Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift over the phone, just like Joe Jonas!

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Our New Jennifer Aniston gets treated like crap by men too! According to Us Weekly (via LaineyGossip), Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift just before New Year’s… over the phone. JUST LIKE JOE JONAS. Is this the only thing Joe Jonas and Jake Gyllenhaal have in common? Discuss.

How Jakey dumped Swifty. It was over the phone. Just before New Year’s. I hope it was more than 27 seconds. That’s apparently how long it took for Joe Jonas to end things with her. On the phone too.

These are the details presented to us about the Jakey-Swifty break-up in the new issue of Us Weekly, with Taylor’s heartbreak on the cover. It’s a top seller. And pretty soon, she’ll have more than John Mayer in common with Jennifer Aniston.

Jennifer, however, is much more experienced. And besides, Jennifer really isn’t looking for love. If only Jennifer could admit to the fact that she’s in it for a good f-ck. If only.

Taylor on the other hand at 21 is in love with love. So when Jakey pursued her, going through their agents to arrange a hook-up, of course it was like stars and rainbows. Jake of course has dimples and is delightful and hot. So it’s easy to blame her for being a dumbass.

But then again, he invited her to spent time with his family on Thanksgiving. She held hands with his niece. So… I don’t know… if I were analysing that over the phone and tears with a girlfriend post-split, that would have confounded me too. But if he wasn’t into me, why would he ask me to spend the holiday with him?

You’ve had those conversations, right? You’ve picked apart everything he said? And now?

Us Weekly says now Swifty isn’t eating. She’s also supposedly working out like mad, to bury the pain, I guess, which will eventually transform itself into lyrical inspiration. Jake meanwhile is having dinner with buxom blondes. Because a player never stops playing.

[From LaineyGossip]

Lainey is too kind to Jake. But yeah, I’ve been wondering that too – who comes out of the Jake-Swifty debacle looking worse? Is it Swifty because she’s such an immature little thing, and if she hadn’t gushed so much to everyone about Jake being the apple-picking, coffee-swirling love of her life, maybe he wouldn’t have bailed? Does Swifty look bad because people are now calling her “The New Aniston”? Or does Jake look bad because he dumped Swifty so quickly and so douchily? Does it make him look gay? Or, gayer? Personally, I think Jake looks worse coming out of it. Swifty is a child. We know that. Jake knew that, and he dated her anyway. And he looks like either: A) An older dude who likes much younger women who act like little girls or B) A gay dude who manipulated a young girl into a PR relationship, and who dumped her when the charade didn’t fool anyone.

Oh, Swifty’s Jake Song is going to be EPIC.

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Us Weekly cover courtesy of CoverAwards. Additional pics courtesy of WENN.

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79 Responses to “Jake Gyllenhaal dumped Taylor Swift over the phone, just like Joe Jonas!”

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  1. Hollowdoll says:

    BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
    IMO it definitely makes him look like a gay self centered douche taking adventage of a young girl. He should know better.

  2. nycmom10024 says:

    Maybe she will add fuel to the gay rumors?

  3. KLO says:

    It looks really bad for Jake.
    But who knows, maybe in reality Taylor is a crazy clingy madwoman behind closed doors.
    Can’t wait for the song tho. The first Swifty song I’ll listen to will be the one about Jake.
    :D

  4. mln76 says:

    Two things Jake looks like an ass to the minivans, and to anyone who reads blogs it looks less, and less believable that he isn’t Toothy Tile.
    As for Swifty as the new Aniston that’s B.S. I mean the girl should date around she is barely out of her teens. She has plenty of time to settle down when she is ready. I dislike her and think her music is crap but to compare her to a woman in her 40s is ridiculous.

  5. brin says:

    Didn’t he learn from the Joe Jonas experience? This is gonna be one nasty song.

  6. Vi says:

    option B please!

  7. normades says:

    Jake f`cked up bad!

  8. Shio says:

    ಠ_ಠ Seriously
    Am I the only one thinking she looks like a mean squirrel

  9. Kate says:

    Disclosure — I have two girls, so Taylor is a goddess in our house.

