Gwyneth Paltrow: marriage is hard, I have to coax Chris to talk

Good Housekeeping has put their entire interview with Gwyneth Paltrow, who graces the February cover, online. (Thank you, GH!). We’ve heard some advance quotes from the piece, but this is the first time I’ve had a chance to read the full interview. She was promoting that dud of a movie, Country Strong, and it’s a lot of what we’ve already heard from The Goopster. She talks about how she’s such a great do-it-all mother and how her life philosophy helps her excel in areas of life the rest of us just coast through. The cracks do show in her marriage, though, and for as much as she goes on at length about her kids she’ll only speak reluctantly about her husband, Coldplay singer Chris Martin.

On “mindful” parenting
I’ve learned so much from being a mom about the kind of person I want to be, the kind of woman I want to be. Motherhood has taught me mindfulness. If you just parent on instinct, you’ll screw your kid up for life. You have to be so mindful.

On teaching her kids responsibility
I’m in a battle right now because Apple doesn’t like to go to gymnastics. When she’s crying about it, I just want to scoop her up and say, ‘Forget it. Let’s go get an ice cream.’ But you can’t do that, of course. That’s something my father taught me. You need to be accountable, and you need to be responsible. You need to honor your commitments

On her marriage
Oh, Chris hates when I talk about him… If I’m looking grumpy in public or if Chris and I leave a restaurant separately, it’s only because we don’t want to encourage photographers.

Marriage is hard. Chris and I have had our ups and downs, big-time. Marriage is way more complicated than just ‘Who gets to control the remote?’ But hopefully we keep heading in the same direction and getting through the obstacles.

I’m a good talker… I definitely have to coax things out of him when we talk. You know, he’s British, so it’s a different lexicon totally. But you have to communicate. Otherwise there’s no relationship.

On how Chris helped her learn guitar
It was so much fun to pick up a new skill. I can be a perfectionist, so I really practiced. And between Chris’s help and the director needing me to be prepared, I was totally ready when the time came.

[From Good Housekeeping via Huffington Post]

These comments by Gwyneth about how Chris taught her to play the guitar completely contradict an earlier interview she gave (also after completing filming) about how Chris couldn’t be bothered.

There’s much more of Gwyneth’s interview on the Good Housekeeping site if you’re interested and have a strong stomach. She’s working so hard to convince us that everything is fine, and that her strong work ethic and spiritual ethos enable her to be this know-it-all supermom who powers through daily trials with two kids and a reluctant husband who require her prodding guidance to bring out their best. She’s just like us, only more enlightened. Only it’s clear that her constant editorializing of her life is a kind of coping mechanism for dealing with the same bullshit that most of us have come to terms with. Who is she trying to fool, herself or us?

Photos below are from 1/17/11 credit:




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41 Responses to “Gwyneth Paltrow: marriage is hard, I have to coax Chris to talk”

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  1. OriginalGracie says:

    I think Gwyneth is harmless. And reading how carefully she chose her words about Chris, I feel bad for her.
    Her marriage might be in a very precarious place. That is hard for anyone.

    And I look at the bright side with her.
    Maybe she really is a good mom and her kids are thriving. That is a great thing.

    I am going to see Country Strong because I have a major crush on Tim McGraw as an actor. God, he’s just so hot (to me).

  2. Stephanie says:

    Cute shoes!

  3. OriginalGracie says:

    I also really enjoyed Gwyneth in The Talented Mr. Ripley.

  4. brin says:

    I guess Goopy has trouble keeping up with all her enlighening interviews because she is constantly contradicting herself.
    Chris Martin just sounds like a really private guy and Goop probably thinks she’s a fail if she can’t get him to open up to her.

  5. Malorie says:

    WHAT THE … Happened to her face???? It´s insanely SWOLLEN!

  6. Raven Sparrow says:

    Don’t we all have to coax our men to talk ??? I think it’s in their DNA.

  7. janie says:

    i would have payed money to see the expression on goop’s face when they gave her that turtleneck to wear at the photo shoot.

  8. Ally says:

    I do agree with the bit about, “If you just parent on instinct, you’ll screw your kid up for life. You have to be so mindful.”

    So many of my friends just react to their kids from moment to moment (with alternately, anger or indulgence), without an overall personal philosophy of what’s important and what isn’t, to them, the kid, or the family — it makes the kids and the parents frantic and constantly frustrated/discontented.

