Monica Bellucci: It’s “ridiculous” to expect Vincent Cassel’s fidelity


As you know, Monica Bellucci is one of my Forever Biscuits. I could very happily live the rest of my life in a deeply committed relationship with Monica, or Emma Thompson, or both. Alas, both of my top biscuits are taken – Emma is with Greg Wise (lucky bastard) and Monica is with French actor Vincent Cassel. Vincent and Monica have been married since 1999. They have two children together. And it sounds like they’re probably going to stay together too, because Monica has a very laissez faire approach to what I think of as “traditional” marital fidelity. It seems in Monica’s mind, she doesn’t really expect Vincent to be faithful to her if she’s not around for a while. What she does expect? “Loyalty” and “elegance”. Damn.

Monica Bellucci wouldn’t mind her husband being unfaithful if they were apart for a while. The 46-year-old actress – who has daughters Deva, six, and 10-month-old Leonie with spouse Vincent Cassel – values respect and loyalty more in a relationship than fidelity.

She said: “Passion you can feel for the worst man you ever met. But that has nothing to do with a deeper partnership. In such a one, passion stays, but more important is confidence, respect, knowing a man is not just loyal in a sex way, but that they will be there for you. That is more important than just fidelity.”

“It would be ridiculous to ask [fidelity] of him if I hadn’t been there for two months. You can’t ask such things as who has he been seeing, what has he been up to? It is more respectful and realistic to take the view that you’ll be with me when I see you.”

Ah, I say, discretion. She shakes her head. “No. I am talking about loyalty and, most important of all, elegance.” She repeats the word several times, explaining what she means. Elegance, for Bellucci, isn’t merely the cut of a suit, but a whole way of being in the world, of living in the present. This elegance is as French as a Gallic shrug, as Italian as a beautiful young girl on the back of a scooter zooming around Rome. It is about a passion for the moment, a sense that as long as everything is good when they are together, that they choose to be there and everything flows, then nothing else matters.

The brunette beauty insists she is still besotted with her husband, who she married in 1999, but admits there are times when they don’t get along. “I think he’s sexy. It’s important to go on thinking that about your husband. But Vincent is not a normal man. Sometimes I love him so much, sometimes I want to kill him.”

[From Monica’s fansite, The London Times, and IOL News]

I think many Americans view this as a more “European” view of marital fidelity, but it might even be more specific to Vincent and Monica’s two cultures – French and Italian – or even their joint profession, acting. Actor couples get used to being apart from each other for months at a time, and maybe Monica is just being realistic. Or maybe this is just what you have to expect when you marry a Frenchman? I don’t know. All I know is that I might have a shot with Vincent, right? And Monica too!




Photos courtesy of WENN.

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185 Responses to “Monica Bellucci: It’s “ridiculous” to expect Vincent Cassel’s fidelity”

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  1. brin says:

    Definitely a French/Italian thing. But why get married in the first place? How do you have respect and loyalty when your spouse cheats?

    Looks like they are bound together in that second pic…lol!

  2. Eve says:

    She’s being realistic. And I kinda see it the same way she does.

  3. malachais says:

    If that lifestyle makes both of them happy, then so be it. Personally, I would expect fidelity from my life partner, maintaing trust while having an open relationship seems pretty difficult.

  4. ERika says:

    he is so so hot. i think her attitude is very european.
    i can not be so laxed about my man being with another woman or woman. to each their own

  5. kai says:

    I think it’s kind of stupid to tie such things to nationality.

    Godd-mn, these two are beautiful.

  6. Rosanna says:

    The most outrageous thing in what she said is that she finds him sexy *barf*

    The rest I can understand although I can’t totally agree with her perspective.

  7. Flan says:

    Wow, my respect for her evaporated.

    What kind of moron are you if you broadcast this to the whole world? Women like that bring us all down.

  8. Funnylilou75 says:

    I am French and married to a French too! This has nothing to do with culture !!(the way you picture the french comes from the kings of France, not the people!) and I would kill my husband if he dares just have a drink with a girl!! so I expect fidelity from him very much!!

  9. embertine says:

    Exactly the sort of relationship I would like. Sex with someone else is only disloyal if you are breaking a promise. If you have agreed rules between yourselves that allow you both to have sex with other people, then you’re not cheating unless you break those rules.

    Wait, does this mean that I have a shot with Monica??? (Answer: no)

  10. Spaniard says:

    This is not an “european attitude” for Christ’s sake! if my husband dares to cheat we are done. Period

  11. Merry says:

    I agree, not a Italian/French thing. More of a Bellucci/Cassel thing.

  12. Eve says:

    @ Embertine (# 9):


  13. daria says:

    They asked her a question and she answered it, honestly which is refreshing. Opposed to “I adore him and we have such respect for each other,he has my back blah blah” Then they break up 1 month later after he is boning some chick with a swastika on her forehead. In Hollywood things go down differently, we all know that. They have been together for over 10 years, which is a lifetime in their world. Look at how he is looking at her in those pictures. I cannot say I feel the same way, I will cut a bitch! But, I respect her grace about the situation.

  14. Rita says:

    I certainly understand her attitude and I’m sure he appreciates it. However, sex, regardless of how instinctive and animalistic it is, is still intimate. Viewing sex as a neccessary bodily function like urinating or getting an ennama to relieve oneself is demeaning to intimacy with another.

    Discipline and the sacrifice of momentary personal pleasures are investments in an intimate relationship which solidify the bond and will carry one over troubled waters.


  15. N.D. says:

    I think it’s not so much her being italian (or him French) as her being geneticaly incapable of being insecure about herself. She’s a goddess and she owns it. He’s not going anywhere.

    Since they’ve managed to stay committed to each other for over 15 years (and make 2 beautifull daughters in the process) I say good for them.

    Forgot to add a link. Here’s a Cassel’s take on relationship. It’s in French.,vincent-cassel-les-femmes-sont-des-etres-divins,20178,383664,3

    “Couple is not a natural thing. Mostly because men are dogs.”

    “Jalousy is often provoked, counsiously or uncounsiously. We’re all capable of being discreet if we want to.”

  16. Funnylilou75 says:

    @Daria: they don’t live in Hollywood. they share they time between Paris &London mainly with a stay here and there in Roma and Rio de Janeiro!

    She cannot lie about it now that’s why she is being honest, he is a well known cheater in Paris ( Dog will be more appropriate as he cheats whenever he cans… I work in the Fashion industry and I heard more than a couple of stories about him!)

    I am so sad for her, if it was just an open marriage, I would not, but it’s more her waiting for him and suffering in between…

  17. beth says:

    im not french, nor am i italian, but ive been in denial over this about myself, too – this is the view i hold – it has never changed after all these years and it prolly never will. i don’t like it, but novelty-seeking is part of human nature, some more than others. sigh.

    i always guessed this was the view she held, given the very, very long leash she gave her husband, from the start. whatever floats your boat, you know.

  18. happygirl says:

    “It’s ‘ridiculous’ to expect Vincent Cassel’s fidelity”

    I think it’s ridiculous NOT to. My opinion, of course.

  19. trollydolly says:

    I’m not so sure it’s a “European” thing, my husband and I are European and that’s not considered the norm here, however I firmly believe every couple has to work out their own boundaries. If it suits them, fair enough. The only thing I wonder is that she never mentions if he’s ok with her taking a lover?