    That said, I hope she outs Jake on her next album. I’m so tired of his showmances. He is as gay as gay can be. And, by the way, Taylor’s song “Better than Revenge”, which is supposedly about Camilla Belle (the cause of the Jonas breakup) is nasty (and awesome). Watch your back (pun intended) Jake.

  10. dread pirate cuervo says:

    Maybe he thinks being a “heartbreaker” will make him look less gay?

  11. Stronzilla says:

    This chick must have a serious complex about telephones by now. Guess no Verizon ads in her future then.

    I just called to say it’s over,
    I just called to say I just don’t care,
    I just called to say it’s over,
    And I mean it from the bottom of my heart

  12. Hollowdoll says:

    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. IMO she looks like lamb chop. Although she does kind of come off as a scary squirrel as well.

  13. YAWN!!!! says:

    When will this moronic fiction about Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift’s showmance end?

  14. crtb says:

    Stop crying and put on your big girl panties. You’re a grown woman! How many men have you been out with in the last two years? It is mean to write a nasty song every time a guy breaks up with you! Get over it. You have a life time of breaks-ups to experience. Stop being vindictive.

  15. Hautie says:

    What I want is for Taylor to have her own “Jagged Little Pill” type of album. I want to see Taylor get mean. :)

    Well maybe not mean. Maybe a little vindictive. haha!

    (To this day I still love Alanis Morissette for that album.)

  16. faking in Hollywood says:

    “That said, I hope she outs Jake on her next album.”

    Being (openly) gay is not good for business in Hollywood and that’s why Jake fakes relationships with women.

    Taylor Swift fakes relationships because she wants publicity and more money – I hope someone outs her.

  17. Lila says:

    He wants the Ladykiller reputation. But she is creepy. I’m mean, c’mon. She’s 21 singing about being 15. This chick is more saccharine than Disney.

    @Shio she does look like a mean squirrel… or a wolf.

  18. LOL says:

    “Oh, Swifty’s Jake Song is going to be EPIC.”

    It is going to be bad and lame like ALL Swift’s songs.

  19. latam2012 says:

    i dont think jake is gay particularly as he with with kirsten dunce before he was that big.

    That being said phone dumping isnt the way to go but hes perfectly allowed to dump whoever he wants. Shes really dumb parading around talking about her love so quickly, i dont particularly think her songs are that classy either.

  20. get real says:

    “Jake knew that, and he dated her anyway.”

    They didn’t date, they did a few photo ops for Us Weekly.

    Swift loves using closeted gays for publicity, Jake isn’t the first one.

  21. Lila says:

    And she’s dressed like a figure skater.

  22. sapphire says:

    @’Zilla-hilarious!

    I don’t buy Lainey’s take on Jakey for reasons we’ve discussed before. Far more likely, his PR person called her PR person and said “Nobody believes us-WAH!”

  23. the original bellaluna says:

    @ crtb – Word. It’s like the poems I used to write in high school!

  24. Rita says:

    These showmances are only fun for us while they last. Who looks bad now? How will it affect their careers? 3,2,1 nobody cares. NEXT!!!

  25. Roma says:

    I envision her being a super clingy, clued out girlfriend. Like the type of girl you try to dump in person over and over again who then shows up the next day for coffee.

    Maybe men feel like the safest way to make things clear to her is over the phone?

    This is the dating advice that I give all my guy friends: Bitches be crazy.

  26. Bubulle says:

    I’m so tired of this BS, Jake is gay and Taylor is a professionnal beard, all this so called stories about their breakup are made-up to make us think otherwise.

  27. moi says:

    they dated for all of three months. I’m not seeing what’s so HEARTBREAKING about this situation, sorry.

  28. oh, how times have changed! I wasn’t allowed to date until I was 18 and this girl has had more boyfriends than I can count. If she is having sex with all these guys, she is a slutty little thing. I hope her parents get involve in her love life and advice her to value herself a bit more and take her time when choosing the next boyfriend.