    I feel bad for young kids today who get so little calm, alone time, and roaming around outside. Like Michael Chabon writes in this good piece on the Huck Finn editing controversy, the kind of childhood described in Huck Finn and Tom Sawyer is like science fiction for today’s 8-year olds:

  9. flourpot says:

    “If you just parent on instinct, you’ll screw your kid up for life. You have to be so mindful.”

    I don’t get this quote. Mindful is a fancy way of saying paying attention. Instinct is – and i quote – response to specific environmental stimuli. I’m pretty sure that the majority of moms train Instinctively Mindful: Lvl 1 when their kid pops out.

    There’s a difference between responsibility and being made to do something you don’t enjoy. If she doesn’t like gymnastics, try ballet. Or Piano. Or hockey. Save the responsibility bit for feeding the cat on a daily basis or making sure you get to school on time. She’s what, 7? 8? From what I can remember, my responsibilities at that age were keeping my room clean and raking the lawn.

    “You know, he’s British, so it’s a different lexicon totally. But you have to communicate. Otherwise there’s no relationship.”

    Ok, LOL, they’re both English, Qwen. Try marrying Chinese, like I did. Then you can throw around “lexicon”.

    Gwen scored two today with me. Not only is she an idiot (1), she’s also a bad acrtress (2).

    Edit: great link, Ally. ty.

  10. December says:

    Gwen’s marriage is the only thing that makes me feel bad for her (but only a tiny bit).

    There’s something wrong in a marriage if the wife will willingly go to her husband’s concerts and support him, yet he refuses to be with Gwen on her red carpet events, especially when she got her own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. WTF!?! That’s a big event and Christ should have at the least been with her.

    And no one really gives a shit about Chris Martin. I highly doubt if Gwen and him went to a red carpet event, the cameras would be all over them. They’re not a huge iconic couple or even that popular.

    Hey Chris Martin – make your wife happy and fucking go to an event with her. Douche.

  11. Rita says:

    Note to Goopy: A little “self awareness” study may help. Record your Goop diaries and play them back several times. Then you may understand the situation from Chris’s point of view.

  12. candy says:

    I like Gwyneth. She has a sense of humor and seems to want to please. Chris Martin is a tool. Even Bono said so. I wish she would leave her face alone. Why, Gwyneth, why?

  13. mln76 says:

    Everything I hear about Chris Martin from non-Goopy sources make him sound like an insecure rockstar twit who cheats. I think GP stays with him out of her need to seem perfect. It’s pretty sad.

  14. poppy says:

    her being on the cover of good housekeeping is hysterical. you know she hates it and thinks it is so far beneath her. she never would have done it if it weren’t for her horrible movie. NEVER ever.
    maybe paltry should have gotten to know chris before getting pregnant and having her shot gun wedding.
    they suit each other… lame.

  15. Gwen says:

    This makes be believe the story about Chris and Kate Bosworth even more – which actually makes me feel a bit sorry for Goop. I wonder if there has been other women too.

  16. Jaded says:

    Two things come to mind:

    1. She’s trying too hard to be the new age Martha Stewart…and it’s not working. She’s as arrogant and sanctimonious as Ms. Stewart.

    2. She’s blaming her husband’s douchey non-communicative behaviour on his being “English”. That is a whole pile of wrong. I lived in England for a number of years and had a wonderful English boyfriend who could talk the ear off a stalk of corn, and many Englishmen I met were equally gregarious. So sorry Goopy, you just landed a jerk.

  17. Maud says:

    I agree that the ‘he’s British’ comment just doesn’t fly. I married a Brit and have found him and other British males to be sensitive and excellent communicators.

  18. TXCinderella says:

    Why is she forcing Apple to go to gymnastics if she doesn’t want to? Let her do something she likes doing. It’s not all about you Goopy.

  19. Bodhi says:

    Wait. Chris Martin is BRITISH? No way! 🙄

  20. Cel says:

    Its rubbish about British/English men not wanting to talk – I’ve lived in England for more than 20 years and have never had this problem.

    Its not the first time she has mentioned this, so maybe he just doesn’t want to talk to her.

    If a little girl doesn’t want to go to gymnastics, don’t force her – its nothing to do with honouring commitments, its about after school activities being fun!

  21. jen34 says:

    Obviously, she’s a much better mother than I am. As we speak, I’ve given my girls the okay to drop out of gymnastics in 2 weeks. Does that mean I’ve screwed them up for life?