  20. N.D. says:

    @Funnylilou75 She’s been saying the same thing for many years, it’s not a new developement. I think she knew who he was when she agreed to marry him and did so with open eyes. Besides rumor has it she isn’t crying alone when they’re apart either. This “fidelity isn’t required” goes both ways with them. Or so I heard.

  21. Cletus says:

    Yeah, that’s fine with me, and I don’t feel like I have been “brought down” by what this particular woman expects/will accept in her relationship. She’s grown, he’s grown- whatever.

    That being said, what -I- expect and will accept in MY relationship is different, and that is also okay. I’m just saying.

    Also, he IS kind of sexy, in a totally bad-for-you, kind of demeaning kind of way.

  22. embertine says:

    What I find funny is that, statistically, well over half of the people here championing monogamous relationships have cheated on a partner at some point.

  23. Violet says:

    does that mean monica is also boinking around when she’s not with him? doesn’t sound like it does it?

  24. God, how I wish I was so elegant about such matters, so chic and enigmatic, a whisper of a seductive smile about my lips as I huskily muttered those words that would make a million men think I was irresistible.. but in reality I am a clunky Scottish ham fisted brute of a woman who would air-kick her partner in the stones with the force of a battering ram as soon as he started with his shite. There would be nothing elegant about it whatsoever, maybe I would leave delicately, tip toe out or something, leave a rose on him as a calling card, does that count as elegance? HA.

  25. Funnylilou75 says:

    @N.D: it does make more sens then! so it’s just an arrangement between 2 grown up! even if it’s not my cup of tea , every couple hat it own rules.. I was more concerned by her suffering, if not and if it works their rule! their life!

  26. daria says:

    I didn’t mean “Hollywood” like they live there. Famous couples live all over. I meant that they are both famous in their own right and have careers in the spotlight.

  27. Erin says:

    Boo. I think that is stupid as hell, and the sort of things someone says when they have hitched their wagon to a skeez…they have to justify their bologne somehow.

  28. k says:

    @Funnylilou75: That’s interesting. I’m glad to hear all of the rumors I read are not true regarding the French.

    This philosophy may work for Bellucci while she’s still got her looks and health, but wait ten years and see what she says when she is made aware of Cassell traipsing around with a 20-yr-old. Right now, she correctly feels she’s still got game, but the scales will tilt against her in time, as they do for most women.

    I always find it’s the ones who haven’t experienced anything traumatic regarding their health (especially in the lady-bit area)are the most comfortable with this laissez-faire attitude.

  29. WillyNilly says:

    “What kind of moron are you if you broadcast this to the whole world? Women like that bring us all down. ”

    Please speak for yourself.

  30. OV says:

    @ Rita, agree verbatim with you!

  31. Zelda says:

    I DO NOT think monogamy is the natural long-term state for humans. Nothing in science suggests it. And as a apecies, our sexual urges are some of our most powerful.

    So if they are going to be honest about it, that’s awesome and good for them for accepting human nature for what it is.

    And on the flip side, I think the fact that it is “unnatural” is what makes monogamy especially meaningful and beautiful for those who choose to practice it.

    It’s your relationship. Whatever makes you sane at the end of the day…

  32. Theuth says:

    My take: it’s not an European view of marriage, is what they think is better for them. They are married, they have two daughters and careers and a very solid relationship which doesn’t fall for a lover or two. If it works for them, good to know, it’s better than an horrible marriage or a temporary passion who doesn’t last a few weeks and leaves behind only problems.
    I really hope they will never divorce, I would be crashed ;_;

  33. Becca says:

    why does anyone find this man attractive? seriously? can someone explain which of his features are even remotely appealing?

  34. Gerry says:

    70 % of people cheat, but how many admit?

    The hypocrisy is the only problem here.

  35. gabs says:

    I wish I could be so evolved. Well as long as it works for them oh well. I prefer Monica’s honest view on their open marriage instead of Victoria Beckhams constant denial of hers

  36. bite me says:

    hmmm, innersting, whatever works for them, i guess

  37. Jayna says:

    In America, there’s tons of cheating or passes made. I worked in a male-dominated profession and was stunned at all the married men making passes or in affairs with female co-workers.

    But here’s the problem with accepting infidelity and thinking it won’t hurt your marriage. Not all will be casual. They will meet someone they are so infatuated with that the affair lasts longer and affects how he sees you or he falls madly in love eventually with one of them and leaves the wife. I’ve seen some marriages last with husbands who cheat but love being married, too, but much more that don’t last and they move on to someone they were in an affair with. Usually, they cheat during the marriage, but leave when the children are older, like out of high school or close.

  38. monsley says:

    I want to live in the crazy sexy cheesy imagined Europe, not the child rapist protector one 🙁

  39. orion70 says:

    “men are dogs” sounds like a nice fallback excuse for your behavior. Why bother to rise above yourself or have any self-control, after all?

    People seem to do this a lot when it comes to men as if it is physically impossible to go a few weeks (or as she notes, two months) without sex. And why it is off-limits for her to ask who he has been with? She must trust him an awful lot, seeing as how he has no control over his animalistic instincts, would he bother to pause long enough to put on a condom?

    But whatever works for them, I suppose.

  40. embertine says:

    Jayna, I agree, and don’t think anyone should get into an open relationship lightly.

    However, I guess the point to make is that, for most people, they are going to cheat at some point anyway. They may fall in love with someone else and leave anyway.

    Having a nominally closed relationship where they just sneak around behind your back doesn’t reduce that, it just makes it that much more hurtful when all the dirty laundry comes out.

  41. Jezi says:

    The worst part about cheating is the lying, if she doesn’t expect fidelity then she won’t be hurt. It’s their marriage and they make it work for them. She doesn’t seem to be upset about it, she seems realistic about it.

  42. jen34 says:

    She either isn’t completely in love with him or she really likes to stray. I’m betting it’s the latter.

  43. Shay says:

    I come from a European background and to attribute her view to a European cultural standard is stereotyping.
    Maybe she has low self esteem or something. He does look like an alien. Like ETs uncle.

  44. GeekChic says:

    When I was in undergrad I knew a bunch of French guys that were here on a student visa. They were all fairly good-looking and quite rich, and every single one of them asked me out multiple times (to the point of one of them sending me huge bouquets of flowers daily for a while — and this was one of them that I hadn’t even met, he had only seen me in passing going into my apartment!). One invited me on a cruise (his parents owned a cruise line) and another invited me to his family’s “small” chateau in France. A dream come true, right?

    I turned every single one of them down. I knew them too well. I knew that their idea of fidelity meant that they faithfully come home to you every night after they have shagged their 10 mistresses. I talked about this to my French professor and he said this was a very common attitude amongst French men, although not one he himself held as his wife would have murdered him.

    Certainly not every French man is like Cassel (such as my professor), but I think it’s safe to say that there are a few who are like him. I guess Monica’s just being realistic, but it also seems kind of… sad. I guess if it works for them, then more power to them, right?

  45. RHONYC says:

    oh course she doesn’t expect fidelity from him when she’s away…cause she’d be with me! 😆

    remember, kaiser…monica’s MY ‘imaginary-lesbian-wife-from-another-life’ for like 10 yrs now, and don’t you forget it!

    you keep your imaginary mitts off, you! 😈 lol

    but, seriously…if that works for her than great. i get it.
    also, i think if he cheats it would be with a man…there ain’t no getting better after bellucci. sorry. it’s science. 🙂

    i also can vouch for that feeling of “Sometimes I love him so much, sometimes I want to kill him.” …every 28 days in fact. 🙁

  46. Dannii says:

    ITA Rita!