  29. Scarlet Vixen says:

    @Roma: I was kinda thinking the same thing–if TWO guys have dumped Swifty over the phone I think that speaks more about HER than them. I totally see her as the clingy “OMG! We are sooo in LUV!!! Let’s adopt kitties and puppies together and dress them in cute pink fluffy sweaters while planning our fairy tale princess wedding and writing down our favorite baby names on my new Strawberry Shortcake glittery rainbow notepad with my own big girl name on it with my yummy scented magic markers as we share a milkshake with pink and blue matching silly straws!” Plus, people in that industry are busy and travel alot, so I bet alot of their actual ‘relationships’ occur thru phone, texting, etc. I actually had a fiance break off our engagement over the phone (while I was at work), which I think is way worse than a 2 month showmance, but I got over it. We saw each other once a month, so I didn’t take the phone aspect of it too personally. Thank god I didn’t marry that d-bag anyway. LoL

  30. Lisa Turtle says:

    I’m a big Lainey fan, I really like her analysis most of the time… HOWEVER: In reference to this public relationship I do not buy her story. Lainey refused to pick apart Jake & Taylor when they were dating and kept rising to their defense… I just think we’re not getting the whole story. Maybe it was purely a publicity stunt, maybe Jake is gay. Who knows, but Lainey is definitely witholding the real dirt on this story.

  31. mymy says:

    Did anyone out there notice Jake broke up with Taylor after Reese announced her engagement. Do you all have such short memories. He was using Taylor to sooth his broken heart and perhaps make Reese jealous. younger girl and all. After he heard Reese was engaged he did a little soul searching and he found he needed a more mature love interest. Phone calls are not unusual when you don’t live in the same zip code. And I think he didn’t want to fly in and do it. New Year and all. I do not believe Jake is gay. He has a strong older sister and mother and i bet his family was female woman centered and cultivated an overly sensitive male child.

  32. jover says:

    Hautie, she can’t produce something like jagged little pill, because that requires talent and authenticity – two of the many things this completely corporate, contrived no talent lacks. How many times does she have to attempt to sing on these factitious awards shows and fail miserably yet her fans still can’t see through the cotton candy and puppy love. Her persona is fake; the fact that she’s doing all these endorsements (I see now Cover girl; oh for the 90s when supermodels did this and looked a lot better than this smurf) says that her management team is cashing in because there is no longevity with this fraud. Who will listen to taylor 20-30 years from now – anyone listen to the Spice girls lately and in the late 90s they were bigger in pop than taylor now they are forgotten.

  33. eja102 says:

    you cannot compare taylor with alanis.

    as for jake looking bad, well, no. he made a poor choice, but the person who looks bad, and always will, is the one who tells the tales.
    taylor has, and will continue to I am sure, proven herself as untrustworthy in a relationship.
    what’s her point? what’s the relevance? to garner sympathy?
    she’s a big girl, time to pull up her big girl panties and own her life.

  34. MM says:

    He dumped her because he found out she sounds horrible live! I cant believe they actually have her on award shows performing live.

  35. KCT says:

    I find it interesting that no one goes around claiming that George Clooney is gay even though he dates lots and lots of women but never commits, and he’s almost 50 years old.

    I don’t really care whether Jake is gay or not but would think that his relationships with Reese and Kirsten wouldn’t have lasted as long as they did if he was.

    He and Taylor went out all of a couple of times and the media blew it out of proportion. I hope she keeps her future ‘romances’ out of the limelight so people will leave her alone. She seems like a sweet girl but has a lot to learn about being discreet.

  36. sharylmj says:

    I think she gets real clingy real fast. she’s not mature on the relationship level and Jake freaked out and dumped her. Also, I bet she’s a control freak which turns guys off too… she has A LOT of growing up to do. She seems to be the type that will get her heart broken a bunch of times before she figures it out. This seemed like a very strange match up to me in the first place.

  37. flutters says:

    Jake will undoubtedly come out looking worse. Either he’s the douche who should’ve known better than to date a 14 year old in a 21 year old’s body who thinks 2 month relationships are enough for songs about how heartbroken she is, or he’s the douche who knowingly took part in a showmance to advance both their careers.

    For Taylor the damage is she’s now known as a professional beard/dater for PR purposes. In a few months time her PR team will start repairing her reputation by leaking that she’s been dating a non celeb (that her PR team found for her) for months while on tour. That relationship will end quietly by the time she’s found a new showmance candidate because she’s got her sights set on conquering Hollywood.

