Jessica Simpson’s beer ad: can vacant eyes still be bedroom eyes?

Extra! has Jessica Simpson’s new Stampede Lite Beer ad. The singer sits on some hay in the back of a pickup truck, her jacket open to reveal her bouncing cleavage, a white cowboy hat on her head. Simpson’s mouth is open in a kind of passive sex doll way, and her eyes have a vacant stare that suggest she’s ready for anything and will just lay there and take it. The beer is positioned to the lower right of the ad and it looks positively phallic, especially considering its placement relative to Simpson. I’ve seen worse beer ads, though, they’re pretty much the norm. There were billboards a few years ago that featured women in bikinis looking like they were the beer that seemed especially obnoxious.

Here’s what AdAge calls the most sexist beer ad ever – an ad by Heineken featuring female robots pulling kegs out of their stomachs. Jessica Simpson with her mouth agape and that wasted look in her eye is nothing compared to this, but we’ll have to see what she puts out for video ads:

80% of all beer in the US is consumed by men, with light beer brands more popular than regular beer.

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30 Responses to “Jessica Simpson’s beer ad: can vacant eyes still be bedroom eyes?”

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  1. lb says:

    Her lips look awful. Every photo I see of her she cannot close her mouth because her lips are so inflated. She is starting to look like a puffer fish with buck teeth. She looked way better before the eyebrow lift and restalyne.

  2. CinPin says:

    She kinda looks like Anna Nicole towards the end of her life. Except I think Anna was ALOT prettier. She really looks like she has nothing but 2 brain cells rattling around up there. Doesn’t look very sexy to me!

    Funny they have the word “smart” so big under such a dimwit.

  3. Orangejulius says:

    Ugh. The heineken ad is very offensive. Makes me think of that joke about men wanting women to turn into a six-pack and a couple of their best buddies in the morning.

    The expression on Chestica’s face is sort of vacant-baby which is probably what they were going for.

  4. chamalla says:

    I just said some relatively nice things about Jess in the other thread, but my impressions on this ad are thus:
    1. She’s about to sneeze.
    2. That hay must still smell like barn.
    3. Drinking this beer will make you sneeze and smell like barn.

  5. Codzilla says:

    Note to self: If you’re ever dying of thirst and Stampede beer is the only liquid within reach, head towards the light and hope your husband remembers that you didn’t want an open casket.

  6. paris herpes says:

    I think she can’t close her lips because of all the lip injections to inflate them. She looks about as sexy as the zit on my butt does.

  7. jaundicemachine says:

    Love the ironic use of the word “smart” in the ad. You can’t tell me these marketers don’t have a sense of humor . . .

  8. Snowblood says:

    @ Chamalla – ” … my impressions on this ad are thus:

    1. Sheโ€™s about to sneeze.
    2. That hay must still smell like barn.
    3. Drinking this beer will make you sneeze and smell like barn. ”

    ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† You’re spot on, she DOES look like she’s about to sneeze here! ๐Ÿ˜†

    and I want some of what Nan’s smoking today. ๐Ÿ™‚ Homegirl’s ROLLin’! ๐Ÿ˜†

  9. L says:

    She is not recognizable to me. What is so different? Her eyes are a different color, and her lips look fake. I don’t know, but if I had seen that ad without knowing it was her, it wouldn’t have occurred to me that that is Jessica Simpson.

  10. eatavag says:

    i think putting jessica simpson in an ad then using the word “smart” in your campaign is a stretch to say the least. jessica telling anyone to do anything smart is an oxymoron

  11. Nan says:

    Leave the brown eyes, Simpson. They are beautiful because of such a great shape. Browns eyes in their way are very exotic to the likes of a light-eyed individual. Why is she sporting blue eyes? I love her warm, chocolat-ey eyes. They do exude warmth & that’s why so many people love her…even if she is as dumb as a box of hair[Karen Walker interject].

  12. gg says:

    I think that’s just how she does ‘sexy’. That is the face of the dead starfish.