  47. grace says:

    I can’t see the appeal of these two.

  48. Sue says:

    What is the point of getting married then and what about if he fathers another child will she be ok with that too?

  49. Dannii says:

    also, that was my question-does it work both ways? because many different cultures keep going on about how men are mean to spead their seed or some other bs but expect women to stay virginal/loyal to one man. this is done on the premise that these are just how man and women are rather than on the fact these are social constructs which is what it is!

  50. Praise St. Angie! says:

    Rita, eloquent as always.

    well said, and I agree.

  51. Bamafresh says:

    I can’t say I’d handle it the same way, but I can kinda see what she’s saying. Plus they’re Euro and the attitude is a little different. But I think her confidence in the strength of her relationship and the fact that she’s super hot might be what makes someone not cheat. If I said that, my husband (who is Euro) would be so shocked and intrigued (I am not Euro) that he may be too confused to cheat and just give me constant side-eye.

  52. machiavelli says:

    When is the next Hot Girl Friday?

  53. samab says:

    i kind of envy her way to see things ,if that’s true. I would go crazy instead but actors and actresses live in a different way ,apparently.

  54. dorothy says:

    She’s realistic. Monogomy is not natural for anyone….we just “force it” to be natural.

  55. Rose says:

    It’s got nothing do do with them being “European’ I’m European and expect fidelity AND respect in my marriage. That said, Monica is as stupid as they come, ever heard her being interviewed in Italian? Talk about vapid. I have walked through deeper puddles.

  56. the_blonde_one says:

    Dear Santa:
    I’m getting in my wish list early this year, I have been and will continue to be a good girl in the year 2011.
    I would like a dirty nasty raw video of those two having sex. please?

  57. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Rita, “Discipline and the sacrifice of momentary personal pleasures are investments in an intimate relationship which solidify the bond and will carry one over troubled waters.”

    couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Also, i’ve lost quite a bit of respect for her and Cassel. Why would the both of them put this in print? I doubt this information will be helpful to their daughters when they grow up and read this drivel. Both of their interviews condone male sexual freedom ONLY(with Cassel making it appear as though men have no self control). Way to instill unhealthy gender biases in your daughters.

  58. Devon says:

    No comment on the fidelity thing as it’s their marriage and they can do whatever the hell they want. Oh, whoops! That was a comment! (Blame it on the wine from last night)

    Vincent Cassel is one hot motherfucker.

  59. Melanie says:

    It is so refreshing to hear how most hollyweird relationships really are.

  60. Eleonor says:

    I don’t think this is a “European way to marriage”, I see this as their way to marriage. She knows her husband is one of the hottest men on earth, she knows his work and she accepts/understand infidelities, I think she has a sort of Victoria Beckham attitude.

  61. Rita says:


    I understand your point which is we are all animals but consider the kingdom.

    Swans: Mate for life and raise their brood. (Colin Firth, Celine Dion, et al)

    Baboons: Spend all day with their red asses up in the air while the males see each day as hump day. (John Travolta, Jessie James)

    Elk: Males keep the cows in close proximity and defend their harem during the rut. (Jack Nicholson, Ryan Phillippe)

    Salmon: After weeks of fighting the tides and currents of life to find a quiet pond just outside Fargo, explode in a Caligulan orgy before dying in the wilderness of anonymity. (Charlie Sheen after a brick of blow)

  62. N.D. says:

    @the_blonde_one may be you’ll get your wish next year. They’re going to film another movie together – love story that happens during Carnaval in Rio. Cassel promised lots of sex and music in it 🙂

  63. Eve says:

    That said, Monica is as stupid as they come, ever heard her being interviewed in Italian? Talk about vapid.

    @ Rose:

    I hope you’re not calling others here (who somewhat see relationships the way she does) stupid too. I sure am not.

    She may sound stupid in other interviews (according to you), but her stance on her own relationship with Cassel seems fine, reasonable and realistic to me — and no, I don’t think that’s because she has a low self-esteem like someone above said.

  64. lola lola3 says:

    She is so gorgeous. Whatever makes her happy.

  65. AveryJessup says:

    @GeekChic and @Rita — Agreed.

    To each their own but in the broader social scope…

    I don’t like how women seem to keep lowering their standards for men. It’s the same “boys will be boys” argument that’s an insult to men and women. It excuses men for every indiscretion because of their biology. And its total BS.

    (Note: I don’t know anything about the Monica/Vincent thing, so that’s a general comment)

  66. the_blonde_one says:

    well GREAT!!!
    except now I have to actually be good this year. eek

  67. Nash says:

    Being French I can say that this has nothing to do with being European -this is not European norm- I personaly would never accept something like that. To me, this has to do with Monica knowing her husband works in an industry in which there is a lot of ‘everybody sleeping with everybody’ and most likely groupies are throwing themselves at him. Thinking he will never give in is pretty much idealistic, no matter how gorgeous she may be. She KNOWS this and has accepted it completely, because of being in love and she is secure about being his main woman, the one he’ll always return to that’s what she’s defining as loyalty and since he is (according to her) he can go and play.
    And I wouldn’t be surprised if she was straying from time to time too.

  68. Sarah says:

    I love it! Maybe more marriages would last if more people had an open view on it like she does.

  69. Eve says:

    I don’t think this have to do with “lowering” standards either. Because I see that here where I live (women who will take any crap from men because they fear to be alone) and it is nothing like their marriage (Monica e Cassel’s). People all around the world are different and will see things differently (even those who live by the same laws and culture)! The thing about subjects that cause controversy that really pisses me off is that the moment you state your opinion it becomes a “me versus you” battle. You can make a point without indirectly insulting others, you know…

    I repeat: I somewhat agree with her, would have a relationship like that (because I want my freedom too — so it would have to work two ways if I was in such relationship), I don’t think I have a low self-esteem, I’m not stupid and I don’t think I’m better than those who do not see it the way I do.

    I also think I could be in an “exclusive” relationship too, but the moment it started not working for me, I’d be open about it, tell the partner, end it (if it’d be the case) and move on.

  70. margaritachum says:

    i’m european and it’s not a cultural thing. is a couple thing.
    every couple has it’s own rules and i’m just fine with it.

    @No Cycling No Horses hahaha i pictured that whole scene and i laughed my @ss off.

  71. Minx2 says:

    I completely understand her point of view and I don’t think it comes from low self-esteem. After so many years together, a marriage becomes about other things: respect, loyalty, having a past together, the value of having a whole home for the kids and stability for everyone. Sex stops being the main thing between the couple.. but everyone has needs. Some bigger, some smaller. I think that those with bigger needs will be looking to fulfill them outside of marriage, which does not have to mean the end of the world if the couple has an understanding. As long as nobody gets to be humiliated by flaunting a relationship and the couple mutually agrees to allow each other some extra space, it’s fine. It’s nobody’s but their business, after all.

  72. original kate says:

    if it works for them, okay. but it would not work for me. as long as everyone knows what’s happening, meh. i don’t feel insulted as a woman or whatever.

  73. N.D. says:

    @Rita, “Discipline and the sacrifice of momentary personal pleasures are investments in an intimate relationship which solidify the bond and will carry one over troubled waters.”

    On the other hand, the more pressure you put on yourselves in order to live up to some romantic ideal the more chances there are that your relatioship will get broken eventually. It’s important to be realistic about yourself and the one you love. As they say, God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.