  22. Christine says:

    If she’d show a smidge of self awareness she’d be interesting instead of sad. Instead now I believe that blind item about the couple who lives separate lives and he lives with his girlfriend in a different wing of the house is about Goopy.

  23. KsGirl says:

    Wow to the comments about British men being communicative! I’m Canadian but lived in the UK for years and almost married my British man (managed to escape that dreadful fate). Getting him to talk/communicate was like trying to get water from a stone, and he himself used to comment repeatedly on how I was “North American” and liked to “talk about everything”.

    Even with other Brits I have found the males to be, after a certain point, more emotionally shut down than here. Of course I’m generalizing and it probably doesnt help that ex is a certain ex public school, stiff upper lip ‘type’ of Brit. I think he saw talking as some kind of weakness.

    Either way, I totally sympathize with the Goop on her husband. He seems like a TOTAL douche.

  24. kristy sorensen says:

    Is it me, or is Goopy looking a hell of a lot like a blond version of Jennifer Carpenter from Dexter? Mildly fugly is all I’m saying.

  25. Crash2GO2 says:

    Methinks Chris will not be pleased with her comments. Seems a bit passive aggressive on her part if you ask me. Not that I entirely blame her.

  26. DGO says:

    Sounds like her marriage is on the rocks and she’s trying to keep it together for the kids. I feel sorry for her.

  27. The H says:

    I cannot see her actually putting on that turtleneck. Maybe they photoshopped it on?

  28. original kate says:

    “Chris and I have had our ups and downs, big-time.”


  29. dj says:

    @Ally. Thanks for the Michael Chabon link re: Mark Twain.

  30. annaloo says:

    This boring, out of touch and entitled woman is heading towards the end of her career. SO glad she peaked a long time ago.

    Cannot wait for her obscurity.

  31. daisyfly says:

    You’d have to coax me to talk to you too, Gwen. Hell, I wouldn’t doubt it if Chris walks around the house with earplugs in all day just so he can honestly tell you “what? I’m sorry, I didn’t hear a word you said.”

  32. Kim says:

    Its a male thing not an English thing -coaxing husbands and men in general to talk. Most men are not big communicators which is hard for most women who are. Everyone i know who is married this is their #1 complaint. He doesnt communicate with me.

    I agree with her on making kids keep their committments. I think this is v important.

  33. Camille says:

    Ugh. This chick. Geebus. 🙄

    Also she looks hilariously awful in those pics.

  34. Liana says:

    Don’t we all have to coax our men to talk ??? I think it’s in their DNA.

    I have to coax my husband to shut up. I love him, but man.

    Hey, at least she doesn’t call him “Christopher.”

  35. JenJen says:

    It’s not a British thing, sounds like he’s just not that into you, GOOP. It didn’t make me relate to you anymore at all, this “opening up”.

  36. d says:

    I actually like Gwyneth – that is, I like her in the movies I’ve seen, she doesn’t irritate me in publicity copy…I don’t care what she says or whatever. but the way she speaks about her husband reminds me of a couple of friends and the way they talked about their marriages and husbands before the marriage finally fell apart. Like just always making excuses for their partner, kind of in denial about things. I think Martin sounds like a jerk too. Like get over yourself, dude. I feel sorry for her actually. i just don’t think she’s happy in her marriage. my bet is she’d be happier as a single mom.

  37. Luckylilgem says:

    Love Gwen! Hope her marriage works put for her. She should’ve married Brad Pitt. They were a good match.

  38. LittleOat says:

    She looks SO much like Anna Torv in the second pic.

  39. Nikki says:

    I used to love Coldplay when they first came out, but Chris Martin has really become a self-absorbed prick, plus their music has become totally mainstream, unoriginal crap. I think Chris really wants Coldplay to be this cool, indie band and thinks public association with Gwyneth will take away any indie credibility from his band (not that they have any.) I absolutely think their marriage is highly dysfunctional and I think it’s only a matter of time before it ends.

  40. jayem says:

    OMG, that outfit! She could have saved it if she put on a bra and some different shoes…

  41. coucou says:

    That dress is hideous, and the color is just wrong, wrong, wrong…it washes her out completely…all blends into just one big tidal wave of bland…her botox is not bad, but she doesn’t look at all like herself, she looks like someone else, but i can’t remember her name…problem is that dress just emphasizes it, is HORRIBLE, who the hell wears a wife beater t-shirt and tutu to a freaking event? WTH?