    Can’t see her eyes under the cemented-on black stuff on her eyes. Why do women do that – too lazy to remove it night after night? I guess she could also just get a little fringe from the notions department at the K-Mark and paste it on instead. That would save weeks of not washing her face to get that *desirable* crumbly cement texture so sought after by all the hootchies in hollywood.

    And while I’m at it, what a DUMB OUTFIT! That pink hat? With that skirt? ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜†
    Not sexy.

    Chamalla, you are cracking me up.

  13. Ron says:

    Somebody forgot to blow her all the way up and turn her on.

  14. Rio says:

    Years ago, somewhere (I want to say it was a Mystery Science Theatre 3000 episode…actually, I’m pretty damn certain it was), I heard the expression that a person “has the look of someone repeatedly slapped in the face with a fish”.
    I don’t know why, but looking at her expression that was the first quote that came to mind.

  15. ms.macattack says:

    Jessica looks great! I don’t care what you say about her lips and how offensive the ad may or may not be to you. There is no denying that she looks amazing. If I looked like her, I would pose on a stack of hay with my mouth open and cleavage out too!!

  16. kate says:

    she looks like a blow up doll.

  17. Aud says:

    “Chicken of the sea, so is it like, chicken? Or fish?” Something like that.

    As a pickup riding, hay slinging, horse breaking redneck, I wouldnt be caught DEAD dressed like that. Us country girls call that “fake @$$ hollyweird

  18. Le Petomane says:

    Uh wrong one Tiff! Try the other page! Love you!

  19. Le Petomane says:

    And oh, that is the repackaging of keystone light most likely …..the plus must be simpson I suppose.

  20. betch says:

    omg, what is her tongue doing?! This is the worst picture I’ve ever seen!! She looks like she’s ready to pass out after a long night of binge drinkin’. Ugh, She’s trying waaaaay to hard to get this country thing off the ground. I could never stand her voice. She sounds like she’s straining so hard when she tries hit high notes, and it sounds like shit.

  21. Diva says:

    I doubt she picked the picture.

    I’ve only seen blow up dolls on TV, but they look nothing like her… ya’ll must be more educated on the subject, lol.

  22. Whitey Fisk says:

    C’mon, am I the only one who thinks this is a great ad?!? Couldn’t have picked a better shot of a better subject for their concept.

  23. Marie says:

    I didn’t recognize her at first. It looks like she has a head cold and is having to breathe out of her mouth.

  24. geronimo says:

    Probably the least creative, most dated, dumbest, saddest, pointless beer ad ever.

    The Heiniken ad on the other hand… clever, funny, original.

  25. Shane says:

    Hardly looks like her.

  26. I choose me says:

    What an unflattering pic of a usually very pretty girl. She really does look like a blow up doll in that pic. NOT SEXY at all. Booo.

  27. Jen in Dallas says:

    1. tries too hard.
    2. mouth open does not equal “sexy”
    3. a blight on the state of Texas
    4. whore
    5. plastic
    6. breathing hard does not equal singing
    7. romo is stupider than i thought
    8. creepy pervy dad
    9. blabbing to Glamour magazine
    10. immature, like a 6th grade girl
    11. being born in Texas does not a “cowgirl” make
    12. i hate this bitch with a bleeding passion. i hope her career fails and that tony cheats on her.

  28. hello says:

    I like the Heineken ad. I think that it’s a pretty cool and original concept.

    The only way her expression could have been worse in this ad was if she took a page out of Miley Cyrus’s page and did the lip pucker thing.

    The person who chose this picture for the ad agency should be fired pronto. She is capable of doing decent print ads for product and looking…like she isn’t a zombie. Remember the Dessert ads? Cheesy, but she looked normal. I am assuming she hasn’t done anything to her face though.

  29. Jeanne Clark says:

    She’s so sexy when she’s stoned!

  30. Tracey says:

    She’s rich and you’re not. Doesn’t sound dumb to me.