Hot Guy SAGs: It’s a sad day when the Hamm Dong is empty-handed

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Our beloved Gosdong was not in attendance at this year’s SAG Awards, and we are the poorer for it. Although I love some Colin Firth, Firth isn’t enough to make up for the distinct lack of hot dudes at this year’s awards shows. While I’m always up for great fashion porn, the Hot Guy situation is what keeps me tuned in, year after year. And this year, it’s slim pickings. There was Jon Hamm… and that was the best we got. I love some Hamm Dong, but I’d like to see a menu too, you know? Also: The Hamm seemed to be flying solo last night….? His clingy girlfriend Jennifer Westfeldt wasn’t there to rub her Botox-face on him. I would send out a CODE RED HAMM DONG announcement, but I think she just didn’t come last night because she’s working.

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Andrew Garfield… is cute. His British accent is lovely. His hair is out of control. But when he presented with Justin Timberlake, Jesse Eisenberg and Armie Hammer, Andrew just seemed like he was still miffed at not getting an Oscar nomination. Like, he was trying to be cool about it, but he was feeling bitchy. It made me think less of him.

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Dennis Haysbert – man is fine, and he has a great voice. And he can wear the hell out of a suit. I wish he worked more.

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Geoffrey Rush and Colin Firth. I could live in a sandwich of these two men, I love them both so much.

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God, I just dislike Justin Timberlake on general principle at this point. Are there girls who think he’s sexy? Really?

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CB pointed out that James Franco seems to be rocking some kind of large bulge. Is it Franco Dong or is it just his keys? I will say this – I love when he shaves. He’s adorable when he shaves.

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I’m not sure what I think of Michael C. Hall’s ginger beard. It’s alarming, to say the least.

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Christian Bale, making the first steps towards shaving all of that junk off. I liked how gracious he was when he won. He’s growing on me.

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Taye Diggs in a bow tie! TAYE DIGGS IN A BOW TIE.

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Jesse Eisenberg, we really need to review your hair. You could be rather cute without all of the bangs and product and neurosis.

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I really liked Armie Hammer’s red carpet interview on E! He seems like a big kid, talking too loud and getting overly-excited that he’s hanging out with cool people. It’s sweet. I like when actors get excited about this stuff.

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Photos courtesy of WENN.

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25 Responses to “Hot Guy SAGs: It’s a sad day when the Hamm Dong is empty-handed”

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  1. brin says:

    Please, Kaiser, don’t let your love of Hamm completely take over your judgement. I like Hamm but Steve Buscemi was very deserving of his win.
    Totally agree with you on JT…he is overrated.

  2. mia girl says:

    I fell in love with Armie Hammer after that E! interview!

  3. Riley says:

    JT is a prick.

  4. InVain says:

    Bale’s acceptance was great.
    LOVED that the real Dicky made his way on stage, and LOVED that Bale was all about it.

    P.S. also LOVED me some Marky W.

  5. EdithP says:

    Dennis Haysbert will always be Cerrano to me (and then the President). Some fine looking men there, except for JT.

  6. anti says:

    Love that bow tie!

  7. padiddle says:

    I didn’t think AG was being bitch, he just seems like he always tries to be self depricating.

    Armie Hammer is adorable and so sweet, so not Hollywood, I hope he stays that way.

  8. LindyLou says:

    “Jesse Eisenberg, we really need to review your hair. You could be rather cute without all of the bangs and product and neurosis.”

    Agreed. It looks like he pulled the trucker hat off just before this picture was taken.

  9. jen34 says:

    James Franco looked great. He’s one of those guys, like Colin Farrell, that I don’t think is that good looking until he opens his mouth. Smart and hot.

  10. kelbear says:

    I hope Franco never brings the porn stache back.

  11. sapphire says:

    Bonus dong day! Thank you, Kaiser.

  12. Nanea says:

    Colin and Taye are pure eyecandy!

    Oh, and The Hamm appetizer… *blushes*

  13. Beth says:

    I just watched The Social Network last night, and I really liked it, but I could have done without Justin Timberlake.

  14. hoganbcmj says:

    JT looks like a young troll, not hot at all. Also, the Hamm is gorgeous but has the goofiest smile. Christian Bale, great actor, total douche. What is with that stupid ugly beard? Please tell me it’s for a role.

  15. Ally says:

    Product neurosis! Kaiser, you are the bitchy-smart pop culture commentator of my dreams.

  16. womanfromthenorth says:

    Jesse Eisenberg’s hair sucks! Looks like he’s in the middle of a olive oil treatment and forgot to wash it.

    And Mr. Franco… nice..suit.

    Thanks

  17. jenna says:

    I’ve been trying, for the longest time, to figure out what’s up with Jesse Eisenberg’s posture or body type or whatever. It finally hit me that it seems like the same way Ben Stiller stands and walks and looks…his posture…especially in the shoulders. Am I right or am I right?

  18. Tazina says:

    The Hamm should not wear black pants. They hide too much.

  19. so says:

    I saw a full body shot of James Franco in that photo and there is an obvious outline to the side of his trousers that is screamin’ for attention! It got mine. Hangin loose, Jimmy, hangin’ loose!

  20. truthSF says:

    No sane woman in her right mind would ever be attracted to Justin Timberfuckoff!!

  21. Camille says:

    The only men I like in this post are: Christian Bale, Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush. (Although Rush does nothing for me physically, he is an awesome actor)

    Hamm is so fug to me, his smile for starters is such a turn off. Yuck.

    *Runs out of thread quickly before the Hamm ‘dong’ lovers shank me* :lol:

  22. Crash2GO2 says:

    I’ve been in love with Dennis Haysbert for years. *le sigh*

  23. Emily says:

    I like when Franco shaves, too. When he’s got a moustache he looks too much like my dad when he was young.

  24. Stephanie says:

    Oh I am just in love with Jon Hamm. *sigh*

    Jesse Eisenberg. Bangs trauma.