    Also, sure sex could be a way to express and share you love and intimacy but it could be just sex as well. And you can have it one way with one person and the other with some other person. Or sometimes with that same person too because when you’ve been together for 15 years like Vincent and Monica you can not be that intense every single time. Not in bed not anywhere else.

  74. Caitlin says:

    Wow, I find Monica’s comments very sad…it’s like she’s expecting the worst in order to not be dissapointed. Shame coz she’s a beautiful woman and talented actress who any man would be a fool to cheat on! What is the point of committing your life to someone if you only expect them to screw around on you? Two adults should be mature enough to supress their ‘urges’. Humans are by nature very jealous and even if both say they’re cool with this arrangement, one is probably bluffing.

  75. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @ND, “when you’ve been together for 15 years like Vincent and Monica you can not be that intense every single time.”

    I beg to differ, I started dating my husband when I was 16 years old (15 years ago) and the sex is still very intense. Sometimes intensely loving, intensely angry, intensely lustful, but it’s always intense. I’m still waiting for that day where (as you and others have said) we lose that intensity.

  76. TeeTee says:

    I LOVE it, it works for them..

    she is gorgeous!!

  77. sapphire says:

    It’s what THEY consider a marriage. And I think I understand her definition of elegance-they cheat but aren’t rude to each other or rub the other’s noses in it.

    Not for me. And I don’t think it’s a cultural issue-unless we define celebrity as a culture. Or is that an oxymoron?

  78. SistaSoFine says:

    I don’t think her comments have anything to do with her profession or nationality. That’s just how two people have decided to handle their relationship. Consenting adults are allowed to make up our own rules. Period.

  79. Turquoise Blue says:

    What orion70 said. Do what you want in your marriage, but please don’t blame the Y chromosome for your being an asshat. Just being male does not give you license to act like an animal. The stereotype of the man who just can’t control himself is the reason why rapists get off easier than they should.

  80. gobo says:

    Mmmm, not so much a European thing, more of a French/Italian thing. From my time in France and my friends living in Italy I hear that this is not necessarily a common attitude but certainly not an unusual one either.

  81. AveryJessup says:


    Was that directed at me? It wasn’t an insult to those who choose to have a less-than-monogamous lifestyle. I’m just saying its a trend that women seem to expect less and less. It’s just one factor in a host of factors, and like I said, it was a general comment.

    Besides this is ALL just speculation. None of us actually know these two, so their happiness of lack of it is just a guessing game.

  82. Lisa Turtle says:


    First, Congrats!
    What a hit! Over 80 comments and its not the unholy Bermuda Triangle of Gossip!

    Second, I totally subscribe to your final view: It’s cultural. French & Italian cultures are notoriously misogynistic and part of that misogyny is the “expectation” of male infidelity. Look no further than the Italian Prime Minister Burlesconi, his romantic liasons would scandalize the US electorate, however the Italians seem amused.

  83. devilgirl says:

    @Becca- I have wondered that myself time and again. I find him to be a very unattractive man, and have never, nor will I ever, understand his appeal.

  84. moi says:

    good, now I have a shot at him too. yum.

  85. beth says:

    This, at the end of the day it just comes down to this:

    “I completely understand her point of view and I don’t think it comes from low self-esteem. After so many years together, a marriage becomes about other things: respect, loyalty, having a past together, the value of having a whole home for the kids and stability for everyone. Sex stops being the main thing between the couple.. but everyone has needs. Some bigger, some smaller. I think that those with bigger needs will be looking to fulfill them outside of marriage, which does not have to mean the end of the world if the couple has an understanding. As long as nobody gets to be humiliated by flaunting a relationship and the couple mutually agrees to allow each other some extra space, it’s fine. It’s nobody’s but their business, after all.”

  86. N.D. says:

    @MorticiansDoItDead Good for you, but most people can’t stay always ready and hot for their SO, not because the love is gone but just because they’re humans, their emotions and libidos ain’t always in top form and in perfect sync with each other. There are bound to be bad days even if they’d be vastly outnumbered by good ones.

  87. Eve says:

    @ AveryJessup:

    My comment wasn’t directed at you alone — I wasn’t singling you out since you’re not the only one who think that way. More like a general thought on those who are criticizing Monica (and those who see her point) because the way she chose to live her life is different than theirs. Some people here are basically saying that she’s either lying (to others and to herself), trying to save her face or/and has a low self-esteem. Really? It’s not possible that she may be telling the truth and that she’s happy the way she lives her life? They’re not committing any crime, as far as I know. I will judge someone else’s private/sex life if it involves a crime, if it doesn’t, I don’t care that much (as to say my choices are better than theirs or that because they live like that she must be subservient and stupid).

    About your comment # 81, I don’t think it’s a matter of expecting less and less, but the fact that people have their own ideas about what is lack of respect and what is not. Apparently they have some sort of an agreement, it seems to have been working for them so I find annoying that people, for not agreeing with her life style, are calling her names or assuming aspects about her personality that may not be true.

  88. sasa says:

    I expect fidelity from my partner but if it works for them I don’t care.

    He’s ugly sexy. She is beautiful but I find her totally unexciting, always the same expression on her face.

  89. Theuth says:

    @Lisa: we Italians are NOT AMUSED by that fool dwarf (in fact, many people would be very glad if he just leaves and spends the rest of his days in jail), and infidelity IS NOT expected in relationship. I think here in Italy there is an higher tolerance about cheating (both male AND female), not because of the Church but because most knows that marriage is not only sex, but the start point for a family (of any kind): if there are mistakes, they try to resolve them in the best way possible.
    And again…every relationship is different. If Monica and Vincent are fine with this agreement, are still “partners” and their family isn’t crashed, we can’t judge: besides, I’ve heard that this works both ways, and Monica has her lovers, too. So, I don’t think is a mysoginist way of thinking.

  90. Runs with Scissors says:

    Introduce the idiot to his own right hand ffs.

    Hmmm, she just had a baby, me thinks the douche was off boning randoms while she was still healing and nursing his child.

    This isn’t ‘elegance,’ this is her being a well-trained bi*ch who keeps her yap shut in order to keep him around.

    Now if she’s off doing the same, then that’s another story. If she’s off boinking other people then it’s plausible this is an equitable relationship. But I suspect she’s got more respect for her children and herself and would say, ‘oh, but I’m not interested.’ That should earn her the pat on the head she’s looking for.

    Wonder how often she gets tested for std’s in this miraculous relationship? Sad.

  91. AveryJessup says:


    I think this wouldn’t be rubbing people the wrong way so much if she said she also can have lovers, but this interview frames it as just his privilege.

    I see what you’re saying. Sometimes assumptions can go too far, but I think that is just the nature of a celeb gossip site. Some people judge Emma Watson for dropping out of school, some judge Jessica Biel for being clingy and so forth. It always comes down to – we just don’t know. Maybe sex lives should be sacred, but she mentioned it in an interview, so in celeb-gossip-logic, its fair game to speculate.

    “For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn” – Jane Austen

  92. rerun delaney says:

    so i have a shot?! AWESOME. if this really works for her, great. but that he disrespects that much hotness…

  93. gee says:

    I am French and Italian.. I have to say, I don’t have one family member who supports this lifestyle. Cheating is not to be tolerated. I think you’re thinking of a romanticized stereo type where men smoke cigarettes with whispy little mustaches and women wear bustiers. Unfortunately, that’s not so much reality in France/Italia.