    Lainey’s a shill. Both the Gyllenhaal and Swift PR teams have been working her over the last couple of years and it’s even obvious in her little column on the break up.

  38. Mia Girl says:

    I think this is Taylor’s last “get out of jail free because everyone feels sorry for what happened to you” card. I really believe that “Poor Taylor” is her PR strategy because it has worked time and time again – break ups (Jonas, Meyer), Kanye, etc.-
    But honestly, when I was 21 and got dumped by an older guy, NONE of my friends thought that I was a young girl being taken advantage of. They thought I was stupid for getting involved with the guy in the first place, old enough to know better – they told me so – and so when it didn’t work out I had to own it.
    Taylor needs to start owning her choices and consequences… not leaking this stuff to the tabloids.
    As for Jake – what he hoped to gain from is beyond me.

  39. Jayna says:

    Jake isn’t gay. Reese Whitherspoon is no dummy. She would never have stayed with a guy who wasn’t all man for several years. She doesn’t need it.

    This story has falsities in it. He didn’t contact her through agents. Gwyneth Paltrow fixed them up. They went out a little and he just wasn’t that into her. I understand. I can’t imagine why he would be into her. She’s too immature for him and not particularly sexy, just sweet looking. He moved on quickly. It happens.

  40. Cheyenne says:

    I don’t care if Swift is a clingy, brain-dead idiot, you do NOT break up with anyone by phone or text or e-mail!

    Jake needs to man the f*ck up!

  41. Elfie says:

    @Kate I checked the song and its totally cool lol ” Shes Better Known For The Things She Does On The Matress “

  42. mln76 says:

    She would never have stayed with a guy who wasn’t all man for several years

    Actually I think Reese got with Jake to avoid the here it goes “Aniston syndrome” basically if she didn’t publicly move on everyone would have talked about her divorce until the end of time. She probably started dating fiance somewhere along the way which is why she is moving so fast.

  43. Lee says:

    Oh my lord…the girl 21 years old (she’s a baby)!!! If she stays in Hollywood she will fall in and out of “love” many times; and hopefully toughen up. Hollywood is NO places for sissies. Jake is too old for her. At this point in both of their lives, they are just not ready.

  44. Liana says:

    I find it interesting that no one goes around claiming that George Clooney is gay even though he dates lots and lots of women but never commits, and he’s almost 50 years old.
    *************

    Are you kidding? That’s one of the most common rumors around, that Clooney’s either gay, bi, or one kinky mother who hires his girlfriends.

  45. EdithP says:

    Maybe she’s like Halle Berry — remember when everyone felt sorry for her because she had such bad luck with men, and then it came out that she was batshit crazy? Who knows, though.

  46. lili says:

    makes you wonder – if she is so young, sweet, tall, successful blah blah, why did so many men date her and leave her in such hurry, something is not that sweet about her

  47. bluhare says:

    I picture her sitting in her bedroom with her diary, pen (with feather on the end) in her teeth, writing down her married name(s).

    Something about her look is off. Can’t explain it, but it just is.

  48. Jacqueline says:

    He’s taking advantage of her? She is old enough to knwo what she is doing. Men have been takign advantage of women since the beginning of time. Live and learn-Im not saying its right what he allegedley did. Now, lets just wait for her to take her advantage back, in a Grammy winning award song. Advantage indeed.

  49. PinkMarshmallowCreme says:

    Is Taylor just a professional beard or does anyone think she might be gay also?

  50. Cheyenne says:

    @lili: Maybe she’s too clingy and insecure and tries to get them to commit too soon.

  51. Marjalane says:

    Oh my. SO many things to agree with in these comments! Yeah, I’m thinking Jakey boy is quite the gay man and yeah, he should have known better than to try and make Hello Kitty beard for him, but don’t you probably think that he never expected her to be as hideously annoying as she was? and maybe it only took a month to figure out that a quick over the phone dump was for the best- For someone who’s been playing in the big leagues for a while now, I have no sympathy for Swifty- she’s old enough to figure these things out. I think a lot of the reasoning for her idiotic music is because it SELLS! It’s her shtick- teenagers don’t know that it’s shitty shtick.

