ways to stay on the radar. She’s like a child who gets into something she shouldn’t when Mom’s on the phone, just to coax Mom to hang up and pay attention to her.

    If one of her first moves as she nears freedom is to Twitter, it’s clear she still subscribes to that “notice me yet?” worldview. A little worrying, but she’s her parents’ meal ticket (directly or indirectly), and I doubt either of them would encourage her to absent herself from the public eye. If Dina and Michael aren’t pulling down appearance fees for blathering about their kid’s private business on “Today” or “The Insider,” why, they’ll just die!

  45. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    great! We get to start off the new year with Blohan news…

    Ugh *****going to stick my head in a bucket of ice*****

  46. MissyA says:

    Yeah. Because she was sooo inspirational during her time in India.

  47. Annabelle says:

    If Ghandi is as good as everyone says he is, then I doubt he would judge Lohan. Everyone has their tribulations…

    But i’m more concerned about that second picture. How is that eyebrow situation even possible? I’ve never seen someone raise their eyebrow so high while keeping the other so low *woah*

    I also think the fact that Lohan doesn’t seem to *want* to get better is all part of her addiction/mental illness. Nobody has been able to get past that wall that she has put up. And its not because “Lindsay” doesn’t want to get better, its because “addiction” is stopping “Lindsay” from thinking clearly. When you are addicted to something, it really is as if something else has taken over you.

  48. Viktorygin says:

    Geez, how old are these pics? Between the standard issue pink lipstick for whores and and the pr0n star bleach job, I though this was Donatella Versace.

    Faith is such a flimsy thing. Wish I possessed more of it in her case.

  49. citysuede says:

    wow, that pic of her in the white off the shoulder number is horrible! How can she be in her 20’s?? I agree with most of the posts, but wish it was different – i am starting to feel sorry for her. she is no Robert Downey Jr, who is an amazing actor, and can rise to the top – exceeding all his previous work. hope we are all wrong, and she can get it together….

  50. Sandy says:

    She really makes me sad.

  51. Hakura says:

    @echocolate (#43)- You just completely nailed it. Honestly, I hadn’t truly thought about the fact that her first move is Twitter…

    And in response to someone else’s comment… she is under a lot of pressure, considering Dina relies on her working completely to support the family. If she’s unsuccessful at getting the ‘jobs’ she’s looking for, or expects to be offered… She may go back to what she knows, getting in trouble so people will want to talk to her, and get pictures.

    It’s not a good sign.

  52. BELLE EPOCH says:

    LESS than one month until
    – whining about movie role she lost
    – caught stealing
    – some escapade at 3 AM
    – driving drunk or otherwise impaired
    – car accident of some sort
    – screaming fight in public
    – being “victimized” by someone
    – starting silly lawsuit for money
    – blaming Betty Ford for failures
    – scene involving father

  53. dorothy says:

    I give her 30 days before she gets arrested for something. Loser.

  54. Green Is Good says:

    And when she gets caught drunk and high on coke again, she’ll blame Betty Ford, her sponsor AND Gandhi for her relapse.

    BTW, every Monday morning news/talk show is covering her release from rehab. Ugh. Daddy Dearest is on Good Morning America shooting his yap off AGAIN. Cue Mommy Dearest rushing over to the Today show to blab.

  55. Inkoop goud says:

    Wow what happened to her.. she used to look great but now…. 🙁

  56. 4Real says:

    This broad and her crackhead mom have been taking notes from the Spears camp ever since she saw the coverage Brit got for shaving her head. I have zero respect for her or her work and she would have to fall off for a couple years for me to even start to care at this point.

  57. Hakura says:

    @BELLE EPOCHE (#51)- I think we should save that, & turn it into a checklist. I’m curious to see how accurate your assumption is. >.> It sounds pretty plausible.

    @GreenIsGood (#53)- And when she gets caught drunk and high on coke again, she’ll blame Betty Ford, her sponsor AND Gandhi for her relapse.

    Pfffft. (I admit that got a ‘snort’ out of me upon reading. xD) I wish it wasn’t so probable.

  58. the original bellaluna says:

    @ Belle Epoche – Don’t forget “throwing a drink on someone”…you KNOW that’s gonna happen!!

  59. Butch says:

    @DreamyVelvet Lohan “the new Tart of Trite”. Brill! Not really ‘new’ though…still great!

  60. LittleDeadGirl says:

    That’s the wonderful thing about the internet. You pop up google, type in “inspirational quotes” and boom suddenly you can pretend to have a brain. Ask her if Gandhi is still alive or any of fact about his life, and watch the great massive blank stare on this bitch’s face.

  61. Jeri says:

    Wasn’t it India that was considering “banning” her after “her miraculous rescue of the children” or was that another country?