  94. Newbie says:

    Still laughing @ No Cycling No Horses.
    This has always made me curious. I’ve known several couples throughout the years that had an open relationship. They had certain rules about it, and I’m sure all of them perceived the entire thing to be “elegant”. None of them lasted. I would say that the duration of the relationship had nothing to do with cheating or the “open” deal. Yes, I might say that. If I didn’t know for a fact that it most certainly did. I agree that sex can be casual, and just about sex. Sure. But as someone above mentioned, eventually when you sleep around, it’s very likely that you’ll develop feelings toward someone else. More than just the empty sex, I’ve found that it’s all too easy for two people to become caught up in each other, too. And then people really want to leave their spouse, because it becomes easier to see how someone else is completely better for them in every other way besides the fresh lay. I’m only saying I don’t see the logic in it. If you’ve got such an outlook, it might be better to stay un-married. Such an arrangement simply smacks of tax benefits, and nothing more. Eventually you’ll find someone better anyway.

  95. Eve says:

    @ AveryJessup:

    But then there would have been an even worse backlash for her, don’t you think? And I’m ok with assuming about celebrities’s lives as long as the opinion doesn’t have some hidden jab at other posters.

    My point is: you (generally speaking) can say you disagree with her choices without implying that your point of view is the right one — somewhat I felt insulted when a poster called her stupid (once I had previously posted I had a similar idea about relationships) because it felt like he/she was calling me stupid by association. Belluci is not telling people to live the way she does, she’s talking about what suits her own life — you (again, generally speaking) can call her anything, but that she’s dumb because of this agreement is simply not fair.

  96. the original bellaluna says:

    Say what you will, the look he’s giving her in that last pic says it all.

  97. Anti-icon says:

    This sounds like the talk of a couple who has experienced infidelity and then agreed to stay together with an open relationship. This rarely works. But good for them for talking about it; no one ever does, and it’s always good to have a frame of reference. I guess. (Love that demands this degree of freedom/variety is a terrible form of selfishness, in my opinion, as I think it is much more common to desire monogamy, and to honestly strive for it. I think she’s using the word “elegance” to mean: don’t tell me about your “indiscretions” because they hurt too much. How can that be love?

  98. spinner says:

    I have recently become aware of a new movement among men. It is called The Hot Wife Club. In this particular scenario the wife can do whatever she pleases & have as many boyfriends as she wants. Meanwhile the husband is the completely faithful one & can only hope to hear his wife’s stories or be able to listen or watch. This, supposedly, is very exciting for some men. The Hot Wives call their men cucky. One of my close girlfriends is involved in this & she is having a ball.
    Go figure.

  99. AveryJessup says:

    @Eve- not from me, she wouldn’t have gotten a worse backlash.

    But not all the posters here who are doubting how well that works, think she is stupid. In my own limited experience, I just never see it work. Not to say that it can’t.

  100. Eve says:

    @ AveryJessup:

    Not from me either, but you know how things usually go.

  101. bagladey says:

    March 16th, 2011 at 9:11 am “I wish I could be so evolved. Well as long as it works for them oh well.”

    These are my feelings also; but when I hear women speak with such bravado about the acceptance of a spouse’s possible infidelity I always wonder if they really mean it.

  102. JuJuBee says:

    Kudos to Monica for being honest about what she wants and expects. Of course the vast majority are gasping and cluthing their pearls because the very thought of it seems blasphemous. Who cares? Not once in the quote did it say that she believes everyone should live like this and women are stupid for expecting fidelity. Nope, she was asked a question and spoke for herself. Just like everyone on this board has an opinion on what they expect in a marriage. At least give Monica the same benefit. Just because you don’t understand it, doesn’t make it wrong. At the end of the day, you make your own rules and live by them.

  103. mymy says:

    @No Cycling No Horses:

    Thanks for the belly laugh. So funny
    Unfortunately this Irish gal concurs.
    Oh how I wish for an ounce of “elegance”

  104. Wif says:

    What bothers me about what she said was the “ask no questions” attitude. If a couple wants to be open, so be it. But I would be seriously, seriously concerned about what STD gets brought home. If I’m going to sleep with someone, I want to know that’s it’s safe, especially with my husband.

  105. Anastasia says:

    I hope to God she makes him wear condoms, at least. Sheesh.

  106. normades says:

    @ Funnylilou75: So true this is not a “French thing”. This is a lifestyle choice. I am married to a loyal Frenchman and all my French gfriends expect fidelity from their parters.

    @Rita: Very well said

    @Kaiser: I used to live near Vincent in the Menilmontant area of Paris. You would see him looking very casual and skateboarding in the neighborhood. We NEVER saw Monica though.

    He is also often seen in the company of very attractive women when out and about in Paris.

  107. Mshuffleupagus says:

    I dated a French dude once. Literally looked at every woman in sight. I wanted to punch his nuts every 3-5 seconds. God bless that dumb b*tch.

  108. Eve says:

    I hope to God she makes him wear condoms, at least. Sheesh.

    And I wish all women — in “open” relationships or not — did the same. Call me a cynical (I don’t mind that because most of the time I am one) but I don’t think you can guarantee a partner won’t have sex outside marriage/relationship. It worries me to see women giving up condoms because they and their boyfriends decided to be “exclusive”. A bit risky, if you ask me.

  109. Amy says:

    This is not just a European thing. There are plenty of American guys out there who don’t consider cheating wrong and have a “laissez-faire” attitude to it as well. My dad is French and I know for a fact he never cheated on my (American) mother–he is just too socially awkward around other women! Not the norm.

  110. Conando says:

    I love them together and appreciate her honesty and candor. As long as they both practice safe sex, what’s the big deal with how they choose to conduct their relationship?

  111. N.D. says:

    @ Wif “What bothers me about what she said was the “ask no questions” attitude. If a couple wants to be open, so be it. But I would be seriously, seriously concerned about what STD gets brought home. If I’m going to sleep with someone, I want to know that’s it’s safe, especially with my husband.”

    The only way to make sure your partner fucks the right people the right way is to be holdng candle to them, asking questions won’t help there at all.

    You either trust their judgement or you don’t (in that case you should leave or use condom with them no matter how closed your relationship officialy is because as Eve has pointed out non-exclusiveness happens even when it wasn’t authorized)

  112. sparkle587 says:

    My husband is Italian and he certainly does not subscribe to this view of marriage and nor do I. Though I think he would subscribe to it if Monica Belluci was on offer . . . .

  113. samihami says:

    Wow. I really pity this woman. She obviously has no self respect at all. I would never, ever tolerate infidelity under any circumstances, and neither would my husband. So what if they are apart for a couple of months? It’s not going to kill him to go without sex when they are apart-heck, that just makes the reunion that much hotter.

    Also, I would find it hard to believe that someone so physically unattractive would be able to get that many women into bed, anyway. That man is just not very well put together.

  114. esblondie says:

    @ No Cycling No Horses:

    “but in reality I am a clunky Scottish ham fisted brute of a woman who would air-kick her partner in the stones with the force of a battering ram as soon as he started with his shite.”

    MAN, i got a laugh out of that…and I agree with you 100%. I hate to admit this, but sadly I can say I’ve been on all ends of a cheating situation and it sucks from every side. It’s just not worth it, and if you’re really in love and want to be with, be loyal, and respect your partner, you just don’t stray. Period.

  115. dahlia1947 says:

    Sounds to me like she “settled.” And I find that very sad since she is such a beautiful woman and she deserves to be with a guy who is 110% faithful and he should treat her like SHE IS HIS ONE AND ONLY!! She should be treated that way at all times!