  52. Johnny Depp's Girl says:

    hahahahaha!!!!

  53. sapphire says:

    I am going to guess Tay-Tay’s straight for only one reason-she slept with John-the-douche. And I don’t think rainbows and unicorns had anything to do with THAT.

  54. hmmhmm says:

    @Kate,

    so what if he’s gay. It’s still not her business to “out” him if he is not comfortable with the idea. When he’s ready, he’ll let the public know.

    My opinion is that she gets a lot of slack for being Colin Farrel because she’s sweet. She’s allowed to date, but its offputing to me that she would gush so proudly of every guy she dated like it was high school when relationships lasted two months. Honestly, she is immature. She’s a year younger than me but I know she’s cruising for a bruising in relationships because she probably demands a lot in terms of emotional support from her man.

    Just my two cents.

  55. alexandra says:

    She is a teenager! Only men wwith huge complexes date girls that young. Middle age men with crisis and sexually confused men, or men that are inmature and can only relate to young people.

  56. coexxi says:

    I honestly don’t believe that JG is gay. I wouldn’t have a problem if he was but I don’t think so.

    But I’m pretty sure that he wasn’t aware what he was getting into with TS. And after he found out he bailed. Seems reasonable.

    And please stop acting as if a 21 year old girl who is for years in showbiz is a little flower…. I find this angle quite annoying.

    BTW a lot of starlets date “older” men without people freaking out about it like in this case. Hayden Pant…whatever, the girl with Marilyn Manson, the Transformer girl (normally I know her name, but today I just can’t remember anyone!) most of the “model”girlfriends from the likes as DiCaprio and so on…

  57. Camille says:

    I think everyone knew that this wouldn’t end well. These 2 were NEVER going to last forever. Neither of them came out of this looking good IMHO.

  58. LT says:

    Please don’t let her name her next song “Jake”.

  59. LolaBella says:

    Jake definitely comes off worse in this.

    He looks like the big, bad, older man who used his heart-throb status, charm and good looks to sweep Princess Innocent Unicorn off her feet and then callously dumped her and broke her heart.

    He deserves whatever flack he gets in the fallout from this fauxmance, because this PR stunt was a BAD IDEA from the beginning! UGH.

    I am probably the ONLY person on the planet who does not believe that Jakey is Toothy Tile (or gay). Le Sigh.

    Oh and I hope Taylor sends Jakey a really nice gift for giving her all the material she needs for her next hit album.

  60. Julia says:

    I am beginning to wonder what Jake’s intentions were in the first place. He is a grown man who had to know that Taylor is a very young and very famous young lady. Was he playing her along the whole time for publicity? Jake should have talked to Taylor in person. Is he not man enought to see her face to face to say he can’t be in a realationship with her anymore? It doens’t matter who the person is or how you feel, a person deserves a face to face breakup. The phone is just rude. I really thought Jake was a nice guy…

  61. G. says:

    Honestly, I would probably dump Swifty over the phone too. Then again, I would never date her in the first place. She seems to have the emotional maturity of a 13 year old.

  62. UnAttributableSpoon says:

    Maybe JG is the beard and Swifty is gay?

    I thought they were a very strange pairing as well. The only thing I can think of that they have in common is being celebrities.

  63. beth says:

    “Oh, Swifty’s Jake Song is going to be EPIC.”

    Man, I can’t wait.

  64. april says:

    @kate i just listened to “better than revenge” on youtube with lyrics… its hilarious. i think its awesome actually.

    i didnt know she had that side to her.

  65. sharylmj says:

    yeah.. she’s gonna make money off of this one too… you just KNOW it!!

  66. chelly says:

    her next song might be:
    oh jake,
    you’re such a mistake
    I wanna hit with a rake
    and drown you in a lake
    jake.

  67. Zha says:

    I though jake is a good man,finaly i know that he is ONLY CHICKEN with a georgeous body,…GO TAYLOR….!! dont make him ruin ur live……he is only ‘little thing’ who act like gentle…

  68. Dirty Martini says:

    YAWN.

    Shes dumb and young. Hes’ not and gay.

    We are dumb, old and straight.

    Is there a point to all of this?