    That’s what I think anyway.

  116. dahlia1947 says:

    And it sounds like she has devalued herself. So she disappoints me a little in that respect. I mean he is not all that great looking! So I will say that she definitely married DOWN!!

  117. candy says:

    I have a lot of respect for what I see as being a European mindset. It’s allowed and expected of men to have mistresses, in a very old world kind of way. Maybe this way of thinking is only for the elite but the idea that a man loves his family enough to not break it up due to physical needs is in itself charming, respectful and dare I say loyal. I don’t understand a person’s need to ‘own’ another. This attitude has completely ruined society as a whole with divorces, broken families, screwed up children. You people and your so-called ‘high standards’ of behavior would rather tear apart your families than work on your relationships that you obviously got into for reasons other than love.

  118. benny says:

    The vibe I get (and this isn’t based on anything but my own speculation) is that she does the same thing. Being so beautiful and apart from her husband for long periods, I’m sure SHE has strayed too. But then she decides that her husband is the one she always comes home too. And so, to me, she’s just giving him the same freedom to play around when she’s gone. Not my cup of tea, but if it works for them . . .

  119. Gillian says:

    I do not think that human beings are necessarily naturally inclined towards sexual monogamy. However, I do think that we are all somehow naturally programed to seek out lasting companionship and emotional intimacy that can really only be achieved with one person — basically emotional monogamy.
    For most of us, myself included, the only way to preserve that emotional monogamy is by not betraying the trust and love of our partner with sexual infidelity. But I do think that there are people who are capable of seperating the two. If it works for them, then I don’t think there’s anything particularly wrong with it. Unfortunately, I think there are very few people for whom this arrangement actually suits, and many more trying to convince themselves of that.

  120. Myra says:

    What’s funny is that being away for a while is 2 MONTHS. It IS sad if you can’t expect him to wait 2 months for you.

    It’s one thing to say you’re okay with an open relationship, it’s another to say that you accept that your husband doesn’t have much impulse control.

    I think it does look bad, because it can make women think they should settle when they probably don’t want to(not that she’s a role model or anything, but she most likely can influence since she’s considered to be beautiful). Look at Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake. Although, at least it’s actually believable that Cassel is in love with Monica.

  121. Kelly says:

    I agree, and that’s how we live our life. It all depends on the importance you attach to physical ‘fidelity’, whatever that means. Because if you’re looking and wanting, you might as well be doing. The effects are the same in the end.

    Maybe some people are better at not wanting, pretending they don’t want, or trying not to, but that just seems dishonest and entropic to moi. if you don’t have honesty, what do you have?

    Nice one, Monica. Props for coming out.

  122. Rita says:

    Just one last thought on this thread. Marriage is not an invention of men, it’s an invention of women.

  123. malina says:

    I wonder if…

    it works both ways?

    I’m sure it does. And this is Monica smart way of telling us that she cheats when she’s away working on a movie ;).

  124. Henriette says:

    Well, this isn’t a model of marriage that would work for me. And I’ve seen a lot of marriages (some French, some not) where they think this will work but at some point, one of the partners falls in love with someone they’re boinking on the side and it all falls apart.

    But, let’s say I was married to a guy and had a few children with him, and he cheated on me – often – but I knew he loved me and would always be supportive of me and we had an overall great life together. Is it better for the children, and even for me, if we split and the kids spend every weekend with dad and his latest 22 year-old slut-of-the-moment or is it best if I just accept, occasionally cheat so that I don’t feel like a “wronged wife” and enjoy what we have?

    Is fidelity “natural?” Perhaps not. But neither is giving money to charity to help total strangers, or getting up every day to work at an office to pay off a mortgage or wearning high heels. We accept many “unnatural” constraints on our lives.

  125. MorticiansDoItDeader says:

    @Candy “You people and your so-called ‘high standards’ of behavior would rather tear apart your families than work on your relationships that you obviously got into for reasons other than love.”

    I entered into a marriage of mutual love and respect. However, we’ve both made it clear that infidelity is a deal breaker. If one of us was unfaithful, i’d much rather end it then stay in a marriage where there was no longer trust or
    respect. I don’t think I would be the best mother I could be if I was unhappy but sticking it out for the kids (and I think my husband would concur). Sounds like a pretty miserable existence.

  126. geekychic says:

    i’m an european (although not french or italian, but i do live next to Italy);i don’t think so. this is not a “european” thing.
    i consider myself liberal, because i don’t mind anyone living how they want,as long they don’t harm anyone else. the same with the fidelity and open marriage issue. but i’d never, ever stay in a relationship where one side is cheating, no matter how you name it. Mr. The and me have something i can’t get anywhere else, and in respecting that and because of the fact that i love him-i would never wave from him.
    but to each it’s own.
    just…-no, it’s not an european thing.

  127. lulu says:

    The majority of women are ball-busters leaving men feeling less than which is why they sneak around behind their significant others back getting their needs met elsewhere. Unbeknownst to the women of course, who swear their men are faithful. Yeah right. Men and women are different physiologically speaking and have different needs at different times in their lives. Only a few rare people are able to fully understand love and forgiveness to the extent that they accept their partner’s unconditionally. It appears to be the case with Monica and Vincent. A beautiful and rare couple in love with each other for all the right reasons. May they continue to be blessed with peace in their lives and the lives of their children.

  128. Cleo says:

    Well, Lady Gaga is Italian American and she showed us what she would do if Eric Northman even LOOKED at some German model/servant/pet.

  129. Kiska says:

    I haven’t read all the comments on here so bear with me if I’ve repeated something. I’ve heard that they have an open marriage. So what I understand if they both can have lovers but remain a married couple.
    I wish I could be so open minded but I wouldn’t be okay with that kind of situation. It would drive me crazy to think of my husband with another woman.

    Another thing, STDs and AIDS are still rampant and even with protected sex there are risks. To me, it is playing Russian roulette with your health. I for one, would rather have a faithful partnership. If one’s husband is away, there is self-pleasuring and saucy long distance phone calls to your man.

  130. CB Rawks says:

    If they were actually in love with eachother they wouldn’t look anywhere else, and wouldn’t even think about it. This just grosses me out, and I think that Monica would secretly wish that he didn’t want anyone but her.

  131. california angel says:

    I know that cultures view sexuality differently as far as what is acceptable or not for public view and discussion but the ties to ethnicity end there as far as I am concerned, to each their own. Btw if I looked like her and some guy couldn’t stay faithful to me I’d kick his behind to the curb and move on, just saying. If it’s not always about sex than why does he need to have sex with other women? Sounds like a d-bag to me.

  132. Mary says:

    I truly respect the quotes written. I love her realism of being with a man you love passionately and being married to him. I believe exactly what she is saying and all women should take account that men can’t always be monogamous. They always will try…but it is not their nature ever since the first man walk on earth. He was made to procreate. Women are living in a fantasy dream life , must be confident to know this..but when he is with you you are his and with him. No matter what men are men. Women stay strong, independent, keep your nest egg growing. Take care of you looks, body and mind. Show confidence..enhance your sexuality.Always evolve..for men will be men.

  133. Cinderella says:

    What’s elegant if he knocks up a woman who shoes up at her doorstep with a baby in tow? That “loyalty” will be down the shitter along with the marriage.

    Why some women convince themselves this is okay in a marriage I’ll never understand.

  134. Cha Cha Loca says:

    She’s nuts and he is all kinds of sleezeball but whatever floats their boat.

  135. REALIST says:

    The string pic-eroticism for everyone.

    Monica Bellucci is the sexiest woman I have ever seen. Her body is unbelievable. So interesting she is such a pragmatist. I think it shows that she is not only beautiful, but wise.

  136. REALIST says:

    Oh, and btw, if she is fiddling with plastic surgery, it must be minimal. That’s one thing the men of Italy at least, and I believe of France, have over our guys. A woman can be considered beautiful well into her 50’s, even 60’s. I think it is about that mysterious quality of elegance.

  137. Franny says:

    My ex cheated on me and brought home an incurable disease. The same thing would have occurred if I’d “allowed ” him to cheat. Infidelity is unhealthy, emotionally and physically. If you can’t commit, don’t commit.

  138. Alix says:

    Is it equally ridiculous of him to expect fidelity from her after an eternity of two stinkin’ months?

  139. Larissa says:

    honestly, I don´t think anyone should get married, if the other half is not cheating on you, he´s thinking of doing it, like all the time, what is the point really? And I am sorry, as a cheated wife I just can´t understand how any woman can put up with cheating

  140. Solveig says:

    Oh, jeez! I wonder where this idea of “it’s an Italian/french thing” comes from. I guess you Americans have a distorted idea of what European culture is and how we Europeans face love and sex. Yes, we may seem sort of libertines, we aren’t easily shocked by sex per se or flashing nipples, or nudity, but that doesn’t mean that we do not value fidelity and love, or the importance of having a loyal partner for the entire life.
    This is a Monica/Vincent thing, that’s it.

  141. ADS says:

    @Alix. According to gossip this arrangement goes both ways. If rumours are to be believed she also has her own paramour on the side. That be Ilaria D’Amico. An Italian sports TV presenter. Ilaria alluded to the gossip in an interview sometime ago but of course denied there was anything untoward going on. Personally, I can’t imgaine Monica spending lonely nights waiting for sexy Cassel to come home. She deffo getting some from somewhere.

  142. Valerie says:

    It might be natural for a man to want to spread his seed but that burning sensation from the clap is also natural.
    Good luck with the genital herpes, Monica.
    I bet you’ll love him a lot more once you get to the pharmacy and the swelling goes down.
    Nature. LOL.

  143. Solveig says:

    @Lisa Turtle (82), sorry, but ‘amused’ my ass! Saying that Italians think the same way Berlusconi does it’s like saying Americans are as stupid as G.W. Bush.
    Weight your own words, please.
    Berlusconi is a demented, criminal, who’s making laws to save his own ass from the charges he’s been accused of, he brainwashed a whole country through his tv channels for the last 20 years. Yes, some Italians think that he is a god, the rest of the Italians (the most part of them) think he is an old bastard who should be imprisoned.
    Christ, how I hate these clichés, and I don’t even consider myself Italian…

  144. Quercus says:

    He seems like, well, the self-described “dog.”

    However, their combined hotness is melting my computer screen.

  145. Camille says:

    @original kate: Ditto, I agree with you.

  146. Mrs Odie 2 says:

    One of my best friends is French, and he is the most loyal, faithful man I have ever met. He would never cheat on his wife of 14 years. Ever. Never. Infidelity is not French. It’s Bastard.

  147. Crash2GO2 says:

    If you are not going to keep the most emotionally and physically intimate thing two people can do, between the two of you, why bother getting married? IMO, it is not even a marriage. I already had reservations about her (supporter of Polanski and all) and now I think he’s a numbskull as well.

  148. cara says:

    welll…kate hudson said something similar when married to robinson, and look where it got her. yes, I know she’s preggers now, but she looked real desperate there for a while.

    I think some men really like the idea of being with only one woman too. They can mold us for what they like in the boudior, while we can mold them into how we like them the rest of the time.

    ***and I’m sick to death of these unapologetic, “edgy” hollywood types. As if half of them didn’t bl** someone to get to where they are. So taking moralistic advice from them, ahhhhh I don’t think so.

  149. mln76 says:

    too many comments to read but I think an important thing to note is she says if they are apart for months at a time. I think also that if you ‘abandon’ your marriage/relationship and put your work as your long-term priority you are asking for infidelity. I also think disrespect is a separate thing than cheating.

  150. slim27 says:

    lol at aall the women here believing their husband or boyfriends are faithfull. Look, do not believe them no man can be faithfull to any one woman, and monica is a smart, smart cookie to understand that. After the kids, get back to using protection, because a man will be a man and will certainly dip his stick in a random honeypot once in a while. The sooner all women get with this programme, the better for all relationships.

  151. Magsy says:

    He looks like a shit, let him go, she’s pretty enough to have any man she wants. He looks like a French Hugh Laurie but smugger!

  152. sasa says:

    “It might be natural for a man to want to spread his seed but that burning sensation from the clap is also natural.”
    Valerie, that was too funny.

    Oh and to add to the European contingent, it’s definitely not publicly acceptable to be in an open relationship. We acknowledge that some people live like that but it’s always “some people”, never me or you. At least where I am.

  153. blasted1 says:

    She doesn’t come off as giving an interview; but she does come off as if she’s trying more to convince herself than the interviewer how “elegant” the whole thing is. She’s transparent and pitiful.

  154. Colleen says:

    Dunno, can’t knock anyone in an open relationship by choice but it’s not for me. It’s so easy to get STIs these days I’d rather have one person I trust and not have to always have to use protection with your life partner because you never know if they are clean. And then if you wants kids you’re setting yourself up for an infection.

    If I think a guy is sleazy he could be the most perfect looking man in the world but I won’t find him attractive.

    Good post Orion, saying “men are dogs” is an easy way to be unaccountable for anything. The argument that “animals cheat” is dumb for a couple of reasons, and not always true. Bald eagles, swans, wolves, gibbons, etc all mate for life. The gibbons are an interesting example b/c the male & female are the same size and thus have relationship equality. And black vultures have been known to attack those who have been seen cheating! Please excuse my tangent.

  155. Chris says:

    Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn had an “open realationship” too. What part of Eurpoe are they from?

  156. Sue says:

    The people responding to this interview are so judgmental and sanctimonious it’s disgusting. What would any of you holier-than-thous know or understand about the lives others lead where there is distance between couples due to jobs, ill-health, or even pregnancy. As a single woman I have been hit on by so many married men and guess what? Their wives have all been pregnant! Believe that. So yeah, you women go ahead and think in your limited POV that your men are loyal and blah, blah, blah. I know better. And if you weren’t so ignorant so would you. Have fun in the divorce courts.

  157. Flore06 says:

    I think they are wise, and it has nothing to do with Itakian/french nationality.
    They are appart 6 or 7 months each year and they are still strongly tied since 16 years. They don’t want to break this deep relation and little family for one sexual cheat or two, so what is the problem ? Vincent and Monica have for a long time explained how important was their mutual attraction. I think ther way of living and thinking, even if it isn’t mine, is something you can respect. Much more than all these people who show so much “love” and, 2 or 3 days after, divorce for affairs… In their way, Monica and Vincent are preserving their family as the main thing fort them.

  158. Jules says:

    Jealousy is not an admirable trait in anyone. Why must women feel the need to put a man’s balls in a vice? They tolerate rudeness, disrespect, violence, you name it. But her boyfriend, fiance, husband has sex with another and she wants to kill him. Nice set of values. Really. If you don’t want your man fucking around you’d better get used to having sex. Lots of it, pregnant or not. Being a whore before the wedding and then getting fat and out of shape afterwards is unacceptable. Going on a sex strike because you aren’t in the mood is bullshit. Put out or get out. Or turn a blind eye to his wandering lust.