    Its a bunch of scattered $h1t that just doesnt hang together.

    Lets all talk about Gwyennie and GOOP instead.

  69. Pete says:

    My goodness, so many housfraus who still refuse to see the reality.
    Jake G is gay.
    In Hollywood and in the music industry 85% of people are either gay or bi or are ready to sleep with directors and music producers to further their career. It’s the only way or you have family connections like Jake.

    Bearding has paid off for Reese, who didn’t want to look pathetic and alone after her divorce and she was already secretly dating her fiance while she was with Jake.
    No one in that business is above PR relationships. Those who aren’t willing to do it never make it. These people want attention otherwise they would have chosen a different profession.

  70. di butler says:

    “Don’t tell my heart, my Jakey Breaky Heart…..”

    This girl can only play 3 chords, has only a fair vocal range, and at 21 she is terribly immature. Why does everyone want to love her so much?

  71. Hakura says:

    I get the impression that even though Taylor is 21…She approaches many aspects of her life as though she’s 16.

    Falling too hard-too quickly, Being very clingy (possibly bordering on a bit obsessive), & not stopping to view the relationship in reasonable realistic terms.

    Like a teen, she’s so excited & happy about her new relationship that she wants to tell the world…to express how *great* the guy is. But in the case of celebrities constantly in the public eye, having their quotes recorded for all eternity…That will always circle back & take a big bite out of your ass.

    I also would have thought his introducing her to his family (& even inviting her to come for Thanksgiving) meant it might have been serious…but now that I think about it, he may have brought her because he had relatives that liked her music, & wanted to meet her…like the niece mentioned. THAT would be incredibly douchey.

    The phone thing sucks… but at the very least, he didn’t break up with her through a text. (The ultimate in cowardice.)

  72. AngB says:

    The more I see of Taylor Swift the less likable she becomes. This was obviously a showmance (a ridiculous one!) and either Jake accepted that it wasn’t fooling anyone and bailed or this break-up was the plan all along to help make him seem more manly somehow. The whole thing is just yuck.

  73. kell says:

    Why do people state that he is gay as if there is sufficient evidence to know something like that? Is it because he played a gay man in a very controversial movie? I mean really people. What makes him different than any other man in Hollywood who has dated around. Please, someone tell me the basis for all of these claims so I can better understand where you all are coming from, and everything I have read thus far is pure nonsense! This is an example of school yard bullying crossing over to the internet. Not okay people!

  74. fran says:

    for heavens sakes , he dated her, maybe. doesnt mean he has to stay with her the rest of his life …grow up people..and how do you know he wasnt asked by her to go out with her to get some more exposure in hollywood..and who told you about all of this , gossip rags…also I think that Lainey is totally jealous of Jennifer Aniston, she writes about her enough..isnt the Jen bashing getting old. I mean if Jen doesnt want to get married or have a permanent relationship ..why should she. I for one like Jen and her movies and I dont care who knows it…

  75. fran says:

    thats who she reminds me of is a squirrel. tks whoever wrote that ,,also the girl doesnt have talent..it must be teens who keep voting and buying her stuff. Most teens havent developed taste yet..some guy wrote on another site that she always looks like she is smelling something bad..lol.

  76. Picturerazzi says:

    Taylor is a CHILD. Sure she is 21 but who at age 21 hasn’t fucked up once or twice involving men?look at Natalie Portman…. Her stalker found a way to her and now impregnated her and is her fiancé. WTF I feel like she is being drugged or something.

    Anyways, to break up with someone over the phone? Who does that? I actually hope she doesn’t write a song about him, he doesn’t deserve the extra attention.

    Hopefully this girl doesn’t have sexual abuse issues and that’s why she chooses bad people in her life. It wouldn’t surprise me. Where is her dad in her life?

    Maybe she will learn and start dating people closer to her own age at least not in their 30′s for heaven sakes!!!

  77. Fd says:

    Taylor Swift is a ho

  78. Ty says:

    …okay, I’m starting to think that there is something about Taylor Swift that makes guys not even want to see her when they break-up… maybe she freaks out at the smallest things or something. Cause one guy doing it is rude from him, but two… there is something else going on.