  159. CB Rawks says:

    Sue, what point are you making? All men are pigs? No one should get married?

    “Distance between couples due to pregnancy”? You mean he ran a mile right after?

  160. slim27 says:

    @cb rawks, no what sue is saying is quite simple and honest. Why wont women stop with the illusion of fidelity on the part of men. No man can be faithfull to any one woman. It does not happen. All the women up in here saying oh my man is faithfull, bla..bla..bla…… Right now, he might be doing one of his randoms, and you best believe that. Men cheat, they need the variety, spice and thrill, infact i as a woman do too. Down with the silly talk of sexual fidelity.

  161. Annie says:

    They’re an incredibly good looking couple IMO and open marriages are alright in my book as long as both parties feel the same way about it. I bet Monica has had some men (and women???) on the side too.

  162. CB Rawks says:

    You and Sue speak with exactly the same turn of phrase. As if you were conjoined twins.
    It’s deeply sad for you, if you in all seriousness believe that ALL people do anything. Generalisations are moronic. You are short-changing yourself by slamming ALL people as being scumbags.

  163. su says:

    @cycling no horses

    your comment SLAYED me! here i am trying to catch up on my gossip whilst doing my essay and you have made laygh out loud in the middle of the library! Trust me when i say, i thought EXACTLY the same thing as you! There would be NO ELEGANCE WHATSOEVER about infidelity! Somone would get CUT!

  164. slim27 says:

    @cb rawks. The truth is always a bitter pill to swallow.

  165. Tiffany says:

    Cara>>I think some men really like the idea of being with only one woman too. They can mold us for what they like in the boudior, while we can mold them into how we like them the rest of the time.<<

    ITA. Look, I have been with the same man for 22 years, he’s a hot guy, and I am his hot wife. We are very honest with each other. We DON’T cheat on each other, we have based our entire lives on our family unit and raising our children happily forever. To us it is more important than anything.

    He gets to have the exact kind of sex he wants to have, pretty much whenever he wants it, we will do anything the other wants in bed (except for disgusting stuff which I won’t go into), we have a partner who always has the other’s back, respect and great love and passion for each other. It’s still intense and exciting, more than ever, and since we TRUST each other it makes everything in our lives easier. He cooks for me, runs errands, is never abusive or disrespects me, supports me in raising our children. I respect him, don’t emasculate him and am mightily attracted to him, and I try not to say no too much. Maybe I just got really lucky, but we only want each other. Oh, and we actually talk about all these issues regularly, maybe that is the secret.
    Some dudes do not feel the need to nail anything that walks by. It’s called respect. We are both Italian-Americans, BTW. It’s a very matriarchal society, you don’t mess with the boss mare! Not misogynistic.

  166. Toe says:

    We cant believe ALL people cheat, but the majority does cheat. More than 60%. Look it up.

  167. Runs with Scissors says:


    “…if they are apart for months at a time. I think also that if you ‘abandon’ your marriage/relationship and put your work as your long-term priority you are asking for infidelity. ”

    Wow, glad I’m not in the armed forces.

  168. CB Rawks says:

    The truth is you are extremely bitter, and you HOPE that everyone is a scumbag, because that would make your sad life correct. But you lose. Chase that bitterness with a tictac, maybe?

  169. Crash2GO2 says:

    LOL @CB Rawks!

    slim27: I’m curious – are you in a relationship? An open one? For how long? I’d like to hear how you developed your theory.

  170. Minx2 says:

    First of all, if they have an understanding it’s not “cheating”, secondly, I don’t believe he has a revolving door for random sexual encounters. No sane woman would allow that and still sleep with him.. think of the health issues. Third, she knows the man very well, so she must know his ways and STILL want to be with him. She could be with any man in the world, I’m sure. I don’t think she’s a victim here.
    Flore06- I completely agree with your post! 🙂

  171. jp says:

    Paul Newman said once in an interview,that he did not cheat on his wife because “why go out for hamburger, while back home i have fillet mignon” maybe bellucci is hamburger helper……

  172. LuckyLilGem says:

    It’s okay to disagree people; to each their own reality.

    Who knows, maybe Monica’s statement about her expectations of her husband is a mutual understanding. I mean, there’s no way that men are not hitting on her daily. She is one of the most beautiful women ever!!

  173. Layzo says:

    Look at the way he’s looking at her in the last photo and how tight their hands are wound together. I call that love. And it’s amazing they still have that after so many years together.

    I do think they have a realistic view of partnership. And I agree. It’s very european philosophy because you know that would never fly here in the states. No here, every celebs pretend to be faithful to each other.

    and I think Monica Bellucci is the most beautiful woman ever. Absolutely flawless in Malena.

    And I am not saying all Europeans have open relationships or cheat on each other but I think that they have a more prgmatic view of sex.

  174. carlo says:

    Layzo, these two are suppose to be actors, so maybe all that affection is just a show the are putting .Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz used to hate each other, for the sake of business they had to put an act.

  175. Liam says:

    I agree with her 100%. There’s so much more to relationships, respect, and loyalty than just sexual fidelity. Sex is just a biological imperative, nothing more. Why live any lifestyle without questioning it first? Different lifestyles are for different people just don’t let yours go unexamined.

  176. wenwens says:

    You created certain nice points there. I did a search on the topic and discovered nearly all individuals will agree together with your blog.

  177. hewhoisnotthem says:

    I’m a bit late to this discussion…

    I don’t think she has to care about his fidelity, so when asked, she really didn’t have a status-quo response. Elegance is the key word here.

    Vincent has made love to her…and will continue to if stays classy 😀 She doesn’t care whether or not he has sex with others, because why would he need to? She’s Monica Bellucci.

    So she’s away for 2 months? Seriously? You think Vincent is going to screw another woman, possibly get STDs, embarrass his kids when they grow up, and most likely lose the awesome ability to make love to Monica Bellucci forever? For some random other chick? No. That’s just not going to happen.

    Monica is ageless, and Vincent breakdances like a pro. This couple seems pretty awesome.

  178. trish says:

    She has a choice, she seems happy with the way things are. I would never tolerate cheating, i would rather be on my own than in a relationship. I have been on both sides of the coin, being single and keeping men out of my life is far better in every way. Men tend to dominate, to want it all their own way. If they are happy this way, all the best to them.

  179. I agree with what she says. I don’t like that MOST mean are sexual creatures, but we have to be honest, men WILL BE MEN, when given the chance. I do have this question to Monica,….what if the OTHER PERSON was of the OTHER SEX? I have been hearing rumors lately of his frequent visits to Brazil, and how he participates with MEN and WOMAN (and we are NOT talking 3somes). This is from a VERY reliable source who is a famous DJ in Rio.

  180. KAPLAR TIBERIU says:


  181. Max says:

    It is undeniable that remaining a one sex partner person IS tough. Those who possess the discipline and self control to be like that are far stronger human beings than those who sleep with more than one person while being in a comitted relationship.

  182. George says:

    It’s not only the act of cheating that shows utter disrespect but also most importantly, the risk involved in contracting a sexually transmitted disease. No one who truly loves a person would put him/her at risk. God forbid, one of them contracts AIDS and shares it with whomever they fall in bed with.

    Why would anyone applaud such behavior? Think with your brain and not with your groin. You may live longer.